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Old 06-20-2011, 10:00 AM   #1
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Default Fetish or Sadism

As one can tell from my nick, I AM an admirer of the expanding waistline. In fact, QUITE an admirer at that. But sometimes I wonder if part of the attraction for me is seeing a woman with a figure the world would admire ruin it under a ton of fat. Do I admire her for the beauty of her girth or the fact that her fat now covers what used to be a beautiful body. Comments?
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Old 06-21-2011, 08:26 PM   #2
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Default Moved from the FA/FFA board

This is more a weight gain question, please keep it on topic! enjoy!
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:28 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by lovesgaininggirls View Post
As one can tell from my nick, I AM an admirer of the expanding waistline. In fact, QUITE an admirer at that. But sometimes I wonder if part of the attraction for me is seeing a woman with a figure the world would admire ruin it under a ton of fat. Do I admire her for the beauty of her girth or the fact that her fat now covers what used to be a beautiful body. Comments?
This is probably a protected board, and eventhough this post might be transient in nature due to its imminent deletion/moderation, I do feel it has to be said: you're probably better off not getting comments on that post, dude.

Sadism is a fetish, but it's often frowned upon, to put it mildly, so people who are into that stuff are not always as vocal as you are about it. And that's probably a good thing for this board; a board frequented by many people who will feel at the very least completely objectified because of your statement.

Now I think your original place of posting was better than where the mod decided to move it. It gave you more chance on finding people who might even agree to some point. So I don't really think you want to comments, not here anyway. I don't think they'll be kind or understanding (which will lead to their deletion and will keep this thread pretty much empty therefore useless and time consuming for mods, but whatever).

Unless of course, the sadism goes beyond that and extends to wasting mod time and getting people worked up over hurtful statements, in which case you're doing a great job and I apologize for boring you with this post.
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Old 06-22-2011, 10:01 AM   #4
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Since you see the weight gain as ruining instead of improving (for pleasure at the very least) then I would definitely call that sadism before ever calling it a weight gain fetish. Those with a weight gain fetish love fat and see added fat improvement and not as "haha I ruined your body and now you're fat so you're mine." Get what I mean?!

If it was a weight gain fetish, you would never say that fat has ruined her body. Period.

Sadism itself is a separate form of fetishism that seems to be more your thing. I'd stick to calling your "thing" that, sadism.

Eta: I think you more admire the fact that you CONTROLLED towards a weight gain, rather than the gained weight itself.
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Old 06-24-2011, 08:20 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by lovesgaininggirls View Post
As one can tell from my nick, I AM an admirer of the expanding waistline. In fact, QUITE an admirer at that. But sometimes I wonder if part of the attraction for me is seeing a woman with a figure the world would admire ruin it under a ton of fat. Do I admire her for the beauty of her girth or the fact that her fat now covers what used to be a beautiful body. Comments?
You got clobbered with your post when it was on another forum, and here no one dares to reply.

That happened for two reasons.

One is that we're all brought up to filter our thoughts and observe social etiquette when communicating. People may THINK socially unacceptable things, but not say them. In the real world, you are never more than a few words away from utterly destroying your life.

Second, there's a huge difference between real world and our inner fantasy worlds. Erotic fantasies can be extremely politically incorrect, which is why most people don't talk about them. The two just don't mix. And most people have a very clear sense of what belongs where.

Does that mean fantasies can never be discussed? Not necessarily, but as with most everything else in life, mind the venue.
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Old 06-24-2011, 08:42 AM   #6
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In all fairness to the OP though, I think what he's discussing IS strictly fantasy. He seems to admire the growing form and think a bigger body IS beautiful, but recognizes that there are many people who don't feel that way.

Sadism is the fantasy/fetish, admiration is the reality.

So to answer the originally posed question: I actually do find it kind of hot in WG stories when the protagonist is against the idea of gaining weight, but does anyway, against their will. In reality, of course I would want a partner that actually thinks size is as attractive as I do. But there's something kind of hot about someone in a story dismayed by their weight gain, not gonna lie. Or a partner pouting about it and pretending to be upset.

Someone ACTUALLY dismayed by their weight IRL? Not so hot. I like people to be happy, despite my fantasies. After all, that's exactly what they are: fantasies.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:34 PM   #7
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I know this is going to sound really weird coming from me, but I actually think this is an interesting question. I missed the controversy when it was in the other forum, though, so I don't know the whole story.

