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Old 02-22-2011, 08:48 PM   #1
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Question Real Gainers vs. Deceptive Fantasizers

I've learned a lot since being a member here. A lot of that knowlege is in the form of distinguishing the real gainer/feedees I'm looking for from the guys who just have the fantasy. I have no problem with either, but I'm really getting tired of guys telling me they are the feedee of my dreams only to find out they're really just pretending.

I understand that a lot of feedees here have never had real belly rubs. It's hard to find feeders in the first place, and even harder to find the right one. But capitalizing on a lack of practical experience is just not the way to go. Allow me to illistrate.

I was chatting with a guy not long ago who didn't know his measurement, had no size goal and got lost in conversation when I started into the fetish stuff. In fact, when I asked his how big he was, he restated his weight. TWICE. I realize that not all gainers are into measuring, but this guy didn't even tell me what size clothes he wanted to fit in, reactions from other people, the way it feels, stretchmarks, etc. He didn't have to slightest realistic quality about him. If he wanted me to admire his body, wouldn't he at least tell me where he carried most of his weight? Oh, he never posted pics online, hence my inquiry. All he told me was that he never had his belly rubbed and didn't know what it felt like, he liked to eat a lot but didn't go into any detail of what food, how it makes him feel, sensations, etc., and that he liked how he looked in the mirror. He never pointed out his favorite parts (like rolls, stretchmarks, double chin, that kind of thing) nor did he mention anything he wanted to improve (bigger strecthmarks, larger capacity for food, increase size of particular area like belly or ass).

I also asked him how much he can eat and if he had a goal for stuffing (again, not all of them do, but I was trying to make conversation). This is where he got completely lost. It was a very straightforward question, but he had no answer. AT ALL. As in, he didn't even bother to say stuffing wasn't his thing. When I asked about his eating goal, he ignored the question in similar fashion. He didn't say a word about his favorite foods, if he likes to cook, if he likes to eat vs being fed or both, NOTHING of that nature. He just kept repeating things about how big he was and how sexy it made him feel, asking what a belly rub feels like, etc. This led me to conclude that he just wanted me to jump to the touchy feely part so he could jerk off. There was a definate eagerness in his vibe...like he assumed everyone was there for the same thing.

This is just the most recent of a very common experience. When I chat with so-called feedees, it doesn't take long to figure them out. What I don't get it why they would call themselves real feedes or actual gainers if they have no intention of doing so. I could share a fantasy easy--I have several I return to in those private moments. And I understand how fantasy-driven this whole community is (artwork, stories and morphed photos are easy to find). They call us "FAs" for a reason, right? But the deception factor here is really starting to piss me off. If a guy just said he never met a feeder but doesn't want to gain, I could chat with him. Although he doesn't practice we share a common interest. But telling me one thing and doing another is a whole different animal.

I've found that Fat Admiration is really more of a lifestyle than just a pornographic moment. Too many people (men and women alike) exclusively see his community as an easy way to get laid (real or cyber). The same can be said about any fetish oriented community. But in this case, since it is more of a lifestyle, I think it is important to know the difference between a person who is really doing it versus a person who is "there-and-gone," so to speak.

So, my question to the group is this. Well, these. First, have you had this or a similar experience? What do you do when you find yourself in this postion? And how do you relate (gainer, FA, fantasizer, etc.)? I can't be the only one who sees something amiss here.
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Old 02-23-2011, 12:48 PM   #2
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My only question is why does it bother you? Some people are only into the fantasy while others want it to be real, so instead of wasting your time with the fantasies why don't you go out and meet a real one?
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Old 02-23-2011, 02:21 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by KHayes666 View Post
My only question is why does it bother you? Some people are only into the fantasy while others want it to be real, so instead of wasting your time with the fantasies why don't you go out and meet a real one?
Why don't you give her your magic wand so she can separate the real from the fake. Since most people don't wear t-shirts that say "GAINER IRL" or "I'm just a FAKER" on it, that magic wand is more important than you'll ever know.
I think she clearly stated that there are people who are playing at it and they aren't honest about it. I am assuming that they don't usually say, "Hey, I'm just playing at this whole feeding thing, so don't waste your time with me if you are looking for the real thing."
I'm guessing that if the OP got that, this post wouldn't exist.
Unless you saying that it is the OP's fault that the people she chats with are not forthcoming with their intentions? Strange.

