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Old 10-07-2010, 06:03 PM   #26
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...I see what you did there.

?????

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Old 10-07-2010, 06:03 PM   #27
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LOL, Bri... cougars are older women who go after/date men younger than themselves.
whoa...........i resemble that remark.

It's not so much that I GO AFTER THEM..i just never grew up..and prefer younger men. I am all for someone my age or older...but they have to KEEP UP WITH ME
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Old 10-07-2010, 08:50 PM   #28
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The thing is that Cougars are a predatory animal species, and the implication is that young men are the prey. One thing I have noticed on this thread is that most of the women are assuming that "cougars" are looking to date younger men. As a man, the term means that the women are just looking for sex without a commitment as are the "prey". These are often women, over 40, who have lives that they do not want to share with younger men, 10+ years younger. The guys like it for the sex with no strings attached. This is not really dating, most of these women do not want to share their lives with their prey.
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Old 10-07-2010, 08:54 PM   #29
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My answer from another thread:

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...91&postcount=7

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I generally end up dating younger men due to interests, habits, similar lifestyles, etc... and I'm fine with that. I'd date someone my age or older if they were attractive to me and fit all the same "we get along well"criteria, but more often than not, it doesn't happen because I'm not big on the dramatic ex-wife, kids and visitation drama, etc, etc. I get baggage, that's fine, but I've kept my life free and easy and busy, and I prefer a partner who's on the same page that way.

And I hate and fully reject the term cougar (unless it's really just a silly joke between me and the guy). I've pretty much always dated younger guys, and as I've gotten older, they've tended to get a little older as well - which I'm fine with. It's not about hookups or proving something, I just happen to like them and it works out that way.
In terms of age gaps... I've dated someone a couple of years older, 5-7 years younger a few times, and the most was 16 years. If I had my choice (which I never do) I'd probably prefer in the 5-10 year younger category than too much younger than that - but I'm open to whatever comes along in life that makes you happy.
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Old 10-07-2010, 09:01 PM   #30
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The thing is that Cougars are a predatory animal species, and the implication is that young men are the prey. One thing I have noticed on this thread is that most of the women are assuming that "cougars" are looking to date younger men. As a man, the term means that the women are just looking for sex without a commitment as are the "prey". These are often women, over 40, who have lives that they do not want to share with younger men, 10+ years younger. The guys like it for the sex with no strings attached. This is not really dating, most of these women do not want to share their lives with their prey.
Interesting how women in the popular media like Demi Moore and Tina Turner who are both married to much younger men are often referred to as 'cougars.' According to how I've often seen and heard the term used, it doesn't just refer to women who are looking for casual sex with younger men. It seems to be blanket term for any older woman with a younger man. I've even heard it used to refer to women in their 40s who may or may not be dating younger men. Simply the fact that we're 40, and thusly considered "older" by the popular media, means that we're 'cougars'? Yeah, right.

And who's to say that casual sex isn't considered 'dating' by many people? Almost every guy I've met online and dated has assumed that 'dating' includes casual sex. So why harsh on the women who choose to engage in casual sex? Why refer to the men they spend their time with as 'prey,' and the women as 'cougars'? It's demeaning to women and however we choose to live our lives.
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Old 10-07-2010, 09:16 PM   #31
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Interesting how women in the popular media like Demi Moore and Tina Turner who are both married to much younger men are often referred to as 'cougars.' According to how I've often seen and heard the term used, it doesn't just refer to women who are looking for casual sex with younger men. It seems to be blanket term for any older woman with a younger man. I've even heard it used to refer to women in their 40s who may or may not be dating younger men. Simply the fact that we're 40, and thusly considered "older" by the popular media, means that we're 'cougars'? Yeah, right.

