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Old 04-27-2015, 04:20 PM   #1
joswitch
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Default Another "insecure" feeder story all over the tabloids...

So this is all over the place today... http://women.asiaone.com/women/relat...will-not-stray

Usual "evil feeder" narrative... Hmmmm... His fiancee looks pretty happy tho', makes you wonder how much of the narrative is true...
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Old 05-07-2015, 11:48 AM   #2
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I might get some backlash but I think it's kind of sad. She's so young and now she looks all ratchet and double her age. It seems like controlling abusive behavior. Why be with someone you can't trust wth? And why be with someone if you want to change their look? Not sure how much truth is in the article, but if they're both happy good for them.
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Old 05-07-2015, 01:46 PM   #3
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Way back when, well before the web, when I was a confused young man who knew he liked fat stuff but didn’t know if anyone else did, I went looking for information in the public library. The only book about fat (as opposed to weight loss) that I found was “Fat is a Feminist Issue.” A lot of what it talked about frankly went over my head at the time, so I just went looking for what it might say about guys. I found that it offered exactly one reason that a guy might prefer a fat partner: so that other guys wouldn’t be interested in her. Personally I decided that the book was full of it, because that made no sense in the context of what was going on inside my own head. But more broadly it made me sad that this was apparently the only reason that educated, intelligent, people who had spent time thinking about this subject could imagine to explain a guy preferring a fat partner.

Seeing this article, I wonder if this is sort of step 0.1 on the road to cultural fat acceptance. “We see that some men like fat wives, what possibly could be the reason, when being fat makes them uglier? Why would a man want an ugly wife? Ah, less competition to retain her!” And at the same time, I could imagine a guy, in a culture that is at that state, upon being asked why he likes his wife being fat could deflect with a comment along the lines of “At least other guys aren’t hitting on her, right?”

So while that is depressing to read in some ways, I’m going to put on my rose colored glasses and say that maybe they are starting to at least recognize that such people exist, even if they are far from understanding them yet.

As for the couple in question, hmmm, I think it would be hard to get someone to gain that much weight without them realizing and at least acquiescing. As for the pictures, meh, it is easy to make anyone look good or bad, happy or sad, at any size. Look at what the tabloids do all of the time! Without knowing more about them, I don’t think, based just on that article, it is possible to know how happy or healthy she is, whether she’d rather be thinner or loves her new size, whether she is a victim, an enthusiastic partner, or even the instigator, etc.
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Old 05-07-2015, 05:31 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
Way back when, well before the web, when I was a confused young man who knew he liked fat stuff but didn’t know if anyone else did, I went looking for information in the public library. The only book about fat (as opposed to weight loss) that I found was “Fat is a Feminist Issue.” A lot of what it talked about frankly went over my head at the time, so I just went looking for what it might say about guys. I found that it offered exactly one reason that a guy might prefer a fat partner: so that other guys wouldn’t be interested in her. Personally I decided that the book was full of it, because that made no sense in the context of what was going on inside my own head. But more broadly it made me sad that this was apparently the only reason that educated, intelligent, people who had spent time thinking about this subject could imagine to explain a guy preferring a fat partner.

Seeing this article, I wonder if this is sort of step 0.1 on the road to cultural fat acceptance. “We see that some men like fat wives, what possibly could be the reason, when being fat makes them uglier? Why would a man want an ugly wife? Ah, less competition to retain her!” And at the same time, I could imagine a guy, in a culture that is at that state, upon being asked why he likes his wife being fat could deflect with a comment along the lines of “At least other guys aren’t hitting on her, right?”

So while that is depressing to read in some ways, I’m going to put on my rose colored glasses and say that maybe they are starting to at least recognize that such people exist, even if they are far from understanding them yet.

As for the couple in question, hmmm, I think it would be hard to get someone to gain that much weight without them realizing and at least acquiescing. As for the pictures, meh, it is easy to make anyone look good or bad, happy or sad, at any size. Look at what the tabloids do all of the time! Without knowing more about them, I don’t think, based just on that article, it is possible to know how happy or healthy she is, whether she’d rather be thinner or loves her new size, whether she is a victim, an enthusiastic partner, or even the instigator, etc.
So sorry I couldn't rep this post
I have read that book...many moons ago. I totally agree with what you are saying....but still found it a very good, helpful read as to the other things it addressed.
Older, wiser me may have to read it again though. The author of the book also wrote some self help books about compulsive eating behaviors. Probably why I'm a fan.
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Old 05-07-2015, 07:37 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
Way back when, well before the web, when I was a confused young man who knew he liked fat stuff but didn’t know if anyone else did, I went looking for information in the public library. The only book about fat (as opposed to weight loss) that I found was “Fat is a Feminist Issue.” A lot of what it talked about frankly went over my head at the time, so I just went looking for what it might say about guys. I found that it offered exactly one reason that a guy might prefer a fat partner: so that other guys wouldn’t be interested in her. Personally I decided that the book was full of it, because that made no sense in the context of what was going on inside my own head. But more broadly it made me sad that this was apparently the only reason that educated, intelligent, people who had spent time thinking about this subject could imagine to explain a guy preferring a fat partner.

Seeing this article, I wonder if this is sort of step 0.1 on the road to cultural fat acceptance. “We see that some men like fat wives, what possibly could be the reason, when being fat makes them uglier? Why would a man want an ugly wife? Ah, less competition to retain her!” And at the same time, I could imagine a guy, in a culture that is at that state, upon being asked why he likes his wife being fat could deflect with a comment along the lines of “At least other guys aren’t hitting on her, right?”

So while that is depressing to read in some ways, I’m going to put on my rose colored glasses and say that maybe they are starting to at least recognize that such people exist, even if they are far from understanding them yet.

As for the couple in question, hmmm, I think it would be hard to get someone to gain that much weight without them realizing and at least acquiescing. As for the pictures, meh, it is easy to make anyone look good or bad, happy or sad, at any size. Look at what the tabloids do all of the time! Without knowing more about them, I don’t think, based just on that article, it is possible to know how happy or healthy she is, whether she’d rather be thinner or loves her new size, whether she is a victim, an enthusiastic partner, or even the instigator, etc.

I get what you're saying and appreciate your post. Just playing devils advocate and saying if he really does want her fat just to keep others away from her, that's pretty selfish and messed up.
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Old 05-13-2015, 11:21 PM   #6
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Isn't the real question here did she consent?

I mean they both look pretty happy in the photos.
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Old 06-13-2015, 10:10 PM   #7
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So this is all over the place today... http://women.asiaone.com/women/relat...will-not-stray

Usual "evil feeder" narrative... Hmmmm... His fiancee looks pretty happy tho', makes you wonder how much of the narrative is true...
Let's just say there's a chance this could backfire.
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