In response to the OP. There are a lot of liars and fakes and more than a few wannabe's that will never be. We have all met people who are not what they claim. There isn't much defense in meeting them if you remain an open person. You can only use your experience to identify these fakers and move on as quickly as possible with little or no personal investment. Hopefully, it will not make you gun shy in meeting the next one that comes along.
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Old 02-23-2011, 02:55 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by vardon_grip View Post
Why don't you give her your magic wand so she can separate the real from the fake. Since most people don't wear t-shirts that say "GAINER IRL" or "I'm just a FAKER" on it, that magic wand is more important than you'll ever know.
I think she clearly stated that there are people who are playing at it and they aren't honest about it. I am assuming that they don't usually say, "Hey, I'm just playing at this whole feeding thing, so don't waste your time with me if you are looking for the real thing."
I'm guessing that if the OP got that, this post wouldn't exist.
Unless you saying that it is the OP's fault that the people she chats with are not forthcoming with their intentions? Strange.

In response to the OP. There are a lot of liars and fakes and more than a few wannabe's that will never be. We have all met people who are not what they claim. There isn't much defense in meeting them if you remain an open person. You can only use your experience to identify these fakers and move on as quickly as possible with little or no personal investment. Hopefully, it will not make you gun shy in meeting the next one that comes along.
Ah yes, Sir Vardon Grip of the white knights. About time you showed up too.


I'll explain it so even you can understand Vardon. Exhibit A I'll name Murray because Bill Murray's currently on my TV saying he wants to take a big swing at Sgt Hulka. Anyway, Murray has posted how he "loves gaining" yet in 6 months on a website he looks exactly the same and has no forum posts describing what its like to be fed, no weight gain comparison pictures, no posts about clothes sizes....think its pretty easy to see something's not right.

Then we got Exhibit B we'll call Stoudamire because I'm typing out my editorial on our worthless competition in the Eastern Conference. Stoudamire has been on the same website for even longer and has clearly gained about 100 pounds since first joining the website. He has pictures in various threads showing the gain and posts on the forums how his clothes have changed and how his lifestyle is. Its very clear that this guy is for real.

Now obviously in a lot of cases it isn't as clear cut but the point remains. With various sites that display all sorts of pictures, profiles and marginal resources its very easy to spot who's a fake and who's for real. Now if the OP is meeting a total stranger, for the first time ever you and I are in total agreement in saying there really is no defense to finding out if someone's fake or not unless you spend time with that person.

Now where'd I put my magic wand? If my friend used it as a plunger I'm turning her into an Imp as soon as I wash it off.
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Old 02-23-2011, 10:43 PM   #5
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I think the beest thing to do is make your intentions very clear from the start.. tell the guy in question that you're looking to talk to a real feedee (and honestly, it probably wouldn't hurt to be honest about whether you're eventually looking for an IRL thing or just an online thing or what) .. if you're specific and make it clear you're not interested in talking to people who don't fit that, i think you'll weed out a lot of fakes. My other suggestion is to immediately end it when you can tell someone is faking.. why bother dragging the conversation on if they're not what you're looking for in whatever way. Would you continue chatting someone up at a bar if you found out they were married? or gay? Or whatever. Probably not. The reality is that "dating" (and I'm using this term loosely to incorporate anything from a casual cyber session to finding a wife/husband IRL) is a process.. you have to weed people out and dig and dig and dig until you find the one you're looking for.
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Old 02-24-2011, 08:17 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by blubberismanly View Post
I've learned a lot since being a member here. A lot of that knowlege is in the form of distinguishing the real gainer/feedees I'm looking for from the guys who just have the fantasy. I have no problem with either, but I'm really getting tired of guys telling me they are the feedee of my dreams only to find out they're really just pretending.....
I think you're having very high expectations here. Essentially, you complain that there are people who seem to share a fantasy, but then don't pass muster and don't know the drill. I think that is a bit unrealistic. After all, fantasies are a highly personal matter that many people feel reluctant to talk about or share, and not a college course. So demanding people have passed Feedee 101 (or whatever fantasy) before they are fit to talk to you is probably a bit off.

So perhaps a more compassionate approach is advisable. If there is no good match, well, that happens all the time. But if someone simply needs help and a bit of guidance in exploring a fantasy, I'd afford that before accusing people of deceiving you and all.
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:58 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by blubberismanly View Post
I've learned a lot since being a member here. A lot of that knowlege is in the form of distinguishing the real gainer/feedees I'm looking for from the guys who just have the fantasy. I have no problem with either, but I'm really getting tired of guys telling me they are the feedee of my dreams only to find out they're really just pretending.

