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Old 10-02-2010, 10:01 PM   #26
thatgirl08
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thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!
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I'm not sure if it really offends them as much as it pisses them off.. like how DARE she feel that way about herself. I'm not even in your face about it at all.. and I don't accept myself 100%.. there's a lot of things I hate about my body still.. and yet even the slightest bit of self confidence is interpreted as a slap in the face to everyone else.

I think it also puts up barriers between me & certain friends and me & my mom.. they're so used to bonding over self loathing and diet tips that they can't understand why I just don't want to anymore.. why I haven't wanted to for the last two years. Sometimes I indulge them just because I feel like I'm putting up a wall between us by refusing to talk about it.
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Old 10-03-2010, 04:45 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by thatgirl08 View Post
...they're so used to bonding over self loathing and diet tips that they can't understand why I just don't want to anymore...
That's pretty much the worst thing any woman can do for herself; and like you highlight, Thatgirl, it doesn't just affect them. They end up transferring their hatred of their own bodies onto other women. Nothing is good enough for them, and they'll be damn if anyone else should be in the least bit okay.

Because of that sort of attitude I'm confident behind closed doors (how contradictory does that sound?), but out in public or with friends and family I don't draw attention to how I view myself, whether that be secure or insecure. I just act like one of those people who hasn't noticed she's got a body.

At least it looks better than checking myself out in the reflections of shop windows every ten paces...
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Old 10-03-2010, 06:04 AM   #28
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LOL. I'm one of those incredibly vain, mirror-fixated girls, but I don't think it truly bothers anyone. My friends and family members would much rather deal with Bathsheba Everdene than the self-loathing alternative, even if they do feel that Bathsheba could stand to lose another 30 pounds or so (and I'm speaking mainly about my parents here).

That said, I do believe there's a huge difference between needlessly potshotting healthy self-perception on one hand and getting annoyed by arrogant behavior on the other. It's cool to love yourself, but it's not cool to act like Mrs. Elton in Emma. This is why I reserve my unguarded and unfiltered moments of rapturous self-adoration for the people who enjoy it and understand how far I've come to be able to like myself this much.
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Old 10-03-2010, 07:38 AM   #29
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Confidence to me is not just feeling confident in your looks, but confident in who you are: your personality, your psychological make-up, your thought process, your introversion or extroversion, how you choose to express yourself, your good parts and bad. Confidence is not being afraid to show others who you are in any circumstance, to be as authentic as you can at all times, but also knowing yourself well enough to let go when faced with constant negativity. For example, when my mother starts getting negative about my body, I excuse myself from the conversation and hang up the phone or leave her house. I have done the same thing with friends when they engage in that kind of negativity. Being around friends and family when they're spewing nothing but negativity does nothing for my self confidence. I prefer to surround myself with people who are supportive and don't flinch from discussing body politics.
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Old 10-03-2010, 08:07 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Tania View Post
LOL. I'm one of those incredibly vain, mirror-fixated girls, but I don't think it truly bothers anyone. My friends and family members would much rather deal with Bathsheba Everdene than the self-loathing alternative, even if they do feel that Bathsheba could stand to lose another 30 pounds or so (and I'm speaking mainly about my parents here).

That said, I do believe there's a huge difference between needlessly potshotting healthy self-perception on one hand and getting annoyed by arrogant behavior on the other. It's cool to love yourself, but it's not cool to act like Mrs. Elton in Emma. This is why I reserve my unguarded and unfiltered moments of rapturous self-adoration for the people who enjoy it and understand how far I've come to be able to like myself this much.
That's a good way of looking at things; it's what I meant about being confident behind closed doors - as in, for people like on Dims, or where it's respected/appreciated - but you put it much better!
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Old 10-07-2010, 01:45 PM   #31
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what's funny is the more insecure and self conscious I feel, the more I come across as confident and/or arrogant...

One time someone told me that I always seem confident and secure, and carried myself well... yet the times she was talking about, inside I was a wreck.

I try to portray the opposite of what I feel inside I guess...

however, I can be very awkward in social situations... sighhhh... I suck at "small talk" for the most part and always worry how others perceive that awkwardness at that moment, which makes me even MORE awkward haha

Last edited by fat9276; 10-07-2010 at 01:49 PM. Reason: stuff
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Old 10-14-2010, 12:29 PM   #32
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I am a confident person in general and over the years I have put off quite a few people with that. It is not that I am all about how I look (I would change a number of things about my appearance) it is that I am confident in who I am, my looks are irrelevant in my determination of my value. I am highly opinionated, expect to be treated well and don't take a lot of shit. This I am sure has attributed to some people deciding I needed to be knocked down a peg or two but it usually has ended up with them wishing they shut there yaps.
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Old 10-14-2010, 02:35 PM   #33
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I am a confident person in general and over the years I have put off quite a few people with that. It is not that I am all about how I look (I would change a number of things about my appearance) it is that I am confident in who I am, my looks are irrelevant in my determination of my value. I am highly opinionated, expect to be treated well and don't take a lot of shit. This I am sure has attributed to some people deciding I needed to be knocked down a peg or two but it usually has ended up with them wishing they shut there yaps.


oh my gosh! you sound like a very good friend of mine, who I miss very much!
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