Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Fat sexuality



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-30-2010, 02:40 AM   #1
karcass
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
karcass has said some nice things
Default whats your story?

I'm a 19 year old girl and I have secret sexual fantasies about being forced to eat more and gain weight and be admired for it. I like the thought of watching the number grow on the scale and seeing my belly get fatter.

I'm thin but I have alllwaayyss struggled a lot with my self image, thinking im fat, wanting desperately to be thinner, obsessing over the scale. I've been sucking in my belly since I was 5 cause I'd hear my moms friends talk about their weight.. and I do have a secret little belly I always hold back and obsess about.

I dont know if its just me, but I dont want to be turned on by this.. its distracting me from my sex life with my boyfriend and I think it's psychological. I need to be thin but I fantasize about gaining weight! Please post your stories.. I want to hear about your life in the past and now and any thoughts or feelings you have.
karcass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2011, 11:43 PM   #2
Destroyer117
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 7
Destroyer117 has said some nice things
Default

I'm in my early twenties and I've had anappreciatipn for larger women since I was middle school, however I think women of all sizes are beautiful and have likewise dated chubby and skinny girls over the years. If I could give you any advice it would be; you don't have to worry about your body image as I'm sure are many people who would love you no matter what you look like on the outside. I'm sure you would feel alot less worriesome if you let go of your "obligations" to maintain a certian body image. Just be yourself!
Destroyer117 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2011, 09:11 AM   #3
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,529
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

You are far from the only person to have this struggle, the erotic desire to gain but wanting to be thin for many other reasons. Having that fantasy of being forced to gain seems to be a pretty common result of that combination of desires, it lets you indulge in the fantasy without feeling so guilty about it, so you can enjoy it all the way

One thing that may not be all that obvious is that even a lot of the chubby/plump/fat people with gaining desires go through the same struggle, because they are as big as they are willing to be, even if they are not actually thin. So in that regard, there are probably quite a few people here who share your situationóand Iím certainly one of them. Since at least puberty Iíve wanted to be fat, and while Iíve occasionally indulged myself in a spot of gaining mostly Iíve fought that desire. Iím not thin, but not nearly as fat as I would like to be or as I could easily be (I gain easily). Everyone is different , but for me after spending about thirty years dancing back and forth between these conflicting desires Iíve gotten pretty comfortable with the fact that Iím always going to be pulled both ways, and that I Ďsimplyí need to balance the two desires in the way that works out best for me.

Iíve talked with a lot of other people with these conflicting desires, and how theyíve handled them vary a lot. Some have always stayed thin but never gotten over those fantasies of being fattened up. Some have done like me and become a compromise weight. Some have gained a lot at some point in their lives, but later lost all or at least most of it, sort of alternating between which desire they were following. I donít think Iíve ever talked to someone who had that desire to gain who ever got over it entirely, but then again if they have they probably arenít hanging around Dimensions and similar places, so who knows? Still, Iíd go forward with the thought in your mind that youíll probably always feel that desire, you canít just make it go away (although you can probably get better at ignoring it).

One possible thought: if you think that it may be associated with a submissive side in yourself, you might try experimenting with other dominance/submission play, and see if it partially scratches that itch?
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2011, 11:26 AM   #4
BigWarmMan
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Hollywood, USA
Posts: 90
BigWarmMan can now change their title
Cool

Everything Tad said seems spot on to me. I can only add a couple of things that might help.

First of all, you can't really choose what turns you on, unfortunately. Most of our psychosexual quirks and desires are shaped in our pre-pubertal development, often by influences not directly associated with sex. Many kinks are like this. You can govern how you act upon your desires by choosing how much to indulge them or not. In cases where the kink can have undesirable repercussions, fantasy can be a healthy way to cope.

Kinks also seem to develop in opposition to certain dominant personality issues. For instance, it is not unusual for people who are ultra-responsible, dominant alpha types in daily life to yearn to be the bottom/sub in a BDSM relationship. Hence the cliche of lords and businessmen who love to be spanked. It's a healthy, balancing response to whatever pressures our primary psychological mode puts on us. In a culture that is paranoid about weight and idealizes Biafran thin-ness, it is not difficult to see our feedee/weight-gain kink as a compensatory reaction.

