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Old 01-27-2012, 01:31 AM   #26
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My take on it is that almost everyone, including most of those who favor thin partners, has a warm feeling seeing someone special partaking of food they enjoy. But are you so turned on by this that you want to see a partner eating all the time? Some are, it just doesn't happen to be that singular a turn on for myself. I try to get around assumptions people have by talking as clearly about my own particulars as I can.
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Old 06-25-2012, 03:28 AM   #27
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I never knew about feeders or feedees or even fat admirers until I typed in feeders in a search engine and found this site last week. I searched feeders because i've been talking to this guy on Yahoo for about a month now and he told me about it and he said he wasn't one and he found it wrong and so on.

But lately all our conversations seem to be about food and how much I can eat. He wants me to tell him about the times i've been the most full or how much I use to eat as a child. What my favourite foods and junk foods are. The more I tell him about it the sexier he tells me I am. If he wasn't a feeder why would he ask so much food related questions? Especially questions about being the most stuffed.

At first I was intrigued when we first started talking but now its so boring. I'd hate to be in a relationship with a feeder who only wanted to talk about food, how it made me feel and how stuffed I would get. I don't know if he's a closeted feeder or if he knows that being one creeps some women out. Especially the women that are already on the heavier part of the scale like me being 460lbs.
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Old 06-25-2012, 06:55 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by PeanutButterfly View Post
I think there are certain levels to being a feeder. I like weight gain but I wouldn't consider myself a feeder. I like fat guys. I like seeing fat guys get fatter but only to a certain point. As I just posted in another thread my limit would be somewhere in the mid 300s. I don't think I would enjoy encouraging a man past that, although I really wouldn't know as I've never been with someone that big. But I still wouldn't consider myself a feeder. If a guy is already fat when I met him then I'm attracted. If a guy happens to gain weight while I'm with him, added bonus for me. I guess I wouldn't consider myself a feeder because I don't *need* it to be sexually satisfied. Weight gain is just making what I find sexy even sexier.
I would put myself in the same category, genders reversed. I have a theory that feederism may be the result of a culture that insists people have to be thin to be "in". For example, I think it is a lot more culturally acceptable to marry someone who is thin, or only slightly heavy, only to see them gain a lot of weight after they are married, than to marry someone who is already very heavy. So then the fantasy becomes marrying someone who is a little chubby, who then happily gives up on dieting to feast on all the fattening foods that they have always craved, and steadily gains weight as a result. I have no idea if there is any validity to this theory, or if it is just a vain attempt at self justification.

In any event, if I am honest, I have to admit that women eating fattening foods is a turn on for me, if they are doing so of their own free will. Any involvement on my part however, beyond agreeing to buy the extra desert or bake them a cake, to me would be a major turn off. In fact, I'm not really turned on by the idea of a women trying to gain weight on purpose either, if that makes any sense. But if a women gets really fat (but not immobile) just eating what she wants to, when she wants to, that is intensely attractive to me. So would I be considered a feeder or not? Whatever it is, I don't think I can change it.
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Old 06-30-2012, 05:51 PM   #29
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I am definitely an FA and love seeing a gain, but im not a feeder. If my wife happens to eat alot then I let it happen. I dont try to get her to eat more, but if she wants to then I will get her whatever she wants. She has gone from a small 105lbs to a sexy 170ish so far in the past year. She kind of likes it, mainly because it drives me wild. I have noticed she will grab her belly and shake it more often (boingggg) the best part is she is not actively gaining but the pounds keep piling on. Cant wait to see what another year will bring, she has the sexiest belly! (sorry for going off topic)
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Old 07-01-2012, 03:43 PM   #30
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I really dislike that automatically there is stigma or control in a feeder and feedee relationship. That is not always the case, In fact, more often then not the Feedee is the dominant one. The thing about feederism, Is that it isnt a choice, sexuality is not something you can choose. I think that a person can be an FA without being into feederism. I am a feedee, and I am very open about that. And there was a time that I thought that all FAs were into feederism *to a degree* but I was SO wrong. I have dated a few guys who identified as FAs and not as feeders, and man did I shock them bringing ice cream into the bedroom, or asking them to call me fatty!

