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Old 02-19-2014, 09:53 PM   #1
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Default White Guys & Black Guys

No racial, but I want to know why the hell white guys ask me if I date/fuck black men?

A) my love life is none of your concern
B) if you're a white guy and I'm chatting you up, why are you asking me these questions?
C) this is 2014.
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Old 02-19-2014, 10:28 PM   #2
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Well, there is the stereotype that black men love fat white women. Maybe they're just trying to gather evidence for that...

And speaking of stereotypes, maybe they're trying to gauge how self-conscious they should be of their dick size.
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Old 02-19-2014, 10:31 PM   #3
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I like the second reason LOL
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Old 02-20-2014, 01:02 AM   #4
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There is a fetish called cuckolding and a lot of whitemen are turned on knowing that you are with blackmen.
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Old 02-20-2014, 03:45 AM   #5
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Wow.... I don't even have words to describe how messed up and dumb and rude asking that question is. I wouldn't speak to a potential date ever again if they asked me that.
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Old 02-20-2014, 01:33 PM   #6
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Black guys do tend to favor BBW more. We like women with some meat on there bones, and usually we are more prone/drawn to BBW/SSBBW. That is mostly true, i mean all races like BBW i mean it has to do with the person but i just think more black men appreaciate and like BBW more and don't care about the size as much. Not saying ALL black guys like or date BBW, but most do. A person can say a BBW is fat and we will think she is juuuust fine haha lol.
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Old 02-20-2014, 03:21 PM   #7
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I'm neither black or white. Daniel Snyder would honor me by saying I'm "r*dsk&nned." I know with that part of the family, size is never considered with who you like, you love. After all, Mohawks call homosexuals "people with two spirits."
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Old 02-20-2014, 03:29 PM   #8
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I just want to say only white guys have done this. Black, Latino, Arabic, etc. men have never inquired about the ethnicities lol White men obviously have to step their game up when it comes to the big ladies. Lol
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Old 02-20-2014, 03:53 PM   #9
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I think it is about the fear of the big black penis. Some of them are afraid of a woman comparing their penis to the stereotypical black man's penis because of the size myth.

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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I just want to say only white guys have done this. Black, Latino, Arabic, etc. men have never inquired about the ethnicities lol White men obviously have to step their game up when it comes to the big ladies. Lol
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Old 02-20-2014, 04:22 PM   #10
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Default Maybe I can help:

A) Actually, as you develop more relationships with different types of people, you will tend to find that it's not so abnormal for a partner to be curious about your past. Maybe-even the biggest difference across a range won't be how much they want to know (at what level of detail), but how patiently and subtly they will go about acquiring that information.

B) People like to think of themselves as being broad-minded. But many of us have hard-limits. Or preferences. This definitely includes: Fat girls who mainly go for skinny guys. Or black guys who're really into white chicks. Or black women who would prefer to meet a black man. Or older guys into younger women. Or people of whatever religious background that have some flexibility, but just outside of that. Or people who (in the context of a relationship) care about things like politics or money or whatever.

Sometimes, in certain things, it's like-attracting-like. In other cases or areas it's the opposite. Or it makes no difference. And it's often quite variable from one person or area to the next.

And there's really just no way to tell (definitively) until you ask. Even then, you're operating on the premise that they're at least comfortable enough, with you, to be perfectly honest? And, also to mention, there's a difference between being open to something just-in-principle versus a real willingness to 'give-it-a-shot.' Versus whatever pattern has taken place over the course of most of a person's life.

C) Living in a particularly integrated part of the country (as we both do), it can be very easy to forget or lose sight of this. But, if you travel a few hundred miles south, say, towards a city like Memphis; you might have an easier time noticing the resiliency of some of these lines. Especially well-between either end of the extremes in wealth & social-class. And how there's, kind of, this sense of a "point-of-no-return" being at work when it comes to crossing them.

It can be deeply personal-stuff for some people. And perhaps not something to be so cavalier about if you don't know them too well. Which is why I don't think anyone's too off base to take it personally, should that kind of question be delivered....in the wrong tone....or in the wrong context. Or with the wrong words.