I don't feel the way the OP does, I find added weight makes a person more physically attractive to me and it isn't about anyone "ruining" their looks, but I do know that I personally get aroused by a person's weight gain whether they're happy about it or not. And that can have an element of sadism if you think about it. My libido doesn't make the distinction. I'm not proud of that fact and it's one of the reasons I used to have so much trouble dealing with my fetish. I wish I could say I only found it appealing when the person was happy. I know it's a different thing than what the OP is talking about, but I do think there can be an element of even what I'd call "passive sadism" in being a weight gain fetishist, if we're really honest about it. Most of us would never want to be with an unhappy partner and most of us find the weight gain something that makes the person more attractive to us, but there are definitely shades of gray in there, whether it's what the OP is talking about, or my libido's indifference to a person's happiness, or Coyote Wild's fantasies which are darker than any reality he wants to experience. I can understand why the OP may wonder about something like that, especially if he's aroused by weight gain no matter what (I mean regardless of the gainer's happiness).

I understand it's an insensitive post, but I also feel like the wg fetishists are often a conflicted group and many of us feel at times like there is something sadistic about it whether actively or passively and we don't get to talk about it much except privately. I'm not sure the OP meant this to be as rude as it came across. He did post it on the FA/FFA forum first, at least, and not the main boards. I think it's actually an interesting question.
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Old 07-23-2011, 08:27 AM   #8
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All I no is id rather have a 600lbs girl than a 'baywatch' girl anytime :P.
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Old 07-23-2011, 10:08 AM   #9
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You got clobbered with your post when it was on another forum, and here no one dares to reply.

That happened for two reasons.

One is that we're all brought up to filter our thoughts and observe social etiquette when communicating. People may THINK socially unacceptable things, but not say them. In the real world, you are never more than a few words away from utterly destroying your life.

Second, there's a huge difference between real world and our inner fantasy worlds. Erotic fantasies can be extremely politically incorrect, which is why most people don't talk about them. The two just don't mix. And most people have a very clear sense of what belongs where.

Does that mean fantasies can never be discussed? Not necessarily, but as with most everything else in life, mind the venue.
That's because the usual gang of close minded morons can't remind us once again that we're weird for liking what we like and we're all sadists for wanting what we want. Its better this way because I don't wanna hear it and I'm sure neither does anyone else that regularly posts here.

Now for the actual topic, Carla hit it on the head. If your idea of an expanding waistline is a ruination rather than improvement then its sadism to continue.
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Old 07-23-2011, 01:57 PM   #10
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That's because the usual gang of close minded morons can't remind us once again that we're weird for liking what we like and we're all sadists for wanting what we want. Its better this way because I don't wanna hear it and I'm sure neither does anyone else that regularly posts here.

Now for the actual topic, Carla hit it on the head. If your idea of an expanding waistline is a ruination rather than improvement then its sadism to continue.
He's not talking about doing things, he's talking about what arouses him and he's wondering if in his own case, there's an element of sadism involved. Personally, I have fantasies and am aroused by things that have often led me to the same question about myself. It doesn't mean we go around kicking puppies or hurting the people in our lives, it just means we're turned on by things that, as the Webmaster said, are not PC. You obviously have no sadism in your fantasies at all, but why does it make someone who does out of hand evil? Nobody in the thread as it stands is saying all WG fetishists are sadists, they're saying there are variations, just like there are amongst FAs and any other type of sexual attraction. Reading through the library, I'd say the OP is not alone in having these types of fantasies and attractions. I also don't think he should be jumped on for admitting to that element of things by either "side" of the debate. (Of course, I don't know what was edited out so if he turned out to be a big jerk, forget I said anything).

The truth is, there are lots of people aroused by sadism in various forms, the BDSM community is quite large and yet the vast majority of them are perfectly nice, normal folks who go around living their lives and don't cause anyone any trouble. I get really tired of everyone being morally judged based on what arouses them. You (the general you) can judge me all you want on what I do, but this "thought crime" business when it comes to sexual fantasies really gets on my nerves. The fact is that the definition of a WG fetishist is pretty simple: a person gains weight and we get aroused. That's really the nuts and bolts. Some of us are sadists, some masochists, some neither. Takes all kinds. It seems to me the only thing this guy did that was wrong was not knowing the site well enough to know where to put the post and apparently found himself in a mess as a result. But I still think it's a valid question and if we can't discuss it here amongst ourselves, where can we?
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Old 07-23-2011, 02:55 PM   #11
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Weird that you asked this, because I had thought about it myself recently. Because, I hang out with a lot of men and boys, and I get into some intense conversations about their kinks, my kinks, and what not. I've told them about feeders and feedees, and small girls getting larger etc. My most arrogant friend Ian, just graduated, and most of the time I ignore his cocky little remarks about fetishes and such, because he's sometimes mean, and rarely makes a point. A few weeks ago, he was on my computer and found a website of skinny girls stuffing and wanted to know some details, and he asked if he could have my password to "explore" some more, and I asked him, the king of perfectly skinny lovin' why he was interested? He said it was a "haha look at you now bitch" type thing. All the pretty girls in high school and college, all those girls that never gave him the time of day, he said to think of them getting fat, and having no control over it was sexy. It was the degrading that he liked, and he even got his own account of Stuffer31, because he likes seeing the teeny tiny girls, get a swollen belly, and not be able to fit into their clothes.

