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Old 08-25-2010, 11:47 PM   #1
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Default Domesticity Fantasies that include Weight Gain

Okay, so I'm the typical 'pretty, nice young lady', albeit with an extra roll and super breasts. I was raised in typical Protestant home, typical American parents, typical this, typical that.

I know I'll get married eventually, and hopefully within the next few years. I also know that I've been training myself to cook, to clean, to sew, and to be an intelligent and articulate woman.

I presume that I will slide from one typical American household into another.

So why on earth do I get such an atypical thrill from the idea of fattening up my future still-imaginary hubby?

Not to the point of debilitation, I must note. Just...giving him a generous paunch sounds like the perfect way to spend the first few years of our marriage.

Several memories/images strike me when I see this, but here's one situation that I remember most clearly. My friend is the youngest in a large family, and her older sister got married two years or so ago. Already, her husband seems to have gained maybe fifteen pounds, maybe twenty, and it looks quite good on him.

I recall at a recent party seeing him, so ruddy and vivid and cheerful, and when his brother-in-law called him out on his recent weight gain, he just grinned, rubbed his plump belly, and said he'd been getting a little extra love lately.

Love. That's how he described it. It struck me...really uncannily. I know there are stories in the Library Board that describe the weight gain in such terms...but it was really uncanny to see it so 'close to home', offline, like that.

What do you think? Do you associate fatness with love? Why? And do include other details, like if you're married etc. and how your perception might have been altered over the course of the years and your sexual development.
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:48 AM   #2
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Heh, my associations of some weight gain from wedded bliss were fairly similar to yours. As it happens my girlfriend/fiancee had gained quite a bit of weight while we were dating, and I'd gained a bit. After we were married I made a couple of suggestions related to making sure our life was fat friendly, thinking that of course we'd gain a chunk more. At the same time she started talking about how to lose weight, change our lifestyles and so forth. I guess for her dating was the time for fun and frivolity, marriage was time to be practical, so kind of the opposite of what I was thinking.

So....views vary. If it is important to you, make sure to sound out your prospective partner ahead of time! (fortunately it was not highly important to me, so I lived with the lack of further weight gain)
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Old 08-26-2010, 11:15 AM   #3
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So why on earth do I get such an atypical thrill from the idea of fattening up my future still-imaginary hubby?
Because you are an FFA.

It's what you like. Nothing wrong there it's just who you are.

My Wife and I both gained weight after we got married only she ended up back where she started and I am about 60lbs heavier.
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Old 08-26-2010, 12:02 PM   #4
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I'm from a Sicilian background, and in Sicilian culture food is love. Food accompanies EVERYTHING. There is no social occasion without a feast, it simply isn't done. Women are supposed to fatten their men. Heck, if a Sicilian couple are married for a while and the man is still thin, old Sicilian women will tell the wife that she's not being a good wife, because she is not feeding him right.

It sounds to me like you need to marry a Sicilian man.
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Old 08-26-2010, 12:20 PM   #5
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I'm from a Sicilian background, and in Sicilian culture food is love. Food accompanies EVERYTHING. There is no social occasion without a feast, it simply isn't done. Women are supposed to fatten their men. Heck, if a Sicilian couple are married for a while and the man is still thin, old Sicilian women will tell the wife that she's not being a good wife, because she is not feeding him right.

It sounds to me like you need to marry a Sicilian man.
Lovely idea. Actually, the best friend's family I mentioned is part Sicilian. And she still has single brothers.

But yes, in all seriousness, that's where my mentality is somewhat. I think of fattening as a natural process that comes with living life happily and well. It might be derived from experience, such as my reading of "Die Geschichte vom Suppen-Kaspar" (from Struwwelpeter), or...well, who knows.

@Tad: Aw. That's a little sad. But I admire that you are still with her despite it. Some people would chuck it at a shift like that.

"I guess for her dating was the time for fun and frivolity, marriage was time to be practical, so kind of the opposite of what I was thinking."

A dismal view, perhaps. Marriage is just a beginning, or at least, that's my ideal. Not an end, especially to things that bring one happiness of a kind. Like food. Dieting (different from fasting) is just self-torture and to no end.

