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Old 02-22-2010, 06:22 AM   #26
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I used to be one of those self-loathing fatties, and I can honestly say that to have my 'fatness' thrust in my face regularly by a partner would have probably my worst nightmare. Even though a fat loving partner would have been doing it out of sheer adoration, it would have just pushed me right over the edge. I think, personally, if somebody is going to go on a journey of self-acceptance, they have to tackle it in their own time, on their own terms, being coerced into it could end up in disaster I think.

I also think, when your in that state of self-loathing, if you are so adamantly self deprecating about yourself, you look for people who kind of support your view, in some warped way to validate what you feel, even though you hate it. I used to do it. I would constantly barage an ex boyfriend of mine with 'Oh my god, Im so fat and disgusting, and I know your grossed out by me arent you, arent you?! And no matter how much he would tell me he loved me as I was, I would never ever ever believe it. So I honestly do agree with what Carrie said, 'Stop trying to convince reluctant fatties they're beautiful when there are fatties out there who already know it.'

If someone wants to change, they can only do it themselves..........
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Old 02-22-2010, 07:13 AM   #27
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So I honestly do agree with what Carrie said, 'Stop trying to convince reluctant fatties they're beautiful when there are fatties out there who already know it.'
If someone wants to change, they can only do it themselves..........

Don't Worry...if she were "Reluctant"...I would NOT be with her ...
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:07 AM   #28
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I seem to have just picked up on a trend here on Dims.

Its the closet FA/FFA admirer. It likes they want you to be into them sexually and not mention the fact that you are a FA/FFA or lie about where you actually meet or that they look up FA/FFA's to hook up with. Whats with the double standard? As a FA/FFA have you encountered this?
I'm dating a girl who is a FA I have no problem at all if people know she is a FA, I'm never to worried about what people think. But many times I've had girls who didn't want anyone to know they were dating me which really sucks. I'm 6'5 500 pounds I'm way to be big to be someones secret
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Old 08-12-2012, 04:21 AM   #29
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I'm dating a girl who is a FA I have no problem at all if people know she is a FA, I'm never to worried about what people think. But many times I've had girls who didn't want anyone to know they were dating me which really sucks. I'm 6'5 500 pounds I'm way to be big to be someones secret
The last two guys I flirted with went on diets..wth
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Old 08-12-2012, 05:28 AM   #30
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im a closeted bbw adinire im scared what family and friends think. i mean my dream girl is a ssbbw. this my story if you guys dont mind me sharing....


im 23 and i adimire ssbbws and bbws since day one. i remember as a kid seeing bbws and admiring them, i always love them since i was 8, i remember as a kid i would google bbws and ssbbws and glimpse their bodies and i attract i was to them.
my dream girl was always a bbw i can feed, take care and love. i love big girls with all my heart the fatter they are the more sexy i find them attract. i mean when i see a 500+ gal i cant help but love them, watching a girl eat and just feel proud of herself has always been sexy.
the girl i would love to be with will always has to be a ssbbw and mean a ssbbw, 600+ who needs to be love, thats girl i want to be, a BIG girl who needs to feel love and be shown it. someone who can eat as munch as she can and dont be afraid. thats the girl i want, fuck skinny girls give me a big fat thick whatever u call it gal.
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Old 08-12-2012, 10:17 PM   #31
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The last two guys I flirted with went on diets..wth
I don't even know what that is! Haha When I was born I was 23 & half inches tall & weighed 10 pounds, I was born to be big & thats the way I'm staying
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Old 08-12-2012, 10:19 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by eazyridinmojo View Post
im a closeted bbw adinire im scared what family and friends think. i mean my dream girl is a ssbbw. this my story if you guys dont mind me sharing....


im 23 and i adimire ssbbws and bbws since day one. i remember as a kid seeing bbws and admiring them, i always love them since i was 8, i remember as a kid i would google bbws and ssbbws and glimpse their bodies and i attract i was to them.
my dream girl was always a bbw i can feed, take care and love. i love big girls with all my heart the fatter they are the more sexy i find them attract. i mean when i see a 500+ gal i cant help but love them, watching a girl eat and just feel proud of herself has always been sexy.
the girl i would love to be with will always has to be a ssbbw and mean a ssbbw, 600+ who needs to be love, thats girl i want to be, a BIG girl who needs to feel love and be shown it. someone who can eat as munch as she can and dont be afraid. thats the girl i want, fuck skinny girls give me a big fat thick whatever u call it gal.
spend your whole life worrying about what other people think you will never find true happiness. If someone judges you because you like big girls then you don't need them in your life. Be brave & yell I love fat chicks so the whole world can hear it!!!
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Old 08-14-2012, 12:36 AM   #33
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spend your whole life worrying about what other people think you will never find true happiness. If someone judges you because you like big girls then you don't need them in your life. Be brave & yell I love fat chicks so the whole world can hear it!!!
All I can say is ...AGREED!
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Old 08-17-2012, 08:52 PM   #34
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All I can say is ...AGREED!
I second that- be a real man and be seen with us in public. Hate these f*cking wimps who want to fool around with you but only in the privacy of their bedrooms. You bastards!!!!!
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Old 08-18-2012, 06:11 AM   #35
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I'd love to quote several of you here, but I'm not all that good with this. .so I'll suffice to say, this is indeed a great thread.

I'll also admit to being "closeted" for a brief time, thankfully it was brief, the first step out into the light is always the most frightening. . Even so, no matter how hard you try to avoid people who want to make comments you'll never totally escape them. You learn how to deal with them. . or you can go back in the closet.

