Trans

[willowmoon]

The few trans people that I have talked to before have said that they sometimes have to deal with plenty of "chasers" ... not altogether different from what some bbw's have to deal with ... that some of these creepers are solely interested more on a fetish or a thrill level instead of genuinely getting to know the person.

Do any of you that are trans run into this problem? Is it easy to detect these types of people right out of the gate, and as such, do you find it hard to trust potential dates where you have to wonder "why is this guy or girl interested in me? Is it all about my genitals or do they really care to know me?"

[Alicia Rose]

Originally Posted by willowmoon

The few trans people that I have talked to before have said that they sometimes have to deal with plenty of "chasers" ... not altogether different from what some bbw's have to deal with ... that some of these creepers are solely interested more on a fetish or a thrill level instead of genuinely getting to know the person.

Do any of you that are trans run into this problem? Is it easy to detect these types of people right out of the gate, and as such, do you find it hard to trust potential dates where you have to wonder "why is this guy or girl interested in me? Is it all about my genitals or do they really care to know me?"

Ugh, you have no idea! It's not usually easy to tell right off the bat, though every once in a while you have a guy who asks you how big your bits are in the first half hour of conversation... But it's made me rather paranoid about dating men at all. *headdesk*

[CarlaSixx]

As a "border hugger" (lol)... I even get the "chasers" when someone finds out about how I identify.

But what's the funniest to me is the FTMs that try to make me fully one or the other, but saying they're totally into me at the same time. Like... they want either a gf or a bf, but not someone sitting in the middle.

I used to be called a chaser, but no one knew why I gravitated towards trans people before. It just happens that like attracts like. It was more in a friendly way that I would approach people, though some I really did have the hots for, but it's so rare that I'm found flirting that outsiders from the situation mistook my friendly approaches for being flirting.

[Melian]

Originally Posted by willowmoon

The few trans people that I have talked to before have said that they sometimes have to deal with plenty of "chasers" ... not altogether different from what some bbw's have to deal with ... that some of these creepers are solely interested more on a fetish or a thrill level instead of genuinely getting to know the person.

Do any of you that are trans run into this problem? Is it easy to detect these types of people right out of the gate, and as such, do you find it hard to trust potential dates where you have to wonder "why is this guy or girl interested in me? Is it all about my genitals or do they really care to know me?"

A few of my best friends are trans, and they definitely have "chasers." Really bold ones, actually - sometimes randoms will try to feel them up in public! They usually laugh it off, but I bet they go home and shower immediately.

[sowhat]

Originally Posted by willowmoon

The few trans people that I have talked to before have said that they sometimes have to deal with plenty of "chasers" ... not altogether different from what some bbw's have to deal with ... that some of these creepers are solely interested more on a fetish or a thrill level instead of genuinely getting to know the person.

Do any of you that are trans run into this problem? Is it easy to detect these types of people right out of the gate, and as such, do you find it hard to trust potential dates where you have to wonder "why is this guy or girl interested in me? Is it all about my genitals or do they really care to know me?"

Chasers creep me out. I don't want my penis to be what they're interested in. There are overt chasers who'll act like Alicia stated, and there are chasers that take a while to see who they are. I want that girl or guy who isn't excited about me being trans, but can deal with it. This is hard to put into words, meh.

However, if I get felt up in public, I'd prolly be grossed out and get to my car ASAP to GTFO of the there. If I feel in fear of my life from this creep, I've got something that sends small little fragmenting pieces of my love in, through and out their ass.

[Tracii]

I had creepers in the beginning that would ask all sorts of questions.
Some good some bad I chose to stay away from that kind.
As transition got farther along 90% of the people I met only knew me as female so it wasn't all that bad.
I still get some that can "clock" me because my hands are more manly thats something I can't change.The adam's apple thing will get you "clocked" as well.
I say when asked about the adam's apple there are plenty of women that have one just take a look around I'm sure you can find a few.
Males during puberty when the voice changes their adam's apple will drop.
If you hear a woman with a deeper voice dollar to a donut she will have a visible one.
I have no old friends close by so all mine only know the female me and I like it that way.

I wish all of you well on your journey and never give up on your true self.
Alicia you are still cute as a button.

[willowmoon]

Originally Posted by sowhat

Chasers creep me out. I don't want my penis to be what they're interested in. There are overt chasers who'll act like Alicia stated, and there are chasers that take a while to see who they are. I want that girl or guy who isn't excited about me being trans, but can deal with it. This is hard to put into words, meh.

I've been of the opinion that one's gender isn't necessarily based on one's genitalia at birth ... definitely wasn't the most popular of opinions, but hey whatever. At least it seems like some people are starting to embrace the notion a little more nowadays than x number of years ago.

