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Old 05-24-2011, 02:27 AM   #1
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Default Was sex ever "difficult" for you?

Did the nuances of sex come easy to you or did it take significant practice before you felt comfortable with what you bring to the table as a partner?
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Old 05-24-2011, 07:15 AM   #2
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From a guy's POV, sex has always been difficult, not because of my size (I'm tall and big) but because I waited until I knew it would be the best when I'd had it, needless to say I bought a fleshlight before I ever had sex, and I'm pretty unhappy I did, stupid advertisements...Height seems to be a big factor in why I was so unsuccessful.
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Old 05-24-2011, 07:27 PM   #3
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Did the nuances of sex come easy to you or did it take significant practice before you felt comfortable with what you bring to the table as a partner?
It depends on the partner. The emotional and physical aspects of having sex have needed different focus at times, but overall, I've been comfortable with it.

And with sex, practice makes perfect, so I'm happy to practice a lot.
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Old 05-24-2011, 07:44 PM   #4
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My first time ever I took to it like a fish to water to such a degree that when we were done, he said to me, 'Jesus, I never knew. It was like an epiphany!' and we both burst out laughing. That still makes me laugh. I also have a tendency to prance around nude without any self-consciousness so that makes it less awkward anyway.

I did a lot of sexual stuff when I was a kid but I didn't do the deed until I was in my twenties. I was a real geek/nerd and I read everything about sex I could get my hands on (heh) so by the time I met that first lucky guy I was SO READY.

And yes, practice make perfect. Right now I'm a little rusty but I'm hoping it's like riding a bicycle. Once you learn you never forget. Crossing my fingers anyway. LOL
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Old 05-24-2011, 08:02 PM   #5
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I took to it very, very well. I'd only done certain sexual acts before actual vaginal. Waited 'til 18 for that particular act. And the first time, wasn't so good. I wish the second person had been the first, I probably would have enjoyed it so much more.

It really depends on the partner. I mean, I've had times where the other person really enjoyed it, but I was kind of just empty inside at the moment. There have been very, very few people that made it very, very enjoyable.
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Old 05-25-2011, 04:45 AM   #6
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From a guy's POV, sex has always been difficult, not because of my size (I'm tall and big) but because I waited until I knew it would be the best when I'd had it, needless to say I bought a fleshlight before I ever had sex, and I'm pretty unhappy I did, stupid advertisements...Height seems to be a big factor in why I was so unsuccessful.
So, just curious....I'm 5'10" and have seldom ever been with a boy taller than me...so...how tall are the women you date? I had a friend who play pro football and then retired..he was 6'6" and like 300 all muscle...but, he liked hmm..what Patti on Millionaires club refers to as spinners...lol Little tiny petite girls who are like 5'2" and 100 lbs and I always wondered..
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Old 05-25-2011, 06:01 AM   #7
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This thread makes me realise how in denial I am... I kind of suck at sex. Didn't want to admit it before, because who wants to? But yep, I suck. Don't get me wrong, everything surrounding sex has been exceptional for me - the foreplay, the psychology, all the little warm-up acts - but penetration has never really worked out. I can't go on top because my knees are fucked, and pretty much every other way has always had non-verbal complaints that I could sense.

I love sex, so it's shit to think about. And even more stupidly, I care what people will think of me for it.
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Old 05-25-2011, 12:49 PM   #8
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This thread makes me realise how in denial I am... I kind of suck at sex. Didn't want to admit it before, because who wants to? But yep, I suck. Don't get me wrong, everything surrounding sex has been exceptional for me - the foreplay, the psychology, all the little warm-up acts - but has never really worked out. I can't go on top because my knees are fucked, and pretty much every other way has always had non-verbal complaints that I could sense.

I love sex, so it's shit to think about. And even more stupidly, I care what people will think of me for it.
I think you may be worrying to much about it. I used to focus on the stuff i was less confident with but in the end its never that big of deal. Stick to what your awsome at and the rest will sort its self out. Penetration aint that big of a deal (no pun intended) or at least in my opinion its not.
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Old 05-26-2011, 08:03 AM   #9
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Can there be male spinners?
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Old 05-26-2011, 09:25 AM   #10
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Sex has always been logistically awkward for me the first time. Height differences, angles, comfortable positions, etc. It takes practice for me and a partner to really get used to each other and find something that's a win for both of us. It is one of the reasons I don't like one night stands. They're pretty much a waste of time for me.
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Old 05-26-2011, 03:39 PM   #11
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Can there be male spinners?
Hmm...yes....male to male sex...or female with strap on....
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Old 05-26-2011, 04:37 PM   #12
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I've been having this discussion on and off lately - and I think that sex in general is a learning curve. I've always found it that way. I know what I'm doing with me, what I can do, what I can't etc... but as soon as you mix in another person on either side (hahah, sounds like one on each side!) then you're dealing with height and reach and access and what they're used to and what they like and what you like.

