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Old 03-21-2010, 04:41 PM   #51
Weirdo890
 
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"Ladies, ladies, there is plenty of me to go around."

"I've been offered the chance to pose for Playgirl."

"I am loved for who I am, not in spite of it."
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Old 03-21-2010, 05:35 PM   #52
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"You going to finish that?"
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:12 PM   #53
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"I'll have to turn that down; I've already accepted a role in 'Henry V' at Stratford."
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Old 08-09-2012, 06:09 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fat hiker View Post
"I'll have to turn that down; I've already accepted a role in 'Henry IV' at Stratford."
And all of today's awesomes are belong to you.
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Old 08-09-2012, 06:25 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Lady View Post
And all of today's awesomes are belong to you.
is that because they typed 'henry V' or because they resurrected a two year old thread? Or is the combo why they get all of today's awesomes
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Old 08-09-2012, 06:37 PM   #56
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is that because they typed 'henry V' or because they resurrected a two year old thread? Or is the combo why they get all of today's awesomes
Three words: muthafuckin' Falstaff reference.
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Old 08-09-2012, 10:54 PM   #57
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For me, the list is pretty familiar:

"Mm! Mm, no thanks. I'm stuffed! Well, maybe some dessert..."

"I'm glad it felt good to you, hon. It felt great for me! Now how's about some snuggling before we go again?"

"Guess I need the next size up or so."

"Good morning, boss!" (Still looking for work, yes.)
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Old 08-10-2012, 03:03 AM   #58
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*looks down* " oh there are my shoes"

"so much choice of great clothing at a good price that fit me perfectly"

"These narrow bucket seats fit me like a glove"

"No no ladies, I am taken"

"Oh go on I'll have seconds of that delicious food, I need fattening up"
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Old 08-11-2012, 04:37 AM   #59
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"These rollercoaster seats are really accommodating."
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Old 08-11-2012, 04:48 AM   #60
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"Why yes, you all are showering me with the amount of attention I deserve"
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:02 AM   #61
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Default Lifting up t-shirt and saying....

"Four years of college and this is all I have to show for it", while jiggling my beer belly.
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Old 09-09-2012, 04:29 PM   #62
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'That's what I like about these high school girls; I get older, they stay the same age.'

No wait...I do say that, a lot. Probably explains that court order banning me from going within 100 yards of the local 6th form.
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Old 09-09-2012, 04:33 PM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrBob View Post
'That's what I like about these high school girls; I get older, they stay the same age.'

No wait...I do say that, a lot. Probably explains that court order banning me from going within 100 yards of the local 6th form.
I feel icky thinking about under 21 year olds in that way.
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Old 09-09-2012, 04:39 PM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasquatch! View Post
I feel icky thinking about under 21 year olds in that way.
So should I probably...perhaps it's the uniform or the pictures in the Daily Mail of them jumping gleefully in the air on A-level results day....I should get help!
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Old 09-10-2012, 05:57 AM   #65
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Dessert menu? One of each please.
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Old 09-10-2012, 03:58 PM   #66
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"I was only saying those things to get attention--I am actually rather unhappy and have no intention of following through with my broadcasted statements"
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Old 09-14-2012, 02:07 AM   #67
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1. Yes that was me you seen on the Calvin klein underwear billboard
2. Did You see how that gust wind almost knocked me down
3.We need to Add more sand bags to this hot air balloon so wed don't go so high.
4.Does this shirt make me look fat or should I Put the medium one on
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:53 PM   #68
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It's okay. People confuse me with Adam Levine ALL THE TIME.

This was actually said to me by a really cute BHM who was discussing Maroon5 with me. Unfortunately for me, he's into thin women.
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Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
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Old 09-14-2012, 09:17 PM   #69
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How much is the salary? Sure, I can start tomorrow!
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Old 07-21-2015, 06:36 PM   #70
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"They're casting me as a superhero in the next Marvel Comics summer blockbuster."
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Old 02-12-2016, 01:15 PM   #71
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"Driver, hold up a minute; you'll have no problems with traction once me and all my fat bros here move to the back of the bus."
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Old 02-14-2016, 04:41 PM   #72
BigChaz
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"I didn't know it was gonna kill her"
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Old 12-01-2016, 03:12 PM   #73
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"I think they hired me on account of how good I look in a suit."
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Old 03-27-2017, 07:47 PM   #74
Wanderer
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Originally Posted by Fatgator View Post
"Wait wait wait, you're going to deliver the pizza straight to my window?"
They're working on it...
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Old 03-28-2017, 03:54 PM   #75
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Quote:
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And as for the little wheeled robot delivering the pizza and Coke - better save that for neighbourhoods without any criminals, eh what?
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