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Old 08-19-2011, 08:12 PM   #1
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Default The Doctor's Office

I just made an appointment with a new doctor today and I'm a little apprehensive. I absolutely hate the doctor but since I havent seen one in a good 3 years I thought it was time for a physical. I've never seen this particular doctor so I'm even more nervous that she'll make me feel uncomfortable or shame me about my weight. I do see other doctors regularly, I just saw my gyno and I'm incredibly comfortable around her (she's also a big lady so she never gives me a hard time about my weight) but general practioners seem to harp more than the others. I used to have a wonderful male GP who was similarly more concerned with my overall health than the number on the scale but recently he's become too ill to practice Which leads me to this new woman.

So, how do you ladies deal? Do you have any tips? Any go to mantra like "Thanks but I'm happy with my weight"? Do you bring up Health at Every Size? Or do you just grit your teeth, have a good cry in the parking lot and then move on? I'd really like to avoid the last one haha so any feedback would be appreciated
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Old 08-19-2011, 08:18 PM   #2
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I usually go see nurse practitioners, who are taught to view clients in a more holistic manner and less likely to lecture on weight loss and more likely to encourage living in a healthy manner -- eating right, exercising, not engaging in risky behavior. The lady I currently see asked me what my normal weight was and how much I wanted to weigh. Didn't say a word when I said I'd like to be around 200 (I'm 250 now, but 200 is still obese for somebody around 5-2).

I get fussed at for not doing my foot stretches to help with my plantar fascitis, but I know she's right.
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Old 08-19-2011, 10:42 PM   #3
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Not sure how old you are PB but I've read that for healthy young women it's perfectly fine to ask your gynecologist to run a few extra tests in lieu of a completely separate doctor and physical.
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Old 08-20-2011, 03:30 AM   #4
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I just had my first doctor's appointment in years. I never met this doctor before. He didnt look me in the eye not once. He talked and type on his computer the entire time. He asked me a lot of questions. I made an appointment for a pap smear and a mamogram. I am not sure whether or not to have the mamogram or not. I've never had either and am very nervous about it.

He didn't mention my weight at all.

I don't have the results back yet for the blood test yet. They're checking my thyroid. I avoided doctors for years afraid of the F word, but I don't think anyone should let them keep them from taking care of themselves. Shame can kill you.
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Old 08-20-2011, 06:29 AM   #5
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. I made an appointment for a pap smear and a mamogram. I am not sure whether or not to have the mamogram or not. I've never had either and am very nervous about it.

... Shame can kill you.
Mammogram was a piece of cake. Had one two years ago and I was scared witless from the horror stories but really, it wasn't the bad at all. The worst part was having to stand up for a "long" time while they got everything in place, but eventually, I just said "I need to sit for a few minutes" and then got me a chair and that was that. Don't cancel, just do it!! Like you say... Shame can kill you! HUGS!
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Old 08-20-2011, 06:52 AM   #6
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I had to have a mam about 5 yrs ago, due to some issues going on at the time, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Go!

And I've never really had a Dr comment on my weight. So hopefully they wont, unless you bring it up. And it also depends on how they approach it. I guess I would handle it by just listening to what they said, knowing that I was happy at my current weight. Or if they started in on WL etc, I'd just tell them unless there are any health issues that are directly related to my weight, I don't feel a need to discuss it.

I'm considered "obese" by the BMI, and my Dr told me the last time I was there to just keep doing what I'm doing, because its working, and I'm extremely healthy.

