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Old 07-16-2011, 09:49 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
they've been saying it for ages and every study has supported that. now if we could only finally get people to accept it.
Every study?
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Old 07-16-2011, 11:59 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by DELIMAN092262 View Post

The conclusion was clear. Many women diet, to make themselves more attractive to what they perceive men desire. While the opposite is more accurate.
I will never understand why so many men hold themselves in such super high regard as to assume this is actually the main reason so many women diet. There is a HUGE range of reasons as to why women diet and usually when it reaches the point of wanting to look runway walk-thin the idea of attracting men (or women if she so prefers) usually has very little to do with it.
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Old 07-17-2011, 01:28 AM   #28
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So says the new book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts".
One reviewer had some interesting things to say about the book.

...A quick glance at the book's bibliography shows that the authors have never presented their sexological findings in any scientific forum. The authors' data and conclusions have not been subject to peer review. It's certainly not ordinary science...

...The authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts are not sex experts or even psychologists. They're computational neuroscientists (more later on what that is exactly), interested in applying computer software principles to the human brain and mind....

...Then there are problems with the authors' unique dataset. For instance, we know very little about the individuals that Ogas and Gaddam studied in their large sample of two million people who did internet searches for sexual material. We don't know their ages, their genders, or their sexual orientations. All we have are their mouse clicks.


The reviewer does say that he thinks the data is "compelling" and "a lot that's useful".

I am having a difficult time consolidating the idea that if the authors do not know the gender/age/sexual orientation of the people studied, then how can they make any conclusions about men and women?

Mouse clicks? Internet searches? Computational scientists? Can't say I'm convinced based on one little blurb. If the authors had said that fat people are not desirable, most of the fat world would say that the book is full of shit. Since the book has a favorable outlook on "overweight" women (apparently, fat men are not considered), the response seems to be, "Of course, I knew it all along!" And yet, in my reading of the pages of Dimensions over the years, I don't see any significant change lately in the fat climate. The ups and downs of fat acceptance and fat desire seems to be the same. (Which is not terrific) We always praise the positive science and chastise the negative and all I can think is that one can't be always right and the other always wrong, can it? For me, there are too many questions. The thread title says "Men prefer overweight women.." Does it mean ALL or MOST men prefer overweight women? What does overweight mean? Does it mean 10 lbs or 100 lbs overweight or all of the above? Where is the base for the opinion? Are these people taking their private mouse clicks out into the real world?
I don't we should be breaking our arms patting ourselves on the back just yet. We still have a ways to go.
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Old 07-17-2011, 02:01 AM   #29
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Ya think? I haven't had a date in hmmm...2 years?? (embarrassingly pathetic) Something like that...I see big guys with girls going out alllllll the time. This weekend at the bar...

I have heard women express all my life how much they like big, teddy bear guys...etc...i never meet men who will publicly state they like very large women..

I think it would be easier to meet someone if I was a BHM instead of an BBW/SSBBW hmmm......naw...I like being a girl....nevermind hehehe
There appear to be some real geographical differences when it comes to male FAs acting on their impulses. Guys on the west coast seem to be more open to dating big girls. Is there something about the Midwest that keeps FAs in the closet?
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Old 07-17-2011, 07:19 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by MissAshley View Post
Every study?
EVERY serious study taking it into question since Kinsey
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Old 07-17-2011, 07:21 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by vardon_grip View Post
One reviewer had some interesting things to say about the book.

...A quick glance at the book's bibliography shows that the authors have never presented their sexological findings in any scientific forum. The authors' data and conclusions have not been subject to peer review. It's certainly not ordinary science...

...The authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts are not sex experts or even psychologists. They're computational neuroscientists (more later on what that is exactly), interested in applying computer software principles to the human brain and mind....

...Then there are problems with the authors' unique dataset. For instance, we know very little about the individuals that Ogas and Gaddam studied in their large sample of two million people who did internet searches for sexual material. We don't know their ages, their genders, or their sexual orientations. All we have are their mouse clicks.


The reviewer does say that he thinks the data is "compelling" and "a lot that's useful".

I am having a difficult time consolidating the idea that if the authors do not know the gender/age/sexual orientation of the people studied, then how can they make any conclusions about men and women?

