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Old 02-21-2014, 07:10 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by CurvaceousBBWLover View Post
So many white guys seem to harbor a pathological fear that we black men will reach out and steal their wives and girlfriends.

I really think that a more diverse society in which racial taboos are receding is causing white males to have masculinity issues. They used to be able to have all the world's women, but black men couldn't. Now that they know that some WFs do date black men, the WMs don't know what to do with themselves.

...


Yes, this makes sense.
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Old 02-21-2014, 07:59 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
<snip>....... white men, but I agree they only want fat women on the DL lol
Huh? My first date was to go shopping with her, in a crowded mall, holding hands all the way? the downlow?
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:59 PM   #28
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Huh? My first date was to go shopping with her, in a crowded mall, holding hands all the way? the downlow?
You're a rare exception. I find that the higher a man's social status and prestige, the less likely he is to truly pursue a relationship with a fat woman. Obviously because of social expectations and fear of losing what he has acquired. But there's always exceptions and I smile when I see those men
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Old 02-22-2014, 07:36 AM   #29
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Huh? My first date was to go shopping with her, in a crowded mall, holding hands all the way? the downlow?
At just a smidge under 40..yes..as stated you are a rare exception in all my years of attempting to date. Though, I cannot say it is exactly due to race. Just trying to think...honestly, I can't think of many men who were okay being seen with me in public. Most of them would make sure their body language screamed "I'm not with her". Tots awesome [sic]. But, I do agree that in my experience that black men have been more vocal..and have hit on me a few occasions using that whole "baby girl" - I'm a sucker. Sadly though, white guys have been far ruder in public to me. Calling me names, making fun of me...etc.

Next....that same question that was asked of the OP has been posed to me on numerous occasions over the years - to me it came across as racist phobia if that makes sense. Also, I think these men suffer from inadequacy issues. When pressed, because my brain cannot comprehend how this is a valid question, why it was an issue or even why would they ask something so stupid it was inevitably followed up by "I don't believe races should mix.". WTF?? Seriously? Well, I don't believe your parents should have had children. Needless to say you move on quickly from these very small minded people.
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Old 02-22-2014, 08:51 AM   #30
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You're a rare exception. I find that the higher a man's social status and prestige, the less likely he is to truly pursue a relationship with a fat woman. Obviously because of social expectations and fear of losing what he has acquired. But there's always exceptions and I smile when I see those men

There's some truth to this but I believe its more of a problem for guys who have more conservative or traditional careers. For example there's much more pressure on district attorney's to conform to social norms than there is on public defenders (indeed we're pretty much expected to be a bit odd).

My wife is an educated professional who is very good at working a room. She added to my prestige (even when she weighed over 400 pounds). After an office event one of our clerks (a very pretty young woman) told me she really liked my wife and wanted to be more like her. After our most recent office Christmas party one of our new attorney's commented that she liked how affectionate we were and wished her husband was more attentive (she's a very thin traditionally beautiful woman).

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Old 02-22-2014, 10:17 AM   #31
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But dammit, if I won't tease the hell out of a man like that lol
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Old 02-22-2014, 12:20 PM   #32
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At just a smidge under 40..yes..as stated you are a rare exception in all my years of attempting to date. Though, I cannot say it is exactly due to race. Just trying to think...honestly, I can't think of many men who were okay being seen with me in public. Most of them would make sure their body language screamed "I'm not with her". Tots awesome [sic]. But, I do agree that in my experience that black men have been more vocal..and have hit on me a few occasions using that whole "baby girl" - I'm a sucker. Sadly though, white guys have been far ruder in public to me. Calling me names, making fun of me...etc.

Next....that same question that was asked of the OP has been posed to me on numerous occasions over the years - to me it came across as racist phobia if that makes sense. Also, I think these men suffer from inadequacy issues. When pressed, because my brain cannot comprehend how this is a valid question, why it was an issue or even why would they ask something so stupid it was inevitably followed up by "I don't believe races should mix.". WTF?? Seriously? Well, I don't believe your parents should have had children. Needless to say you move on quickly from these very small minded people.

