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Old 04-16-2007, 09:47 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harrylime View Post
Samster,

Don't listen to any of the so-called constructive criticism. Your story is awesome. I too appreciate realism in the sense that it's not hot when a girl goes from slim to 500 pounds in two days via magic or some other plot device. But should it be realistic to the point of seeming mundane and even depressing?

Simon claims this piece is simply written. Meaning what? That there are no deep, serious questions being raised in the story? That you aren't exploring issues of female insecurity and self-acceptance? Thank God! Nothing kills an erection faster! He complains about your "wiggly" and "gushing" characters. Frankly, there are a lot of women in real life who are EXACTLY like that. I'm not saying they're feminist role models. I'm just saying they exist -- and that they're damned sexy.

Something as stylishly written as "Corporate Chubby" can in no way be called "simple." I still get off on the line in which Tasha is compared to a fat tabby cat who likes to have her belly scratched. That's good, evocative writing.
Whoa, calm down! I just read Simon's post--he acknowledges the triviality of the flaws he pointed out, and actually compliments the author a few times on his work.

I also commented on the simplicity of the writing, and what I'm sure we're both talking about is not the story's content--but rather how the author presents it. Don't jump to conclusions =p
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Old 04-17-2007, 06:13 AM   #27
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I take the points with the simplicity side of things and I appreciate all the feedback. My story is far from perfect and I really do look for ways to improve my writing.

The objective really is to capture the everyday office girls I work with who do gain weight. They don't blimp into huge ladies but they do go from slim to chubby quite quickly and that's the main point. From my experience they also make often feeble efforts to diet and complain about the weight gain; whilst sat on their ass snacking all day. In fact one of the girl I work with just yesterday said "I'm getting fat and I need to diet" and then lectured me on some diet she'd found - then ten minutes later she was snacking on a chocolate bar. Those of you who have worked in an office environment have probably witnessed the same conversation?

Chubby girls and offices are like fat kids and cake; you always find them together!

Honestly, there isn't a huge amount of depth in the characters because I don't think there needs to be - most everyday girls (and men before I get hit as sexist) don't actually have masses of depth. Gaining weight isn't the main thing in Sally's life at all (she's more bothered about her career and earning money); she just is gaining weight. I could have written a story that focused on her relationship with her parents or a whole range of other things but I'm just focusing on her gaining weight!

So thanks for the comments and I am working on the rest of the story!
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Old 04-22-2007, 07:54 AM   #28
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Are weight gain story patterns a cliché? To a degree, yes - and if society were just honest and accepting of the underlying reason we'd all just call such patterns "normal."

The fact is that being or becoming heavier or having a certain kind of appetite is for some people the simple result of their genetic makeup and priorities in life. There are no issues of compulsive eating, food addiction, abuse or self esteem - just a society that tries to leave a collective guilt trip on them because of their size.

WG fiction of a certain type, we term it "realistic" here, sends a message to such individuals - "you're not alone,others have traveled this road before, and there are those who can and want to accept and love you as you are. You just need to love and accept yourself."

My own writing quite intentionally focuses on what I've seen among the larger people in my life - individuals of healthy but not extreme eating patterns or size who tend to gain to a certain point and stabilize at what is, for them, a normal level. In various roles they live life, love and are loved, and are basically content.

For a lot of people this pattern of gaining, demial, acceptance and then stabilization is set at a certain point in life: in high school, college or in the early years of marriage. Samster has in "Corporate Chubbies" identified and focused on another realistic gaining venue: the workplace. I personally find it refreshing territiry in light of the high nuber of realisatic gain stories (all of them good in their own right) focused on scholastic venues.

Cliches? Yes - realistic stories do tend to reflect life as it is. The same could be said or Norman Roclwell paintings or Country and Western songs., But they serve a purpose for their audiences. So no doubt do the revenge and fantasy tales for reasons I'll let their fans explain.
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Old 05-01-2007, 01:57 PM   #29
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It could be argued that WG stories in general are a cliché - they're all working towards one common goal. Many variations, themselves often clichés, branch from the common source of a WG story and come back together somehow in the same thing. But who cares? Clichés are fun.

Samster, I did not at all mean to say the characters need more depth. I believe I said in fact they do not need and in many cases should not have the kind of depth you'd find in a longer, less focused story. Only introduce as many factors of the character as you need to in order to tell the story.

And for the record, I love this story concept, and envy you close to the point of hatred for what you get to experience, because seriously: my preferred average weight range, generally my preferred age area, and most importantly, I absolutely LOVE the hypocrisy of a woman complaining about her weight, and then turning around and actively countering any sworn plans to lose... oh yeah, that's a serious turn on...
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Old 06-23-2007, 03:05 PM   #30
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If there is a continuation, show it to me, please...
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Old 06-24-2007, 04:49 AM   #31
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This is quite easily the best WG piece I have read in a very long time, if not ever! It is erotic, and yet it has a plot that is actually interesting. The style of writting is very good as well, but, nevertheless, it's the actual plot and erotic mixture that is satisfying to me.
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Old 06-26-2007, 05:53 PM   #32
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Yes, the author assures me, this story will be continued. Right now real life issues have him out of his groove, but he does intend to return.
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Old 06-28-2007, 07:10 AM   #33
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The story is indeed continuing and there should be an update soon
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Old 06-28-2007, 12:55 PM   #34
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I've found this to be an utterly accurate depiction of office-girl weight gain. In particular, the balance between the younger newbies on the fence regarding their gain as compared to the older broad who has embraced it -- I've seen that many times. Looking forward to Samster's next chapters.
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Old 07-01-2007, 01:29 PM   #35
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You have a new fan. Great story. Keep writing. You have a wonderful style.
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Old 10-08-2015, 05:29 PM   #36
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I just happened to notice that the link to the next installment to this story was never posted - probably due to the extended delay. So, even though I'm not a mod anymore here it is!
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