But, as to just the question-itself, just consider how awkward things might get should either person assume the wrong thing about the other. Better to get that kind of problem out of the way, sooner than later, I think. So as not to put any undue stress on what could otherwise be an amicable, albeit very brief, relationship

D) Mhhhm...what's up with these alpha-enumerated lists?
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Old 02-20-2014, 04:51 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I just want to say only white guys have done this. Black, Latino, Arabic, etc. men have never inquired about the ethnicities lol White men obviously have to step their game up when it comes to the big ladies. Lol
I've had Latino guys ask me if I was with Black guys and Middle-Easterners/Egyptians (because it's as common for ME/E's to favor BBW as it is for Black guys in the area where I'm from).

I would say I had equal attention from all three, but only Whites and Latinos care. The least attention from Whites and Asians. White guys IME were the most who wanted to keep it on the DL.

It is ridiculous.

I always bite my tongue from saying, Sorry about your penis.
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Old 02-20-2014, 05:15 PM   #12
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I no longer chat but when I did, I would once in a while have white guys approach me with the ever romantic, "You date white guys?" pickup line. This is the first I've heard of white guys asking white women if they date black men. That's some deep shit right there.
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Old 02-20-2014, 05:55 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
I've had Latino guys ask me if I was with Black guys and Middle-Easterners/Egyptians (because it's as common for ME/E's to favor BBW as it is for Black guys in the area where I'm from).

I would say I had equal attention from all three, but only Whites and Latinos care. The least attention from Whites and Asians. White guys IME were the most who wanted to keep it on the DL.

It is ridiculous.

I always bite my tongue from saying, Sorry about your penis.

That is another thing i think alot of black men are more "open" about dating bigger women too.
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Old 02-20-2014, 06:52 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yakatori View Post
A) Actually, as you develop more relationships with different types of people, you will tend to find that it's not so abnormal for a partner to be curious about your past. Maybe-even the biggest difference across a range won't be how much they want to know (at what level of detail), but how patiently and subtly they will go about acquiring that information.

B) People like to think of themselves as being broad-minded. But many of us have hard-limits. Or preferences. This definitely includes: Fat girls who mainly go for skinny guys. Or black guys who're really into white chicks. Or black women who would prefer to meet a black man. Or older guys into younger women. Or people of whatever religious background that have some flexibility, but just outside of that. Or people who (in the context of a relationship) care about things like politics or money or whatever.

Sometimes, in certain things, it's like-attracting-like. In other cases or areas it's the opposite. Or it makes no difference. And it's often quite variable from one person or area to the next.

And there's really just no way to tell (definitively) until you ask. Even then, you're operating on the premise that they're at least comfortable enough, with you, to be perfectly honest? And, also to mention, there's a difference between being open to something just-in-principle versus a real willingness to 'give-it-a-shot.' Versus whatever pattern has taken place over the course of most of a person's life.

C) Living in a particularly integrated part of the country (as we both do), it can be very easy to forget or lose sight of this. But, if you travel a few hundred miles south, say, towards a city like Memphis; you might have an easier time noticing the resiliency of some of these lines. Especially well-between either end of the extremes in wealth & social-class. And how there's, kind of, this sense of a "point-of-no-return" being at work when it comes to crossing them.

It can be deeply personal-stuff for some people. And perhaps not something to be so cavalier about if you don't know them too well. Which is why I don't think anyone's too off base to take it personally, should that kind of question be delivered....in the wrong tone....or in the wrong context. Or with the wrong words.

But, as to just the question-itself, just consider how awkward things might get should either person assume the wrong thing about the other. Better to get that kind of problem out of the way, sooner than later, I think. So as not to put any undue stress on what could otherwise be an amicable, albeit very brief, relationship

D) Mhhhm...what's up with these alpha-enumerated lists?
I've always wondered how some white people justified bizarre race obsession in their heads....and now I know
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Old 02-20-2014, 06:54 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
No racial, but I want to know why the hell white guys ask me if I date/fuck black men?

A) my love life is none of your concern
B) if you're a white guy and I'm chatting you up, why are you asking me these questions?
C) this is 2014.
Those are all excellent answers, but I'd add one more:

D) Why would it matter to you?
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Old 02-20-2014, 10:45 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
No racial, but I want to know why the hell white guys ask me if I date/fuck black men?

