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Old 12-04-2011, 06:41 PM   #26
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Leaving the pickle analogy out of it (why must people drag Hitler and Fascists into non-political discussions?), I think the following (taken from the Asperger's site mentioned above) may prove interesting - and supports the view that FAness is corrolated somewhat more than average with Aspergers, but not universally:

It is interesting that

The moderator for the Love and Dating forum, Hyperlexian, uses a Lane Bryant “Free for Chubbies avatar.

The “body type catagories survey for women(based on something called OKCupid) gives six categories on preferences among Aspergers, currently showing the following:

Athletic 11%
Average 15%
A “little extra” 19%
Overweight 20%
Curvy 25%
Full Figured 30%

Now. To be fair, I don’t think the associated “Curvy” and “Full Figured” photos, here, were much more than size 14-18 respectively at the most. The guy doing the survey admitted as much later in the thread. Still, the reply percentages do tend to run more towards plumpness than one might have expected.

Another thread in the same forum about “What Attracts You” seemed full of terms like intelligence, geekiness, friendliness wetc and was noticeably short on concern about any physical characteristics. The one exception included several R rated references to breast and butt size – and the one below it noted cooking skills.
Quote:
Polish/Eastern European girls are the hottest … they seem to like or be more accepting of me,… if you can cook, and look reasonably attractive (ie aren't 300 pounds) you'll probably get any guy in the entire universe.
A few comments later one guy observed
Quote:
I like a woman who loves to eat a lot.
This was just from a month’s worth of posts in a thread that runs well over a hundred pages. I would suggest this type of response is atypical of a more random selection of guys, but it helps support the OPs original thesis.

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Old 12-04-2011, 08:08 PM   #27
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My Nephew has Aspergers - he is high functioning. He is so funny and says things that always throw you for a loop. ( he is my favorite nephew)

One thing he has said to me while sitting on my lap and getting his 5th hug hello, you know ... a little man could happily live in your underbelly. Very matter of fact - not being mean or sexual - just a, hey guess what, sorta tone.

He is my only experience with someone with Aspergers so I think there is a connection. Not scientific just an observation.
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Old 12-04-2011, 09:13 PM   #28
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That's right. I'm posting an a liberal-dominated-overly-politically-correct forum where censorship is the rule.
It's nothing to do with that. Your experience isn't everyone's experience, and just because you "are" something doesn't mean you can say or do certain things and have it be okay.
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Old 12-04-2011, 10:02 PM   #29
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It's nothing to do with that. Your experience isn't everyone's experience, and just because you "are" something doesn't mean you can say or do certain things and have it be okay.
I have the right to speak my mind. I REFUSE to let someone call me "abnormal" or have people take a patronizing attitude toward my "condition". I'm different. That's all. Our personality type was given a label (only a few decades ago I might add) and that has done little more than feed the stigma. Frankly, I consider our traits to be downright DESIRABLE. We often excel at logic, mathematics and analytical thinking. We're honest, sometimes brutally so, but we need more honesty in the world IMHO. Labeling us as having a disorder is arrogant and dehumanizing. I have the right to express my opinion when I say I believe we have been unfairly labeled by those in the psychological profession. They don't understand us. They can't. They're not like us. They are guilty of the same crime as as any group that considers itself superior. And they *DO* consider themselves superior IMHO. They don't relate to us. They see us as different and therefore "abnormal". Who are they to set the standard for what a human personality should be like?
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Old 12-04-2011, 10:51 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by ChubbyChaserDave View Post
I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 4 and I'm a pretty hardcore FA. My best friend who also has Asperger's is also a FA except unlike me he's gay. Another one of my friends who knows both of us and does not have Asperger's once said to me that he wondered if there was some sort of connection between having Asperger's and being a FA. I don't know if there is, but it is an interesting concept.
A homosexual FA ?? ... interesting

Funny thing was ... I was diagnosed with aspergers around 4-5 myself ... but ... thing is grew up in a very unforgiving environment... so i accommodated for that ... but i still run into some issues, but i just play it off .. most people would never guess i ever was diagnosed with such a thing, to this day i wonder if it was accurate.