I think I see where you're coming from sowhat .... you'd like a prospective date to actually like you for being "you" first & foremost and build a relationship upon that ... instead of the focus solely about you being trans. It's gotta be frustrating, I would imagine.

[CarlaSixx]

Tracii, you're right I know a few females who have deep voices and an Adam's apple. They're not very big or noticeable, but it's there. So it's not just a man's thing.

[balletguy]

Originally Posted by sowhat

Chasers creep me out. I don't want my penis to be what they're interested in. There are overt chasers who'll act like Alicia stated, and there are chasers that take a while to see who they are. I want that girl or guy who isn't excited about me being trans, but can deal with it. This is hard to put into words, meh.

However, if I get felt up in public, I'd prolly be grossed out and get to my car ASAP to GTFO of the there. If I feel in fear of my life from this creep, I've got something that sends small little fragmenting pieces of my love in, through and out their ass.

Good Luck, I am sure it can me tough. I have a friend who is dealing with the same stuff and has the same reaction. Best Wishes with everything

[max_bialystock]

I've found that talking about how gender reassignment surgery is in my future, followed by a graphic description of the process works wonders at curbing interests.

[Alicia Rose]

Originally Posted by max_bialystock

I've found that talking about how gender reassignment surgery is in my future, followed by a graphic description of the process works wonders at curbing interests.

Heh, I'd worry that it'd curb my interest in the surgery... the thought of invasive surgical procedures SEVERELY squicks me out, and I've been coping by simply not thinking about it.

[max_bialystock]

I fully intend to be sedated when I go under the knife.
Go to sleep.
Wake-up after a visit from the vagina fairy.

[Alicia Rose]

Originally Posted by max_bialystock

I fully intend to be sedated when I go under the knife.
Go to sleep.
Wake-up after a visit from the vagina fairy.

Me too. I can't imagine anyone actually staying awake for it though. I just want to go to sleep and wake up four or so hours later, and load up on painkillers for the next month

[sammy1nz]

Creepy chasers? OMG!! I pass easily but, of course, some people know. I get hit on sometimes relentessly at a party where word gets out. I've been sexually assaulted four times in four years. I guess I do understand the fascination with trans people. I had it myself until I transitioned. But often I find it makes otherwise well-behaved people act inappropriately. And it's not just men. Two of the assaults were by women. Neither of them were particularly bad - one was just a sneaky unauthorised breast grope. The other was among a small group of friends and family where one women thought it would be really funny to come behind me, give me a cuddle and then pull my top and bra up, clawing me in the process. I straightened myself out and laughed it off at the time, but I was pretty disappointed and embarrassed. This would not have happened either in the old days as a guy or if I was a regular woman. There is something about being trans that in my view seems to elicit more offensive behaviour than non-trans people suffer.

I've often wondered why it that trans bodies seem to be literally up for grabs. I appreciate that this might be a controversial view and I certainly don't direct it to anyone in this forum which is a safe space to discuss trans issues which, of course, include surgery. But there seems to be an obsession with a lot of post-op trans women to announce their genital status, sometimes even in a first introduction. We've also all seen the TV programs about GRS with graphic footage and interviews. Whenever some trans person sticks his or her head above the trench, there seems to be an immediate inquirty into the state of his or her genitals. Trans people, by talking about their genitals in public have created a culture where people ask inappropriate things and behave in inappropriate ways. Most people don't want to share information about their genitals and don't make inappropriate inquiries about others. But when it comes to trans people and the way we interact with the rest of the world, genitals and surgery seem to a topic for open discussion. So far as I'm concerned, I try to make sure as few people as possible know about my private parts. I keep it on a strict 'needs to know' basis!

[sowhat]

Woohoo! It won't make things great, but it's a step in the right direction:

EEOC ruling that gender-identity discrimination is covered by Title VII...

[Deven]

Has anyone else here seen the adult star Bailey Jay? She is just... gorgeous. I mean... wow.

Here's her Wikipedia site, which you can always use their URLs for her NSFW sites

I worked in a pornstore for a year and a half. I had never seen an adult MTF actress that was as gorgeous as Bailey Jay...

She's also smart, funny, and geeky... I'm in love...

I hope no one takes offense to this post...

[Alicia Rose]

Interestingly, I've found that my dysphoria is often triggered more by other trans women than by cis women. Something like 'oh hey... She's got the same problems that I do and still looks over nine thousand times better'. It's part of what has kept me out of a lot of the Pittsburgh trans community, which kind of sucks. I feel like I'm actively working on that though, as well as other problems, so hopefully soon I'll be in a better mental state.

Originally Posted by DevenDoom

Has anyone else here seen the adult star Bailey Jay? She is just... gorgeous. I mean... wow.