...

My experience is more than a decade old but it may still apply. When I was working in New Jersey (1999-2000) I went to a variety of BBW events across the Northeast. It was immediately obvious that events catered to particular demographics. Most of the men at Massachusetts BBW events were white. The Connecticut BBW events attracted many more black men. Most of the guys at one NYC BBW club were white -- at the other mostly black.

Women chose which events to attend based on their preferences. A pair of sisters I knew were always fighting over which events to attend since one sister preferred black guys and the other white guys. As a mixed guy who can pass for white I had much better luck at events whose male demographic skewed white.

Based on the foregoing I'm thinking that guys who ask "do you date black guys" may be inartfully trying to determine if they're your type. Its always good to know up front if a potential date is or isn't into your demographic.
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Old 02-20-2014, 10:52 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
No racial, but I want to know why the hell white guys ask me if I date/fuck black men?

A) my love life is none of your concern
B) if you're a white guy and I'm chatting you up, why are you asking me these questions?
C) this is 2014.
So many white guys seem to harbor a pathological fear that we black men will reach out and steal their wives and girlfriends.

I really think that a more diverse society in which racial taboos are receding is causing white males to have masculinity issues. They used to be able to have all the world's women, but black men couldn't. Now that they know that some WFs do date black men, the WMs don't know what to do with themselves.

The whole BBW/FA thing is not such a big deal in the black community. We have a lot of big black women who have no trouble finding partners. White BBWs have become aware of this, and those who are willing to date black men generally can expect to be treated well.


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Old 02-21-2014, 02:28 AM   #18
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Shit. I got hit on by a cute mixed guy (his dad is mulatto and his mom Mexican)just tonight lol. He was a light skinned man and confident as hell. A white man has only once approached me in my 25 years of life lol That's not to say I don't like white men, but I agree they only want fat women on the DL lol
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Old 02-21-2014, 03:10 AM   #19
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I don't have many friends so I don't have much experience with seeing who other people are most likely to date but I am willing to share some insight as to how things are around where I live, seeing as it seems to be different in different areas.

For the record, I am english and the community I live in is very much predominantly white. As in, at my school of 2,500 pupils there were two black pupils in the 7 years I went there. And not many more asian pupils either and the demographic is pretty similar as young adults (for some reason there seems to a higher diversity of middle to older aged people here but that is outside my personal experience, being only 23).

My personal experience is that, no matter what my size (from chubby to bbw) I have only ever been asked out by white guys. A black guy smiled and winked at me in a bar once and an asian guy picked me up and put me on top of a dancing platform but that is about it! I actually got more popular with the men folk as I got bigger and I have never had a partner be embarrassed or try and hide his relationship with me, they have all been very proud to be seen with me. My fiance is a white male and practically bursts with pride to be seen with me even as I have been getting bigger and am now the biggest I have ever been. So no hiding or being ashamed of me in any of my relationships!

I also have a friend who is a white female and as teenagers/uni students together she was a SSBBW. She is very pretty and never had any problem attracting guys and although, like me, she doesn't mind the race of her partner she was only ever approach by white guys. And not a single one of those seemed embarrassed or tried to keep it secret, they came out dancing as a couple with the rest of us, went about their daily business hand in hand etc.

Just experiences from this small city!
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:53 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
I don't have many friends so I don't have much experience with seeing who other people are most likely to date but I am willing to share some insight as to how things are around where I live, seeing as it seems to be different in different areas.

For the record, I am english and the community I live in is very much predominantly white. As in, at my school of 2,500 pupils there were two black pupils in the 7 years I went there. And not many more asian pupils either and the demographic is pretty similar as young adults (for some reason there seems to a higher diversity of middle to older aged people here but that is outside my personal experience, being only 23).

My personal experience is that, no matter what my size (from chubby to bbw) I have only ever been asked out by white guys. A black guy smiled and winked at me in a bar once and an asian guy picked me up and put me on top of a dancing platform but that is about it! I actually got more popular with the men folk as I got bigger and I have never had a partner be embarrassed or try and hide his relationship with me, they have all been very proud to be seen with me. My fiance is a white male and practically bursts with pride to be seen with me even as I have been getting bigger and am now the biggest I have ever been. So no hiding or being ashamed of me in any of my relationships!