It's not like a porn movie where everyone just fucks and it's all moany and great and wonderful and you're a hot sex monkey. But you know what, I'd sort of hate that to a point. It's not FUN if it's not comfortable and experimental and taken to with some amount of sexy problem solving. When you get to the hot, sexy, moany sex monkey part - GREAT.

So, I guess I think if you like the person you're screwing around with and want to learn with them, teach them, have them teach you - then you're on the right track and only good things can come from it.

Communication and a sense of humor are key.

Worst sex I ever had was a guy who was convinced he was THE BEST oral partner ever, so he did what he "knew was right", and it wasn't good for me at all. I've never had issues before other than "slower/faster, higher" stuff... so I gave my 2 cents... he ignored it and basically told me that "it works for everyone else, so it's something about you" - DICK. Plus turns out he was anti-Semitic, but that's another part of the story.


I'll take engaged, curious, adventurous, still learning any day over that "I'm a love God" bullshit.
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Old 05-26-2011, 06:02 PM   #13
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I've been having this discussion on and off lately - and I think that sex in general is a learning curve. I've always found it that way. I know what I'm doing with me, what I can do, what I can't etc... but as soon as you mix in another person on either side (hahah, sounds like one on each side!) then you're dealing with height and reach and access and what they're used to and what they like and what you like.

It's not like a porn movie where everyone just fucks and it's all moany and great and wonderful and you're a hot sex monkey. But you know what, I'd sort of hate that to a point. It's not FUN if it's not comfortable and experimental and taken to with some amount of sexy problem solving. When you get to the hot, sexy, moany sex monkey part - GREAT.

So, I guess I think if you like the person you're screwing around with and want to learn with them, teach them, have them teach you - then you're on the right track and only good things can come from it.

Communication and a sense of humor are key.

Worst sex I ever had was a guy who was convinced he was THE BEST oral partner ever, so he did what he "knew was right", and it wasn't good for me at all. I've never had issues before other than "slower/faster, higher" stuff... so I gave my 2 cents... he ignored it and basically told me that "it works for everyone else, so it's something about you" - DICK. Plus turns out he was anti-Semitic, but that's another part of the story.


I'll take engaged, curious, adventurous, still learning any day over that "I'm a love God" bullshit.

I'm with you. For most men (aty least for me) it's all about pleasing your partner. Men are easy to please so I take that as a given. If you really care about the person you're with and that goes for both dating and sex because it's so personal, you'd think pleasing your partner even if its a challenge (and who doesn't like a challenge?) would be paramount. With all that said if the guy was/is an anti semite I'd call him a putz and probably an uncircumsized one at that. If, on the other hand he really is an anti semite and has already been circumsized I'd be willing to have him go through it again, just to make sure it was done correctly
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Old 05-27-2011, 01:27 PM   #14
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So, just curious....I'm 5'10" and have seldom ever been with a boy taller than me...so...how tall are the women you date? I had a friend who play pro football and then retired..he was 6'6" and like 300 all muscle...but, he liked hmm..what Patti on Millionaires club refers to as spinners...lol Little tiny petite girls who are like 5'2" and 100 lbs and I always wondered..
I typically date women between 4'11 and 5'6, I've dated a few women about 6'5 but never amounted to anything sexually.
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Old 05-27-2011, 01:28 PM   #15
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Nope!


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Old 05-28-2011, 12:46 PM   #16
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I have been reading the thread and my problem is more a shy one. I started looking on the internet to see if I could find a way to change my situation. Our sex life is to me very boring.... I try my hardest to please my wife, learning different thing to please her. She was 460 but now is 330. I do to her foreplay and I ask to do oral, I have always thought that if you put a 100% in you get a 100% out....... my problem is we do the same thing over and over. Foreplay then when she is ready I am on top. Some times she will let me do some oral but usually it is the same old same old. My shyness comes in that I don't know how to ask her to or if she can do other position. I know some things are hard or to unconvertible but ....... ?I look on the net to find ways for larger women or just even advice. Maybe I just looking for some advise? I know it dosn't help that she is 5'5 -330 and I am 6'5 -225. Is she just not wanting to participate or is it she is having a problem participating????
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Old 05-28-2011, 04:22 PM   #17
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You really need to ask her the last question yourself. That's not something we can help you with. How she feels about your sex life is something only she knows. I'm not sure why you feel so shy about your sex life. You are married. Being scared of asking your life's partner questions is really no way to go through life.
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Old 05-28-2011, 04:22 PM   #18
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nope. not once ever. not even if the guy wasn't that big etc... because if both really want it anything can be worked out physically. maybe its not the sex thats the problem but the emotional relationship. sex happens in the brain. so maybe you need to work on connecting as a couple and as people more so than just positions to keep the spark going. if you're that nervous about being together then you haven't taken the time you need to actually get to know each other enough. otherwise don't even expect good sex and you won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
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Old 05-30-2011, 07:56 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by AmazingAmy View Post
This thread makes me realise how in denial I am... I kind of suck at sex. Didn't want to admit it before, because who wants to? But yep, I suck. Don't get me wrong, everything surrounding sex has been exceptional for me - the foreplay, the psychology, all the little warm-up acts - but penetration has never really worked out. I can't go on top because my knees are fucked, and pretty much every other way has always had non-verbal complaints that I could sense.

