Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Weight Board > Weight Gain



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-14-2012, 06:15 PM   #1
shygirl
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 23
shygirl has said some nice things
Default Deciding to gain. Again?

Hello everybody!

I guess I've been hanging around this place for a while now, though rarely post. It's an on-and-off thing for me, and I guess I go through phases.

But I'm at another one of life's crossroads and figured I'd ask if there have been people who've been in my shoes, and if they could offer any advice.

My history: I was a chunky kid, who turned into a chunky teenager, who turned into a chunky adult. I've accepted that I will always be fat to some degree. As a teenager, I was very self-concious about my weight thanks to a mother who insisted that I diet and get skinny. When I was 17 (and 205lbs), I went on a diet and got down to 179lbs, my lowest 'adult' weight. After becoming fed up (and even more self-concious about the comments about how much weight I'd lost), I gave up, and slowly the weight started to pile back on. Between my last year of high-school and my two years of college, I managed to gain just over 50lbs, to my all-time high of 232lbs (I'm 5'6"). I guess I was semi-actively gaining... I'd purposely go on binges, grabbing fast foods on my way home from work at 10pm at night, stuff with fattening foods before going to bed, and just not care. I loved getting softer and dreamed of getting a good flabby belly, despite the bulk of my weight accumulating in my hips and thighs. But then, about two years ago, I suddenly decided to start eating healthier, and the nature of my work required me to get a lot of walking in (and just generally more physical activity that I had been used to prior). I lost a bunch of weight, and found myself at 182lbs. I felt good and thought I looked good... But there was always that desire to just be fat.

Now, I've gone through a bit of a rough patch these past few months, and with my lack of wanting to leave the house and eating poorly again, I've gained almost 10lbs in about two months. It doesn't bother me, but I feel a bit of a different in my thighs and tummy. I like it, though I'm extremely conflicted.

Lately, I've been seriously fantasizing about gaining weight again big time, but there's that little voice in the back of my head telling me that I shouldn't because I put so much work into getting healthier. It would be for myself - I've got no significant other - but I can already hear the criticism from my mother and comments from people once I start putting on weight again. I should add that I'm active in my community and spend a bit of time in the public eye around town for various things. I've never been able to handle comments (good or bad) about myself when they're directed towards my physical appearance.

It's just an idea I'm struggling with. I don't have a goal set in mind per se, but maybe slowly creep back up to 200lbs and take it from there. I did have a previous goal of 23olbs (and I made it!), but I think the highest I'd ever let myself get to would be 250lbs.

What do you guys think? Has anybody ever gained and lost and wanted to gain again? What did you do?

Thanks.
shygirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2012, 06:14 AM   #2
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,428
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Just a couple of quick comments (sorry for the short response to the long post!)

1) Gaining weight doesn't have to mean giving up what you've done to be healthy. You can keep active, and keep eating healthy foods.....just more of them (OK, if part of the fantasy, for you, is being less active and eating more junk food, that would change things)

2) I've not had such big swings as you, but yes, my whole adult life I've been struggling to reconcile, on the one hand the desire to be fat and the joy of not worrying about weight, and on the other hand the desire to please those around me, to be physically capable of doing hard things, to have an easier time with clothes, and all those usual pressures. However I suck at losing weight, so the biggest swing I've had is twenty pounds, and that took two and a half years to lose. A couple of times I've thrown caution to the wind and rapidly gained ten pounds, but I've always chickened out after that and gone back into maintaining mode.

I guess the one thing I can say from my experience is that none of the desire seem to go away, either over time or over weight variations. Perhaps after satisfying one set for a while they get a little less strong, making it easier to prioritize the others for a while, but it is at most a pretty marginal shift.

Good luck figuring out what works for you, and enjoy whatever you choose!
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-17-2012, 05:37 AM   #3
shygirl
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 23
shygirl has said some nice things
Default

I decided to give myself one week. One week of binging and intentionally trying to put on weight. I don't know how much (the scale will tell me on Monday!), but it's been a good, calorie-laden, stuffed past couple of days. Eating lots of the things I know I shouldn't be eating. OH WELL! (My favourite part has been when I was out for dinner with some friends at a local Greek place that gives massive portions. I cleared my plate while my friends noticed and commented that I was a champ, because they couldn't finish theirs. Little did they know my intentions and that that comment was only means of encouragement for me... Also that I could have still helped them their plates!).

Only thing so far? I wish I took a few before pics. I'll take some now mid-binge and a few when it's over.
shygirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-2012, 03:47 PM   #4
bobsjers
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 86
bobsjers has said some nice things
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shygirl View Post
Hello everybody!

I guess I've been hanging around this place for a while now, though rarely post. It's an on-and-off thing for me, and I guess I go through phases.

But I'm at another one of life's crossroads and figured I'd ask if there have been people who've been in my shoes, and if they could offer any advice.

My history: I was a chunky kid, who turned into a chunky teenager, who turned into a chunky adult. I've accepted that I will always be fat to some degree. As a teenager, I was very self-concious about my weight thanks to a mother who insisted that I diet and get skinny. When I was 17 (and 205lbs), I went on a diet and got down to 179lbs, my lowest 'adult' weight. After becoming fed up (and even more self-concious about the comments about how much weight I'd lost), I gave up, and slowly the weight started to pile back on. Between my last year of high-school and my two years of college, I managed to gain just over 50lbs, to my all-time high of 232lbs (I'm 5'6"). I guess I was semi-actively gaining... I'd purposely go on binges, grabbing fast foods on my way home from work at 10pm at night, stuff with fattening foods before going to bed, and just not care. I loved getting softer and dreamed of getting a good flabby belly, despite the bulk of my weight accumulating in my hips and thighs. But then, about two years ago, I suddenly decided to start eating healthier, and the nature of my work required me to get a lot of walking in (and just generally more physical activity that I had been used to prior). I lost a bunch of weight, and found myself at 182lbs. I felt good and thought I looked good... But there was always that desire to just be fat.