My feeder puts it well, he says: "Fat girls are my preference, Feederism is my Fetish"
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Old 07-01-2012, 10:39 PM   #31
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Feedism is a spectrum thing. Some people dabble, some people integrate it into their sex lives, some people go all-out CATAPULT FORCE-FEED(tm). I personally think any FA who claims to not be a feeder yet is aroused by the idea of weight gain is a little self-contradictory. You don't have to actually feed someone to be a feeder! One who feeds and one who simply brings food and offers belly rubs are mostly the same, there's just a different level of proactiveness in there.

Being full-blown feedist, I can't really wrap my mind around being JUST an FA. I mean, if you prefer a larger woman than "the norm," doesn't that in itself imply arousal by weight gain?
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Old 07-05-2012, 06:55 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Orange Mage View Post
Feedism is a spectrum thing. Some people dabble, some people integrate it into their sex lives, some people go all-out CATAPULT FORCE-FEED(tm). I personally think any FA who claims to not be a feeder yet is aroused by the idea of weight gain is a little self-contradictory. You don't have to actually feed someone to be a feeder! One who feeds and one who simply brings food and offers belly rubs are mostly the same, there's just a different level of proactiveness in there.

Being full-blown feedist, I can't really wrap my mind around being JUST an FA. I mean, if you prefer a larger woman than "the norm," doesn't that in itself imply arousal by weight gain?
I really like what you've said here!
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Old 07-06-2012, 01:21 AM   #33
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I guess it depends on their perspective really. Almost a determination made on whether they are aware of the community elements or not.

If they aren't aware, then it's generally a non issue since it's not likely to come up.

If they are, then it's just something I consider. I have no reason to just say I am not a feeder or encourager, but I will just have it on my toes to clarify given that the question may come up.

The issue has come up on one occasion with someone I was interested in dating about a year ago.
(Verbatim)

Her: Are you a feeder? Have you ever fed someone you were dating?
Me: I'm not a feeder, but I have fed some of my partners on occasion. It's just out of satisfying my partner, and not something related to my preferences.

And she totally understood where I was coming from.
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Old 07-10-2012, 10:32 AM   #34
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See, I'm at a very weird place--I like eating, and I like watching others eat.
But I'm not interested in weight gain or making someone else gain weight.

Go figure.
It's why I wish there was like a "class designation" for fetishes.
"Feedism, class 1-I like eating, but not interested in gaining weight."

Also I'm very picky about what foods I actually enjoy eating and enjoy seeing others eat.

But mostly I do...avoid the guys who are insistent or overbearingly obsessed with like, getting me to weigh more. I weigh 369--I'm fine with my current weight, I do want to get in shape some more, but I have no wish to get any larger or smaller.
I also don't own a scale, and I purposefully bring up how hard it is for me to find clothes that I like--I also really like cute clothes, and as it is I'm a 3x in all the remotely cute stuff that I can get ahold of. It's not easy the larger you get, so even if a guy would want me to be fatter, I'd let him have it on how much tougher it is to be any larger than I am--I find that a lot of times guys never even give any thought to how he won't be able to bring her to places because of the types of chairs they have or she'll have to get all new clothes because her old one don't fit--it's just something they never even think about in their fetish or in the process of "getting their fix"--it's why I avoid relationships with feeders who specifically want to see weight gain. Yes it's kind of unfair, but when you're insistent on something to the point of completely disregarding how it could affect someone else's life...that doesn't make me feel loved or cared for, just like I'm "something to be used".

I do purposefully have an open discussion of both my fetishes and his fetishes before anything sexual happens. Helps set the boundaries and know what's cool and what's not cool for the bedroom, and if we'll mesh well sexually.
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Old 07-11-2012, 04:05 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nenona View Post
See, I'm at a very weird place--I like eating, and I like watching others eat.
But I'm not interested in weight gain or making someone else gain weight.

Go figure.
It's why I wish there was like a "class designation" for fetishes.
"Feedism, class 1-I like eating, but not interested in gaining weight."

