40's Confessions and Observances

Surlysomething · 06-25-2012, 01:01 PM

Man, I know what i'm about in my 40's. There's no denying it.

I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin and pretty much don't give a shit what anyone thinks. Including my family.

Ha.

Tad · 06-25-2012, 03:12 PM

Every other board has one....why not one here too, eh? OK, I'll play along, and I even have something on my mind that is really probably best on this board.

When I hit forty I agreed with myself to give up vanity. I just figured that I was at an age where trying to gain other’s approval of my looks or style or status symbols was just more apt to be foolish than useful.

I’m nearly half way through my forties, and I still struggle with that one. Those brain chemical rewards for that sort of approval still sing their siren song…. Not that there is anything wrong with enjoying it when someone does toss a bit of admiration your way, but the problem is that it feels so good. It makes it so tempting to modify my behaviour in hopes of getting another scrap of praise—and the whole point of trying to give up vanity was to avoid that sort of action.

Anyway, last few weeks, it has been really hard in that regard.

Surlysomething · 06-25-2012, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tad

Every other board has one....why not one here too, eh?

Umm...you don't have to post anywhere, right? It's not like people are jumping to this area of the site so I thought I would start something. So much for that.

Tad · 06-26-2012, 05:44 AM

I was not trying to be snarky--sorry if it came over that way

(and you'll notice that I carried on to actually contribute to the thread). I honestly meant the words as written...just thinking out loud, as it were.

fat hiker · 07-25-2012, 11:29 AM

Does the wanting people's approval ever go away?

Sometimes it does, but those times are mostly when I'm feeling more accepting of myself - or when I already have the approval of others, usually for something I've done, rather than something I am.

Surlysomething · 07-27-2012, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fat hiker

Does the wanting people's approval ever go away?

Sometimes it does, but those times are mostly when I'm feeling more accepting of myself - or when I already have the approval of others, usually for something I've done, rather than something I am.

I think life is a lot easier when you aren't searching for it, that's for sure.

LeoGibson · 07-28-2012, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fat hiker

Does the wanting people's approval ever go away?

I think the answer depends mostly on the person. For myself I reached this point somewhere in my late teens or very early 20's. For others it comes in varying points in your life I think. For some, like my mother, I don't think it ever fully went away for her. Whereas my father I think was born not giving a good damn what anybody else thought. So I guess that's a roundabout way of saying that no two people will hit that 'magic' point at the same time.

lypeaches · 06-12-2013, 10:34 AM

Funny this...just this weekend I listened to Oprah's commencement address at Harvard, and she said something right up this alley. She said that every single person she had ever interviewed, from regular people to CEO's to George Bush to Beyonce, everyone always asked her (in some form or another0, after the interview was over, "Was I ok?".

Which in a weird way I find kind of comforting!

Dromond · 06-13-2013, 11:19 AM

Pride gets in the way. Your life is much easier if you give up on it.

Seeking people's approval is a foolish game. People are fickle and you can lose their approval as fast (or faster!) than you get it.

Trying to be liked by everyone is also foolish. Be true to yourself and let others decide whether they like you or not. Those who don't like you, fuck 'em. They don't matter.

Those are a few things I've learned.

cinnamonkiss · 06-15-2013, 04:48 PM

I have to confess being in my 40's and being a BBW has really given me a sexual high. I can't explain it but I am enjoying myself. I have been the scared most of my life because I am over weight, my younger sister is much smaller but who gives a shit...lol. I enjoy eating and my passion are to eat while being intimate with someone.I have observed my family not really wanting to hang out with me because I like FOOD and I will somehow embarress them at a restraunt when I order my food..

I get my desert and leave them there I know they talk about me but o well more for me.

06-25-2012, 01:01 PM	#1
Surlysomething Vancougar! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 10,166	40's Confessions and Observances Man, I know what i'm about in my 40's. There's no denying it. I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin and pretty much don't give a shit what anyone thinks. Including my family. Ha.

06-25-2012, 03:12 PM	#2
Tad mostly harmless Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,841	Every other board has one....why not one here too, eh? OK, I'll play along, and I even have something on my mind that is really probably best on this board. When I hit forty I agreed with myself to give up vanity. I just figured that I was at an age where trying to gain other’s approval of my looks or style or status symbols was just more apt to be foolish than useful. I’m nearly half way through my forties, and I still struggle with that one. Those brain chemical rewards for that sort of approval still sing their siren song…. Not that there is anything wrong with enjoying it when someone does toss a bit of admiration your way, but the problem is that it feels so good. It makes it so tempting to modify my behaviour in hopes of getting another scrap of praise—and the whole point of trying to give up vanity was to avoid that sort of action. Anyway, last few weeks, it has been really hard in that regard. __________________ “I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity." --Eleanor Roosevelt

06-26-2012, 05:44 AM	#4
Tad mostly harmless Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,841	I was not trying to be snarky--sorry if it came over that way (and you'll notice that I carried on to actually contribute to the thread). I honestly meant the words as written...just thinking out loud, as it were. __________________ “I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity." --Eleanor Roosevelt

07-25-2012, 11:29 AM	#5
fat hiker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Capital of the Great white north Posts: 944	Does the wanting people's approval ever go away? Sometimes it does, but those times are mostly when I'm feeling more accepting of myself - or when I already have the approval of others, usually for something I've done, rather than something I am. __________________ "Eat, Eat! You will gain weight and be more attractive!" - Russian Tour Hostess of the 1980s, as reported in National Geographic

06-13-2013, 11:19 AM	#9
Dromond Oxidane Addict Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Florida, where the tropics are. Posts: 5,878	Pride gets in the way. Your life is much easier if you give up on it. Seeking people's approval is a foolish game. People are fickle and you can lose their approval as fast (or faster!) than you get it. Trying to be liked by everyone is also foolish. Be true to yourself and let others decide whether they like you or not. Those who don't like you, fuck 'em. They don't matter. Those are a few things I've learned. __________________ I am completely shameless.

06-12-2013, 10:34 AM	#8
lypeaches Master Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: new york Posts: 1,436	Funny this...just this weekend I listened to Oprah's commencement address at Harvard, and she said something right up this alley. She said that every single person she had ever interviewed, from regular people to CEO's to George Bush to Beyonce, everyone always asked her (in some form or another0, after the interview was over, "Was I ok?". Which in a weird way I find kind of comforting!

06-15-2013, 04:48 PM	#10
cinnamonkiss Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Pensacola Fl Posts: 9	enjoying me now I have to confess being in my 40's and being a BBW has really given me a sexual high. I can't explain it but I am enjoying myself. I have been the scared most of my life because I am over weight, my younger sister is much smaller but who gives a shit...lol. I enjoy eating and my passion are to eat while being intimate with someone.I have observed my family not really wanting to hang out with me because I like FOOD and I will somehow embarress them at a restraunt when I order my food.. I get my desert and leave them there I know they talk about me but o well more for me.

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