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Old 01-13-2010, 07:41 AM   #526
LillyBBBW
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i think its possible for people to disagree without having controversy and drama.
*takes a deep breath*

Unfortunately there is no evidence to support this belief. I have strong opinions about weight loss surgery. Once or twice I've shared those opinions or tried to offer another side to an ongoing discussion. These attempts have repeatedly become a disaster. I spent days and days going round and round having to defend myself in such discussion. It drew a lot of focus, a lot of energy to the point where the entire focus was on me and my opinion. It obscured everything else to the point where I was sorry I ever spoke up. People got really upset, people threatened to leave Dimensions, people kicked me off of their Facebook accounts over that crap -- I wasn't even mean about it. It was horrible. Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person. I'm perfectly healthy as of this moment. I don't have to face any issues that involve weight loss surgery, I'm not affected by it in the personal way that many people here are. It's clear that there are many sensitive emotions and experiences entwined with this that aren't a part of my daily reality so I've voluntarily decided to keep my opinions to myself. I've said what I had to say, I've been heard, there isn't anything I have to say that no one has already heard and taken in to account so I won't insult anyone's intelligence by harping on it again. This seems like a no brainer to me. I'm observing that this is a sensitive issue even though we all know that weight loss surgery cheerleading is not allowed at Dimensions. I could bleat on about my contempt for the proceedure here to my hearts content and there wouldn't be a darn thing anyone could do about it. I'm automatically in the right here, no matter what I do. I'm not saying this to smugly dangle it out in front of people. We all know it's true and I know that this is a sore and legitimate point of contention. What I'm saying is that in observance of all of this, many of us have voluntarily opted to leave well enough alone. Hardly any of us go high kicking down there in the WLS forum. It's never a fun time.

I think what is most troubling for many of us is that we've volunteered to leave it alone and keep our comments to ourselves because we like and respect the people who are affected by this issue. We've recognized the sentitivity involved and care enough about the individuals effected that we've chosen to steer clear of pontificating on it. I've even gone so far as to speak out strongly against other's who've done so. This is not meant to be sanctimonious, the real reason is probably more rooted in wanting to avoid drama but honestly? I don't like seeing the kind of pain these discussions inflict on people. But to get the same kind of observances we have to report, infract, erect new forums, create rediculously excessive new rules, etc. It's to no avail though because people simply don't know when enough is enough. We can create new threads with new titles that are more specific and yet the same people barge in once again with the same old saw knowing full well how uptight many people can be about this issues. Here we are trying to be tactful with restraint and it seems nobody gives a shit about us in the same way. It's all about making sure that you're heard over and over in every thread in every corner here. Those of us here who want to hate on weight loss have a clear and unfair advantage here discussion wise and we know it. I'm not opposed to having a discussion as to the disparity between what is allowed here and what isn't and I KNOW this is a sore issue, but this still doesn't stop actions from being personally hurtful. It's even more so when we ask for diplomacy only to get dismissed as fearful hysterics who want to silence the truth. Oh, well excuse us.

Off the top of my head I can think of three people who were permanently banned from this board because they continued to contribute inflammatory opinions that were distressing to people and disruptive of the boards. Opinions aren't really right or wrong, they're simply opinions. These folks were banned for no other reason though. When asked to stop they either couldn't recognize when enough was enough or they simply didn't give a shit. Somewhere amid the muddle of legitimate grievance -- and I do feel that there is a legitimate something there -- there has to be a recognition of that thin line where it's time to give a shit.
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:41 PM   #527
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Lilly makes a good point here.

I've seen a ton of posts that demand a loosening of rules and moderating and reporting with the argument that it's supposed to be a discussion. The thing is, as pointed out above, not all discussions need to involve everyone. If Lilly is talking about African hair care, I have nothing to contribute. A discussion between feeders is just that, a discussion about feederism and other viewpoints are not always welcome or valuable. In the same way, a talk about WLS does not have to include the fact that somebody is opposed to it, it might just be about issues surrounding the surgery or post op care.

When it comes to sexuality, there are many areas where there is nothing to discuss. If somebody has a fetish, they just have it. Despite some people's stated belief that hardwiring is "bullshit", the truth is for most of us, it's something that has been in evidence for years and this has been stated time and again.

To say it needs to be held up for discussion is like saying it's ok to go to the LGBT Board and discuss the "ex-gay" movement, or talk about therapy for Gender Identity Disorder so that transgenders can be 'cured'. Those things would not be welcome, and neither are "discussions" about whether or not it's ok or acceptable to have this sexuality. The idea that we have to open it up for discussion or that such a discussion is in any way productive is just not right.

Beyond that, i don't see most of the intrusions on the fetish talk to be anything beyond a reminder that "I can post anyplace I want on Dims", it's about a turf war and about trying to insist on what Dims is *really* about and who it's *really* for.

It somewhat reminds me of the old Chris Rock bit about saying the N-word. He jokes about how his white friends complain that he can say it and they can't, and he asks why they'd want to? Like your life is perfect except for the fact you can't say that one word? I see WB trolling a lot like that, it never seems to be about wanting to be part of a discussion since it's usually either ridicule or rebuking people for being aroused by the wrong things.
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Old 07-02-2010, 07:10 PM   #528
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I am for feederism, because if you are with a bbw/bhm it is one of the sexiest things you do. You feel more attracted when they get bigger, so feeding makes you feel more with them.
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