With weight-gain/ feedee desires, there may also be a biological basis for your feelings. Evolution may have programmed us to procreate more in times of plenty than in famine. When our bodies have plenty of calories available, they may be tuning up the volume on our mating urges. Our weight gain fantasies may be a biological mandate, at least in part.

Demystifying your kink can decrease it's hold on you, I think. Learning about it, indulging in fantasies without self-recrimination can help keep your desires manageable. With weight gain, you may be able to indulge for real, without serious or even lasting consequences, just by giving yourself permission to gain a few pounds. You can diet them off when you want to, but realizing the world won't end and everyone worthwhile will still love you (frankly, many won't likely even notice) if you show up with a bit of a muffin-top and love handles, can be very freeing.
__________________
"In 900 years of all Time and Space, I've never met an unimportant person..."
BigWarmMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2011, 10:50 AM   #5
karcass
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
karcass has said some nice things
Default

thank you guys a lot. That helps. I want it to go away but I'm learning to cope with it. I would love to hear anything else anyone has to say about this.
karcass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2011, 10:52 AM   #6
BigCutieMeg
 
BigCutieMeg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 162
BigCutieMeg can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesBigCutieMeg can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

Dont worry its cool, some men drool over us gaining weight for them hun..
BigCutieMeg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2011, 10:39 AM   #7
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,529
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigWarmMan View Post
Demystifying your kink can decrease it's hold on you, I think. Learning about it, indulging in fantasies without self-recrimination can help keep your desires manageable.
Good point. If you have a fairly private computer, perhaps actually write out some of your fantasies? Sometimes it can be hard to get a thought out of your head when you are dealing with it in parts, but once you manage to put it all together it can be easier to get past it.

On another note, it does sound like you are still struggling with body confidence, and there is a lot written in man places on how to work on that. There are some threads here (mostly in the BBW forum, but the ideas probably translate well enough), and there is certainly lots else out there. Learning to love your body as it is--little bit of tummy and all-- might help to reduce the appeal of the forced gain fantasies?

Good luck!
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2011, 02:58 PM   #8
Azrael
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 131
Azrael does more than just post hot picsAzrael does more than just post hot picsAzrael does more than just post hot picsAzrael does more than just post hot pics
Default

Story time huh?
My issue is somewhat different but I don't want it as well.

I'm an FA but I don't want to be one.

I don't want to be because the women that *I* am really interested in I am not interested in.

Just to clarify, I'm attracted to women that are really big BUT I don't want to and would much rather be attracted to big or chubby women or nothing at all.

Besides this, I don't want a sexuality, period. If I could choose what I'd want I'd choose nothing and be done with it. I don't like the fact that I'm sexually attracted to anything.

I see it as a distraction to the more important parts of life and something that just gets in the way. Besides this, there's always a nagging shame assosciated with it which makes me feel "lowly".

However since I have realized that I can't get rid of it I have to live with it. I have to live with the distraction and make compromises here and there to deal with it since surpression is not only unhealthy but can't really be done.

That being said, it is not surprising that the combination of these things make me an outright closet case who tries to ignore his sexuality.
Azrael is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2011, 09:38 AM   #9
Webmaster
Chief Emeritus
 
Webmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Knoxville, TN area
Posts: 2
Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

A wise friend and mentor of mine once said, "taste isn't democratic," i.e. we have little or no influence over what turns us on. We can like or dislike a sexual turn-on, mentally argue against it, try to ignore it, but usually without any result.

That said, I do think there is a difference between what one might call primary sexual orientations and subsidiary ones. For example, if someone has a basic submissive desire, then seemingly unrelated sexual sub-genres might become turn-ons. Interest in such related fantasies, if pursued, can become more intense, but they can also go away again as a person reverts to their basic core orientation. Primary sexual desires and fantasies, on the other hand, rarely change.

From that perspective, if a fantasy of wanting to be fat is a core fantasy and basic orientation, then it is not likely going to go away. As Tad pointed out, pursuing it then becomes a matter of degree. Some people can have even strong fantasy desires without ever acting on them in real life. Others feel a much more urgent and persistent need to make it, or part of it, real.