Mouse clicks? Internet searches? Computational scientists? Can't say I'm convinced based on one little blurb. If the authors had said that fat people are not desirable, most of the fat world would say that the book is full of shit. Since the book has a favorable outlook on "overweight" women (apparently, fat men are not considered), the response seems to be, "Of course, I knew it all along!" And yet, in my reading of the pages of Dimensions over the years, I don't see any significant change lately in the fat climate. The ups and downs of fat acceptance and fat desire seems to be the same. (Which is not terrific) We always praise the positive science and chastise the negative and all I can think is that one can't be always right and the other always wrong, can it? For me, there are too many questions. The thread title says "Men prefer overweight women.." Does it mean ALL or MOST men prefer overweight women? What does overweight mean? Does it mean 10 lbs or 100 lbs overweight or all of the above? Where is the base for the opinion? Are these people taking their private mouse clicks out into the real world?
I don't we should be breaking our arms patting ourselves on the back just yet. We still have a ways to go.
good points. people might want to take a look at serious studies and really analyze whats being said instead of just reading the headlines.
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Old 07-17-2011, 08:54 AM   #32
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There appear to be some real geographical differences when it comes to male FAs acting on their impulses. Guys on the west coast seem to be more open to dating big girls. Is there something about the Midwest that keeps FAs in the closet?
I don't know, and I am not sure what your definition of big is? To some people it is a woman who is 50lbs overweight or to some 10 pounds. I'm an SSBBW and I weigh over 400lbs as I stated - I haven't had a date in over 2 years. As I stated previously I never in my life have heard a man publicly state he likes very fat women. I have never been approached or talked to or hit on. No man in my life has ever approached me or asked for my number. And heaven forbid the times I showed interest in some guy - they run away so (because you know..lepersay is contagious lol) never to be heard from again (that always feels soooooo extraordinarily wonderful) I'm intelligent, funny, witty, highly extroverted, warm, love my dogs and other dogs, kind and respectful, dress nicely and have an amazing sense of humor. Of course none of this matters if they cannot get past how you look. I'm a realist ...it is what it is.

What I see are the vast majority of men who like BBW's..but, SSBBW's...not so much. That segment of men who would even give an SSBBW a chance is a very small segment. Again, this is what I have seen and experienced since I was 16. Maybe some other SSBBW from central Ohio has an entirely different experience? So, for arguments sake, from what I have observed for over the last 21 years of my life is this, if I could finally lose the the weight (because you know, I can just wiggle my nose and it allllll goes away lol) and get down to like 250 my dating pool would open up.

Sorry..had a long discussion with someone last night... trying to explain how I'm single ...god, I hate that fucking question.
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Old 07-17-2011, 12:55 PM   #33
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I spent yesterday at a family party back at my hometown which is about five miles outside NYC. Other than an evening visit to a wake, I hadn't been there in years because although I miss it and my friends and family, I have very ambivalent feelings about it; a lot of bad experiences growing up.

I've been 'supersized' since high school and bbw my entire life. FTR, I weighed well over 200 lbs. in grade school and yesterday sat with a group of women that with one exception, weighed no more than 150 lbs. each. My beautiful sister-in-law who I love deeply, was bemoaning the fact that she weighed 130 lbs and therefore refused to go into the pool. Had I remembered there was one, I'd have brought my bathing suit.

Of the four other women who I sat and spoke (and laughed and drank) with at length, because we were talking about my s-i-l's complaining about her size we did get on the subject of fat people, particularly but not limited to woman (my brother is a BHM and is pretty much my male double in every way) and although they never heard the lingo we use here, they used the terms plus-sized women and big guys and were definitely including supersized people--not just those who are packing an extra 50 lbs on their frame.

They even knew of and pointed out people they knew who were attracted to fat people and it didn't phase them at all. Those who knew me told the ones who didn't that I have a lot of admirers and it was completely plausible to them, in fact, one said, well of course...and it was nice. I felt fully accepted and embraced.

The only person who had a problem was a woman who was a good friend to all of them but somehow we'd never personally met and when she first arrived, wouldn't look at me or acknowledge anything I said. She was a smaller BBW, the only other woman there who was not average size.

She seemed to make a point of being deliberately uninterested in my presence which was amusing because that's kind of hard; My brother and I were guffawing and telling jokes and everyone at the party was screaming laughing and we're quite the comedy team. She was watching me and at one point came and sat down next to me and began to talk and then asked if we could speak privately in the shade and even grabbed my purse and drink for me to follow her.

She began to tell me all these things about herself (I had only met her minutes before) and interspersed a lot of it with her own ambivalent feelings and insecurities about being fat. She is a lovely woman, warm, witty, fun, funny as hell, extroverted, loved by her friends, lovably goofy, well dressed and to me, delightful and she was aware of these characteristics. She's self-aware. But she's alone and not by her own choice or so she thinks.

She says there are no men. I insist there are. I outweigh her by almost 200 lbs. I may be the cat's ass but there are plenty of women who are too. I don't know if it's confidence. I don't know if it's that she's aware of her own attributes logically but doesn't truly believe them or that they don't matter because her body is not what she wants it to be or thinks it's what others think it should be, and no one can tell her. That has to come from within. And it's not limited to fat people. There are a lot of single thin people too.