And who's to say that casual sex isn't considered 'dating' by many people? Almost every guy I've met online and dated has assumed that 'dating' includes casual sex. So why harsh on the women who choose to engage in casual sex? Why refer to the men they spend their time with as 'prey,' and the women as 'cougars'? It's demeaning to women and however we choose to live our lives.
Well you have websites like Cougarlife.com They have a ridiculous ad that always comes up on my satellite radio. They make no bones about it, that it is about sex, and not dating. "we aren't really dating, we just like to have fun, over and over..." direct quote from the ad.
I have read articles on events, not unlike the Bashes, where older women and younger men meet for the main purpose of "hooking up" in an uncommitted fashion.
The cougar is one of the few animals in north america that stalks and kills humans. The implication to me has always been aggressive women who pursue younger men. Guys who engage in the same activity are often called "dirty old men".
I did not mean to demean women, in their choices of partners, long or short term, but rather tried to inject what the term has come to mean to men.
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:31 AM   #32
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Cougars? Gee, I don't think I'd last long if a cougar was interested in me. lol
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Old 10-08-2010, 11:39 AM   #33
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I think the 'rules' are a little different for the ladies than for the guys; the ladies tend to get either neutral or positive attention for their activities, while men are doing well not to be publicly called dirty old men as freekitiki metioned. Maybe it's from whom the negative attention is from? Do the guys like it because it improves the odds of nsa recreation, and the ladies think it's reprehensible that other ladies 'who should know better' are doing what's right for them?

At 40, I have nothing to gain or lose from the cougar scenario, so I honestly feel no personal reason anyone should object or have issue with it. If a younger guy is what makes a lady happy, by all means pursue it; I wish the ladies the best of luck in finding happiness, whether it's temporary or long term.
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Old 10-08-2010, 05:05 PM   #34
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The implication to me has always been aggressive women ...

hahah... ok. Definitely not a cougar! Sweet.
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Old 10-08-2010, 05:10 PM   #35
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I think the 'rules' are a little different for the ladies than for the guys; the ladies tend to get either neutral or positive attention for their activities, while men are doing well not to be publicly called dirty old men as freekitiki metioned. Maybe it's from whom the negative attention is from? Do the guys like it because it improves the odds of nsa recreation, and the ladies think it's reprehensible that other ladies 'who should know better' are doing what's right for them?

At 40, I have nothing to gain or lose from the cougar scenario, so I honestly feel no personal reason anyone should object or have issue with it. If a younger guy is what makes a lady happy, by all means pursue it; I wish the ladies the best of luck in finding happiness, whether it's temporary or long term.

I don't find cougar positive at all, and not neutral too often. I actually think of it as a pathetic older woman who's basically bedding young men, paying for their baubles, and essentially using and being used... I hear younger guys I work with talk about the "cougar" bars where they go to get free drinks and basically just laugh at the old ladies, maybe get wrecked and hook up with them for a good story. It's all just gross (the attitudes, not old/young having sex.)

And keep in mind, this is coming from someone who has dated and will continue (probably, assuming I ever go on a date again) to date men who are likely to be at least somewhat younger than me. But I am not the "idea" of the woman I described above, so I guess that's why I don't consider myself a cougar and hate (other than jokes) being associated.
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Old 10-08-2010, 05:48 PM   #36
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I don't find cougar positive at all, and not neutral too often. I actually think of it as a pathetic older woman who's basically bedding young men, paying for their baubles, and essentially using and being used... I hear younger guys I work with talk about the "cougar" bars where they go to get free drinks and basically just laugh at the old ladies, maybe get wrecked and hook up with them for a good story. It's all just gross (the attitudes, not old/young having sex.)

And keep in mind, this is coming from someone who has dated and will continue (probably, assuming I ever go on a date again) to date men who are likely to be at least somewhat younger than me. But I am not the "idea" of the woman I described above, so I guess that's why I don't consider myself a cougar and hate (other than jokes) being associated.