I was SOOO NERDY growing up until I graduated college. I had to teach myself how to understand peoples emotions better ... i had to watch an analyze very simple things ... people seem to just get right away.
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Old 12-05-2011, 06:42 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by blubrluvr View Post
I have the right to speak my mind. I REFUSE to let someone call me "abnormal" or have people take a patronizing attitude toward my "condition". I'm different. That's all. Our personality type was given a label (only a few decades ago I might add) and that has done little more than feed the stigma. Frankly, I consider our traits to be downright DESIRABLE. We often excel at logic, mathematics and analytical thinking. We're honest, sometimes brutally so, but we need more honesty in the world IMHO. Labeling us as having a disorder is arrogant and dehumanizing. I have the right to express my opinion when I say I believe we have been unfairly labeled by those in the psychological profession. They don't understand us. They can't. They're not like us. They are guilty of the same crime as as any group that considers itself superior. And they *DO* consider themselves superior IMHO. They don't relate to us. They see us as different and therefore "abnormal". Who are they to set the standard for what a human personality should be like?
I never said any of those things. I did say that your experience isn't everyone else's experience.

Honesty is important, yes, but so is tact and understanding other people's emotions, including how and why your words and actions might affect them. Being able to relate to other people and their emotions is important for successful social interaction, and that is something a lot of autistic people have trouble with. It doesn't make anyone better or less than anyone else, it just helps people work together.
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:46 AM   #32
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I think I've typed this out somewhere on these boards before (maybe on the thread Ruby Ripples started), but I have an idea about autism and FA-ness. It probably is far-fetched, but it isn't a belief of mine, just an interesting linkage to think about.

Those of you familiar with Temple Grandin know about her squeeze box. She feels better when she has total, all over body pressure and touch that her squeeze box gives her. She puts forth the idea that this is because of her autism. I would imagine to a smaller person who feels as Temple Grandin does, that being laid on or otherwise pressed against a much larger person would offer the same sort of pleasure that Temple Grandin's squeeze box gives her.

I'm not saying anything about percentages of FAs that are on the autism spectrum, just that I wonder if Temple Grandin would have needed a squeeze box if she was partnered with a fat person.
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:07 AM   #33
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I suspect (no proof) that there is a correlation between Autism spectrum disorders and:
- how apt people are to do a lot of their socialization over the internet
- how apt people are to unabashadly look for their preferences, without worrying too much what other people think
- odds of being single

I would think that these would all tend to increase the representation of such people on any online forum that caters to to their particular sexual interest. In other words, it wouldn't surprise me if there were more than average at a place like this. Which in turn means that there being more than average at a place like this may not say anything about the general population.
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:37 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by blubrluvr View Post
I've been thinking about this a lot. I've noticed that the "geek" factor is indeed part of FA-dom. When I say "geek" I don't necessarily mean technical/scientific aptitude, but that non-conformist, misfit, outcast quality. Another aspect is "obsessive" traits that are often associated with Asperger's.

Now, I have problems with Asperger's being labeled some kind of abnormality. I think that it is simply a "difference" much like eye, skin or hair color. Nevertheless, the psychological community seems to have done a wonderful job labeling those with varying personality traits. Aspies seem to be less concerned about how other people feel about them. There are those (I'll label them as suffering from "Asshole Syndrome") who are obsessed about the image the present and their social standing. They're manipulative, obsessed with things like office politics and pop culture. They're the ultimate conformists. Unfortunately, society seems to reward that behavior and these people tend to rise to positions of power, wealth and influence.

But I digress...

So what say you? Are those who are labeled as "Asperger's" more likely to be FAs? I tend to believe so. Many FA's I know have other obsessions and are often considered experts in their fields. They have passions outside of that which is big and jiggly and arousing.

Looking forward to comments.
I must say, a high percentage of the people I've dated are people with varying degrees of aspergers. I'd be inclined to say that the reasons are actually opposite of what you describe. People with aspergers tend to be much more direct and clear as to their thoughts and intentions which I really respond to rather than the usual flirtations that most peopel employ. Subtle signals are virtually undetectable to me. While I agree with most of what you've said about people with aspies, there is one aspect of aspies that I find distinctly unpleasant. There is always an area in which a person with Aspergers percieves themselves to be completely above and beyond common rules. If s/he feels s/he has had enough training and is smarter than all the other students s/he will simply stop progressing through the program even though finishing is required by law to be licensed. If s/he's read everythign there is to read about brain surgery, s/he will consider herself an expert though s/he is not licensed or approved to practice. Ceremony and structural formality are meaningless to them only within the particular area in which they feel superior to everyone else. Without fail, each person with aspergers I've met had an area in their conciousness that they simply could not subject to review or critique no matter how well reasoned the argument in favor. It's like an achilles heel.
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Old 12-05-2011, 11:10 PM   #35
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I would guess that I'm fairly opposite to this thesis. I don't carry much in the way of Asperger's traits; instead I'm quite people-focused, work hard to be direct, lack attention rather than obsess, and truly am an expert in nothing.