It's weird for me, to think of him getting off on something concerning fat, since he lost all his baby fat after high school he's had an obsession with all things thin, until now. He's actually pointed out a girl he works with that has got a very small hard pot belly, and he told "I could make it bigger" and has even asked about the infamous belly rub.

Great thread. Food for thought, for sure.
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Old 07-24-2011, 09:17 AM   #12
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Weird that you asked this, because I had thought about it myself recently. Because, I hang out with a lot of men and boys, and I get into some intense conversations about their kinks, my kinks, and what not. I've told them about feeders and feedees, and small girls getting larger etc. My most arrogant friend Ian, just graduated, and most of the time I ignore his cocky little remarks about fetishes and such, because he's sometimes mean, and rarely makes a point. A few weeks ago, he was on my computer and found a website of skinny girls stuffing and wanted to know some details, and he asked if he could have my password to "explore" some more, and I asked him, the king of perfectly skinny lovin' why he was interested? He said it was a "haha look at you now bitch" type thing. All the pretty girls in high school and college, all those girls that never gave him the time of day, he said to think of them getting fat, and having no control over it was sexy. It was the degrading that he liked, and he even got his own account of Stuffer31, because he likes seeing the teeny tiny girls, get a swollen belly, and not be able to fit into their clothes.

It's weird for me, to think of him getting off on something concerning fat, since he lost all his baby fat after high school he's had an obsession with all things thin, until now. He's actually pointed out a girl he works with that has got a very small hard pot belly, and he told "I could make it bigger" and has even asked about the infamous belly rub.

Great thread. Food for thought, for sure.
So his intentions are pretty much to laugh at bigger girls, stuff a thin girls belly to get himself off, then laugh some more at them getting bigger?

Size acceptance at its finest
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Old 07-24-2011, 11:37 AM   #13
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So his intentions are pretty much to laugh at bigger girls, stuff a thin girls belly to get himself off, then laugh some more at them getting bigger?

Size acceptance at its finest
size acceptance =/= sexual fetishes
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Old 07-25-2011, 11:28 PM   #14
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... but I do know that I personally get aroused by a person's weight gain whether they're happy about it or not. And that can have an element of sadism if you think about it. My libido doesn't make the distinction. I'm not proud of that fact and it's one of the reasons I used to have so much trouble dealing with my fetish. I wish I could say I only found it appealing when the person was happy. I know it's a different thing than what the OP is talking about, but I do think there can be an element of even what I'd call "passive sadism" in being a weight gain fetishist, .
I actually wouldn't call what you're describing as a sadism because you don't actually want someone to feel bad you just enjoy weight gain. Like you said your libido is responding to the weight gain itself.

To me it's kind of like a girl crying because her mom died and she's in her bathrobe and it falls open while she's wailing and a guy gets a boner because ooops her tits fell out. He's not turned on because she's crying about her mom he's turned on by seperate physical stimuli and probably feels like a pig because of his natural response to her naked body.
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Old 07-26-2011, 06:41 PM   #15
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I think one of the appealing things about the fantasy is that despite social taboos, inconveniences, and personal desires for thinness, a person loses control because of the sheer ecstasy of it, be the "it" the lust for food, for gaining itself, or some other passion left unrestrained. I don't think that's sadistic. I think that's just a weight gain version of "girls gone wild."

Like lots of things, though--such as girls who will do anything, or drug addicts, or real sadists/masochists, or people into gobs of plastic surgery, you name it--the actual real life experience of witnessing someone lose control isn't pretty. If the appealing thing about it is the fantasy of enjoying losing control and there being no consequences, then I think it fits in with just about every other fantasy out there. If the arousing thing is the actual degradation of someone else, then it's sadistic.

Most weight gain stories start with someone thin, progress to someone who is gaining weight and is resisting it, then resolve into someone who lets his or her passion take over and comes to enjoy or accept it. I think that's the typical fantasy template, and other elements have to be added before it becomes sadistic.
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Old 07-27-2011, 10:44 AM   #16
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So his intentions are pretty much to laugh at bigger girls, stuff a thin girls belly to get himself off, then laugh some more at them getting bigger?
Sadism

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Size acceptance at its finest
I think a large number of men that bust a lot of nuts looking, and desiring to bone almost fat, and fat(ter) girls could give two shits about size acceptance.
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Old 07-27-2011, 12:48 PM   #17
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Sadism



I think a large number of men that bust a lot of nuts looking, and desiring to bone almost fat, and fat(ter) girls could give two shits about size acceptance.
I was being sarcastic when I said it, I must not have given off that tone in my last post so my bad.