@Durin: Eh, I'm looking for more than just a label. I'm searching deeper than that. Thank you, however.
Other opinions?
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Old 08-26-2010, 12:42 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Fat Molly View Post
Okay, so I'm the typical 'pretty, nice young lady', albeit with an extra roll and super breasts. I was raised in typical Protestant home, typical American parents, typical this, typical that.

I know I'll get married eventually, and hopefully within the next few years. I also know that I've been training myself to cook, to clean, to sew, and to be an intelligent and articulate woman.

I presume that I will slide from one typical American household into another.

So why on earth do I get such an atypical thrill from the idea of fattening up my future still-imaginary hubby?

Not to the point of debilitation, I must note. Just...giving him a generous paunch sounds like the perfect way to spend the first few years of our marriage.

Several memories/images strike me when I see this, but here's one situation that I remember most clearly. My friend is the youngest in a large family, and her older sister got married two years or so ago. Already, her husband seems to have gained maybe fifteen pounds, maybe twenty, and it looks quite good on him.

I recall at a recent party seeing him, so ruddy and vivid and cheerful, and when his brother-in-law called him out on his recent weight gain, he just grinned, rubbed his plump belly, and said he'd been getting a little extra love lately.

Love. That's how he described it. It struck me...really uncannily. I know there are stories in the Library Board that describe the weight gain in such terms...but it was really uncanny to see it so 'close to home', offline, like that.

What do you think? Do you associate fatness with love? Why? And do include other details, like if you're married etc. and how your perception might have been altered over the course of the years and your sexual development.
I'm no stranger to daydreaming about living with a woman I personally put some paunch on.

Its a perfectly natural thing to do when you're an FA/FFA.

If you manage to find someone to settle down with and he/she doesn't mind putting on a few, I'd say you struck gold Molly lol
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Old 08-26-2010, 12:58 PM   #7
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@Tad: Aw. That's a little sad. But I admire that you are still with her despite it. Some people would chuck it at a shift like that.

"I guess for her dating was the time for fun and frivolity, marriage was time to be practical, so kind of the opposite of what I was thinking."

A dismal view, perhaps. Marriage is just a beginning, or at least, that's my ideal. Not an end, especially to things that bring one happiness of a kind. Like food. Dieting (different from fasting) is just self-torture and to no end.
Just to correct any misapprehension here....I'm very happily married and we have lots of fun in many ways, just not in some of the ways that I'd anticipated....it just turns out I'm more frivolous than she is, and being fat is hardly practical. *shrug* I'd put it on par with finding out that your partner didn't actually like the music that you listen to all the time, but had not complained when dating. Maybe a bit "OK, I wish I'd known sooner....but it wouldn't have changed anything, other than maybe feeling a little less foolish now for having bought these concert tickets."
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Old 08-26-2010, 01:03 PM   #8
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@ Tad: Okay, that's exactly what I thought ou were saying. But there are very petty people out there who would still chuck it for something as minor as that.

But much gladness on my part that it's all worked out for you.
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:22 PM   #9
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I do associate love with food, feeding and eating. I too come from an Italian background where a fat husband is a happy husband. All our celebrations include a feast so it is intertwined with our culture.

I have a question for Fat Molly---are you writing an article or book on fat people?
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:31 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Fat Molly View Post
Okay, so I'm the typical 'pretty, nice young lady', albeit with an extra roll and super breasts. I was raised in typical Protestant home, typical American parents, typical this, typical that. [snip]

So why on earth do I get such an atypical thrill from the idea of fattening up my future still-imaginary hubby?

What do you think? Do you associate fatness with love? Why? And do include other details, like if you're married etc. and how your perception might have been altered over the course of the years and your sexual development.
I think there are quite a few cultures (eastern european ones like mine eg) that associate warmth, love, eating, home, hearth, cosy-kitchens, family, all under the same lovely set of associations.

In an intimate relationship, though, there's an additional magic that goes with partners settling in, getting really comfortable with one another and essentially putting down roots for the long haul. Nothing says "going the distance" like the secure chubbiness of a couple in a warm embrace.
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:32 PM   #11
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I do associate love with food, feeding and eating. I too come from an Italian background where a fat husband is a happy husband. All our celebrations include a feast so it is intertwined with our culture.