That being said, perhaps its easier to find FA's with Aspergers because they are the FA's who are most likely to be frank about their preferences.
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Old 12-08-2011, 08:34 PM   #36
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I seem to be in that group that both is a hardcore FA, and has Aspergers. I don't think the two go hand in hand, but it's nice to know there are others like me.
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Old 12-08-2011, 08:49 PM   #37
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I would guess that I'm fairly opposite to this thesis. I don't carry much in the way of Asperger's traits; instead I'm quite people-focused, work hard to be direct, lack attention rather than obsess, and truly am an expert in nothing.

That being said, perhaps its easier to find FA's with Aspergers because they are the FA's who are most likely to be frank about their preferences.
That could be true. That's something to look into. *puts on thinking cap and gets out thinking pipe*
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Old 12-09-2011, 11:04 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by butch View Post
I think I've typed this out somewhere on these boards before (maybe on the thread Ruby Ripples started), but I have an idea about autism and FA-ness. It probably is far-fetched, but it isn't a belief of mine, just an interesting linkage to think about.

Those of you familiar with Temple Grandin know about her squeeze box. She feels better when she has total, all over body pressure and touch that her squeeze box gives her. She puts forth the idea that this is because of her autism. I would imagine to a smaller person who feels as Temple Grandin does, that being laid on or otherwise pressed against a much larger person would offer the same sort of pleasure that Temple Grandin's squeeze box gives her.

I'm not saying anything about percentages of FAs that are on the autism spectrum, just that I wonder if Temple Grandin would have needed a squeeze box if she was partnered with a fat person.
This reminds me of something I read in a journal article a while back: autistic children are calmed by whole-body pressure, so heavy blankets and such can be placed on the child to soothe them during anxiety attacks, tantrums, etc. Maybe this is also a factor in relationships later in life.
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Old 12-09-2011, 11:29 AM   #39
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Hitler ate pickles and was a nazi, therefore everyone who eats pickles is a nazi. I'm sure lots of people with Aspy's and aspy-like symptoms (which people without apsy's also can have) like fat people just like lots of people without it like fat people. I'm also sure that lots of people with it like thin people just like lots of people without it like fat people.

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Old 12-09-2011, 11:36 AM   #40
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But to answer this properly: I am a geek, a real nerd. I have some intererests and hobbies that I can be a bit obsessed with, (I guess most people who know me here know this), and it's true I am not really the most social person, but I don't have Aspergers.

Oh, and, by the way, I'm an FA.
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:58 PM   #41
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Just fyi Asperger's may be going away as a diagnosis. We'd just be High Functioning ASD in the new DSM5 when it comes out.

From the DSM5 website:
The work group is proposing that this disorder be subsumed into an existing disorder: Autistic Disorder (Autism Spectrum Disorder).

I don't much care either way. For 40 years I was just an aloof asshole. Finding out I was a "clinical asshole" with a congenital brain abnormality didn't really help much.
Agreed. I strongly dislike the labelling of non-violent, "socially challenging" personalities as being somehow medically "disordered".

Just like the bullshit medicalisation of body type variation - for profit, IMO a lot of the "personality disorders" created by psychiatrists are exactly that, BS for $$$.

"Conform! Or be medicated!
Pay to be normal! Bow down and obey!"


Fuck that noise.

Being an FA is not a "disorder". Nor is telling uncomfortable truths.
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Old 12-09-2011, 01:11 PM   #42
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I have the right to speak my mind. I REFUSE to let someone call me "abnormal" or have people take a patronizing attitude toward my "condition". I'm different. That's all. Our personality type was given a label (only a few decades ago I might add) and that has done little more than feed the stigma. Frankly, I consider our traits to be downright DESIRABLE. We often excel at logic, mathematics and analytical thinking. We're honest, sometimes brutally so, but we need more honesty in the world IMHO. Labeling us as having a disorder is arrogant and dehumanizing. I have the right to express my opinion when I say I believe we have been unfairly labeled by those in the psychological profession. They don't understand us. They can't. They're not like us. They are guilty of the same crime as as any group that considers itself superior. And they *DO* consider themselves superior IMHO. They don't relate to us. They see us as different and therefore "abnormal". Who are they to set the standard for what a human personality should be like?
Absolutely. I was talking to a female acquaintance the other day, and she said she went to a psych who assigned her the label "psychopath" because:
- she wouldn't cry during their sessions,
- and she asked for a different psych as she disliked the confrontational way he repeatedly tried to make her cry.