*snip*

So, my question to the group is this. Well, these. First, have you had this or a similar experience? What do you do when you find yourself in this postion? And how do you relate (gainer, FA, fantasizer, etc.)? I can't be the only one who sees something amiss here.
^Without getting too much into detail, it seems that YOU are looking for a "lifestyle" feedee, someone who really, really wants to walk the talk and who wants to GAIN in real-life.

There are feedees out there for whom, being fed, eating, stuffing, gaining is the hottest thing evAR, but who just do NOT want to do it for realz. And some of them don't know that, until AFTER they've met a feeder and tried it.

I know, I met and spent an excellent weekend with one such girl. She couldn't get enough of it, and it most emphatically WAS her sexuality. To the point that the power of her desires, contrasted with how she phsyically felt outside the bedroom - being even a little (+20lbs or so*) heavier than normal - freaked her out and she decided to shut down the whole RL aspect of it and all contact with me (cos I'm just such a tempting incubus, natch ) and lose weight. Basically she loved the fantasy, but the RL practicality of gaining scared her.

No doubt you are talking / meeting guy feedees some of whom are like this.

(*she had gained some over one Xmas and was "going with the flow")
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Old 03-14-2011, 02:28 PM   #8
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^Without getting too much into detail, it seems that YOU are looking for a "lifestyle" feedee, someone who really, really wants to walk the talk and who wants to GAIN in real-life.

There are feedees out there for whom, being fed, eating, stuffing, gaining is the hottest thing evAR, but who just do NOT want to do it for realz. And some of them don't know that, until AFTER they've met a feeder and tried it.

I know, I met and spent an excellent weekend with one such girl. She couldn't get enough of it, and it most emphatically WAS her sexuality. To the point that the power of her desires, contrasted with how she phsyically felt outside the bedroom - being even a little (+20lbs or so*) heavier than normal - freaked her out and she decided to shut down the whole RL aspect of it and all contact with me (cos I'm just such a tempting incubus, natch ) and lose weight. Basically she loved the fantasy, but the RL practicality of gaining scared her.

No doubt you are talking / meeting guy feedees some of whom are like this.

(*she had gained some over one Xmas and was "going with the flow")

Jos, You are a man of great insight!! I couldn't agree with you more!! I spent my whole life trying to lose weight (I know, isn't it sad?) and that was for 33 yrs!! Then I met a FA who took forever to tell me his preferences (cause he has no more control over what he finds arousing then I do lol) and I wasn't offended or anything, I just didn't know what to think of it...I was just happy he wasn't into peeing on me or anything like that lol....but when he worked up the courage to ask to feed me, though it was awkward at first (it took a bit to ease into it comfortably), but I tried it for him, what could it hurt? AND I LOVED IT!!

Don't get me wrong, I am not into stuffing, but I love it when he feeds me, and rubs my belly telling me how sexy it is that I eat and how each pound is more to hold onto and enjoy..ect, all good things any girl (I am projecting please don't get mad anyone lol) would love...supportive things that made me feel beautiful and finally see myself as such, beautiful AND fat instead of beautiful dispite being fat....Big Difference! And when I realized that, and how much he enjoyed watching me eat and feeding me, did I discover how arousing the activity was and how I can't wait to do it again. So, before you just jump ship if a girl/guy isn't into it, give it a little time and if it isn't something that is what you are looking for then move on, but you may find a feedee in someone who didn't know she was one before you!
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Old 03-15-2011, 06:42 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by blubberismanly View Post
I've learned a lot since being a member here. A lot of that knowlege is in the form of distinguishing the real gainer/feedees I'm looking for from the guys who just have the fantasy. I have no problem with either, but I'm really getting tired of guys telling me they are the feedee of my dreams only to find out they're really just pretending.

I understand that a lot of feedees here have never had real belly rubs. It's hard to find feeders in the first place, and even harder to find the right one. But capitalizing on a lack of practical experience is just not the way to go. Allow me to illistrate.