Also I'm very picky about what foods I actually enjoy eating and enjoy seeing others eat.
I made a long-winded post on my Tumblr about this very thing half a year ago. I described Feedism as a buffet where generally you pick and choose what applies to you and there are lots of personal variations but it all falls under feedism. http://theorangemage.tumblr.com/post...fet-of-feedism
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Old 07-11-2012, 06:47 AM   #36
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When I meet a FA online and he makes a point to tell me that he's not a feeder, I tend to do a bit of profile stalkery. If he tells me that I'm beautiful and perfect the way I am and I see that he's commented on a picture of a woman double my size and told her that she has the perfect body is totally his ideal...then yea, I know that he's one of the hidden feeders.

Do I think all FAs are feeders...well, yes and no. I would imagine that if a guy is solely into BBWs then he must have a bit of a feeder inside him, otherwise why fat girls. The degree of it is what makes a the label apply more to some then others. If you like to watch a fat girl eat, then I'd say you have some feeder tendencies. If you like to watch a girl eat, and at the same time are tallying up the amount of calories she is consuming and are already thinking of what else you can get her to add to her caloric intake, then you are one of those hardcore into gaining feeders. The hardcore gaining feeders are the ones I stay away from. They end up being those guys that only want to talk about food and how much of it you are eating....it gets super boring super fast.

To be honest, I have feedee/stuffer tendencies and I actually get a bit bummed when a guy makes a point of saying that he's not a feeder but at the same time I get a bit weary if a guy tells me that he is a feeder. I love the feeding side of this fetish but with my lifestyle being what it is the gaining part of it is something I won't do and from my experience the guys who openly admit to being into feederism can't/won't separate one from the other and the guys who deny any interest in it take out of the equation something that I find to be a huge turn on. I just wish there would be guys out there that like the feeding part without needing the gaining part.
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Old 07-11-2012, 05:51 PM   #37
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We had at least one poll here (of course, now that I think of them, I can't find them) that asked what was it about a woman gaining that turned them on, and options like measuring her, watching her get bigger over time, etc. were offered. The other poll was what was it about a bbw's body that the FA liked best, I think? There are so many, they're a blur. I'd swear the first one was opened by Orange Mage, though. Anyhoo, a fair number of FAs said they're not into the gaining/feeding aspect whatsoever. They like a bigger woman, full stop.

I'm attracted to fat guys and average size guys. Since coming to Dims I wondered if I myself had a bit of a feeder tendency because I like to cook a nice meal and watch my friends enjoy it but now, not so much. I think it would be nice for feedists to think that anyone who gets emotional satisfaction from someone enjoying the gift of food is a feeder, but that may just be an opinion or wishful thinking. I think it's a jump to like or want a bigger person and assume you or the admirer must therefore be a feeder. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and not a fetish or preference. I like fat guys. I'm not a feeder in any way, shape or form. Whatever floats your boat, float it. I don't see that they MUST be linked together on a staggered feeder scale and I know enough men AND women who love fat partners, who aren't aroused by the food aspect.
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Old 07-28-2012, 09:24 PM   #38
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I am unsure about the whole "feeder" thing. My bf can gain *ahem* special pleasure from an activity like hand feeding me milk duds. However, I probably would have eaten the milk duds anyway and it is a small box. He is happy with my weight where it is and is not trying to get me to gain. Is he a feeder because he so enjoys feeding me or is he not a feeder because I am not being pressured to gain weight and it is not a focus of our relationship?
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:48 AM   #39
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Deanna: Feeder/not-feeder is not really a binary thing, where you are or you aren't--at least not any more so than, say, being a sports fan. It sounds like your boyfriend enjoys helping you indulge in treats, or likes being part of your enjoyment. That is the case for many people who would be considered feeders, but not all (some are only about the weight gain and could care less about the enjoyment of food). But so long as he is not pressing for more and more, so long as he is essentially enjoying what you choose to do, then I wouldn't worry too much.

The best I could really say is that, like in any relationship, you need to keep an eye on what you want versus what your partner wants, and be clear in your mind when you are pleasing yourself versus pleasing him (which can be enjoyable in its own right, but is a different thing all the same), and make sure not to drift into habits and lifestyles that don't please you, at least not without consciously weighing out the why behind making that choice.

But note that this advice can apply equally to drinking, visiting relatives, what to do on Saturday night, home decor, etc, as it does food choices, activity, and weight.

As long as you can be clear on what works for you, it sounds like things should be good
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