This happened in the UK. She is Finnish. The Finns legendary reserve is not without foundation. Duh.

Many psychs, including that one, would be better employed sweeping the streets IMO.

(FTR, I'm not Aspy. Altho' I've no doubt that I come across as Aspy here on DIMs, that's purely because I chose to shut down pretty much all expression of emotion on this board, post being attacked - on the "protected" FA board no less - for expressing my emotions re. the "challenging" subject of being an FA dealing / failing to deal with a lover's extreme weightloss.
After that shellacking, why would I put my feelings out there again? I'm much, much more careful who I show my emotions to now, especially online. In RL it's much easier for me get a "feel" for what people are like.)
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Old 12-09-2011, 01:15 PM   #43
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I think I've typed this out somewhere on these boards before (maybe on the thread Ruby Ripples started), but I have an idea about autism and FA-ness. It probably is far-fetched, but it isn't a belief of mine, just an interesting linkage to think about.

Those of you familiar with Temple Grandin know about her squeeze box. She feels better when she has total, all over body pressure and touch that her squeeze box gives her. She puts forth the idea that this is because of her autism. I would imagine to a smaller person who feels as Temple Grandin does, that being laid on or otherwise pressed against a much larger person would offer the same sort of pleasure that Temple Grandin's squeeze box gives her.

I'm not saying anything about percentages of FAs that are on the autism spectrum, just that I wonder if Temple Grandin would have needed a squeeze box if she was partnered with a fat person.
Doesn't a good hug make pretty much everyone feel better?
I'm sure I read somewhere hugs lower blood pressue etc...
Humans are tactile creatures, after all.
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Old 12-09-2011, 01:59 PM   #44
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Doesn't a good hug make pretty much everyone feel better?
I'm sure I read somewhere hugs lower blood pressue etc...
Humans are tactile creatures, after all.
True, but my understanding of the autism spectrum is that many forms of human-to-human touch are actually avoided because the stimulation is unpleasant for many people with autism. Temple Grandin, if I recall, is unable to have human touch, hence the squeeze box.
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Old 12-09-2011, 02:10 PM   #45
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True, but my understanding of the autism spectrum is that many forms of human-to-human touch are actually avoided because the stimulation is unpleasant for many people with autism. Temple Grandin, if I recall, is unable to have human touch, hence the squeeze box.
Oh, ok, I wasn't aware of that (or if I was, I'd forgotten). Wow, touch is such a fundamental thing, that's really sad.
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Old 12-09-2011, 06:14 PM   #46
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I'm not a geek, I don't have aspergers and yet I love fat girls.

Maybe I'm the exception to the rule.
I think you're the one that non-geek FAs should look to to come out of the proverbial closet.
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Old 12-09-2011, 10:38 PM   #47
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I don't know, most aspies I've known have been nearly nonsexual. They are far to obsessed with whatever their particular life interest seems to be.

In most cases its some super geek shit.

Or veterinary medicine.

Either way, I'm attention deficit as hell & definately not an aspie but never the less I enjoy large ladies all the same.

Perhaps FAdom is simply an inherited trait to a certainly degree. My father enjoys the carnal pleasure of breasts larger than a five pound bag of peat moss & I've never known him to give a tall slender girl the eye if you catch my drift.

Then again it could be that a great deal of bbws are in fact nerds themselves & when two nerds comingle their super social awkwardness doubles into a child with aspergurs or what ever.

Anyways, I freezing cold, very drunk, & generally in a pessimistic contrarian mood so my opinion should probably be counted least amongst the annals or anals of sexual orientation research.
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Old 12-09-2011, 10:41 PM   #48
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That last sentence was superb. I applaud you, sir.
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Old 12-09-2011, 11:00 PM   #49
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As a person with Aspergers my sense of touch is hypersensitive. I only wear certain clothing because of how it feels. And I've found the feeling of fat it's self to be something heavenly, it feels like silk to me
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:14 AM   #50
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Just gives me hope, for my future husband & I...

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