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Old 07-13-2015, 05:13 PM   #1
grumbledore
 
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Default weight loss interfering with sex life

Gal:

My fiancé and I have been together for seven years. When we got together, I weighed around 165 (I’m 5’ 1”). Over the years I gained about 15 lbs, and I began to worry about my health. I went to the doctor, and was diagnosed as prediabetic, so I set out to lose the weight fast. Unfortunately, the loss of my belly has also launched an awkward phase in our usually fantastic sex life.

My fiancé is extremely loving and supportive and wants me to be healthy, but is struggling with my changes.

I don’t want to, nor should I, gain the weight back. However, I would be interested in knowing how others have dealt with this situation. It’s one I’m not comfortable explaining to my doctor because we live in a place where everyone is fit, and even a little extra body fat is considered unhealthy. She wouldn’t understand and I would rather not have my doctor criticizing – whether out loud or privately – my relationship, or thinking poorly of my partner because of something that isn’t a conscious choice.

I was wondering if anyone had any tips or suggestions. We’re both hoping that since I’m at the weight I was when we got together, that it’s just a matter of getting used to it.


Guy:

I love my fiancée more than anything, and we have enjoyed a long healthy relationship with a strong sex life. I have been trying for years to get her to eat healthier and I am elated that she has finally changed her unhealthy eating habits. I still find her sexy and beautiful and she is a BBW by most standards, but the recent weight loss has shrunk her belly. I have a pretty serious belly fetish and I find it harder to get aroused and almost impossible to climax without focusing on her belly. However, since she began losing weight she has become more confident and she says that she likes the way she looks now more than she did when she was fatter. I want her to be happy and I have been as supportive as possible, but she can tell how much harder sex has become for me. We have always been open about our sexual preferences so she has been awesome and supportive and we are trying to figure out some solutions together to get our sex lives back on track.

On the one hand she is back roughly to the same size she was when we first got together, so part of me feels like I just need to re-accustom myself to her body type, but I am afraid I have been spoiled by the past few years of enjoying her larger belly. Have any of you been able to turn back the dial and become sexually satisfied with a smaller partner?

Part of me thinks that I would be more attracted if she learned to dance, which is another of my turn-ons, but she has always been uncomfortable dancing and I don’t want to be a creep and force her into anything.
Since the main reason she lost weight was cutting out sugars to avoid diabetes, the idea to gain the weight back by eating lots of healthy foods came up, but she is happier with her appearance now that she lost some weight.

In short, we don’t know what to do. We are extremely happy together and would not dream of breaking up over something so superficial, but we want our sex lives back damn it! Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated.
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Old 10-21-2015, 04:52 AM   #2
DonnieD80
 
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Hi dears, I've been through a similar situation a couple of times. I totally love my fiancée, and I'd always thought it couldn't be affected by her weight. But as you've noticed, sex life is a different matter.
When me and my girlfriend met, 8 or so years ago, she was skinny as a twig, and even if my sexual preference goes to the well-fed/chubby girls, that wasn't a problem. I had always been open in regards of my sexual turn-ons and little fetishes, and she went along very well with them, even if she made immediately clear that I would have been able to enjoy watching her indulge a bit on food, since she always had had a good appetite, but putting on weight was another matter, something that wouldn't have happened because her metabolism was too fast.
But years of relaxed life style together proved her wrong, and her skinny 110 lbs (she is 5'7"), slowly but steadily softened up to a chubby 155 lbs. And, together with her body, our sex life bloomed. A glimpse of her new chubby belly or an hand on her soft roll were enough to make me drool over her. Maybe she wasn't appreciating the added pounds so much, but not even complaining that much; moreover she was surely appreciating the powerful effect they had on me and all the added attentions.
Then our relationship crossed a difficult period for different reasons. We drifted apart for some months, and both of us suffered a lot of stress. That caused her also to lose many of those 45 pounds she had previously gained, and when things settled down and we started hanging out again, she was down to 130 lbs.
We were happy being together again, and she was happier with her thin body, more confident, more dominant, even eager to take me to bed to flaunt her new slim silhouette.
But there our problem aroused. With no potbelly in sight, and no love handles to grab, I simply wasn't able to do anything in bed. It was frustrating for both of us, so we tried to figure out a solution together.
Sometimes she was just talking about her once softer body, asking me if I really appreciated her more with her rolls and bulges.. and only hearing she talking that way worked, and "saved the night" more than once..
So we tried a bit of role playing.. pretending she was still chubby, pretending she was going to get chubby again, you know, talking about all the differences she was experiencing, fitting in her jeans, wearing a bikini, flaunting her body at the parties, talking about how I would have liked her to be..
But it wasn't always easy, at times she was just pissed off by my attention focusing on something she wasn't "dreaming about": her being chubby!
It even happened that I turned to be the focus of my fetish.. since I accidentally put on a few pounds. She seems to be amused and surprised, even if that wasn't her fetish, at least it was funny, it was happening, and it didn't imply pounds piling on her body! I really considered if it could have worked, letting my thinner and more confident girl spoil me with good home cooked meals, caressing my added girth while watching the number on the scale going up under my feet, and feeling her trim toned body leaning on my softer one.
But time and her good appetite solved our problem.. Not even 6 months and I spotted a tiny fat roll forming over her pyjama's waistband while we were sitting on our couch. Cheese cake or ice cream were accompanying most of our nights, and looking at her overindulgence with that tangible clue of her gluttony back in sight was the biggest turn-on. One year of relaxed life style and she was blooming again, chubbier than ever.
I know that's not going to help you with your actual problem, but that's how things have gone here back then. I hope you could consider those temporary remedies we were trying to adopt when she was thin again, even if we had no time to see what was going to really work. And of course, it really depends on every single couple.
The fact is that now we are starting to experience it all over again.. After having gained back all the weight, she went even beyond, topping it with another 15 pounds, reaching a point where she felt really too heavy, her doctor told her she was going to get overweight, and she lost some confidence.
So now I am supporting her diet, and we are happy with the result.. those 15 extra pounds are gone.. but as you imagine, I'm starting to find it less alluring in bed..
Let me know what do you think and how things go there, and if you have any question I'll be happy to share my experiences!
Take care
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Old 10-27-2015, 10:29 PM   #3
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Yes guy you need to love her no matter what her size is.
Put your fetish aside.
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