...and then there was dysphoria.

[Deven]

Originally Posted by Alicia Rose

Interestingly, I've found that my dysphoria is often triggered more by other trans women than by cis women. Something like 'oh hey... She's got the same problems that I do and still looks over nine thousand times better'. It's part of what has kept me out of a lot of the Pittsburgh trans community, which kind of sucks. I feel like I'm actively working on that though, as well as other problems, so hopefully soon I'll be in a better mental state.



...and then there was dysphoria.

She's been on hormone blockers (and then hormone therapy) since she was something like 15, I would assume that would have a longer term effect than someone who started the hormone therapy after puberty, not during? She made the transition at a much earlier age than most trans (at least the ones I know,) because I know quite a few don't have a choice until they are 18, or make a decision till after they are of legal age because of their familial ties (some don't approve, religion, fear, etc.) I also think a lot of states don't let kids start the transition, that you have to be 18 to do it... even if your parents consent.

I'm glad you realize that you have to work through it because I feel everyone gets that when they have serious medical things, especially when it triggers changes in your body. Like a woman with breast cancer in a support group who has had a mastectomy: I'm sure she looks at the full breasted counter part and has the same feelings... I know I have it on my hormonal issues.

[Alicia Rose]

Originally Posted by DevenDoom

She's been on hormone blockers (and then hormone therapy) since she was something like 15, I would assume that would have a longer term effect than someone who started the hormone therapy after puberty, not during? She made the transition at a much earlier age than most trans (at least the ones I know,) because I know quite a few don't have a choice until they are 18, or make a decision till after they are of legal age because of their familial ties (some don't approve, religion, fear, etc.) I also think a lot of states don't let kids start the transition, that you have to be 18 to do it... even if your parents consent.

I'm glad you realize that you have to work through it because I feel everyone gets that when they have serious medical things, especially when it triggers changes in your body. Like a woman with breast cancer in a support group who has had a mastectomy: I'm sure she looks at the full breasted counter part and has the same feelings... I know I have it on my hormonal issues.

Part of what upsets me so much is that my parents were always very supportive of me expressing my femininity as a child and would have supported my desire to transition at that time if I'd just had he nerve to say anything about it... Instead I convinced myself that I was an insane freak and bottled it all up for ten years. If I'd started when I first came out to anyone (15) my life would probably be a lot better now. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that.

so yeah... It's part envy, part self-loathing. Yayfun.

[Deven]

Originally Posted by Alicia Rose

Part of what upsets me so much is that my parents were always very supportive of me expressing my femininity as a child and would have supported my desire to transition at that time if I'd just had he nerve to say anything about it... Instead I convinced myself that I was an insane freak and bottled it all up for ten years. If I'd started when I first came out to anyone (15) my life would probably be a lot better now. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that.

so yeah... It's part envy, part self-loathing. Yayfun.

I'm glad your parents support it, at least. It could always be worse in that department. A friend I met through raiding in World of Warcraft (she wasn't in the LGBTQ guild I'm in, but we raided with friends together) announced her transition this past year. Her father was not very supportive of "Ryan" becoming "Natalie."

[Ample Pie]

Originally Posted by Alicia Rose

Part of what upsets me so much is that my parents were always very supportive of me expressing my femininity as a child and would have supported my desire to transition at that time if I'd just had he nerve to say anything about it... Instead I convinced myself that I was an insane freak and bottled it all up for ten years. If I'd started when I first came out to anyone (15) my life would probably be a lot better now. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that.

so yeah... It's part envy, part self-loathing. Yayfun.

You need re-read your own post, my dear.

You're saying that you're angry because you didn't do what you wanted back then. But...is being angry and envious what you want to be NOW? In ten more years, will you look back and think "Hey, I'm really glad that I was angry and envious back then." I bet not. Maybe you got a later start than you want, but that late start tells you something very important: start living the life you want, as best you can, now.

I'm not trying to put you down or yell at you, honestly. I just know that life is short and however long it took you to get to this moment, it's worth it. Go do whatever the fuck will make you look back, in ten more years, and say "Damnit, I'm sure glad I did that."

[max_bialystock]

Two weeks from surgery.
254 pounds when I started three months ago.
Now down to 227 (surgeon required it).
Still a 48DD, but my tummy is a lot softer and squishier.

[prettysummergurl22]

Originally Posted by Tracii

Just wondered how many Transsexual members were here.
FtM-MtF.Just curious.

I am mtf I'm a skinny chick though but am considering gaining some weight I kinda hope that it would help with my breast and hip development and to soften my features some. Has any one tried this?

[KevinW91]

Any room for a plain old MtF crossdresser??