I made a new friend yesterday and hope to talk with her a lot. I don't expect to change her mind but maybe friendship with me can show her something different. Like hope. Because it has with others, maybe it can with her too.
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Old 07-17-2011, 03:52 PM   #34
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She says there are no men. I insist there are. I outweigh her by almost 200 lbs. I may be the cat's ass but there are plenty of women who are too. I don't know if it's confidence. I don't know if it's that she's aware of her own attributes logically but doesn't truly believe them or that they don't matter because her body is not what she wants it to be or thinks it's what others think it should be, and no one can tell her. That has to come from within. And it's not limited to fat people. There are a lot of single thin people too.

I made a new friend yesterday and hope to talk with her a lot. I don't expect to change her mind but maybe friendship with me can show her something different. Like hope. Because it has with others, maybe it can with her too.

ty for posting this. i really like the part i emboldened.
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Old 07-17-2011, 11:45 PM   #35
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I don't know, and I am not sure what your definition of big is? To some people it is a woman who is 50lbs overweight or to some 10 pounds. I'm an SSBBW and I weigh over 400lbs as I stated - I haven't had a date in over 2 years. As I stated previously I never in my life have heard a man publicly state he likes very fat women. I have never been approached or talked to or hit on. No man in my life has ever approached me or asked for my number. ....
My wife's about 350 with 70 inch hips -- so I guess big means big. I've been meeting more and more out FAs lately. Indeed two of my sixteen year old daughter's friends are out FAs and there still in high school! My daughter kind of freaked when she realized her friends had classified her mom as a MILF.

My oldest daughter (a borderline SSBBW) has been having a disconcertingly active social life since she moved to San Diego to go to university (I get the feeling I don't know the half of it).

I'm think'n that this sort of stuff wouldn't happen in the Midwest.

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Old 07-18-2011, 07:57 AM   #36
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The study holds a lot of weight (no pun intended). The people who gave me a hard time about my figure were WOMEN, not men. in particular, older women.

The people who made me feel a bit insecure about my body were women. I never had problems with my figure with men. I'm just being honest and this is all my opinion, so nobody better get upset.

I may be wrong, but I believe many older women were raised during the times when ultra thin women like Twiggy were the beauty symbols. Then in the seventies, you had the very thin look of Farrah Fawcett. Beauty standards, in terms of weight, seemed to be much more rigid back then.

I think in this new, younger generation, there is more body acceptance. You will see this with the popularity of the internet, where there is a depiction of various body types. There are plus sized models now. You have girls pumping their booties with animal fats to try to look like Kim Kardasian or Serena Williams. Curves abound! Plus you have the general population increasing in body size. Not to mention in Hip Hop music, which has become globalized and so popular, there are praises for women with 'meat on their bones'. Biologically speaking and throughout human history, men have been drawn to voluptuous women. All I know, more men love BBWs than some women believe.

As someone said, what is a man's definition of fat? Fat to one man may not be fat to another man. Then again, it may be regional as I live in the South.
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Old 07-26-2011, 06:39 PM   #37
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The study holds a lot of weight (no pun intended). The people who gave me a hard time about my figure were WOMEN, not men. in particular, older women.

The people who made me feel a bit insecure about my body were women. I never had problems with my figure with men. I'm just being honest and this is all my opinion, so nobody better get upset.

I may be wrong, but I believe many older women were raised during the times when ultra thin women like Twiggy were the beauty symbols. Then in the seventies, you had the very thin look of Farrah Fawcett. Beauty standards, in terms of weight, seemed to be much more rigid back then.

I think in this new, younger generation, there is more body acceptance. You will see this with the popularity of the internet, where there is a depiction of various body types. There are plus sized models now. You have girls pumping their booties with animal fats to try to look like Kim Kardasian or Serena Williams. Curves abound! Plus you have the general population increasing in body size. Not to mention in Hip Hop music, which has become globalized and so popular, there are praises for women with 'meat on their bones'. Biologically speaking and throughout human history, men have been drawn to voluptuous women. All I know, more men love BBWs than some women believe.

As someone said, what is a man's definition of fat? Fat to one man may not be fat to another man. Then again, it may be regional as I live in the South.
Men with brains who visited a few art museums tend to like big women. Men with a sense of adventure like older big women.
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Old 07-26-2011, 06:45 PM   #38
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I will never understand why so many men hold themselves in such super high regard as to assume this is actually the main reason so many women diet. There is a HUGE range of reasons as to why women diet and usually when it reaches the point of wanting to look runway walk-thin the idea of attracting men (or women if she so prefers) usually has very little to do with it.
The more that a woman identifies with the super thin female of haute couture media, the more she will diet to attain that image. Super-rich and upper class women identify with haute-couture since they can afford to be interested in clothes.
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Old 07-27-2011, 12:02 AM   #39
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The more that a woman identifies with the super thin female of haute couture media, the more she will diet to attain that image. Super-rich and upper class women identify with haute-couture since they can afford to be interested in clothes.

