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Old 08-09-2013, 10:32 AM   #1
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Default Friends with Benefits?

Hi,

I'm not bothered about the film, its more about real life.

I've been propositioned with above arrangement and want to know does it really work? Or will it just come back to bite me on my big round shiny ass?!

What are your opinions/experiences? Any pitfalls I should take into account t?

Thanks

Mike
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Old 08-09-2013, 05:13 PM   #2
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FWB arrangements work as long as both parties understand and are satisfied with the limitations of such relationships. Its bad to fall in love with your fuck buddy.
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Old 08-09-2013, 05:37 PM   #3
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It's a precarious thing. It's been my experience that someone always gets their feelings hurt.
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Old 08-09-2013, 06:10 PM   #4
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I will admit that I am guilty of doing the friends with benefits thing. It worked out well because we both knew what we were getting into and neither of us wanted anything more with the other. I just say make sure you sit down and discuss what it is that you are both seeking from the relationship. Take time to talk to one another after a while to see if anyone happens to be getting caught up in emotions. It really just depends on the people involved. It could be something fun and exciting or it can end pretty bad.
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Old 08-09-2013, 07:55 PM   #5
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Social mores and a lifetime of conditioning seem to make it harder for people in their 40s and older, not counting the people who are truly hippies at heart. Younger people seem to have much less of an issue with it, provided that everyone is clear going into it what the terms of the relationship are.

I suspect that, once the old-world conservative sexual mores die out, it'll be a permanent part of the human sexuality landscape, as normal as romances that have a "forward arrow" of building toward a larger commitment.

As forgetting into it yourself, that's easy: Just ask yourself what you really want, and make sure you trust the other person to mean what they say.
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Old 08-11-2013, 06:27 PM   #6
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It really depends on the person. It wouldn't work for me but I know lots of people for whom it does work. I like my sex to come with feelings. (not that there's anything wrong with those who don't and I expect in many ways their lives may be easier in that regard).
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Old 08-12-2013, 11:42 AM   #7
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Ive done the FWB thing before. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. It depends on the definition of FWB the two who are meeting are talking about.

I get into arrangements where my partner in it and I are actually friends and do hang out, but can ask the other for sex when the need is there without hopes of a real relationship/commitment. Some people just want the sex part and nothing else. That doesn't fly with me.
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Old 08-12-2013, 12:22 PM   #8
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I have a friends with benefits situation going on now with my girl friend. We model together and get each other off from time to time, but most of all we hang out and just click without the sex thing being the main factor. I think when the sex is the majority of what you guys have in common, it can get tricky.
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Old 08-13-2013, 03:41 AM   #9
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FWB arrangements work as long as both parties understand and are satisfied with the limitations of such relationships. Its bad to fall in love with your fuck buddy.
This. It can work, but both parties have to be honest with themselves and "check-in" with their feelings regularly...if one of you starts falling for the other, you have to address that - usually by ending the WB bit of the friendship. Don't ever take a FWB situation as a compromise for a romantic relationship - you'll end up miserable.

I've had a few successful FWB in the past where there has been mutual trust, respect and attraction, but no romantic feeling or desire to enter into a relationship with the other person. It's a good way to get physical needs dealt with, haha!
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:41 AM   #10
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The only time I ever tried a FwB relationship my friend ended up falling for me, I tried to stop the benefits part and realised at that point that I had fallen in love with him to. And now we are a couple. So I guess I am just one of those few weirdos that had this happen? It certainly wasn't intentional. I think as long as you are clear and honest with each other FwB is perfectly fine.
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Old 09-04-2013, 05:35 PM   #11
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I have done the FWB thing. It was hot amazingly fulfilling. Had a lot of fun for a while but then I developed a love. I had to stop because I wanted more and it could never be. So I ended up losing my best friend in the process. I am not so sure I could ever do it again.
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Old 09-05-2013, 12:14 AM   #12
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I loved the FWB portion of my younger days. Back seat fornication can be fun if done right.
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Old 09-08-2013, 12:37 AM   #13
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I've done FWB qutie a bit when I was in college. It waas one of the wildest times of my life, but I'm glad I've moved on, I'm looking for a more stable relationship now rather than a one night stand. It was good in the college days, but you have to grow up eventually.
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Old 09-08-2013, 05:00 AM   #14
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I think it can be done, if done properly. However I've seen too many of these things end with someone "catching feelings". It puts you in a bad spot.
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Old 09-08-2013, 08:11 AM   #15
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I think it can be done, if done properly. However I've seen too many of these things end with someone "catching feelings". It puts you in a bad spot.
See that's the thing. For me, sex without feelings is sex not worth having, therefore no FWB arrangements for me. I've gone celibate for years at a time. Then again, I'm very old fashioned that way!
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Old 09-08-2013, 09:49 AM   #16
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IDK but i always thought putting FWB label on things was kinda limiting. after all if a person likes someone and are sexually attracted why have a stopping point? aren't relationships supposed to be about friendship and sexual attraction --or am i missing something? it's no wonder people find themselves "catching feelings" they're supposed to. it makes me wonder why the aversion to just living and taking the chance? does anyone else think people can want to rely on FWB because they are really interested and it's just a way to protect themselves if things somehow don't work out. relationships are going to hurt sometimes. sometimes we do just have to be vulnerable. sometimes things won't work out. sometimes they will. and sometimes we're just going to fall for someone when we think we aren't ready. that's just life.
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Old 09-08-2013, 02:08 PM   #17
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IDK but i always thought putting FWB label on things was kinda limiting. after all if a person likes someone and are sexually attracted why have a stopping point? aren't relationships supposed to be about friendship and sexual attraction --or am i missing something? it's no wonder people find themselves "catching feelings" they're supposed to. it makes me wonder why the aversion to just living and taking the chance? does anyone else think people can want to rely on FWB because they are really interested and it's just a way to protect themselves if things somehow don't work out. relationships are going to hurt sometimes. sometimes we do just have to be vulnerable. sometimes things won't work out. sometimes they will. and sometimes we're just going to fall for someone when we think we aren't ready. that's just life.
I get what you're saying, but I don't think labelling something FWB is limiting a relationship - it's a totally separate thing. I'm attracted to my FWB in a sexual way, but I don't want to be in a relationship with him, nor him me. I think it would be very foolish to use hide behind the FWB label, because you're never going to get what you want (if what you want is a relationship) and so you'll end up hurt anyway. In my experience, it's more common for people to settle for FWB, because they want a relationship but the other party doesn't, which is a high road to heartbreak IMO. I'm not sure people commonly use a FWB situation for protection, but perhaps they do.
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