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Old 10-22-2012, 07:01 PM   #1
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Usually I would write this in my journal of supression, but I figured hey might as well be critiqued on Dimensions lol... Anyways I'm an FA, and a Feeder(And no, I'm not a feeder, because I'm pure evil. I just am) Trust me I wish I could change it, but I can't. From the second I felt physical attraction towards women, my eyes wondered to the biggest ones. I love everything about a massively fat woman. From chubby fingers, and double chins, to huge bellies and thighs, I find the BBW and SSBBW body to be a work of pure art. Now for my dilemma. I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years now, and love her more than life itself. I'd do anything for her, including suppressing my sexuality. Don't get me wrong I find my girlfriend beautiful inside and out, but I can't help myself from thinking it. I wish she was bigger. I wish she'd gain weight. I wish I could feed her, stuff her, etc... It drives me CRAZY!!! I want so much just to love her for her, but I can't stop the thoughts from coming... It's just a lame situation. I really don't know if I'm venting, or looking for advice. I guess a little of both. I understand it's a hard world for overweight women, but I wish this community talked a little more sometimes about how hard it can be as a man who loves them. Most heavy and thin women I've encountered don't like FA's. Thinking we are just a bunch of fetishized weirdo's who are either trying to keep them from their dream of being thin, or ruin their life by making them fat. Maybe I'm just whining. Maybe I just want my cake, and want to eat it too. Maybe I wish asking a partner to gain weight was looked at just as acceptably in society as asking one to lose it. Maybe I wish I was normal, or maybe I wish finding a 600lb woman attractive was considered normal. In all honesty though I just wish I was different. I wish I could look at my girlfriends body and my dumb ass penis could just be satisfied. I know that's not possible though, I'll always find fat women attractive, it's who I am, it's who I was born as. I'm a fat admirer, I find fat women attractive. I'm with a thin girl, I wish I could share my sexuality with her. I love her.
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Old 10-30-2012, 06:48 PM   #2
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AnFA, I can relate to your issues, being a fellow hetero male BBW lover.
You highlighted the three issues that many FAs deal with at some point in their lives:

One: Coming to terms with your preference for bigger women.

Two: The FA in a relationship with a non-BBW.

Three: Feeding desires, where we desire our partners to gain weight, knowing the health risk.


So let's knock off the first one; that is easy.

Coming to Terms:

You did not indicate your age, so I am guessing you are closer to 20 than 50 years old. As a teen or young adult, you may feel insecure about your nature as an FA against the social conventions of beauty. Eventually you will figure out the significant insignificance of your preference. Men have physical preferences, and simply put, you like big, curvy, and comfortably full-figured women. Me too. Next…

An FA in a relationship with a non-BBW:

AnFA, there are many decision points in your life that you will always look back on; to help, you need to project and look forward as rationally as possible. There is no one but yourself that can give you direction on this. If you asked me “So what would you do if you were in my shoes”, I’d reply that I would not take one step left or right until I’ve looked at those shoes. I want to understand where those shoes have traveled, why the laces are tied a certain way, and the story behind every scuff mark.
I lived a comparable situation for many years. I was aware of my FA nature while married to my petite former wife. There are many factors in a relationship, and I dismissed my preference as the superficial part; pale by comparison to the emotional and intellectual connection. If the latter two connections are strong, you may overlook the physical. But if the emotional and intellectual connection breaks, the physical issue may come back.
No one but you can know how to feel about your girlfriend; know how well she fits with your life.
No one but you can know the intensity of your physical FA desires.

Feeding:

My introspection on this subject reminds me of studying Project Management. How could something with rules and guidelines so simple to understand and abide to be so difficult in real life?
The principle is simple - Dream it if you want, but don’t do it. We accept that intellectually. In practice, while few of us would be classified as “encouragers”, equally few could fall in the category of “discouragers”.
To this day, I do not know how much my FA nature factors in to my failed marriage, or with the success to date of my second and final marriage. Suffice to say, my twin-soul is a pretty BBW. She is quite smart, kind of heart, and very much emotionally tuned in to me as no other person. Her presence in my life affirms my belief in a loving God. I want her by my side for life.
A look at her weight and family history reveals a statistical probability I do not wish to acknowledge. I love her too much to do anything but wish for her health. So when she considered WLS, I fully supported her in my heart. I was confident our emotional and intellectual connection was what mattered most. And when she opted against, I cannot deny that my support for her in that position was mixed with a feeling of relief, joy, and sadness all the same.


AnFA, you need to understand your physical desires of course, but understand more the emotional and intellectual connection to your girlfriend, and play out the future in your head. And this will likely lead you to another difficult task, because an obvious action at some point is to discuss your feelings openly and honestly with your girlfriend; and that in itself is a test in diplomacy that would confound a United Nations ambassador!

Good luck to you. I was faced with the similar fork in the road, and ended up going in both directions, but I cannot even guess as to which path is best for you.