Yeah, I agree with you AnneMarie... it always makes me think of that other term too "MILF"... to me they are both negative terms
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Old 10-09-2010, 03:47 PM   #37
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I hear younger guys I work with talk about the "cougar" bars where they go to get free drinks and basically just laugh at the old ladies, maybe get wrecked and hook up with them for a good story. It's all just gross (the attitudes, not old/young having sex.)
Guys who do that are no better than "hoggers."
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Old 10-09-2010, 04:37 PM   #38
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Guys who do that are no better than "hoggers."
Agree - totally.
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Old 10-09-2010, 08:03 PM   #39
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Wow! I never thought of it in those terms. I guess I always pictured the scenario from American Pie where Jennifer Coolidge plays Stiffler's Mom, a confident, wealthy attractive woman who beds an appreciative youngster in the graduating senior class. I also imagined the cougar being able to immediately sense and repel juvenile delinquents who are amused by the idea of hooking up with them or 'hogging.'

Food for thought, for certain; cougars are still human beings, not always able to leap skyscrapers in a single bound like my vision implies.
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Old 10-09-2010, 09:45 PM   #40
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Why does the term even exist in the first place? Why are women being judged for their sexual activities?
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Old 10-09-2010, 09:58 PM   #41
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Why are women being judged for their sexual activities?
To perpetuate an oppressive patriarchy.
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Old 10-13-2010, 02:27 PM   #42
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I think the 'rules' are a little different for the ladies than for the guys; the ladies tend to get either neutral or positive attention for their activities, while men are doing well not to be publicly called dirty old men as freekitiki metioned. Maybe it's from whom the negative attention is from? Do the guys like it because it improves the odds of nsa recreation, and the ladies think it's reprehensible that other ladies 'who should know better' are doing what's right for them?

At 40, I have nothing to gain or lose from the cougar scenario, so I honestly feel no personal reason anyone should object or have issue with it. If a younger guy is what makes a lady happy, by all means pursue it; I wish the ladies the best of luck in finding happiness, whether it's temporary or long term.

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Old 10-13-2010, 05:41 PM   #43
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And to think it had been SO long! I KNEW it!



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Old 10-30-2010, 11:32 AM   #44
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First I wanted to say that I never really thought of it as a negative thing. I just thought of it as older women who like younger men. That can be bad I guess, but just the basic idea isn't. And secondly I wanted to say that I am 20, and I am attracted to older women, I think they are much more mature and experienced etc. So I guess I'm the second "cougar bait" to post here if you will.
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Old 10-31-2010, 06:18 PM   #45
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I'm 38 and my fiance is 25. I don't consider myself a "cougar"...I consider myself a woman that was lucky enough to find a man with the same interests and ideals as me who loves me as much as I love him.
That is all.
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Old 11-17-2010, 07:47 PM   #46
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Creeps.

Cradle-robbers, if you want to be nice about it.
30 yr old guy and 18 yr old chick is not really strange in my city...
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Old 11-17-2010, 08:08 PM   #47
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30 yr old guy and 18 yr old chick is not really strange in my city...
Exactly... Not in the least bit rare in my city, either.

I was one of those chicks who always dated men much older. And still do. But I wouldn't call them craddle robbers OR creeps. In fact, between 18 and 19, I dated 3 men in their mid 30s, and now at 20, I've gone on dates with 2 men who were 34. I don't see how that's bad at all. Nor does my family, apparently. If I walked in with someone closer to my age, that would be a different story

Perhaps I'm biased lol.
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Old 11-17-2010, 08:41 PM   #48
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at 21 i dated a woman who was 38 for a few months

at 22 i dated a 30 year old woman

at 24 i dated a 35 year old woman

i don't really see a problem with it, obviously....although i'm now 35....
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Old 11-18-2010, 04:04 PM   #49
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I'm thirty-five and I find myself attracted to men in the 25+ range, I'm not sure if that's, 'cougarish,' persae but I'm not uncomfortable with the term.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:26 PM   #50
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What about what about being a cougar?

I don't think I've run into the super-skanky versions of this phenom -- I know it's out there, and probably I've seen it more than I realize -- but although I find the term tedious/offensive it bothers me less than some people because I have come to associate it with general dating, period. Most single women my age do end up dating younger men, if nothing else cause many single men are younger. If that makes sense. The term does suck, I agree, but it has traction just because so many people date this way (older woman/younger man) these days.

Anyhow, yes, I totally date younger men. Why not.
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