I hate people like that. I remember one time got into a heated argument on youtube one guy was saying people should stick to there own race i was saying if you love the person who cares what race they were. So many people thumbed my comments down and marked it as spam. Really made me sad and showed me what kind of world we are living in. It's a damn shame man. I have alot of mixed people in my family and we are all family ya know it does't matter.
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Old 02-22-2014, 12:51 PM   #33
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I hate people like that. I remember one time got into a heated argument on youtube one guy was saying people should stick to there own race i was saying if you love the person who cares what race they were. So many people thumbed my comments down and marked it as spam. Really made me sad and showed me what kind of world we are living in. It's a damn shame man. I have alot of mixed people in my family and we are all family ya know it does't matter.
Exactly, my little daughters are part Mexican, part Puerto Rican, part Irish, and part Italian. Which race would they stick to?
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Old 02-22-2014, 03:24 PM   #34
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Exactly, my little daughters are part Mexican, part Puerto Rican, part Irish, and part Italian. Which race would they stick to?

Yes im partly mixed myself. My nephew is part mexican, my cousin is part white, and my other cousin is part german. We are all family all the same. My family and me are mixed with african-american, some white, french and indian.
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Old 02-22-2014, 04:13 PM   #35
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For the majority of people it really does not matter. I think society has shifted over the years and these questions jar most of us. We remember these conversations because they are so far left of field of how we view the world. These are sad people with small lives. I'm sure most of other their views on life are closed off - how much richer are we for not being this narrow minded!

All that being said, I wouldn't mind punching them when I receive this question.

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I hate people like that. I remember one time got into a heated argument on youtube one guy was saying people should stick to there own race i was saying if you love the person who cares what race they were. So many people thumbed my comments down and marked it as spam. Really made me sad and showed me what kind of world we are living in. It's a damn shame man. I have alot of mixed people in my family and we are all family ya know it does't matter.
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Old 02-22-2014, 10:00 PM   #36
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"...I believe its more of a problem for guys who have more conservative or traditional careers....example...more pressure on district attorney's to conform to social norms than there is on public defenders.."
I think well-before you actually choose a career, the ground-work of your own personal values has long since been laid. So much that whatever type of job or career you have is somehow a reflection of that. Conformity, even if just conformity-just-for-the-sake-of-it, being one of several possibilities. Or just one's own relationship with a parent's or grand-parent's values, goals, or traditions. And here, I think, birth-order probably comes somewhat into play in order to help to decide just how far outside the margins a person ultimately ventures.

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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
"...the higher a man's social status and prestige, the less likely he is to...because of social expectations and fear of losing what he has acquired..."
I'm not too sure about that. Just-intuitively, my first instinct would be to look at it from the completely-reverse point of view: That is, the more middle-of-the-road or just-average you are, in terms of what you have and your general approach to things, the less inclined you will be to do anything that really breaks with convention. Conversely, the further you are at one extreme or another (i.e. wealth versus poverty, brilliance or mental-infirmity) the less you really have to lose. And the more inclined you might be to take certain types of risks.

But; and hopefully this is obvious-enough by now; what I think is even more important than any of that is how this is all just, sort of, like letting yourself off of the hook. Not owning your own role in how certain types of people will or won't respond to you. Because, as it's so easy to forget, you are 50% of every relationship you create.

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"Regarding the down low issue -- this is a problem."
Yeah, it is. But also, perhaps, in some ways that not all of us are so ready to admit. In as much as it makes for a ready-made excuse. To just explain away certain behaviors & reactions or, sometimes, a lack of responsiveness; without really any serious examination of how both sides are contributing towards and perpetuating the dynamic.
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Old 02-22-2014, 10:07 PM   #37
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For the majority of people it really does not matter. I think society has shifted over the years and these questions jar most of us. We remember these conversations because they are so far left of field of how we view the world. These are sad people with small lives. I'm sure most of other their views on life are closed off - how much richer are we for not being this narrow minded!

All that being said, I wouldn't mind punching them when I receive this question.