I have a question for Fat Molly---are you writing an article or book on fat people?
No. No. Maybe in the future. Maybe a future thesis. But I'm currently just trying to satisfy my own curiosity, trying to understand this relatively new-discovered part of myself that has been taboo all my life...until I came across this community.

I must ask you two questions, now: would you be in favor of me writing a book on the subject of fat people? And why did you get the impression that I might be?

And @GTFA:

"In an intimate relationship, though, there's an additional magic that goes with partners settling in, getting really comfortable with one another and essentially putting down roots for the long haul. Nothing says "going the distance" like the secure chubbiness of a couple in a warm embrace." Beautiful way of saying that. I like it.
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:58 PM   #12
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No. No. Maybe in the future. Maybe a future thesis. But I'm currently just trying to satisfy my own curiosity, trying to understand this relatively new-discovered part of myself that has been taboo all my life...until I came across this community.

I must ask you two questions, now: would you be in favor of me writing a book on the subject of fat people? And why did you get the impression that I might be?
I am not especially delighted when I get the impression that someone is doing something akin to conducting experiments on lab rats. You seem to be collecting data. Your approach is, in all honesty, cold and analytical.

As your profile indicates, you're not here for a relationship, only personal and intellectual or academic reasons. For many of us here, it is highly personal and we would resent it if we discovered that we were unwitting (and possibly unwilling) participants in someone else's fact finding study.

If you are in fact working on anything of that nature, I would appreciate it if you came clean so we can decide for ourselves whether or not to continue to contribute.
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Old 08-26-2010, 10:49 PM   #13
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No. In all honesty, I am not.

I've been told that I'm a cold person by a few people, but those who know me well can attest otherwise. I suppose I am somewhat formal, and I am asking a lot of questions.

But I'm really not working on a book. Nor any other piece of writing that is fat-related, save the little snippets of fat-fiction that I've been posting in the library.

The reason I'm not looking for a relationship is because I'm just out of a relationship that is...well, not completely over. It's in a state of limbo right now. And the reason I specifically added such a note to my profile (gosh, I'm surprised anybody read it so fast! I just changed it today!) is because someone directly emailed me with a relationship-searching PM this week. In addition, I'm not interested in dating anyone from off the internet again...I did that with my past(ish) relationship and it failed, and I realize that I myself am not well-suited for it. At least, not at the age I am. (Which is too young to be dealing with serious dating, in all likelihood.)

Moreover, I do not come to this site as a skeptic. I come as someone who is trying to understand my own fascination, with a lens based on my academic training. So I suppose my listing of 'academic' on my profile is misleading in that sense. I shall remove it, because I didn't think it would be an alarming sort of thing. That's all.
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Old 08-26-2010, 11:29 PM   #14
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Double-post, oh well.

Here are a few things that might be interesting. I was inspired to start this whole thread by the questions listed here: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...t=69102&page=3

My answer in particular where I was tempted to write more but ended up just starting this thread:

"3. When did you "come clean" about being a FA/FFA? Or have you?

The only person to whom I have admitted the deep roots of my fascination with fat is my darling ex-boyfriend, who is still a dear friend. I think I do have a problem with that...because he rather misinterprets it...but I'll introduce that on another thread.

I think I did mention once to my mum something about fattening up my ex, but I wouldn't presume that she took that in a sexual way. It's actually rather terrible...even the visualisation of domestically-accumulated flab excites me. It's...hm...should dedicate yet another thread to this."

Really, that's where it came from. Not because I'm doing some cold-blooded 'research' on 'lab rats'. Just pure interest in sharing experiences, and getting some help. As I explain here:
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=76801

"I am a philosophy student. Not a psych student or someone doing fetish studies or anything like that. I suppose there is a distinction between what is a 'fetish' and what is a 'preference'...if I were studying this for school or some other scientific 'research', I would have figured this out before now!

And anyway, if I were to do research on fat for school, then it'd be more in the realm of literature...which would probably mean that I wouldn't be asking these sorts of questions.

In any case, I do still see my situation as somewhat of a dilemma. The issue is less, now, the sexual/fat issue, but more the romantic one.

