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Old 08-09-2015, 09:27 AM   #1
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Default LGBTQA annoyances thread

So, most of the other forums have an 'annoyances' thread for things that apply to them and I thought that some of the LGBTQA people here might appreciate having a safe space to talk about their issues and things that irk them without being judged. As such, please try and make this as non-judgemental a thread as possible.

I'll go first! It irritates me when people can't understand the difference between basic needs (those for survival, eg. water, food, oxygen) and other needs (eg. sex). As much as you might crave sex or it might be important to you, you don't need it to survive. I really don't see how anyone can debate that. I really, really like sweets and I'd be miserable having to live without them forever and I'd happily have them all the time, but I wouldn't die without them.
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Old 08-10-2015, 11:54 AM   #2
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As a trans woman, I cou*gets shouted down and silenced by white gay men*
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Old 08-12-2015, 09:20 PM   #3
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As much as you might crave sex or it might be important to you, you don't need it to survive. I really don't see how anyone can debate that.
It could maybe be argued from a very evolutionary point of view. For any kind of living thing, propagating the species is the primary goal. So even though humans are dramatically more complex than most other living things, there's still that instinctual "COME ON PUT YOUR PENIS IN THINGS WE CAN'T DIE OUT" or the female equivalent lurking somewhere in the psyche. Basic needs and instinctual impulses can blur together, perhaps. Not that that's an excuse or justification. Being non-religious, that evolutionary suggestion is really the only way I can comprehend how so many people are so extremely anti-abortion.

As for an original contribution, it sometimes annoys me that people continue to be so misunderstanding when it comes to bisexuality or pansexuality. Is it that unfathomable to think that someone could be genuinely attracted more than one gender? I'm not a "fake lesbian" or a "fake hetero" , nor am I inferior to people who are strictly hetero- or homo-sexual.
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Old 08-13-2015, 04:42 AM   #4
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I am a closeted cd, and I have been with a few guys. Even after labeling myself I really hate labels....I would not really consider myself bi I just like to explore and have a good time. My annoyance is that even in 2015 once some puts a label on you it sticks. I guess its just small minded people doing it but its still an annoyance.
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Old 08-13-2015, 06:11 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
It could maybe be argued from a very evolutionary point of view. For any kind of living thing, propagating the species is the primary goal. So even though humans are dramatically more complex than most other living things, there's still that instinctual "COME ON PUT YOUR PENIS IN THINGS WE CAN'T DIE OUT" or the female equivalent lurking somewhere in the psyche. Basic needs and instinctual impulses can blur together, perhaps. Not that that's an excuse or justification. Being non-religious, that evolutionary suggestion is really the only way I can comprehend how so many people are so extremely anti-abortion.

As for an original contribution, it sometimes annoys me that people continue to be so misunderstanding when it comes to bisexuality or pansexuality. Is it that unfathomable to think that someone could be genuinely attracted more than one gender? I'm not a "fake lesbian" or a "fake hetero" , nor am I inferior to people who are strictly hetero- or homo-sexual.
Actually, my original point was from a purely evolutionary point of view (I'm a biologist, after all, and pretty much all of that subject is based on evolution). Also, there are plenty of species that have members who don't biologically reproduce because helping your parent's produce more children is actually as genetically important as reproducing yourself. Your siblings = 50% DNA shared, your children = 50% DNA shared. I just really don't agree that sexual desires are a need for anybody. Nobody will die without it. Everybody will die without oxygen/water/food. Not saying that sexual desires can't be hugely strong or even as strong as hunger etc for some people. Just that they aren't NEEDS and because of that, they are different and not comparable. *shrugs*

Oh god, the bi/pan thing, yes, I understand that so much! I'm panromantic and a lot of people struggle to get their minds around that. They prefer to label me as straight (I've never had a proper relationship with a girl or non-binary person) and insist it is the truth. People suck sometimes.

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I am a closeted cd, and I have been with a few guys. Even after labeling myself I really hate labels....I would not really consider myself bi I just like to explore and have a good time. My annoyance is that even in 2015 once some puts a label on you it sticks. I guess its just small minded people doing it but its still an annoyance.
That is annoying. It is up to the individual person how/whether or not they label themselves. If you don't feel comfortable being labelled then that is up to you, not anybody else to decide.


As for other annoyances that I've thought of! People who don't understand that asexual =/= celibate. I remember having a conversation with my mother (who knows I'm asexual but keeps it hidden like a filthy secret) about sex and she made a comment about how I 'wouldn't understand, being asexual' with the implication that I must also be a virgin. I pointed out to her that I am not, and I have been in sexual relationships with people. And she just couldn't get her head around that at all. She tried to tell me I'm not 'really asexual' or 'can't be asexual'. As though she knows more about my orientation than I do. I don't get how people can easily claim somebody is a 'moneygrabber' or only with somebody for their money/things without batting an eyelid but the idea that an asexual person could have sex with somebody despite not finding them sexually attractive? Mind = blown.
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Old 08-13-2015, 08:48 AM   #6
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Actually, my original point was from a purely evolutionary point of view (I'm a biologist, after all, and pretty much all of that subject is based on evolution). Also, there are plenty of species that have members who don't biologically reproduce because helping your parent's produce more children is actually as genetically important as reproducing yourself. Your siblings = 50% DNA shared, your children = 50% DNA shared. I just really don't agree that sexual desires are a need for anybody. Nobody will die without it. Everybody will die without oxygen/water/food. Not saying that sexual desires can't be hugely strong or even as strong as hunger etc for some people. Just that they aren't NEEDS and because of that, they are different and not comparable. *shrugs*
I would say my view was more from evolutionary psychology, than purely evolutionary. There I completely agree with you; it's not in any way an individual need. I was just saying that our programming could make some people confuse it with basic needs. I feel like psychologically speaking, it can be a little harder to pin down human needs. I've read studies that associated heart problems/health issues with loneliness. Does that, to some extent, mean social interaction is a need, even though it's not as direct as food or water?