For all the inherent difficulties faced, we FAs do serve a positive purpose in humanity. We exist to remind BBW they can be pretty, sexy, and desirable at any size. We are Adam to their Eve, as God intended.
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Old 10-30-2012, 07:26 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnFa View Post
Usually I would write this in my journal of supression, but I figured hey might as well be critiqued on Dimensions lol... Anyways I'm an FA, and a Feeder(And no, I'm not a feeder, because I'm pure evil. I just am) Trust me I wish I could change it, but I can't. From the second I felt physical attraction towards women, my eyes wondered to the biggest ones. I love everything about a massively fat woman. From chubby fingers, and double chins, to huge bellies and thighs, I find the BBW and SSBBW body to be a work of pure art. Now for my dilemma. I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years now, and love her more than life itself. I'd do anything for her, including suppressing my sexuality. Don't get me wrong I find my girlfriend beautiful inside and out, but I can't help myself from thinking it. I wish she was bigger. I wish she'd gain weight. I wish I could feed her, stuff her, etc... It drives me CRAZY!!! I want so much just to love her for her, but I can't stop the thoughts from coming... It's just a lame situation. I really don't know if I'm venting, or looking for advice. I guess a little of both. I understand it's a hard world for overweight women, but I wish this community talked a little more sometimes about how hard it can be as a man who loves them. Most heavy and thin women I've encountered don't like FA's. Thinking we are just a bunch of fetishized weirdo's who are either trying to keep them from their dream of being thin, or ruin their life by making them fat. Maybe I'm just whining. Maybe I just want my cake, and want to eat it too. Maybe I wish asking a partner to gain weight was looked at just as acceptably in society as asking one to lose it. Maybe I wish I was normal, or maybe I wish finding a 600lb woman attractive was considered normal. In all honesty though I just wish I was different. I wish I could look at my girlfriends body and my dumb ass penis could just be satisfied. I know that's not possible though, I'll always find fat women attractive, it's who I am, it's who I was born as. I'm a fat admirer, I find fat women attractive. I'm with a thin girl, I wish I could share my sexuality with her. I love her.
I think you need to find a way to admit your admiration for fat females to the woman you love.
She's probably picked up on it anyway if you've been together for a length of time.
Get it off your chest and you'll feel better.
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Old 10-31-2012, 03:43 AM   #4
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You know the old saying that the most powerful sex organ is between the ears? There are ways to express your sexuality that won't change how your partner looks.

I think the best thing to do here is to tell her while framing your FA/feeder interests as just sexual. In other words, this is what gets you off. People with all kinds of kinks, turnons and fetishes share them every day. Make it clear to her that you love her and don't want her to change but that there's this element to your sexuality that you want her to help you satisfy. Maybe she'll look at fat/feeder porn with you. Maybe she'll act out roll play fantasy scenes or do an occaisional stuffing. Maybe she'll buy an item of clothing a size or two too small and you can both pretend she got bigger. Maybe she will read enough porn and weigh room fictions to be able to talk you through a hot scenario about her "secret weight gain" fantasies.

I don't know if those ideas would be enough for you, but probably worth a try.
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Old 11-03-2012, 10:11 PM   #5
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I don't think I can add anything substantial to OneFAsView's post. It is a very thoughtful and articulate reply. All I can add is a bit of commiseration. I am a life long FA and thought I had finally married the right woman after two failed marriages.

The first one we were just far too young and not really well suited for each other, but we parted, and still are, friends. #2 was a goddess! A 300 pound, hour glass shaped beauty, but a psychotic b!#@h.

Finally I met my current wife. She was plump, but not that fat, but as our relationship grew, so did she. Then we broke up for a while and she went on a major diet and lost 50 pounds. We eventually got back together and when we got married she was actually thinner than when we first met, but knowing how things usually go for women in that situation, I was hopeful that she would gain the weight back. I did nothing to encourage it, but didn't really do anything to help her keep it off either. I also made sure that she knew how attractive she was to me at any size.

Within a year she gained back at least 30 pounds and I was very pleased. She would diet now and then, but could never keep it up long enough to lose very much. So she worked her way up to 225 pounds and I was very happy! But she was not. So she had WLS and lost over 80 pounds.

That was a little over 3 years ago and I'm afraid I have to admit that it has been the biggest test of our relationship yet. I do love her very much and we have always considered each other our best friend as well and that I guess is one of the things that has kept us together. It is still hard for me to come to grips with the thought of being married to a relatively thin woman for the rest of my life, which is one of the reasons I frequent this and other similar web sites.

I have thoughts of having an affair with a BBW sometimes, but so far have not been able to bring myself to do that to my wife, so I satisfy my desire with the internet. It is pretty frustrating at times, especially since I have to spend so much time away from home for work. And when I am home, my wife does not have that much interest in sex. It's great when we do, but she works such long hours that most of the tie she is just too tired.

Anyway, I guess I am just venting like AnFa and commiserating with him like I said. You face a tough situation, my friend. And from my experience, it doesn't get any easier. The only advice I can offer is don't get married until you are absolutely sure that you can live out your life married to a thin woman.

Good luck!
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Old 11-05-2012, 03:15 PM   #6
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Thank you all for your replies, appreciated.
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Old 11-05-2012, 03:17 PM   #7
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I've decided I need to be open about my preferences, and will be sharing them.
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