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Old 08-17-2013, 11:05 AM   #1
RoundLikeABalloon
 
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Exclamation Weight loss married to an FA

Hello all,

This is my first post on this forum, so bear with me.

My husband and I have been happily married for five years. I am a BBW and he is an FA, which has never been a problem until now.

I've gained probably 40 pounds over the course of our marriage and engagement, much to his delight. However, now that we have decided to have children, we've hit a snag.

I'm having trouble getting pregnant (like many BBWs). We've tried fertility drugs to no avail, so my doctor says the only chance we have is if I lose weight. My husband wants me to lose weight because A: he wants us to have children and B: he sees that the heavier I get the less healthy I become, and he wants me to be around for a long time.

While he is my biggest fan and so proud of the weight I'm losing (about 55 pounds, so far) it is really tough for him in the bedroom. My ass and boobs are noticeably smaller and he has a harder time getting excited to have sex with me.

He's never had this problem before because, despite being with several BBWs before me, he says he never really loved any of them, so he didn't care if they got so fat they died young or suffered because of their weight, they were "just for fucking." But I'm different.

Has anyone else been in this situation? He's happy after the sex (obviously) it's just getting him motivated to do it. Any suggestions will be appreciated!
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Old 08-19-2013, 05:02 PM   #2
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Hello, and welcome to Dimensions!

I am very much in your husband's situation. I am an FA married to a BBW. I think we are done having kids, though my wife just indicated the other day she wants me to get her pregnant again. We never had any difficulty getting pregnant, either.

My wife gained a lot of her weight after each of our kids. She came out of her last pregnancy actually weighing less than going in. She also shares concerns that I will not feel the same level of attraction to her when she loses weight as I do now. Of course, I remind her that I was attracted to her when we met and she didn't weight as much, am attracted to her now, and will be attracted to her in the future. I am not worried about the sex not being as pleasurable as she slims down.

So that makes my story a little different than yours, given the way my wife's weight has changed over the years. But I hope it helps. You are not the first couple to experience this and are not alone.

I'm not sure what to say regarding how to help your husband. It's a tricky balance for us FAs, really. We want to support our wives, but we can't just change who we are overnight. It takes patience and dedication, just like everything else in your marriage.

I wish you well, both with this situation as well as with having children. Life changes a lot once the little people start showing up!
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Old 08-19-2013, 08:10 PM   #3
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You might want to look at putting more prep work in. Sure it was handy when he was instantly ready to go at the drop of a cookie, but with the new reality....maybe he could give you a intimate massage, or maybe you could do some fantasy playing around fat themes? Or maybe turn the tables, and woo him (even with a massage or some of what you fantasize about). Or maybe even find some other of his hot buttons....for example maybe the thought of making you pregnant is a turn on, so some talk of that could be a turn on, or something.

Basically give him stimulation from more than just "Wow, she's so sexy and fat!" Sex can be worth a bit of preparation and effort
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Old 08-19-2013, 09:08 PM   #4
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Default Thanks for the advice

Thanks for the suggestions and support. I'm working to make sex more fun for him, it's just tough because what turns him on seems to change on a daily basis.

I do appreciate everything, though.
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Old 08-20-2013, 03:12 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by RoundLikeABalloon View Post
Thanks for the suggestions and support. I'm working to make sex more fun for him, it's just tough because what turns him on seems to change on a daily basis.

I do appreciate everything, though.
Yeah, sometimes it can change with mood. Sort of like being in the mood for a certain type of food almost. There isn't anything wrong with communicating with him and asking him what he wants. I like Tad's suggestion about prep work and making him give you an intimate massage. Get him stirred up before you start. The anticipation will build up and make the overall experience better for both of you.
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Old 08-20-2013, 06:38 PM   #6
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My wife's lost 290 pounds. There's been some adjusting but I still think she's totally hot. I'm also enjoying the fact that we can do many more things together.

Being smaller also facilitates running after the kids.
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Old 08-20-2013, 07:21 PM   #7
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My wife's lost 290 pounds. There's been some adjusting but I still think she's totally hot. I'm also enjoying the fact that we can do many more things together.

Being smaller also facilitates running after the kids.
Maybe it was running after the kids that made her smaller! Good for her on her weight loss.
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Old 08-21-2013, 08:42 PM   #8
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That's amazing! Congrats to your wife! We're trying to get to the kids, hopefully they will come soon!
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:25 PM   #9
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That's amazing! Congrats to your wife! We're trying to get to the kids, hopefully they will come soon!
We got five -- want to borrow one or two?
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