But it's actually super interesting that some species mostly help their parents produce more children. I'm glad humans aren't like that; it would be uncomfortable. I should stop derailing the thread now

I have issues with labeling too. I agree with what balletguy said, but also think that labeling is becoming way too prevalent/superfluous. I blame Tumblr. I just recall seeing people declaring themselves part animal or part of a different race/ethnicity. I'm sure, for decades, some people have found cultures they appreciate more than the one they were born into. And people have used animals as symbols of their personality for a long time as well. I feel like these extra labels take credibility away from those that are related to sexuality/gender...but I can't tell if I'm being closed-minded about it.

It would be nice if people could just be who they are, without tacking on a thousand descriptors to explain or find others to relate with.
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Old 08-13-2015, 10:09 AM   #7
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This is a great thread. Gives me alot to think about especially in the GLBTQ world. Amaranthine made a great point, can't we all just be who we are.
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Old 08-17-2015, 10:11 AM   #8
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I wish people had thicker skin. It appears that everything offends everyone anymore. Some people need to really get a grip. Ok I'm off the soapbox for today.
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Old 08-17-2015, 12:37 PM   #9
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I wish people had thicker skin. It appears that everything offends everyone anymore. Some people need to really get a grip. Ok I'm off the soapbox for today.
There isn't an emoticon for a hug, but there needs to be.
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Old 08-17-2015, 12:58 PM   #10
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There isn't an emoticon for a hug, but there needs to be.
HeHe. Your so right
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Old 08-17-2015, 01:15 PM   #11
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If XOXO = hugs and kisses then does X=hugs?
Hmm good point I think so
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Old 08-17-2015, 01:19 PM   #12
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If XOXO = hugs and kisses then does X=hugs?
.....I always thought the x was the kiss and the o was the hug? Like, wrapping your arms in a circle around someone?
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Old 08-17-2015, 01:26 PM   #13
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That makes sense as well. Hmmm
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Old 08-17-2015, 05:05 PM   #14
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It really upsets me when LGBTQ people act against their own self-interest and the good of the LGBTQ community as a whole by voting for conservative political candidates. :\
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:29 AM   #15
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I saw somebody posting that whole 'aromatics/asexuals aren't queer if they are heteroromantic/heterosexual' bullshit. It is bad enough that we get rejected and discriminated against by the straight society without also being ostracized by the LGBT community.

If you aren't romantically or sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender to you, you aren't straight. Simple as.
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Old 08-18-2015, 10:44 AM   #16
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So I am a guy who ocasinally buys female clothes..so what right. Some times the sales people are just down right rude. More often than not, they are great but I had a real bitch wait on me today...
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Old 08-18-2015, 11:51 PM   #17
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So I am a guy who ocasinally buys female clothes..so what right. Some times the sales people are just down right rude. More often than not, they are great but I had a real bitch wait on me today...
There is also some tool out there waiting to ruins someone's day. Sorry you had to meet with someone like that.
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Old 08-19-2015, 04:20 AM   #18
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Thanks your so sweet for saying. She was rude but I did get some cute stuff and on sale so jokes on her.

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There is also some tool out there waiting to ruins someone's day. Sorry you had to meet with someone like that.
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Old 08-20-2015, 02:37 AM   #19
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Thanks your so sweet for saying. She was rude but I did get some cute stuff and on sale so jokes on her.
Sounds like you definitely won there! Also, sales stuff = auto victory when shopping! I may have found a stationary sales section recently and got so excited I knocked everything everywhere. Twice.
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Old 08-21-2015, 03:37 PM   #20
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It really upsets me when LGBTQ people act against their own self-interest and the good of the LGBTQ community as a whole by voting for conservative political candidates. :\
Anyone who votes as such has it "good enough" and don't need our advocacy anymore.

Same with any who decry political correctness.

Again, the only folks I know in the LGBT who do the above are either insanely wealthy and/or cis gay white men and cis white lesbians.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:31 AM   #21
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As older gay men in the gay community, that is what the community was called when I first came out over 30 years ago, I really do not see the new community as I am old clone and prefer it that way.

What annoys me is that the younger community does not acknowledge for the struggles with had to make their lives easier. Gay men and lesbian have it much easier to come out more so than I did. Just a note on my part.
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Old 09-20-2015, 08:24 AM   #22
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It would be nice if people could just accept others for who they are.
They may not agree with your personal lifestyle but they don't need to get shitty about it.
It is much easier to "come out" now thats for sure.
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Old 09-20-2015, 11:46 AM   #23
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Here's a bone I have to pick: When Catelyn Jenner was on Ellen DeGeneres's show the other week a bunch of hubbub was (rightly) made over the fact that Catelyn still wasn't on-board with gay marriage. A BUNCH of hubbub.

But I never see the opposite happen, where some cisgender person in the LGBTQA world gets taken to task for shitty behavior/beliefs with regards to transgender folks. It's not like that kind of awful behavior is hard to find in our community.
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Old 09-21-2015, 04:14 AM   #24
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It would be nice if people could just accept others for who they are.
They may not agree with your personal lifestyle but they don't need to get shitty about it.
It is much easier to "come out" now thats for sure.
Wait, wait. You're part of the QUILTBAG?

I think my brain just broke.
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Old 09-21-2015, 06:06 AM   #25
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Wait, wait. You're part of the QUILTBAG?

I think my brain just broke.
Knowing one thing about a person doesn't always tell us as much else about them as one would expect!
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