I hope it goes well for you!
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Old 08-29-2011, 04:25 AM   #7
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My Doctor and I have a deal of sorts - Everytime I see him for my yearly appointment (vs something wrong) we do this little ritual. After he asks how I've been and we've done the polite chit chat I wink at him and say "Ok, here goes ... I know I'm fat, I know you'd like me to lose some weight. You know I know, are we good?" And he'll laugh and say "We're good!" and that is the end of it. Of course it helps that I've got low blood preassure, reasonably good chloresterol and triglicerides, and up until recently absolutely steller blood sugar. We're keeping an eye on things because I might have PCOS which would effect blood sugar and since I'm adopted there's a chance I might have a few genetic conditions that would effect my levels later on but he NEVER assumes that anything like that is due to what I eat or how much. If a level goes up he's allowed to give me the standard if you're eating a lot of X, try to limit it a bit speech, but I know he gives it to skinny patients too so I don't mind.
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Old 10-16-2011, 03:02 PM   #8
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I hate doctors. My family doctor is from china and he always goes off on how we are the fattest ppl hes ever seen in his life and back in his country ppl never get fat and tells me that at 250-280 lbs 5'8 i am the fattest human being hes ever seen and that i am disgusting and ugly, and sickening. hes made me go home crying for being a size 14 and not a 00. But family doctors are so rare here that I cannot get another one. I know I'm fat. I know I need to lose 100-120lbs. I'm working on it, but no matter how hard I work he tells me im disgusting and sickening.

i doubt your doctor will be that bad. i dont think any doctor can be that bad. your health is very important so be brave and proud and face the new doctor the best you can and well if she says anything to you about being overweight other than the typical lose weight yada yada, remeber that shes probably got something you can lecture her about too, maybe shes got a crooked nose or an ugly hairy mole you see on her neck? basically thats how i get by at my doctor, shameful i know, but when hes telling me im ugly i remind myself that hes 90 and wrinkley and will be dead soon. am i a bad person? probably but its how i dont end up running out of his office crying again.
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Old 10-16-2011, 03:32 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Tragedie09 View Post
I hate doctors. My family doctor is from china and he always goes off on how we are the fattest ppl hes ever seen in his life and back in his country ppl never get fat and tells me that at 250-280 lbs 5'8 i am the fattest human being hes ever seen and that i am disgusting and ugly, and sickening. hes made me go home crying for being a size 14 and not a 00. But family doctors are so rare here that I cannot get another one. I know I'm fat. I know I need to lose 100-120lbs. I'm working on it, but no matter how hard I work he tells me im disgusting and sickening.

i doubt your doctor will be that bad. i dont think any doctor can be that bad. your health is very important so be brave and proud and face the new doctor the best you can and well if she says anything to you about being overweight other than the typical lose weight yada yada, remeber that shes probably got something you can lecture her about too, maybe shes got a crooked nose or an ugly hairy mole you see on her neck? basically thats how i get by at my doctor, shameful i know, but when hes telling me im ugly i remind myself that hes 90 and wrinkley and will be dead soon. am i a bad person? probably but its how i dont end up running out of his office crying again.
Is this really true?!! I can't even imagine that it would be. Would a doctor actually tell a patient that they're ugly disgusting and sickening? I can see them starting to lecture about weight and bmi's but to verbally abuse their patients? I find this seriously hard to believe. IF it is true, i'd tell him that this subject is not up for discussion, if he brings it up again, i'd find another doctor even if i had to travel to get there. You are the customer, you pay his salary, just like every other public type of job out there. Don't give this person your money. Period.
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Old 10-16-2011, 03:41 PM   #10
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Is this really true?!! I can't even imagine that it would be. Would a doctor actually tell a patient that they're ugly disgusting and sickening? I can see them starting to lecture about weight and bmi's but to verbally abuse their patients? I find this seriously hard to believe. IF it is true, i'd tell him that this subject is not up for discussion, if he brings it up again, i'd find another doctor even if i had to travel to get there. You are the customer, you pay his salary, just like every other public type of job out there. Don't give this person your money. Period.

