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Old 04-27-2015, 02:25 PM   #1
ODFFA
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Default The kink-relationship balance

I've only been involved with people who were fine with their bodies, but had the occasional moment of not really liking their size. Which has been wonderful - I'd certainly date someone like that again.

But naturally, I've always been excited by the idea of having a partner who *enjoys being fat. And I've gotten increasingly curious about what that would be like. There just seems to be a trend among the latter group of being much less interested in... really getting to know someone? Unfortunately, casual encounters aren't for me. It'd be pretty fantastic to find someone who's very much invested in the fat sexuality side, and is also really relationship-motivated.

Do any of you find that to be a rare combination? Anyone feel like it's rare in (F)FAs, too? Are there BHMs/BBWs here that love their size, but feel they're at a disadvantage for wanting more meaningful interactions?
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Old 04-27-2015, 03:03 PM   #2
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I am in the same boat...and it would be pretty amazing if he was into it, even a little. But he is really into food, so it balances out...

Thats like the golden trifecta - big guy who is into his own fat and you liking it too!!
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Old 04-27-2015, 03:10 PM   #3
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Not directly addressing the question (I did my dating before this internet thing made it easier to find out about this sort of thing), but a thought that maybe would be useful for the discussion?

In the past I’ve suggested that there are in essence three types of being an FA (which are NOT mutually exclusive by any means):

- Preferring fat on people in what might be called your dating group (fat as a sexual preference in a partner)
- Preferring fat on people who you would not be interested in (fat as a sort of general esthetic preference)
- Preferring fat on yourself.

Thinking about it in light of your question, I’d (at the least) break that third one into two:
- Preferring fat on yourself because it is a sexual turn on
- Preferring fat on yourself because it is a general esthetic preference

(and frankly the ‘preferring fat on a partner’ point could probably be split this way too).

Some of the sexual turn on group might have more of a fetish about it, where really they may not be looking for a partner so much, more of a witness or accomplice to their fatness, where in the end it is their fat that gives them the erotic charge?
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Old 04-27-2015, 06:11 PM   #4
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I think it's more on a continuum. I've never dated someone who truly enjoyed being fat, but I have dated women who were fairly content. A kink related to size isn't necessary for me, but I would like to date someone who is very confident in their size. I have had good experiences with women who were just confident period though. It's very attractive.

I think the line between kink and high confidence is often blurred, and many people have an open viewpoint towards relationships. I don't think it's specific to level of confidence though.
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Old 04-28-2015, 10:49 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
...In the past I’ve suggested that there are in essence three types of being an FA (which are NOT mutually exclusive by any means): ...
Yeah, I've seen you mention this before and it's a very good way to look at FA-ness. I guess I was referring to people who like fat on themselves primarily for sexual reasons. Also, just as a matter of interest, I recently met a guy who enjoyed being fat for romantically motivated reasons - the protection / enveloping / softness / (in his case) treating his partner to his awesome cooking...

To be frank, I wouldn't mind dating any of the above, including someone who initially has never felt able to be accepting of his own size. They all appeal to me for different reasons, each attitude has its pros & cons. It would just be sooo nice and new and interesting to find someone that, sexually, enjoys being fat and.... is also a bit of a romantic?

But actually, the kind of person Jon Blaze mentions may likely be the most ideal. I certainly consider myself lucky to have found those kinds of BHMs in the past.
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