What really hurts is that I've been a lurker for months and now that I've just recently decided to come out and admit my attraction, I'm being rejected by this community, for whatever reason, which gets the wrong kind of vibe from me.

Maybe I just don't fit the mold that is most amenable to this sort of forum. But I just got to say it, over and over. It hurts. It HURTS.

I suppose my approach does come across as 'reasearch'-ish. But then again, I was doing 'research'...though very, very personal research. Nobody who knows me knows that I have this obsession, save two people. Especially because I try to be extremely prudish and because I am in a very devout circle of Christian friends. My inner self is contrasting deeply with my outer persona, and I'm trying to reach a state of balance. And it's driving me crazy. There's forcing the thoughts out of one's mind...and then there's the issue of them coming back, darker, stronger, and more virile with every submergence into the fatosphere.

If that isn't convincing to people of my genuinity, then I will be deeply saddend. I'm really just an awkward college student trying to make sense of things."
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Old 08-27-2010, 02:02 AM   #15
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Double-post, oh well.

Here are a few things that might be interesting. I was inspired to start this whole thread by the questions listed here: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...t=69102&page=3

My answer in particular where I was tempted to write more but ended up just starting this thread:

"3. When did you "come clean" about being a FA/FFA? Or have you?

The only person to whom I have admitted the deep roots of my fascination with fat is my darling ex-boyfriend, who is still a dear friend. I think I do have a problem with that...because he rather misinterprets it...but I'll introduce that on another thread.

I think I did mention once to my mum something about fattening up my ex, but I wouldn't presume that she took that in a sexual way. It's actually rather terrible...even the visualisation of domestically-accumulated flab excites me. It's...hm...should dedicate yet another thread to this."

Really, that's where it came from. Not because I'm doing some cold-blooded 'research' on 'lab rats'. Just pure interest in sharing experiences, and getting some help. As I explain here:
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=76801

"I am a philosophy student. Not a psych student or someone doing fetish studies or anything like that. I suppose there is a distinction between what is a 'fetish' and what is a 'preference'...if I were studying this for school or some other scientific 'research', I would have figured this out before now!

And anyway, if I were to do research on fat for school, then it'd be more in the realm of literature...which would probably mean that I wouldn't be asking these sorts of questions.

In any case, I do still see my situation as somewhat of a dilemma. The issue is less, now, the sexual/fat issue, but more the romantic one.

What really hurts is that I've been a lurker for months and now that I've just recently decided to come out and admit my attraction, I'm being rejected by this community, for whatever reason, which gets the wrong kind of vibe from me.

Maybe I just don't fit the mold that is most amenable to this sort of forum. But I just got to say it, over and over. It hurts. It HURTS.

I suppose my approach does come across as 'reasearch'-ish. But then again, I was doing 'research'...though very, very personal research. Nobody who knows me knows that I have this obsession, save two people. Especially because I try to be extremely prudish and because I am in a very devout circle of Christian friends. My inner self is contrasting deeply with my outer persona, and I'm trying to reach a state of balance. And it's driving me crazy. There's forcing the thoughts out of one's mind...and then there's the issue of them coming back, darker, stronger, and more virile with every submergence into the fatosphere.

If that isn't convincing to people of my genuinity, then I will be deeply saddend. I'm really just an awkward college student trying to make sense of things."
Who from the community rejected you?
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Old 08-27-2010, 08:34 AM   #16
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*sigh* I over-reacted...too tired, first week back at school. Never mind.
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Old 08-27-2010, 01:12 PM   #17
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Molly I can understand, since you just figured this out why you would be so interested in your FAness. I know I am but I have never really found any satisfactory answer.

Loving Fat people is not a hard thing to deal with. So consequently most FA's eventually find their life partner and they just enjoy their "kink" so to speak.

This community has been burned several times by folks "researching" so don't be put off by that, its just a reaction to what has gone before.

I understand you are a Christian and so am I. I don't think there is any conflict in you finding a fat person to live your life with. As long as you are both on the same page.

The Dims community doesn't hate you.