I agree man it's just so saddening. Does make you want to hurt someone. I still get weird looks when im out with my nephew. I swear i feel like sometimes some people want to call the cops like i abducted a kid or something ugh. It's sad how the world still hasn't advanced in so many areas of life.
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Old 02-23-2014, 03:17 AM   #38
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I hate people like that. I remember one time got into a heated argument on youtube one guy was saying people should stick to there own race i was saying if you love the person who cares what race they were. So many people thumbed my comments down and marked it as spam. Really made me sad and showed me what kind of world we are living in. It's a damn shame man. I have alot of mixed people in my family and we are all family ya know it does't matter.
This reminds me so much of my mother. She always claims not to be racist but says that whilst she thinks it is fine for people of different races to date and have relationships they shouldn't be allowed to marry and have kids because it 'isn't fair on the kids' to be mixed. I have asked her what she meant by that several times and it seems that because she is obsessed with race she assumes all mixed race people are miserable and mentally ill because they don't have any family or friends they can identify with. Because, you know, race is so important in family and friend relationships. She has also dated mixed race people who were perfectly happy and successful and met my mixed race friends who are, shockingly, perfectly normal human beings. I don't think I will ever be able to understand her ridiculous, effed up thinking and frankly I do think I ever want to.
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Old 02-23-2014, 10:19 AM   #39
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http://wearethe15percent.com/
Much lower than I thought, but...

That is all. lol
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Old 02-23-2014, 10:41 AM   #40
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http://wearethe15percent.com/
Much lower than I thought, but...

That is all. lol
I wonder if I should find pictures of my paternal grandparents - grandfather a first generation Louisiana natives, via French parents, and grandmother a St. Regis Mohawk
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Old 02-23-2014, 05:19 PM   #41
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http://wearethe15percent.com/
Much lower than I thought, but...

That is all. lol

That was beautiful man! repped! great pictures and they all look so happy. Love it!
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Old 02-23-2014, 05:21 PM   #42
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This reminds me so much of my mother. She always claims not to be racist but says that whilst she thinks it is fine for people of different races to date and have relationships they shouldn't be allowed to marry and have kids because it 'isn't fair on the kids' to be mixed. I have asked her what she meant by that several times and it seems that because she is obsessed with race she assumes all mixed race people are miserable and mentally ill because they don't have any family or friends they can identify with. Because, you know, race is so important in family and friend relationships. She has also dated mixed race people who were perfectly happy and successful and met my mixed race friends who are, shockingly, perfectly normal human beings. I don't think I will ever be able to understand her ridiculous, effed up thinking and frankly I do think I ever want to.

Yeah i agree i never can get in people like that heads. There perceptions are just so far out there. It's a shame really.
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Old 02-23-2014, 05:47 PM   #43
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I love this SO much! I have a sister who is half black and a cousin with two half black children. Just family to us though!


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Much lower than I thought, but...

That is all. lol
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Old 02-23-2014, 09:01 PM   #44
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Shit. I got hit on by a cute mixed guy (his dad is mulatto and his mom Mexican)just tonight lol. He was a light skinned man and confident as hell. A white man has only once approached me in my 25 years of life lol That's not to say I don't like white men, but I agree they only want fat women on the DL lol
I could not disagree with that last stereotype with enough ferocity...
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Old 02-23-2014, 09:14 PM   #45
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No racial, but I want to know why the hell white guys ask me if I date/fuck black men?

A) my love life is none of your concern
B) if you're a white guy and I'm chatting you up, why are you asking me these questions?
C) this is 2014.
insecurity, and people thinking you have something you will be comparing them to.
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Old 02-23-2014, 09:16 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by HeavyDuty24 View Post
Black guys do tend to favor BBW more. We like women with some meat on there bones, and usually we are more prone/drawn to BBW/SSBBW. That is mostly true, i mean all races like BBW i mean it has to do with the person but i just think more black men appreaciate and like BBW more and don't care about the size as much. Not saying ALL black guys like or date BBW, but most do. A person can say a BBW is fat and we will think she is juuuust fine haha lol.
i don't necessarily think that is true, but i think it is more socially acceptable in the black community. but the attraction doesn't seem to be any different.
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Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
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Old 02-23-2014, 09:23 PM   #47
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Its kind of a cultural thing. Many white guys grow up thinking its rude to just walk up to a woman and hit on her. Not so in many minority neighborhoods. During my oldest daughter's teen years we lived in a predominantly black neighborhood. My daughter (a BBW) got hit on walking to and from school pretty much every day starting in the sixth grade. Kind of freaked her out a bit at first but she soon became very good at bantering with the guys on the corners.