I was chatting with a guy not long ago who didn't know his measurement, had no size goal and got lost in conversation when I started into the fetish stuff. In fact, when I asked his how big he was, he restated his weight. TWICE. I realize that not all gainers are into measuring, but this guy didn't even tell me what size clothes he wanted to fit in, reactions from other people, the way it feels, stretchmarks, etc. He didn't have to slightest realistic quality about him. If he wanted me to admire his body, wouldn't he at least tell me where he carried most of his weight? Oh, he never posted pics online, hence my inquiry. All he told me was that he never had his belly rubbed and didn't know what it felt like, he liked to eat a lot but didn't go into any detail of what food, how it makes him feel, sensations, etc., and that he liked how he looked in the mirror. He never pointed out his favorite parts (like rolls, stretchmarks, double chin, that kind of thing) nor did he mention anything he wanted to improve (bigger strecthmarks, larger capacity for food, increase size of particular area like belly or ass).

I also asked him how much he can eat and if he had a goal for stuffing (again, not all of them do, but I was trying to make conversation). This is where he got completely lost. It was a very straightforward question, but he had no answer. AT ALL. As in, he didn't even bother to say stuffing wasn't his thing. When I asked about his eating goal, he ignored the question in similar fashion. He didn't say a word about his favorite foods, if he likes to cook, if he likes to eat vs being fed or both, NOTHING of that nature. He just kept repeating things about how big he was and how sexy it made him feel, asking what a belly rub feels like, etc. This led me to conclude that he just wanted me to jump to the touchy feely part so he could jerk off. There was a definate eagerness in his vibe...like he assumed everyone was there for the same thing.

This is just the most recent of a very common experience. When I chat with so-called feedees, it doesn't take long to figure them out. What I don't get it why they would call themselves real feedes or actual gainers if they have no intention of doing so. I could share a fantasy easy--I have several I return to in those private moments. And I understand how fantasy-driven this whole community is (artwork, stories and morphed photos are easy to find). They call us "FAs" for a reason, right? But the deception factor here is really starting to piss me off. If a guy just said he never met a feeder but doesn't want to gain, I could chat with him. Although he doesn't practice we share a common interest. But telling me one thing and doing another is a whole different animal.

I've found that Fat Admiration is really more of a lifestyle than just a pornographic moment. Too many people (men and women alike) exclusively see his community as an easy way to get laid (real or cyber). The same can be said about any fetish oriented community. But in this case, since it is more of a lifestyle, I think it is important to know the difference between a person who is really doing it versus a person who is "there-and-gone," so to speak.

So, my question to the group is this. Well, these. First, have you had this or a similar experience? What do you do when you find yourself in this postion? And how do you relate (gainer, FA, fantasizer, etc.)? I can't be the only one who sees something amiss here.
I never experienced being a feedee in that way. The thought of growing and getting fatter turns me on. It never occurred to me to measure or compare or set a goal. All I knew was my belly was flopping a little heavier this year than last and my thighs are fierce. I stand in the mirror purring and satisfied at my handy work and all of a sudden professor ding bat runs over with his measuring tape getting all nerdy and intense and killing the mood. What you describe is the number 1 reason I went out of my way to avoid feeders for years. They all seemed driven by the details: How much, how long, how big, what number, how many, who happened by. And if I didn't answer fast enough or wasn't well versed in every detail the thumb sucking would start.... some mess about how I might be using or taking advantage of them. What, prey tell, would I be doing that for? Like people would go to all this trouble simply to be able to say, "Wooo, looka me! I'm dating Maurice Jefferson under false pretenses!" Nobody is trying to take anything from you. Unless of course you have something, then I might be persuaded if the effort proves untaxing.

When it comes to gaining I'm just sitting back and enjoying the ride. It never occurred to me to set a goal, it's really not that serious. The interrogation totally kills it for me and for a long time I let people ride rough shod over me making me feel like shit because I wasn't a numbers geek. Go ahead and get your puny little measures but as soon as you're thru I'm going to knock you to the bed with the force of my wobbly ass, press all my weight into you and make you feel *real* small. Then I'm going to threaten you with further weight gain while making you feed me cupcakes.

The guy you spoke with may well have been just some lonely guy who wants to be loved but maybe not. I just wanted to point out that not everybody wants to sit up talking about their arm and belly circumference all afternoon. He probably expereinces it differently than you do and you went all 'scary feeder' on him. I was shy and timid when I first came out too and found feeders to be some scary dudes. It made me doubt myself but you know what, screw that, I know who I am. Talking about numbers and portion sizes gets boring real fast. It's a rare bird who will dislocate their own shoulder trying to measure 82 inches around their hips. Not everyone expresses it this way.
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