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Old 01-06-2016, 10:45 PM   #1
PoorP
 
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Default Ex-Cheerleader

[Author's note: Any feedback on this is appreactied and highly wanted. I feel that my writing is a bit dry. If anybody can pinpoint or criticize me on ways to spice it up is really, really, wanted.

Another Author's note: Sylvester is featureless because I wanted for the reader to easily step into his shoes. Enjoy.]

Ex-Cheerleader
by PoorP

Stacy, former captain of the cheerleading squad, is the total package. Bravely flawless with universally remarkable facial features. She stands at six feet on the dot with a killer athletic physique with the well-toned curves of a Greek Goddess. A sporty, confident personality, but is more of the “actions speak louder than words” kind of girl, and to top it all off, long flowing brunette locks that is braided in the back.

Best of all, her heart belonged to Sylvester and his to Stacy.

Years back in junior college, Sylvester unintentionally learned more about than he had in any of his subject matters. He had cared little about her popularity and “greatness”. Every little thing was always Stacy this and Stacy that.


Stacy.

Stacy.

Stacy.



Naturally, she couldn’t help it. Stacy was just the kind of person that was on everyone’s lips. In a good way. Students, teachers, parents, alumni, complete strangers gave her constant streams of appraisal just for her being her, yet none of it captured Sylvester’s appreciation, if anything it annoyed him greatly.


Sylvester, the “lone wolf” of the graduating class, is one to rather pay attention to himself and his training to become a professional chef rather than drool over the pictures of what Stacey wore to school that day. Not that he was the weird kid in school or anything, everyone just saw him as someone who’s there, nothing strange or extraordinary about him. Just there.


Often times his conversations about the amazing recipes he created experimenting at home would often be intercepted and transformed into what Stacey ate for lunch that day or what she did in class or who she sat next to. Yeah. People were that enticed by her and everyone remained star struck throughout the four years, except for him.


Alternatively, Stacy didn’t know Sylvester existed at all during high school. With people flocking to her left and right, there wasn’t really a need to go scout out new friends, especially the quiet kids in the class.


Sure, being popular did have its perks; People willing to do your homework, drive you to and from school, do the most mundane things for you for just a little smidgen of attention. Yet, to a huge to surprise to everyone, she denied it all. She denied going to parties every weekend. She denied dates from the jocks and other popular kids who were mostly in it for that one thing. She denied ‘Tee-Pee-ing’ the principals house. She ignored anything that would make her feel...she didn’t know.


Stacy didn’t know how she wanted to be treated. She never gave it a serious thought, but going to a school feeling like some kind of pampered queen began to feel wrong. She once worried if she missed an entire day of school everyone would freak out, yet upon her return would throw a parade.


No. That’s incredibly pretentious.


Stacy wished for the day that someone would treat her like an equal; that was it! An equal and stop acting like every little action that she made was flawless.


And so, a few weeks after graduation, that wish came true.


Scone City, the city of scones located in one store. In the middle of the city. Of course the store was more than a one-stop shop for scones. They also did custom birthday cakes, jelly filled cupcakes, seaweed donuts, etc. Basically, as the list went on the more ridiculous the crazy concoctions got.


Sylvester brought out another fresh batch of donuts after another. The boss demanded that the pastries on display look as mouthwatering as, “Those freshly made Hardees burger from the commercials. Y’know the ones that fall in perfect order. Bun, onion, tomato, meat, cheese, meat, cheese, lettuce, sauces, and sesame seed bun. Like that, yet pastries aren’t made like that. Just do the best you can.”, and nothing looked better than a perfectly glazed donut cooling off in the display glass.


After setting the bakery’s trademark scones on the top shelf, Sylvester turned his attention to the dingle-ling from the front door where he saw Stacy saunter in.


Sylvester rolled his eyes, thinking that Stacy believes she looks drop dead gorgeous. With her Louie Viton sunglasses, the orange sundress she wore waved through the air while giving hints of her curvaceous figure, and her impressive bust outlined from the sundress’s snugness around the torso.