The worst part is trying to educate these bastards elsewhere and its always the same. I get messages like "you know (a paysite model)? can u hook me up dude" I'm like "If you weren't so damn stupid you'd be able to hook yourself up" The worst part is they have no idea why, after they ask "hey can we fuck?" in a private message, they don't get a response.
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Old 07-28-2011, 06:22 AM   #18
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Dr. P. was right in calling out the "thought police" issue here.

Your fetishes and kinks simply are what they are. They don't say anything at all about the sort of person you are. Ultimately the only thing that matters is your actions.

Being an FA gives you no more imperative towards supporting size acceptance than being a MILFHunter means you need to join the AARP. It's just your libido. If somebody is turned on by weight gain, they're just turned on by weight gain.

What's immoral would be to manipulate a woman into gaining weight by claiming you love it, and then when she's gained saying "ha ha. Take that bitch. Women like you were mean to me in high school". That's wrong. It isn't immoral to have that fantasy and join a paysite where you pay to act out a fantasy in a scenario where your "partner" is compensated and not actually being manipulated.

There also really really needs to be a distinction between sexual sadism and somebody being a jerk. Sexual sadism is again just about the libido. Being dishonest, mean, or unethical is just about being an asshole.
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Old 09-06-2011, 06:18 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by KHayes666 View Post
That's because the usual gang of close minded morons can't remind us once again that we're weird for liking what we like and we're all sadists for wanting what we want. Its better this way because I don't wanna hear it and I'm sure neither does anyone else that regularly posts here.

Now for the actual topic, Carla hit it on the head. If your idea of an expanding waistline is a ruination rather than improvement then its sadism to continue.
Its hard to blame people for finding the idea of purposefully becoming obese "weird". Lets not kid ourselves- its NOT healthy, unless someone would be so kind as to link to a peer reviewed study proving otherwise? Of course Im against all out "fat-hate" but Im not going to judge somebody for being weirded out.
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Old 09-06-2011, 09:38 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by Seiger23 View Post
Its hard to blame people for finding the idea of purposefully becoming obese "weird". Lets not kid ourselves- its NOT healthy, unless someone would be so kind as to link to a peer reviewed study proving otherwise? Of course Im against all out "fat-hate" but Im not going to judge somebody for being weirded out.
The problem wasn't people finding the idea "weird", it was the people thinking it was "weird" were making other people feel like shit for liking it.

Those days are long gone though.
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:01 AM   #21
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This might not be directly related to the OP presented but if you look at the human race as a whole there are plenty of real-life examples which show that weight gain and fat are not necessarily 'bad' for you, this is likely why many of our ancestors survived in harsh times and why still today there are people inclined to gain weight and are people of larger sizes.

It is my belief and opinion that nature is a conscious thing, infinitely more intelligent than any human being or group of human beings and that life will take the course nature wants it to.

We can resist the change, but the change will ultimately happen (or not happen in which case we die out as a species but this is still a change no?).



I have never, nor will I ever think of my preference for bigger girls, or girls gaining weight as 'weird'. And should someone tell me it is weird then they can just 'bug-off'.

All in all I would if I had to choose weight gain and fat to be more of a fetish but in all honesty it is more of a preference for me. I like brunettes, girls with black hair, and weight or who wouldn't mind gaining weight. I would not consider it completely necessary for sexual gratification and it has nothing to do with sadism.
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:07 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by lovesgaininggirls View Post
As one can tell from my nick, I AM an admirer of the expanding waistline. In fact, QUITE an admirer at that. But sometimes I wonder if part of the attraction for me is seeing a woman with a figure the world would admire ruin it under a ton of fat. Do I admire her for the beauty of her girth or the fact that her fat now covers what used to be a beautiful body. Comments?
Sounds to me like what you are really into is humiliation if you see weight gain as ruinous to a woman's figure. Do these fantasies accompany sobbing, begging, pleading, bargaining, fear, and degredation? If so, get thee to a BDSM site.
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Old 09-18-2011, 10:57 AM   #23
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I'll have one order of guilt and a side of self-loathing

we're only programmed to eat and fuck everything else is guilt, what happens betwixt two consenting adults is nothing to feel guilty over, unless you get off on guilt... is that already a fetish?
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Old 09-18-2011, 02:29 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by CarlaSixx View Post
Since you see the weight gain as ruining instead of improving (for pleasure at the very least) then I would definitely call that sadism before ever calling it a weight gain fetish. Those with a weight gain fetish love fat and see added fat improvement and not as "haha I ruined your body and now you're fat so you're mine." Get what I mean?!

If it was a weight gain fetish, you would never say that fat has ruined her body. Period.

Sadism itself is a separate form of fetishism that seems to be more your thing. I'd stick to calling your "thing" that, sadism.

Eta: I think you more admire the fact that you CONTROLLED towards a weight gain, rather than the gained weight itself.
^^ This is exactly how I see it in relation to your post, lovesgaininggirls.
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