I also have a friend who is a white female and as teenagers/uni students together she was a SSBBW. She is very pretty and never had any problem attracting guys and although, like me, she doesn't mind the race of her partner she was only ever approach by white guys. And not a single one of those seemed embarrassed or tried to keep it secret, they came out dancing as a couple with the rest of us, went about their daily business hand in hand etc.

Just experiences from this small city!
Yeah, it's different when you're a smaller size. But when you pass the 350# mark, dating changes. And I've lived in small towns and very culturally diverse cities like Chicago and Detroit. I'm not afraid to tell a man he's sexy, but a white man has only once initiated contact and said I was beautiful (he was also drunk lol). I have no problem dating, it's just I find it funny that white men are timid lol
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:37 AM   #21
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A) Actually, as you develop more relationships with different types of people, you will tend to find that it's not so abnormal for a partner to be curious about your past. Maybe-even the biggest difference across a range won't be how much they want to know (at what level of detail), but how patiently and subtly they will go about acquiring that information.

B) People like to think of themselves as being broad-minded. But many of us have hard-limits. Or preferences. This definitely includes: Fat girls who mainly go for skinny guys. Or black guys who're really into white chicks. Or black women who would prefer to meet a black man. Or older guys into younger women. Or people of whatever religious background that have some flexibility, but just outside of that. Or people who (in the context of a relationship) care about things like politics or money or whatever.

Sometimes, in certain things, it's like-attracting-like. In other cases or areas it's the opposite. Or it makes no difference. And it's often quite variable from one person or area to the next.

And there's really just no way to tell (definitively) until you ask. Even then, you're operating on the premise that they're at least comfortable enough, with you, to be perfectly honest? And, also to mention, there's a difference between being open to something just-in-principle versus a real willingness to 'give-it-a-shot.' Versus whatever pattern has taken place over the course of most of a person's life.

C) Living in a particularly integrated part of the country (as we both do), it can be very easy to forget or lose sight of this. But, if you travel a few hundred miles south, say, towards a city like Memphis; you might have an easier time noticing the resiliency of some of these lines. Especially well-between either end of the extremes in wealth & social-class. And how there's, kind of, this sense of a "point-of-no-return" being at work when it comes to crossing them.

It can be deeply personal-stuff for some people. And perhaps not something to be so cavalier about if you don't know them too well. Which is why I don't think anyone's too off base to take it personally, should that kind of question be delivered....in the wrong tone....or in the wrong context. Or with the wrong words.

But, as to just the question-itself, just consider how awkward things might get should either person assume the wrong thing about the other. Better to get that kind of problem out of the way, sooner than later, I think. So as not to put any undue stress on what could otherwise be an amicable, albeit very brief, relationship

D) Mhhhm...what's up with these alpha-enumerated lists?
This is such a distorted post. I don't think there's any reasonable answer as to care about the ethnicity that I may be interested in. How do you know race matters to me? Have I led you to believe any which way? No. lol Furthermore, these white men clearly had a fetish (it wasn't like a OH YOU DATE BLACK MEN? I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, YOU ABOMINATION). One wanted me to fuck a bunch of black guys, get a stretched out gaping pussy because of these "big black cocks" (I want to see one, I think they're with unicorns and leprechauns) and get pregnant by them. Then he wanted to raise the babies (the white guy wanted to raise the babies). One time a guy just said he straight up liked cuckolding and wanted me to do it. White guys are the only men that literally want you to conform to their fetishes or move on.

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I've always wondered how some white people justified bizarre race obsession in their heads....and now I know
I lol'd. Damn WASP's.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:26 AM   #22
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Furthermore, these white men clearly had a fetish (it wasn't like a OH YOU DATE BLACK MEN? I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU, YOU ABOMINATION).
This has just reminded me of something. My mother told me once about how she and my dad got together and what it was like being married to him etc etc (he left when I was a kid). She said that one of the first questions he asked her was whether or not she had slept with a black man before. My mum said yes and he left and said he had to 'seriously consider whether or not he wanted to be with a woman who would sleep with a black man' and it took weeks for him to come back and start dating her again.

