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Old 01-17-2013, 11:37 AM   #1
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I recently had a tryst with a man and maybe thought we would do a repeat performance because that's the impression he had given in the beginning, before we even had sex. Now though he seems to be avoiding me and I'm confused as to why. I don't mind in the least because we agreed the encounter was purely sexual I just wish he would tell me why. I was thinking that maybe it was because he didn't really like body even though I told him I was bigger than average from the beginning. I also thought that maybe he just wanted one time so what did he say he would talk to me later?

Guys any advice on this man's conflicting behavior?
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Old 01-17-2013, 02:42 PM   #2
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Men lie. Thats about it really
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Old 01-17-2013, 02:57 PM   #3
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Of course, there's no guarantee you'll get a reply, but have you tried asking him? Maybe write to him if he's not picking up your calls?
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Old 01-17-2013, 03:10 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gingembre View Post
Of course, there's no guarantee you'll get a reply, but have you tried asking him? Maybe write to him if he's not picking up your calls?
Yeah I have tried but I don't want to be a nuisance, I just really wish I knew why he didn't just say that was fun but so long. That would have sufficed.
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Old 01-17-2013, 05:14 PM   #5
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Most men - even if they only want a one time sexual encounter - don't like to be perceived as being rude when they're trying to get out the door. So they'll say they'll call or "let's do it again sometime"so the encounter ends on a pleasant note. It's not that they mean to lie, so much as avoid negative, uncomfortable "confrontations" right after they've gotten satisfaction. They say it, but they don't truly mean it. I agree, I prefer they don't say anything rather than something they don't mean, but such is the way of the casual sex/dating game.
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Old 01-17-2013, 07:09 PM   #6
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it could be any number of things..if he isnt reciprocating, then he isnt worth the extra energy to meet him more than half way. sometimes u have 1 hitter quitters..at some point u gotta move on to bigger n better things. dont get dscouraged, most of us guys are insecure and will NEVER admit to it
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:44 PM   #7
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A lot of people would rather say they'll call you or get back to you than disappoint you to your face.

He may have been looking for a one-time hookup and everything else was bullshit.

Either way, I know it's hard, but don't take it personally. By that, I mean, even if, worst case scenario, it was because he didn't like your size or body or whatever, that's his problem. Don't make it yours. There's nothing wrong with your body. You have no idea what's going on in this guy's head because you don't know him and can't read minds.

As someone said above, men lie. But I'd like to amend that to, 'people lie'.

EDT: You say you don't mind in the least because it was just a hook-up and you just wanted an answer or a reason. You're going to have a lot of experiences in life where you won't get closure, unfortunately. But your own actions are conflicting too. If it didn't matter, you wouldn't care or bother to make this thread. There's nothing wrong with caring, but maybe he sensed you did want more. It's hard to say and hypotheticals are legion.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:48 PM   #8
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This happens all the time and it's happened to everyone, no matter what size they are. Don't beat yourself up looking for answers, you won't get any.
The advice that my girlfriends and I used to follow when we were single: Give it a number and file it away. There's another bus coming in 15 minutes.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:12 PM   #9
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I've been out of the dating scene for quite a while now, but I'll slip some advice to you. You were looking for a guy when you found this one, so you'll find another one when you're looking again.

I love pizza. My favorite food. I've eaten pizza all over the US and I love locally owned pizza parlors, they are the best. But, once in a while I come across a joint that has horrible sauce, or use fake cheese or inferior ingredients. I do not let a bad experience here and there ruin my love for pizza. I will eat it again.

Hope my ramblings help.

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Old 01-18-2013, 04:22 PM   #10
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I sounds like he is not worth chasing. Find someone else is all I can say.

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Old 01-18-2013, 09:04 PM   #11
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Thanks everyone. I was just wondering what was up with him, but I knew from the start it was purely sexual. I just hate it when people aren't up front with me. It was all very insightful though, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that appreciates the advice. Thanks...
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