I'm sorry, I don't think I understand your argument? Personally speaking I am not super-rich nor am I upper class, and I certainly don't strive for that particular body type for the clothes OR because I think it will make my man happy. Instead, as I mentioned, there is an entire other spectrum of reasons for why I strive for what I do and only a fraction of the reason being for the approval of others, the same for which I have heard from many other women.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:36 AM   #40
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This one girl yesterday said she needed to lose some weight. Mind you, this girl is probably not even a size 12. I like her shape. I told her studies show men, in general, prefer voluptuous women.

She then responded, "Well, I have a skinny friend and when we go clubbin', guys seem to go to her and not me." Ughhh, there are other factors and anyway quality is more important than quantity. Why is it almost every female I encounter has to whine about losing weight? Wait, I know why and it is such a downer. The world would be a better place if women just owned their bodies.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:55 AM   #41
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Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lamia has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I have a huge problem with this study in that it's only using mouse clicks and many people still don't use the internet. I use the internet, but don't look at porn or even search for porn not because I am a prude I just don't care. So my opinion isn't included and several people I know who don't use the internet aren't included.

Also, a lot of people gather and cruise the net and look at the weirdest things they can so they can all laugh and go WOW that's weird. So are those clicks included?

I don't doubt that men prefer thicker girls. Compare Vogue to Playboy. Those girls aren't overweight, but they are meatier than the girls in Vogue.

There are men who prefer gaunt and skinny though, but they're probably in a minority with the men who prefer SSBBWs. My guess would be that the majority of men like everything in between.
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Old 07-27-2011, 01:46 PM   #42
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Agreed---the whole thing sounds like bad science to me.

I'm also tired of --and this is tangential, I know-- having a man find you sexually attractive as any measure of anything important anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

Finally, if we're going to bring it back to boners, then I don't want a guy who clicks on picture of a fat chick on the internet before, or instead of, clicking on a picture of a skinny chick.

I want a guy who gets up, shuts off the computer, goes out the door and respectfully gets to know me and then dates me. In public. Without expecting a medal from strangers at Dims.

The end. Vagina.
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Old 07-27-2011, 02:09 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes View Post
Agreed---the whole thing sounds like bad science to me.

I'm also tired of --and this is tangential, I know-- having a man find you sexually attractive as any measure of anything important anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

Finally, if we're going to bring it back to boners, then I don't want a guy who clicks on picture of a fat chick on the internet before, or instead of, clicking on a picture of a skinny chick.

I want a guy who gets up, shuts off the computer, goes out the door and respectfully gets to know me and then dates me. In public. Without expecting a medal from strangers at Dims.

The end. Vagina.
So nice it needs to be seen twice!
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:06 PM   #44
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I'm sorry, I don't think I understand your argument? Personally speaking I am not super-rich nor am I upper class, and I certainly don't strive for that particular body type for the clothes OR because I think it will make my man happy. Instead, as I mentioned, there is an entire other spectrum of reasons for why I strive for what I do and only a fraction of the reason being for the approval of others, the same for which I have heard from many other women.
yeah i know what you mean. i like fashion simply because its an art form. i don't have to be skinny to think its pretty or to even have my version of it for myself. i like beautiful stuff i can fit into and i look at it as an inspiration to what i'd like to wear and not a comment on my body anyway. its mainly women who keep foisting the fake perfection of fashion models on men AND other women. most men think that models look odd and gawky in person. and actually i think they prefer those of us who have the presence of mind not to care so much what other people think. we are more interesting.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:08 PM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes View Post
Agreed---the whole thing sounds like bad science to me.

I'm also tired of --and this is tangential, I know-- having a man find you sexually attractive as any measure of anything important anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

Finally, if we're going to bring it back to boners, then I don't want a guy who clicks on picture of a fat chick on the internet before, or instead of, clicking on a picture of a skinny chick.

I want a guy who gets up, shuts off the computer, goes out the door and respectfully gets to know me and then dates me. In public. Without expecting a medal from strangers at Dims.

The end. Vagina.
they wouldn't let me rep you

wait a minute? do fat women HAVE
vaginas?
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Old 07-28-2011, 02:58 PM   #46
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While these studies show men prefer overweight or larger women, there are men who are very vocal and nasty about disliking a voluptuous body shape. These little boys, that is what they are immature boys, scream loudly "no fat chicks" and women have the erroneous illusion that most men don't like curves. In reality, these said men can't handle all those curves.
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