Now, I've gone through a bit of a rough patch these past few months, and with my lack of wanting to leave the house and eating poorly again, I've gained almost 10lbs in about two months. It doesn't bother me, but I feel a bit of a different in my thighs and tummy. I like it, though I'm extremely conflicted.

Lately, I've been seriously fantasizing about gaining weight again big time, but there's that little voice in the back of my head telling me that I shouldn't because I put so much work into getting healthier. It would be for myself - I've got no significant other - but I can already hear the criticism from my mother and comments from people once I start putting on weight again. I should add that I'm active in my community and spend a bit of time in the public eye around town for various things. I've never been able to handle comments (good or bad) about myself when they're directed towards my physical appearance.

It's just an idea I'm struggling with. I don't have a goal set in mind per se, but maybe slowly creep back up to 200lbs and take it from there. I did have a previous goal of 23olbs (and I made it!), but I think the highest I'd ever let myself get to would be 250lbs.

What do you guys think? Has anybody ever gained and lost and wanted to gain again? What did you do?

Thanks.
If it is really something you want to do, go for it!

I assume you are over 18, so your mother does not need to control your life. Blow it off the first couple of times, saying something like "I'm perfectly happy the way I am." If that does not work, just inform her that your weight or eating is not open for discussion or comments.

As far as healthy, be as healthy as you can. It is better to live 40 more years being happy, than 30 more years not being happy. And chances are it won't make much difference anyway. Doctors like to make things sounds worse than they really are.

Most people I have chatted with, are in a postion like you. Most of the time, they love gaining, and keep raising their goals. And yes, it is very common for people to purposely gain after losing.

Enjoy the weekend, and keep us informed.
bobsjers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-2012, 08:24 PM   #5
shygirl
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 23
shygirl has said some nice things
Default

Thanks.

How do you post pictures?

I'm finished my week. I ate A LOT of food. I enjoyed myself, but I couldn't get past the feeling of it all being just one big guilty pleasure.

However, at the start of this binge, I weighed exactly 190lbs. I weighed myself this morning, and I was 195. So whether it be fat or water weight or whatever, I gained 5lbs. Again, I found pleasure in this, secretly of course, but got kind of freaked out.

Do I feel a difference? A bit yes -not a huge difference, obviously, but in my tummy (it definitely feels a bit squishier) and in my thighs and legs. I don't think the difference is big enough for other people to notice, but I feel the subtle changes.

However... I've decided that I'm going to stop. I don't think now's the right time, and I still feel too guilty to actively do this.

For now I'll just sit along the sidelines, enjoying other people's gains.

(You live, you learn - right?)
shygirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2012, 04:21 AM   #6
Danniel.Vincent
 
Danniel.Vincent's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Germany
Posts: 409
Danniel.Vincent can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesDanniel.Vincent can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

well might i ask why you feel guilty?

i mean to think that it's not the right time, okay, but feeling guilty by changing your body how you like it and perhaps feel even better with??

i think then a fitness-freak should feel guilty too, the only difference is that he goes in the oppisite direction of those two ways...

Danniel.Vincent is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2012, 08:36 PM   #7
weezer1717
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 4
weezer1717 has said some nice things
Default

Hey, Shygirl, I'm in Ottawa, I remember a while back you mentioned you were just outside of Ottawa. Anyway maybe we could chat sometime seeing as we have similar interests regarding this. Feel free to send me a PM
weezer1717 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2012, 12:33 PM   #8
s!gma
 
s!gma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 90
s!gma can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shygirl View Post
Thanks.

How do you post pictures?

I'm finished my week. I ate A LOT of food. I enjoyed myself, but I couldn't get past the feeling of it all being just one big guilty pleasure.

However, at the start of this binge, I weighed exactly 190lbs. I weighed myself this morning, and I was 195. So whether it be fat or water weight or whatever, I gained 5lbs. Again, I found pleasure in this, secretly of course, but got kind of freaked out.

Do I feel a difference? A bit yes -not a huge difference, obviously, but in my tummy (it definitely feels a bit squishier) and in my thighs and legs. I don't think the difference is big enough for other people to notice, but I feel the subtle changes.

However... I've decided that I'm going to stop. I don't think now's the right time, and I still feel too guilty to actively do this.

For now I'll just sit along the sidelines, enjoying other people's gains.

(You live, you learn - right?)
click the little mountain picture when you are typing a message to post a pic.

Whatever you decide to do is cool as long as you are comfortable with it. But I am a little interested/concerned when you said it scared you, do you know why that is? was it your favorite pants?

I don't mean to make light of your feelings but you mentioned that when you were younger you were 209, so I'm just wondering what discouraged you
s!gma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2012, 10:56 PM   #9
mediaboy
 
mediaboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The corner of Hell & Holarity - pinky out, Mother Fucker
Posts: 995
mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!mediaboy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

No wait, don't do it!
__________________
"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."
Oscar Wilde
mediaboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 05:04 PM   #10
extra_m13
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Mexico
Posts: 10,484
extra_m13 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesextra_m13 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesextra_m13 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default gain

1st of all i agree with the... gaining weight doesnt equal being unhealthy comment. you can do it from a healthy perspective which means not only fastfood but some other options.

personally i have a thing for woman gaining weight so im a little biased in telling you to go to 250,enjoy every meal to the max and take it from there.
extra_m13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:12 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.