Regarding the down low issue -- this is a problem. Have to admit I was one of those guys when I was young. Luckily I out grew it by my early twenties.
um white guys hit on me out of the blue all of the time. last time was just friday night. so i don't think it's true that they don't hit on women out of the blue at all.
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Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

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Old 02-23-2014, 11:54 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
No racial, but I want to know why the hell white guys ask me if I date/fuck black men?

A) my love life is none of your concern
B) if you're a white guy and I'm chatting you up, why are you asking me these questions?
C) this is 2014.

Yes... one would think that by 2014- that this type of attitude would have changed...


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My experience is more than a decade old but it may still apply. When I was working in New Jersey (1999-2000) I went to a variety of BBW events across the Northeast. It was immediately obvious that events catered to particular demographics. Most of the men at Massachusetts BBW events were white. The Connecticut BBW events attracted many more black men. Most of the guys at one NYC BBW club were white -- at the other mostly black.

Women chose which events to attend based on their preferences. A pair of sisters I knew were always fighting over which events to attend since one sister preferred black guys and the other white guys. As a mixed guy who can pass for white I had much better luck at events whose male demographic skewed white.

Based on the foregoing I'm thinking that guys who ask "do you date black guys" may be inartfully trying to determine if they're your type. Its always good to know up front if a potential date is or isn't into your demographic.


1. As far as the BBW events - not all functions can be considered equal. Certain events just catered to certain demographics period and were just organized differently. You just saw a different crowd in each. And yes folks will attend events that cater to their preferences. There would be a huge difference as to whom would show up to a Goddesses event in NYC vs. the events further up North in Mass.




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Originally Posted by CurvaceousBBWLover View Post
So many white guys seem to harbor a pathological fear that we black men will reach out and steal their wives and girlfriends.

I really think that a more diverse society in which racial taboos are receding is causing white males to have masculinity issues. They used to be able to have all the world's women, but black men couldn't. Now that they know that some WFs do date black men, the WMs don't know what to do with themselves.

The whole BBW/FA thing is not such a big deal in the black community. We have a lot of big black women who have no trouble finding partners. White BBWs have become aware of this, and those who are willing to date black men generally can expect to be treated well.





Interesting point- and there has been much historical precedence on this issue. It's only been since 1967 that the Supreme Court struck down Anti-miscegenation laws - however, it seems that some parts of society still have plenty of catching up to do...

===================

The 1883 U.S. Supreme Court case Pace v. Alabama upheld the constitutionality of anti-miscegenation laws. The Motion Picture Production Code of 1930, also known as Hays Code, explicitly forbid the depiction of miscegenation. In 1965, Virginia trial court Judge Leon Bazile sent an interracial couple who had married in Washington, D.C., to prison, writing:


Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, Malay, and red, and he placed them on separate continents. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.

This decision was eventually overturned in 1967, 84 years after Pace v. Alabama, when the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled the following in Loving v. Virginia:


==========================







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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
You're a rare exception. I find that the higher a man's social status and prestige, the less likely he is to truly pursue a relationship with a fat woman. Obviously because of social expectations and fear of losing what he has acquired. But there's always exceptions and I smile when I see those men
I wonder if demographics play a part in this - I've seen plenty of successful educated couples in happy relationships.
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Old 02-25-2014, 11:31 AM   #49
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makes me glad I am just me. Bi-racial and muddling along
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Old 02-25-2014, 11:56 AM   #50
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makes me glad I am just me. Bi-racial and muddling along
never muddling - just the best of many cultures within you
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