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Old 07-29-2014, 06:47 PM   #1
Iannathedriveress
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Default Struggles into transition of becoming a female

For a long time I have struggle figure out who I am as a person. I always though I was just an average male, but always felt that something is missing. Then I woke one day and begin to think that maybe I'm not a male but a female that is trapped in a male's body. Then I begin to connect my past along with why I like playing female characters in video games and realize that I am born in the wrong gender. After this discovery I begin to do loads of research on the transgender community. However, when I told my father that I want to transition to female, he was shocked, scared, and worried. I was nervous because I though he would hate me because of fear and hatred, but yet he accepts me because I'm his child. All that my father wants me to be is to be happy and be myself. I haven't told my mother just yet but I am really nervous. To me becoming a female will make me happy because I know who I am as person on the inside, its the outside that doesn't match.
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Old 07-29-2014, 08:09 PM   #2
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Default Just try to understand:

People react...with fear, anger, anxiety, etc...because they're projecting their own self-judgements onto a situation that's, basically, totally outside themselves, that they have no control over.

Your dad is responding as he is, despite whatever your preconceptions of how else he might feel about it; because, somehow, he realizes....that's all he can do: either accept it or not. And that, either way, nothing he does or chooses not-to will alter the fundamental reality of it. Generally, that's how real adults deal with things.

Your mom will be fine with it as well. Provided and once she arrives at a a similar type of understanding, that this has nothing to do with how they raised you. That it's just how it it is.

But, the time & effort it takes for just anyone to recognize this is sometimes the result of a two part equation, only one part over which you really have any control, in terms of what you bring to to the table. Which is, necessarily, factored against their own personal insecurities and self-doubts. That is, if you approach them from a place quiet-calm, self-assuredness, of not really asking any else of them but for their own personal-acceptance; then it will tend to make it a bit easier. If not necessarily easy per-se....

I guess I'm trying to say....in these types of conversations...a lot of what (I think) is the most unnecessary difficulty comes about from getting mired in the details, that are as-yet a ways off. When it's really the broad-strokes that matter most:

You've realized something about yourself. Which is not always so simple to articulate. There will be some challenges ahead. But it doesn't really change what's immutable; they are your parents and you are their child. And that you do your best to support each other...
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Old 07-30-2014, 06:12 AM   #3
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I don't really have any advice, just sending best wishes for things to work out as well as possible, and to affirm that this is a great place to unload some of your feelings, when you need to.

OK, I lied, one piece of advice. Arrange to see a counselor in this sort of area before you really start doing much, at least a little bit (I realize that access and cost could both be issues). While everybody is unique, certain journeys tend to have a lot of steps in common, and talking with someone who has studied the route and its pluses and pitfalls has to make things easier.

Again, good luck and best wishes!
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Old 07-30-2014, 11:30 AM   #4
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Good luck with your transition. I highly recommend seeing a counselor who is experienced with helping people through their transition and seeing if there are any support groups near you.
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Old 08-10-2015, 03:47 PM   #5
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Things have been going good in my transiton. Of course there have been ups and downs but today I started spiro as the small step towards to being a woman.
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Old 08-11-2015, 05:54 PM   #6
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I'm glad to hear you're taking your first steps. If you need any advice there's other trans girls here too.
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Old 08-27-2015, 04:16 PM   #7
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Your story sounds a LOT like mine, honestly. I was terrified to tell my mom, but she was supportive, while still a bit surprised. (My dad has passed, so he isn't here to tell.)

You are much farther ahead then I am, but just remember that this is who you ARE. People will be dumb, and say and react stupidly too, but just be confident, and lean on those who love and support you.

And last of all... You go girl!


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Old 11-09-2015, 09:18 PM   #8
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I got the rest of the female hormones today.
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Old 11-10-2015, 12:32 AM   #9
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I got the rest of the female hormones today.
Yay! Congrats!
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Old 11-10-2015, 06:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClutchingIA19 View Post
I got the rest of the female hormones today.
Woot-- grats
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Old 11-10-2015, 07:46 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClutchingIA19 View Post
I got the rest of the female hormones today.
Kickass. Welcome to a happier place.
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Old 11-12-2015, 04:29 PM   #12
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I wish you all the best I really do.
Just sorting out things can be very hard but you seem to have made an informed decision as to what is right for you.
Its a very expensive ordeal if you go all the way and it has its ups and downs but if you want it bad enough its worth it.
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Old 07-06-2016, 08:03 AM   #13
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Today marks my 2 year anniversary since the birth of Ianna, the day I started my transition from male to female.
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Old 07-06-2016, 08:44 AM   #14
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A cutey indeed. Stay strong you have come so far.
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Old 07-06-2017, 07:29 PM   #15
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Today marks 3 years since I started my entire transition from male to female. From just shaving my arms and legs to hormones to getting my name legally changed, I have come far but I feel like I'm getting started.
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:53 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Iannathedriveress View Post
Today marks 3 years since I started my entire transition from male to female. From just shaving my arms and legs to hormones to getting my name legally changed, I have come far but I feel like I'm getting started.
Congrats! You look great
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Old 07-07-2017, 04:40 AM   #17
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Happy anniversary
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Old 07-08-2017, 08:55 AM   #18
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Congratulation Hun!! I'm very happy for you!
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Old 07-08-2017, 09:51 PM   #19
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Happy New you Day! Love the pic, such a cutie. Big hugs, sometimes the world can be a tough place. Glad you shared with us.
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Old 07-12-2017, 10:04 AM   #20
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I think that there is nothing better than knowing who you really are. Congrats!
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Old 09-18-2017, 06:30 AM   #21
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You're an inspiration Ianna, I feel guilty talking about this here because I feel like I haven't had to endure as much of a struggle, I mean certainly I've been conflicted about my gender identity my whole life trying to reconcile my female and male sides but to a much much lesser extent.

I recently realised that I'm both I have a male and a female soul (or consciousness/energy or whatever you want to call it) I can remember at high school in a class we all took a test while the teacher wasn't around about what gender your brain is and I scored the highest female percentage out of the guys although I have a feeling perhaps I was the only honest male (a la toxic masculinity)

I felt like my whole life my Dad wanted me to be more of a mans man, (although lately I've learned that most of the time my expectations of other peoples expectations was wildly off my whole life) I recently reconnected with my Dad and it was bizarre he'd lost a ton of weight and his beard leaving only a pretty formidable stache, but he looked sad and thin, I know he's struggled with his own weight for all of his life and though our family has a predilection to run to fat (or at least stroll to "over"weight) including my Gramps (his Dad) but they've always been jokingly ashamed of it (except perhaps my uncle who I guess was my only male body positive role model)

Anyway I'm getting off track, recently my fiancÚ and I told each other everything and I mean everything (the truth will set you free) all of our worries were about the other leaving if they knew the truth were complete nonsense it was the courage to speak the truth which makes us sexy fully realised people that you want to have a relationship with. This was when we decided to propose to each other, I also opened up about my conflicted gender identity and that I wanted to explore my female sexuality, it's been very slow so far but I'm getting there (I also discovered that I have a tantric vagina!) I'm not sure exactly how it works as this is all very new but I'll keep you posted as I discover my new female sexuality, I haven't told my parents about this yet I guess I'm pretty scared how my Dads going to react but I also know I don't have to care about it.

Anyway sorry about the rambling post I just wanted to say your journey of self acceptance is an inspiration to me, I think you're the sexy hotness and I hope it's true that blondes have more fun
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