I think my huge racist of a dad (in other ways as well, it took me until I was a teenager to realise that 'paki' did not mean shopkeeper) is one of the reasons why that question about the race of your previous partners really rubs me up the wrong way. I mean, he didn't mind the fact that she had two kids or the fact that she was married when they started dating but the fact that she had slept with a black man was almost a deal breaker. My mind boggles.

And just in case you couldn't tell from my pasty Caucasian skin, both my parents are white.
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Old 02-21-2014, 12:32 PM   #23
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"I've always wondered how some white people justified bizarre race obsession in their heads....and now I know"
I'm not really trying to justify anything, just relating my own personal experience. Of course, I certainly leave room for others, who've had other types of experiences; and, through that, come to see other truths.

For one example, I don't think that diminishing or marginalizing someone else's preference or orientation (or fetish) as "a bizarre obsession" is somehow going to change things. (Here, of course, where we're all separated by so much, I think it's actually a good thing to hash out all sorts of ideas, but...) Instead, in RL, when I'm face to face with another human being, I try to relate to them as non-judgmentally as I can. Because, I find, that serves to create an intimacy that allows me a better insight into the real meaning of their words and actions. And, once having demonstrated as much, where I'm better situated to relate whatever example I can provide.

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My experience is more than a decade old but it may still apply....I'm thinking that guys who ask "do you date black guys" may be inartfully trying to determine if they're your type...
Yeah, of course. Not everyone is so good at initiating & sustaining a decent conversation.

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"This is such a distorted post. I don't think there's any reasonable answer...."
You know, it might read differently if you just took each section separately. As separate responses to your bullet-points.

Look, I'm not doubting what you've experienced. But, all I'm really asking of you is to take my response as I took your question. Just at face-value.

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"....is one of the reasons why that question about the race of your previous partners really rubs me up the wrong way..."
I am sorry to hear that. But, hopefully, you will have other types of experiences along the way. To the effect of seeing how, sometimes, people change. And, sometimes, it's in-time, just enough to look more broadly, at the totality of their life, inclusive of what obstacles they faced or opportunities or types of experiences they lacked.

And, of course, how much so no-one is really so simply & neatly defined. Just by one thing. Or incident. If even something that permeates into most aspects of their daily life.
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Old 02-21-2014, 05:16 PM   #24
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no-one is really so simply & neatly defined. Just by one thing. Or incident. If even something that permeates into most aspects of their daily life.
Here is my question to you: what do you find out when you find out someone has slept with a black person?

Do you find out that they have herpes, or were in an abusive relationship, or were loved beyond measure then heartbroken or had their credit cards stolen or what?

Actually you only find out that they slept with someone of a darker hue, that's it. And that is really not much. You find out nothing about the person they slept with except the color of their skin (you don't even find out about their culture) and you find out even less about the person you asked the question to.

You find out just enough to satisfy whatever weird race obsession you have.


Either, "you're disgusting and how could you?" or "great!, will you let these five men run a train on you since you are already a whore" or "fantastic! since you are down with black dick, I'm sure you'll agree to fuck one while I watch from the closet" Either reaction is icky..just ew.

What do you think about the question, asked from one man to another? "Have you ever fucked a fat chick?"
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Old 02-21-2014, 06:42 PM   #25
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Shit. I got hit on by a cute mixed guy (his dad is mulatto and his mom Mexican)just tonight lol. He was a light skinned man and confident as hell. A white man has only once approached me in my 25 years of life lol That's not to say I don't like white men, but I agree they only want fat women on the DL lol

Its kind of a cultural thing. Many white guys grow up thinking its rude to just walk up to a woman and hit on her. Not so in many minority neighborhoods. During my oldest daughter's teen years we lived in a predominantly black neighborhood. My daughter (a BBW) got hit on walking to and from school pretty much every day starting in the sixth grade. Kind of freaked her out a bit at first but she soon became very good at bantering with the guys on the corners.

Regarding the down low issue -- this is a problem. Have to admit I was one of those guys when I was young. Luckily I out grew it by my early twenties.
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