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Old 10-20-2011, 04:21 PM   #26
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Old 10-21-2011, 11:05 AM   #27
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I've had several uh-huh moments about being super-sized.

The first uh-huh experience came the night that my Dad passed away. Very long story about how I said some things to him the day before that I regret to this day and how I wish that I could take them back. The day that he died I had been invited by him to come over for lunch and that was going to be my opportunity to apologize to him for the things I said on the previous day. When I got to their house, everyone in the house was sleeping and I was perturbed by the fact that they KNEW I was coming over and they weren't awake and waiting for me. I settled myself in and decided to read the newspaper while I waited for them to wake up--but each minute that passed just added to my anger. After about an hour and a half, I said to myself "Eff this. They knew I was coming over and it's so rude for them to not be up and waiting for me." I left in a huff. I went home. My Dad died several hours later without me ever having apologized to him.
The next day I binge ate all day long. I knew that I was "comfort eating" and I didn't care. I drove to 5 different fast food places and ate whatever I could afford. I probably spent upwards of 140 dollars on junk fast food that day. I sat on my couch eating and crying, eating and crying. I ate myself sick that day and cried myself to sleep that night. When I awoke the next morning (with dried mustard in my hair and catsup on my night shirt) my kitchen and living room were a mess with fast food wrappers, chicken boxes, a pizza box, some 2 liter bottles...a complete mess. It was then that I had my uh-huh moment. I knew I had a problem with food, but it came to light when I saw that mess and realized that I had eaten enough for an entire family (and more) in one night. It took that moment to make the connection to me that I am an emotional eater and that every single time something horrible happened in my life it was food that I turned to. It was almost like a weight was taken off my shoulders to realize that I wasn't "just" a glutton. I was a glutton because of emotional issues. I still have issues like that from time to time, but now I am aware of it and try to control it better.
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Old 10-29-2011, 05:26 PM   #28
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One of mine came a few weeks ago...

One of my 4th students told me he was fat with an embarrassed look on his face and I told him "no you are not" (because he wasn't) and then I told him "now, I am fat and the world is full of people of all shapes and sizes and I am so happy for that and totally promote it!" I thought he and some of the other students would giggle or protest this but instead his little face lit up with a smile and he/they didn't say another word about it.

I realized I could finally call myself fat without a negative conotation to it. It was freeing and wonderful. Also, like another poster, I felt I had planted a seed with this boy (and other students that heard the conversation).
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Old 10-31-2011, 11:42 PM   #29
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Another light bulb moment came when I went to my first BBW Bash. I had never been to one and didn't really know what to expect from it. I know that I didn't expect the ladies to be self-assured, confident and sexy. After being told for many many years how ugly and unattractive being fat was, I didn't really have much self confidence. It was hard for me to make eye contact with anyone, let alone a man and here I was at a bash designed just for that. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the Stardust and saw all those big gals wearing sexy clothing, flirting, laughing and just plain being something awesome! I remember walking behind two bigger gals on my way to register and they were wearing short-shorts and halter tops and their thighs were jiggling. I thought to myself, "Wow they are brave to wear that. I wouldn't be brave enough to let it all hang out like that."

I went to the pool and about passed out when I saw my first plus sized lady wearing a bikini, but then I looked around and a LOT of the ladies were wearing them--and they were so confident. I remember thinking "OMG I am in over my head. These ladies are WAY more confident than I will ever be. I don't think I belong here." After a few days of hanging around these wonderful and confident ladies I started to feel better about myself and laughed more, even flirted a little.

I'll never forget the first after-hours dance that I attended. Afterward my feet had blisters because I was asked to dance more than I had ever been asked to dance before. Wow, what an ego boost that gave me. I felt like the belle of the ball...and I wore those blisters like a badge of honor. I left that bash with confidence in abundance, my head held high and feeling pretty proud to be an SSBBW because of all the things I learned from my bash "sisters". It took a week of mingling with these strong, confident women in order for me to realize that being fat does not mean that you cannot be sexy and self-assured. Kudos to all of you (both women and man) who helped me come out of my shell that first time. I learned a lot from you.
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Old 01-03-2012, 10:47 PM   #30
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Default I love this thread so I'm bumping it.