its true, why would i make it up. its shameful that im too big to go to a doctor without having to deal with this, its something id only share here where i dont feel ostrasized or ashamed for being this big. he doesnt get my money, i guess he gets my taxes, im canadian. i only go to him now when im really sick, i havent seen him in a year or more.
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Old 10-16-2011, 04:01 PM   #11
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its true, why would i make it up. its shameful that im too big to go to a doctor without having to deal with this, its something id only share here where i dont feel ostrasized or ashamed for being this big. he doesnt get my money, i guess he gets my taxes, im canadian. i only go to him now when im really sick, i havent seen him in a year or more.
And did you bother to report him? That is against any code of conduct to call you ugly.
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Old 10-16-2011, 04:07 PM   #12
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And did you bother to report him? That is against any code of conduct to call you ugly.
kinda an embarassing thing to report, my weight is not something i have always accepted, i definetly didnt want to report a doctor mocking me for my weight. i was also a teenager and couldnt even stomach to tell my parents let alone an official.
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Old 10-16-2011, 07:38 PM   #13
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I just switched doctor after my last one told me he was sending me for lap band... ah yes told me not asked me, I was like I don't think so and decided I had had enough arguments with him and left...
Of course its harder for me cause I work in the hospital with all these doctors but so be it... the new one is excellent, I think I shocked him cause my blood work is perfect, lower cholesterol, low triglycerides, no problems with liver or kidneys, my thyroid was outta whack but that wasn't something new for me... but I am fairly active and work hard, and keep myself moving so I am pretty healthy just can't control the disorders that are genetic as he tells me LOL we are monitoring my sugars cause of my PCOS but its not very high yet so we aren't concerned... the only mention of my weight was to explain that with my shape and my PCOS that's why my sugar level was a littler higher then normal... its nice to go in and not be attacked about my weight instantly lol
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Old 10-16-2011, 07:53 PM   #14
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I just switched doctor after my last one told me he was sending me for lap band... ah yes told me not asked me, I was like I don't think so and decided I had had enough arguments with him and left...
Of course its harder for me cause I work in the hospital with all these doctors but so be it... the new one is excellent, I think I shocked him cause my blood work is perfect, lower cholesterol, low triglycerides, no problems with liver or kidneys, my thyroid was outta whack but that wasn't something new for me... but I am fairly active and work hard, and keep myself moving so I am pretty healthy just can't control the disorders that are genetic as he tells me LOL we are monitoring my sugars cause of my PCOS but its not very high yet so we aren't concerned... the only mention of my weight was to explain that with my shape and my PCOS that's why my sugar level was a littler higher then normal... its nice to go in and not be attacked about my weight instantly lol
lol wonder if you had same one as me since youre also in newfieland
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Old 10-16-2011, 08:41 PM   #15
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Old 10-16-2011, 08:54 PM   #16
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I hate doctors. My family doctor is from china and he always goes off on how we are the fattest ppl hes ever seen in his life and back in his country ppl never get fat and tells me that at 250-280 lbs 5'8 i am the fattest human being hes ever seen and that i am disgusting and ugly, and sickening.
This is abusive. I looked up a link for Canada and medical complaints, and it looks like every province has a college of physicians and surgeons, patient advocates and a complaint process. For Newfoundland the web address is www.cpsnl.ca. Hope that helps. Document dates and times and as much information as you can about the conversation, tone, how you felt and anything physical that would not be part of a respectful/professional medical exam. Good luck. There's also a link on the site for finding family physicians who are taking new patients.
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Old 10-17-2011, 09:00 AM   #17
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This is abusive. I looked up a link for Canada and medical complaints, and it looks like every province has a college of physicians and surgeons, patient advocates and a complaint process. For Newfoundland the web address is www.cpsnl.ca. Hope that helps. Document dates and times and as much information as you can about the conversation, tone, how you felt and anything physical that would not be part of a respectful/professional medical exam. Good luck. There's also a link on the site for finding family physicians who are taking new patients.
thanks. i havent seen him in almost 2 yrs but now that im not a teen i may actually be brave enough to report him in the future
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Old 10-17-2011, 09:36 AM   #18
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I hope you do, Tragedie. Having an extra layer of fat on your body doesn't make you less of a human being. You DESERVE to be treated with dignity and RESPECT.
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