Feel free to PM me if you have any additional questions.
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Old 08-27-2010, 05:48 PM   #18
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So why on earth do I get such an atypical thrill from the idea of fattening up my future still-imaginary hubby?
Because it's not atypical, I don't think. It's a testament to your cooking/him being happily married. I think it fits right in.
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Old 08-27-2010, 09:26 PM   #19
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And @GTFA:

"In an intimate relationship, though, there's an additional magic that goes with partners settling in, getting really comfortable with one another and essentially putting down roots for the long haul. Nothing says "going the distance" like the secure chubbiness of a couple in a warm embrace." Beautiful way of saying that. I like it.
Thanks. AND it occurs to me that maybe the whole appeal of SSBBW is this very quality. It's not really a profound insight, just everything that we've always been told to read into Venus of Willendorf, images of fertility, etc. Fat isn't just beautiful, it's the form of the good (...ha!! i mis-typed that as the form of the FOOD), our touchstone of health comfort and joy. Santa Claus, etc? The Grim Reaper is skinny. Starving people do not look beautiful. It's a very recent shift in our visual vocabulary, this attempt by the assorted media to persuade us that thin is beautiful.

For some of us that persuasion has failed utterly.
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Old 08-27-2010, 11:29 PM   #20
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@ GTAFA: Another thing that the way you phrased that reminds me of is a short fanfiction story that was published somewhere...it was a twist on Dickens' A Christmas Carol and I read it some years ago...the premise of the story was that Bob Cratchitt was actually a liar and a pain-in-the-arse employee who ended up poisoning Scrooge by putting a wick of laudanum in his candle, causing Scrooge to have the three visions and then stumble into the street, only to be run over by a wagon. The inspector who handled the case was this plump guy from Scotland Yard who would come home and talk about the case with his plump wife. And those scenes, in retrospect, seemed to be total FA fluff. I liked that story immensely, even though I read it years ago. Cutest thing ever.

No, starving people are not beautiful. They are lacking in nutrition. Plumper people are not lacking (at least caloriewise, though nutrient-wise it's very possible) though perhaps arguably they lack 'restraint'. (Irrelevant if one is a feedee, of course.) But in any case, my point is, fat = not lacking essential things like food. Therefore, fat seems to be closer to happiness, at least in a very philosophical sense.
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Old 09-03-2010, 09:23 AM   #21
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Therefore, fat seems to be closer to happiness, at least in a very philosophical sense.
Hm, nice post, but with all due respect, I think it's more than just philosophical. When I look at the Venus of Willendorf, it's very easy to see how She was sacred & divine. If Northern Europeans at the end of the Ice Age were sometimes close to starvation in their caves, chasing the occasional deer or raccoon, fatness would be more than erotic, but also the very form of goodness and life. As a cave-dad or cave-mom (not Fred & Wilma but the pair of Willendorfians i posit above), you'd look at skinny children and fear their imminent death. When your children have fat they might survive. When Mom & Dad are fat they might survive. Fatness is life. Thinness is death. Gradually more and more people would survive and get chubby as game became plentiful and the snow& ice receded from the land. But the sacred eroticism of obesity endured for thousands of years, only now melting away in the harsh klieg lights of the past century.

We have the luxury of choice. They did not.
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Old 01-07-2011, 01:44 AM   #22
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[QUOTE=Fat Molly;

I suppose my approach does come across as 'reasearch'-ish. But then again, I was doing 'research'...though very, very personal research. Nobody who knows me knows that I have this obsession, save two people. Especially because I try to be extremely prudish and because I am in a very devout circle of Christian friends. My inner self is contrasting deeply with my outer persona, and I'm trying to reach a state of balance. And it's driving me crazy. There's forcing the thoughts out of one's mind...and then there's the issue of them coming back, darker, stronger, and more virile with every submergence into the fatosphere.

If that isn't convincing to people of my genuinity, then I will be deeply saddend. I'm really just an awkward college student trying to make sense of things."[/QUOTE]

Actually Molly, I think you are totally legit. You seem like you are honestly and earnestly pursuing your self discovery, in a logical, intellectual way. I think you and I are very similar in our approach. I think maybe some people here would rather not submit their fantasies to scientific scrutiny, perhaps because it diminishes the magic. But There are plenty of dear, wonderful people here, who defend and activly advocate for people of differing mien. As for me, I want to be part of any community that tolerates difference and celebrates diversity. To that end, please know that you are welcome, you have friends here and are likely to find more.
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