A light bulb moment came for me many years ago during an author event. A friend of mine was really into the work of a well known author who wrote bestsellers about relationships. When I saw he was scheduled to appear at a local bookstore, I suggested we go. I wasn't very interested in his work because when I'd paged through one of his books it seemed kind of trite to me, but she and her husband were both reading him so I thought it would be fun for her to go.

His presentation had even less depth than his books, and I found him kind of condescending when he opened by asking us all to look around at the men in the audience and give them a hand for being there. Even so, at some point I got caught up in the evening, and when we moved on to the sale/signing part of the event I picked up one of his new titles and got in line in front of my friend, let's call her 'M', to have it signed.

It was a quick trip to the front of the line. He was polite but not really chatty with anyone, and within about five minutes I had my book signed, and I stepped aside for M who was next in line. She set her books on the table, he looked up at her, and his entire expression changed in an instant. What happened to him in that moment is a little hard to describe but looked an awful lot like perhaps he had just been hit by a Mack truck, with an living, breathing angel perched on the front bumper as a hood ornament, and he couldn't have been happier to have been struck by a couple tons of moving metal.

Now, M is beautiful in that conventionally accepted sort of way. 5' 11" without shoes, naturally blond, naturally curly hair and a size 4, if that. She briefly (I say this with affection) ballooned up to a size 6 after two kids. I've seen men look at her for as long as I've known her, but never quite like this. Within about 45 second, as he inscribed her books to both her and her husband, he shook (and held longer than necessary) her hand three times. He told her twice how happy he was that she was there, and it looked like he was getting up to come around the table when his assistant leaned over and whispered politely to remind him there were still other people in line.

I was watching all this and rather proud of myself for waiting until we got out of the shop before I burst out laughing. M had no idea what was so funny, so I said, "You know he was kind of coming onto you, right?" She just thought he was a very nice man. This is her reality.

Later that night at home I settled in to give the book a better look. I opened it, and started reading the introduction. In which he described being hit on by women when he's on the road doing book promotions and going home from one to broach the subject of a semi open relationship with his (I think third) wife. He suggested that if they had this understanding but were discrete about it that no one would be hurt, and she countered his offer with two weeks of tears. It was during this time that the light bulb apparently went off over his head, and he realized that she would be devastated either way.

What I realized is that experts may not know any more than anyone else about how to have relationships. Even if they have related degrees in the subject. They may, in some cases, know less than the average person and simply make a lot of money penning their mishaps as insight.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:40 PM   #31
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Old 11-28-2012, 07:44 AM   #32
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I've run into lots of people who say you shouldn't rely on a boy to make you feel worthy.

But it's because of Derek that I do. He's only 21 but has the wisdom of a man much older than him.

We've been in a long-distance relationship for as long as we've been dating. It's been harder on me than him, I think. I'm very extroverted and seek comfort from other people, whereas he is much more of an introvert. So when I'm having a hard time, I often reach out to him to talk.

One day I was ranting and raving about something that was bugging me (I'm also fairly certain that I was crying, typical me). I told him that I'd understand if he thought that I was too crazy and too broken and I'd understand if he wanted to break up with me. And that's when he said "It's okay Emily. I love you, and I'll always be here for you"

Derek proved to me that my emotions are valid, but also that I am worth sticking around for. I may have low moments (not as many anymore!) but that's just because its a bad moment, people aren't going to abandon me.

I really love that boy.
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:12 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1love_emily View Post
I've run into lots of people who say you shouldn't rely on a boy to make you feel worthy.

But it's because of Derek that I do. He's only 21 but has the wisdom of a man much older than him.

We've been in a long-distance relationship for as long as we've been dating. It's been harder on me than him, I think. I'm very extroverted and seek comfort from other people, whereas he is much more of an introvert. So when I'm having a hard time, I often reach out to him to talk.

One day I was ranting and raving about something that was bugging me (I'm also fairly certain that I was crying, typical me). I told him that I'd understand if he thought that I was too crazy and too broken and I'd understand if he wanted to break up with me. And that's when he said "It's okay Emily. I love you, and I'll always be here for you"

Derek proved to me that my emotions are valid, but also that I am worth sticking around for. I may have low moments (not as many anymore!) but that's just because its a bad moment, people aren't going to abandon me.

I really love that boy.

I am so happy to hear that you are both still together (I was wondering when i saw you had posted again)!

Cheers to loving and being loved!
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Old 01-08-2013, 05:03 PM   #34
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just a little something to brighten somebody's day:
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