I love sex, so it's shit to think about. And even more stupidly, I care what people will think of me for it.
Amy,
I know it's easy to comment and hard to live it. Maybe just for once, you might try to absolutely not care "what would THEY think of you" and just enjoy it. And don't be shy to say what you want. Tell him you want this and that to do at the very moment. You are the princess and he is to make you happy, not the opposite. Plus for us, men, the biggest satisfaction in sex is, when the woman enjoys it as much as possible and if we are able to fill in all her wishes!
As it's hard to change your own thinking, I think a good start would be "do it just for once", maybe you can take it as a "new game". And bad knees is a limitation, but not end of the world.

Maybe you can try the position, when you are laying on your side and your partner sits on your bottom leg while your upper let goes up like a candle (or not that much, it's up to you). He can get very deep and intensive, but it's a dominant position for him, not you.

Being on top, respecting your knees, is possible too: let him sit on the bed (or chair) with his legs on floor. Now you can sit on him, your legs around him (not putting any weight on your knees). On the chair alternative, you can have your legs down too (but would probably not touch floor). Or, a bit more complicated, you can get your legs up in that position.
If he is laying on his back, you still can go on top and sit on him like you would sit on a very small chair - with knees bent up, feet on bed. If he sits instead of lays on his back, he can hold you around your back (like giving you a hug), which gives you a support while you can lean a little back, not having to sit straight, and also getting a deeper penetration.

You seem to be so sweet so I wish at least one of m notes would help you enjoy the bed time much more, and enjoy it for yourself, not to satisfy someone else, as that someone else would only enjoy if you are satisfied, so it's him to worry about you to be satisfied, and his task to do everything to make you enjoy as much as possible!

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Old 05-31-2011, 11:59 AM   #20
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Worst sex I ever had was a guy who was convinced he was THE BEST oral partner ever, so he did what he "knew was right", and it wasn't good for me at all. I've never had issues before other than "slower/faster, higher" stuff... so I gave my 2 cents... he ignored it and basically told me that "it works for everyone else, so it's something about you" - DICK. Plus turns out he was anti-Semitic, but that's another part of the story.
Wow, that is a major douche.
I've been there with another woman, who was supposed to be queen kitty licker, but I tried to explain to her no two clits are alike, and she was being to rough, she said I was just new to having good oral sex.

I think when ego comes into the bedroom, pleasure can sometimes walk out.
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Old 05-31-2011, 02:04 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnMarie View Post
Plus turns out he was anti-Semitic, but that's another part of the story.
.
(maybe he thought your vagina was jewish?)

For me, it's been hit or miss in the sense that either there's a learning curve, or it's good from the get go. I don't think it's about skill or experience or willingness to be creative or any of that; for me, it's been more about body-to-body fit. Some bodies just fit together more easily than others.
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Old 06-01-2011, 09:10 PM   #22
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Sex has been difficult for me at times, but it's never been thanks to anything physical on my part. I end up dating men with bizarre fetishes--no, not just "I'm into fat chicks" or "Please whip me repeatedly whilst I orgasm"--I only wish they were that "normal". When I finally found a man without weird and possibly illegal fetishes (aside from being an FA, which isn't something requiring therapy, really), he ended up having psychological issues which prevented him from participating in anything beyond outercourse. So, I have yet to actually have penetrative sex with anyone. That said, I'm sure I'm significantly messed up in the head myself, so...
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:45 PM   #23
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Default Re: Was sex ever "difficult" for you?

I agree with those who state it is a learning process. When in your teens you're so blasted 'up' for having sex, mistakes are sometimes overlooked until later. Then the learning process begins and it takes awhile before becoming comfortable with one's ability as a lover. Connecting on more than one level, I found is also very important. Interest being high, enabled me to work eagerly through the problems.
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