There are lots of things in life that are uncertain, but that doesn't mean you have to hide from it. . You can go places and do things with your love be they BHM/BBW you just have to be willing to do it!

I've heard pride is a sin. . yet where is there fault in being proud of the BBW/BHM you have fallen for. Fact is, you honor them with your pride of them. Being out in public with them shows that pride in it's full potential. . I for one say go for it. .

I meant to keep this shorter but oh well. .
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Old 08-19-2012, 07:34 PM   #36
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Even as a fat woman though I can understand this, BUT:

It wasn't until recent years that I started to love my body and be proud of who I am. I feared the public eye and what people were saying about me, the stares and so on. These all stem from judgments about my size as a child and as an adult (like most of us). When I realized AND BELIEVED that I am a big, beautiful, sexy, all around attractive woman my fears started to fade. I was wasting MY LIFE for so long and it made sick to think that is was all because of FEAR OF OTHERS JUDGMENTS.

We aren't ALL here on this planet to be thin, fit, athletic, victoria secret models. Could you imagine how BORING life would be if we were all the same size? We are here to love, learn from our mistakes, laugh, and appreciate what time we have in this life.

I love my body, truly love it. There isn't a varicose vein I want to rid myself of or a roll out of place. THIS IS ME, and people who want to judge me based on my body will never get to know the beautiful personality inside! Too bad for them!!!

Point being I do understand the fears of society and judgement but honestly and whole heartily, anyone out there who is ashamed of who they are attracted to, or how they look, STOP, THINK, and LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. Not your brain, not society, not America's Next Top Model, but your Heart! Those people you fear are judging you have their own insecurities, and my mama told me that long ago! Besides, do you really want judgmental people in your life? Or people who love and appreciate you for who you are?
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Old 08-26-2012, 08:06 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Melian View Post
I can't speak for Dims relationships (never having been involved with anyone from the site), but this has happened to me IRL. There have been 1-2 guys who wanted to date me, but then suddenly changed their minds when they discovered that I was an FFA. After we got together and they realized that I was not only aroused by their fat, but would love it if they got fatter, they decided that I had a problem.
Yeah, I've been there. A girl I had a crush on recently told me that I must "have serious issues" if I would be sexually attracted to someone mainly because of her size. My first girlfriend told me that once, too. It was right around the time we broke up.

I'm just going to second all the people saying to avoid the shit out of relationships with people like that. You can keep them as friends, but don't expect them to understand this aspect of you, and be ready to cut them out of your life if they start treating you like a mental case.

I've noticed that once you reach the point where you're open and experienced enough with talking about your FAism to mention it to potential dates (hint, don't use that term) you'll be able to weed out a lot of the ones who shouldn't be with an FA/FFA way faster.

They'll be the ones who start talking about diet plans or gastric bypass the minute you mention you like fat girls/guys.
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:53 AM   #38
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I used to feel ashamed in public although I love my wife dearly, but this shame is long gone. When we met, she was chubby, but not really fat. I have always loved her. As she gained weight massively (about 120 lbs), I got more and more excited and I discovered that I am a FA. I loved here also because she's fat just as she loves me because of my eyes. These "becauses" are not exclusive of course.

Some people reveal what they think: They think I want her to lose weight and that I love her despite her weight. And I reply: No, I love her also because she's fat and she replies the same. That honesty sort of shocks people, but at least they shut up and our self-esteem grows.

I truly have become proud of being married to a BBW.
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:55 AM   #39
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We aren't ALL here on this planet to be thin, fit, athletic, victoria secret models. Could you imagine how BORING life would be if we were all the same size? We are here to love, learn from our mistakes, laugh, and appreciate what time we have in this life.
Exactly!
Love the whole post, but this part in particular. It would honestly be quite a shame if everyone had the same body type. Even as an FFA that personally finds the size difference between a girl and a guy specifically attractive, I can't imagine all guys being big and all girls being tiny and skinny. Who would I be to enforce such a standard on the rest of the world anyway?!

But for this thread, I guess that's a bit of a rabbit trail so let me add that I actually love being with a BHM in any kind of setting that's more public. I would imagine it might be a bit different for male FAs, but I've never gotten any flak for it... but I have some good comebacks handy, juuust in case.
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Old 10-17-2012, 11:27 AM   #40
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I get quite saddened about how comfortable so many people feel in publicly making negative comment about weight. My ex would be accosted by friends and family asking rather insensitive questions about me. I can understand how difficult it can be to come out as a FA, how some may fear the negative views of their peers...... but lets not let the judgemental, narrow minded masses dictate how we live.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:13 AM   #41
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All of this closeted business pisses me off. How would you feel if the tables were turned and someone was embarrassed to be seen with YOU in public? Pretty crappy, right? Grow up, stop being a child and worrying about what other people think of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you can't do it then leave us alone.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:26 PM   #42
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Don't be a coward. If you have friends that make fun of you or cannot respect you enough, despite not understanding you, to be happy for you, then they're not friends enough. I proudly show off my BBW wife in public, my friends know my preference, and my douchebag cousin makes fun of me for it, but again, that's why he's the D-Bag, right? You can let other people dictate your life, or you can live your life and be happy on your own terms.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:31 PM   #43
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nevermind....
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Old 10-20-2012, 06:24 AM   #44
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im a closeted bbw adinire im scared what family and friends think. i mean my dream girl is a ssbbw. ......
This closet thing of FAness is ridiculous, nothing else. I can assure you millions of men are into chubby or fat women. You are not alone with your desire for a fat partner.
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Old 10-20-2012, 02:00 PM   #45
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This! Thank you!!!!
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