In the long run, it is much more pleasant to be true to yourself rather than always having something to hide, not being able to share with your loved one, and always feeling torn. However, the decision on how to proceed is different for everyone, as is the compromise between fantasy and reality that we all need to make.
Webmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-04-2011, 04:05 PM   #10
Sweetie
Where is the Love?
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 2,482
Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweetie has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Webmaster View Post
A wise friend and mentor of mine once said, "taste isn't democratic," i.e. we have little or no influence over what turns us on. We can like or dislike a sexual turn-on, mentally argue against it, try to ignore it, but usually without any result.

That said, I do think there is a difference between what one might call primary sexual orientations and subsidiary ones. For example, if someone has a basic submissive desire, then seemingly unrelated sexual sub-genres might become turn-ons. Interest in such related fantasies, if pursued, can become more intense, but they can also go away again as a person reverts to their basic core orientation. Primary sexual desires and fantasies, on the other hand, rarely change.

From that perspective, if a fantasy of wanting to be fat is a core fantasy and basic orientation, then it is not likely going to go away. As Tad pointed out, pursuing it then becomes a matter of degree. Some people can have even strong fantasy desires without ever acting on them in real life. Others feel a much more urgent and persistent need to make it, or part of it, real.

In the long run, it is much more pleasant to be true to yourself rather than always having something to hide, not being able to share with your loved one, and always feeling torn. However, the decision on how to proceed is different for everyone, as is the compromise between fantasy and reality that we all need to make.
Thank you so much for this response. My partner and I were having such a problem dealing with the whys of what we need and this helped put things in a positive perspective ... one of acceptance. I love that ... ACCEPTANCE. Its a wonderful thing.
__________________
I'm too tired to fight anymore. Stick a fork in me cause I'm done.
Sweetie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2011, 12:39 AM   #11
Sydney Vicious
 
Sydney Vicious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 321
Sydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized rep
Default

I'm 20 and I'm fat.
I'm also completely in love with myself.

I grew up in two houses, and thank all of the gods and goddesses for that. It made me a stronger and more diverse person.
At my mom's house, I was raised with love and support from my mom and my stepdad. If I was happy with my looks/decisions/beliefs, so were they. I was shown patience and kindness, even when I was a teen and acting like a little shit <3 (thanks, mom!).
At my dad's, however, it was not so shiney. My stepmother, an opinionated conservative from Ohio, spent as much time as it seemed possible telling me I'd never be happy because I'm fat. She just loved to buy me clothes a size too small to try to get me to lose weight, and to buy me 'weight management' shakes and crap.
High school was kind of shit, but really it is for everybody.
I'm lucky enough to have met a group of friends and a man who, like my mom, reminded me I'm beautiful regardless : ).

I'm a new webmodel for BigCuties, and I'm in love with me.
__________________
Locals only bars. ONLY Locals only bars.
Sydney Vicious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2011, 02:40 AM   #12
dudley100
 
dudley100's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 76
dudley100 can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney Vicious View Post
I'm 20 and I'm fat.
I'm also completely in love with myself.

I grew up in two houses, and thank all of the gods and goddesses for that. It made me a stronger and more diverse person.
At my mom's house, I was raised with love and support from my mom and my stepdad. If I was happy with my looks/decisions/beliefs, so were they. I was shown patience and kindness, even when I was a teen and acting like a little shit <3 (thanks, mom!).
At my dad's, however, it was not so shiney. My stepmother, an opinionated conservative from Ohio, spent as much time as it seemed possible telling me I'd never be happy because I'm fat. She just loved to buy me clothes a size too small to try to get me to lose weight, and to buy me 'weight management' shakes and crap.
High school was kind of shit, but really it is for everybody.
I'm lucky enough to have met a group of friends and a man who, like my mom, reminded me I'm beautiful regardless : ).

I'm a new webmodel for BigCuties, and I'm in love with me.
It's important to love yourself and not let others hold you back. This shows you're a strong person. A lot of people should gain confidence from your opinions.
dudley100 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-07-2011, 05:12 PM   #13
Sydney Vicious
 
Sydney Vicious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 321
Sydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized repSydney Vicious has super-sized rep
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dudley100 View Post
It's important to love yourself and not let others hold you back. This shows you're a strong person. A lot of people should gain confidence from your opinions.
Thanks!
I'm pretty loud about letting my friends (regardless of size or shape) know that they are GORGEOUS, my chubby friends love me most b.c I know where to get cute clothes in real woman sizes hehehehe.
__________________
Locals only bars. ONLY Locals only bars.
Sydney Vicious is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:45 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.