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Old 05-12-2013, 12:14 PM   #1
Dromond
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Exclamation Scientific proof that Americans are overcompensating

Penis Size Map Shows How ‘Short’ the United States Falls

Quote:
by Lindsay Mannering October 1, 2012 at 1:17 PM

If you've had a craving for rain forests, untapped deposits of raw minerals, and gigantic penises, now's the time to head to the Republic of Congo. A new study ranked the world's countries by average length of erect penises and found that the Congo is home to the most well-endowed individuals. At 7.1 inches, their enormous sex organs put them at the top, just above the male populations in Ecuador (7.0 inches), Ghana (6.8), Columbia (6.7), and Iceland (6.5).

Wondering where the good ol' US of A falls on the world's penis chart? Get out your magnifying glass ... you're gonna need it.

The average penis size of an American man is 5.1 inches, landing them the 25th percentile, behind the U.K. with 5.5 inches, Spain with 5.5, and Canada (Canada!) at 5.5, as well. If you're thinking this is probably the first time Canada's ever beaten us in anything other than curling, I would say that's likely a good guess.

More from The Stir: Airport Security Makes Really, Really LARGE Mistake About Man's 'Package'

Poor Americans. So many huge SUVs, so many little penises.

If heading to the Congo really isn't your speed, you might want to consider a trip to Italy. They came in 6th out of 113 nationalities with an average length of 6.2 inches. Pasta, pizza, gelato, aqueducts, wine, art, romance, history, bucolic landscapes, ancient cities, and enormous baloney ponies? Italy really is a dream land.

The research was done by a professor at Ulster University and some are critiquing its validity, saying he got his "facts" from the Internet, but come on. It's a study on schlong sizes. Of course you use the web to glean data on this -- it's not like the professor took a ruler around the world and demanded men to whip out their peters.

But if that is what he did, I wonder if he needs a research assistant next year. I have all my shots!

Here's part of the list, just for reference:

Republic of Congo, 7.1

Ecuador, 7

Ghana, 6.8

Colombia, 6.7

Iceland, 6.5

Italy, 6.2

South Africa, 6

Sweden, 5.9

Greece, 5.8

Germany, 5.7

New Zealand, 5.5

UK, 5.5

Canada, 5.5

Spain, 5.5

France, 5.3

Australia, 5.2

Russia, 5.2

USA, 5.1

Ireland, 5

Romania, 5

China, 4.3

India, 4

Thailand, 4

South Korea, 3.8

North Korea, 3.8
This explains a lot.
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Old 05-12-2013, 12:44 PM   #2
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I'm suprised that North Korea is on this list
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Old 05-12-2013, 12:48 PM   #3
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Glorious Leader is proud of his shortcomings.
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:17 PM   #4
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I'm moving.
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Old 05-12-2013, 11:10 PM   #5
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There are direct flights from here to Iceland.
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Old 05-13-2013, 01:08 AM   #6
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I'm moving.
Presumably not to South Korea.
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Old 05-13-2013, 02:17 AM   #7
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Not all women prefer large penises. I think it's a good thing that Australia is lower down the list.
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Old 05-14-2013, 04:34 AM   #8
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Not all women prefer large penises. I think it's a good thing that Australia is lower down the list.
This. I don't see why women would want their partner to have an enormous member. The average size penis fits inside the average size vagina. I actually cringe trying to think about something very large inside me, I am sure that would just hurt me.
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:26 PM   #9
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Kinda afraid to ask, but, um, how exactly did they gather the data?
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Old 05-14-2013, 04:22 PM   #10
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I am Not Italian...
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Old 05-14-2013, 10:10 PM   #11
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I'm reminded of one of my favorite bumper stickers:
"Why, yes, I AM compensating for something."
... on a smart car.
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