Stacey hung her sunglasses from the chest of her sundress, perched her elbows on the counter, and ogled the display counter. Anyone from behind would find it hard to not drink in her slender legs leading up to the most delectable behind a woman in her late teens could kill to have. What a tease.


Sylvester expected some kind of massive paparazzi or clique to fill the restaurant with a bunch of unwanted buzz. But, no. It seemed to be just her today, oddly enough.

While the superstar idly stared at the massive selection, Sylvester turned up the volume on the radio. He wasn’t going to let some attention hog distract him from his favorite song.


Stacy began rocking her head in sync with the music. Sylvester noticed this and smiled. He couldn’t help, but to stare dumbfoundedly at the way Stacy’s silky hair flowed along with her pretty head.


Hey! Get back to work! Don’t fall into her trap.


Sylvester returned his attention to making labels for the new pastries; with the occasional glance toward the woman at the counter. A few times he was caught glancing at her. Stacy’s sharp blue eyes met with his. He looked away. Was it him being caught looking at her or did he catch her looking at him?


Using his non-existent detective skills, Sylvester deduced that Stacy liked the band on radio,. From the way she tapped her foot to the way she hummed the lyrics perfectly, “No way.”


As a huge fan, he knew that exact band would be in town next week. With tickets already in his possession he was ready to take his friends and himself to the concert. Except, for those particular friends leaving on a summer road trip just days ago. Crud.


He pondered, “I can’t let all of these tickets go to waste. I wonder…”


“’Scuse me, uh,” The moment Stacey looked at him, his mouth felt the driest it’s ever been. Why is that? ”D-do you like this band? Cause I-I,” he cleared his throat. What’s happening? “Have tickets to their concert next week if yo-“


Stacy interrupted. It was then that Sylvester had heard Stacy speak for the first time. Her voice, passionate, airy, confident, and direct. With her tone of voice combined with her words she had taken Sylvester the heart of his hopes and sliced it open.


Sylvester had never felt like this before. To be stunned and uncertain of his next move or words. It was new to him. He had talked to many girls before, but Stacy was different. Very different.


Guess what everyone else said was true.


The former cheerleader popped on her sunglasses and left the young chef speechless behind counter. His heart. The strange new feeling had made him feel the most vulnerable he’s felt in years.


Sylvester walked into the bathroom, closed his eyes, and put his forehead to the mirror. The feeling of uncertainty was the bane of his existence. Why did he do that? Why did she do that? What made her respond like that? He couldn’t fathom. All that he could figure was the he needed to shake this off. He made a stupid decision and he deserved what he got. He looked himself in the mirror and decided to take what was coming to him like a man.


“What time should I pick her up for the concert?”

Last edited by agouderia; 01-07-2016 at 04:55 AM. Reason: Formatting
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Old 01-07-2016, 07:20 AM   #2
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I actually like the writing style I feel like maybe you should show Stacy's words in response to the concert request (just a simple sentence, like "I'd love to." or something). I was slightly lost for a few sentences while i tried to figure out if she'd said yes or no.

Other than that, well, we have see about a gazillion 'former cheer-leader gets fat' stories, but in most of them the former cheer-leader is stuck up and the gain is entirely unwanted, they are kind of 'mental revenge on the popular girls' sort of thing in many cases. I get the feeling that may not be where you are going with this one, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.
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Old 01-07-2016, 10:47 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
I actually like the writing style I feel like maybe you should show Stacy's words in response to the concert request (just a simple sentence, like "I'd love to." or something). I was slightly lost for a few sentences while i tried to figure out if she'd said yes or no.
I thought that was intentional, and kinda liked it - it's written in a way to make you think that she said no, but then you find out that she said yes.
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Old 01-08-2016, 06:58 AM   #4
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Fair enough--I was reading quickly (one downside as a moderator, often I'm quickly scanning to see 'is there any issues with this story staying up?' rather than taking my time to enjoy it properly), so might have been more confused than someone taking their time.
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