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Old 05-17-2016, 02:00 PM   #1
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Default F/FA's Who Are Fat Themselves

Are F/FA's who are overweight themselves perceived differently (either by the fat ppl they admire or by society in general) than slim F/FA's? I think there's this idea that fat ppl kinda go together as couples so it would seem less weird, plus I would imagine a non-F/FA fat person might feel less of a "creep-factor" coming from a fellow fatty who likes ppl like themselves vs a skinny person who likes fat ppl. But there is also prolly the idea that a fat person decides to "settle" with another fat person because they "can't do any better", which makes them simultaneously seem less creepy and less genuine in their desire compared to a thin person who could take their pick of partners but really prefers a larger lover.
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Old 05-17-2016, 06:57 PM   #2
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Its been my experience that the majority of BBWs would much rather hookup with a thin guy.
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Old 05-17-2016, 08:01 PM   #3
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I think sometimes there is a fear of breaking him, that is somehow better if he's not too small. But I wouldn't be surprised if the preferences obese people have in a partner mirror the preferences that society has as a whole. Especially since obese people are a majority of people in the US.
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Old 05-18-2016, 12:42 PM   #4
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I think there is actually quite a difference between the way a lot of BBWs see themselves and the way most big guys see themselves. Over the past couple of decades the amount of support for BBWs has greatly increased (this is obviously a good thing). Most BBWs today see themselves as sexually desirable and have quite a bit of self-confidence (again a good thing).

Unfortunately the situation for big guys has gotten worse. Women have increasingly high and increasingly specific physical standards for guys. While (outside of Hollywood) the range for what is acceptable is increasing for women it's decreasing for men.
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Old 05-19-2016, 06:54 AM   #5
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Generally I think preference is independent of one's own body type. I'm sure there are people out there who prefer BBW/BHM because they themselves fit that description same as there are fit people who will only date for people. This is by no means universal. In my years as an FA I've learned that a lot of BBWs prefer thin/lean/athletic guys like myself. and of course as a fit guy who prefers fat women I am nowhere close to being unique: plenty of fit people (men and women alike) prefer bigger partners.

To Bigmac's point, I think how you view that is a matter of perspective. My wife would shake her head and give an emphatic "not true" to those points. It is true that women value appearance (and I don't think anyone would ever try to deny that) a man's "worth" is not as closely tied to his appearance as is a woman's. In today's society, being a fat woman may just be the single most egregious and wide spread social faux pax one can commit. You don't see women driving around with "no fat guys" bumper stickers. Some of the world's strongest power lifters look like fat guys but they get the benefit of the doubt because they can DL 1000+ pounds raw. Or think about guys built like offensive linemen on a football team. No such benefit of the doubt exists for a fat woman. On a societal level she has less "value" because her appearance is is less pereferred.

Just an opinion, of course. People's opinions will vary based on experiences.
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Old 05-19-2016, 08:40 AM   #6
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HM nicely states the old paradigm. However, I believe there has been a paradigm shift. IMHO it is now women who value looks more. At the higher end of the socioeconomic spectrum women are now financially much more independent and grow up being told they can have everything. Everything of course includes a hot guy. At the low end the number of guys who can actually support a family (or even make a meaningful contribution) continues to decrease. Women in this sphere of society can reason that if a guys not going to be useful he damn well better be decorative.
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Old 05-19-2016, 09:30 AM   #7
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I was always a hungry kid – probably why I was over thirty pounds at my one year old check-up. My parents did a pretty good job of getting me to eat fairly reasonably, with a mix of how much they gave me and constant coaching on what we’d now call EQ – delaying snacks, having just a small snack, etc. I’ve sometimes summarized the main message I got growing up as “You can have as many cookies as you want; but you should only want one.” (and wanting approval, I’d just have one, even though I so desperately wanted more)

Sometimes I wonder if my path to FA-ness was simply seeking someone who would only go with the first part of that sentence “You can have as many cookies as you want.” By this line of reasoning, I thought that the only people who would value being fat and indulging a large appetite were others who were fat and indulged a large appetite, so clearly I should look for another fat person. Supporting evidence for this line of reasoning was that my first pseudo-sexual fantasies were about myself, the chubby neighbor boy, and the two heaviest girls in my grade six class having a sort of weight gain club, and I’d map out how over the years we’d learn to gain faster and faster, and when we finished high-school the fattest boy would get to date the fattest girl (my romantic/sexual imagination was not well developed back then … and may have been mostly inspired by Archie comics).

I’m not at all sure that this is why I like what I like, but it would make a nice convenient explanation. (I’m usually suspicious of simple explanations for any human behavior/preferences, which is why I’m not convinced).
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Old 05-19-2016, 10:03 AM   #8
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I'm a BBW and an FFA. As somebody who is asexual, I don't have a lot of physical desires but I've always been attracted to fat people in general, even as a kid. It is hard for me to be physically attracted to weight/fatness but not to the person as a whole without feeling like an objectifying creep, but as I've gotten older I've finally learnt to reconcile these two things in my head. It is okay to watch videos and look at pictures of people that they put into the public domain to be admired and fantasised over by strangers. You have their consent to admire their bodies. And as for being in relationships, the fact that I'm not sexually attracted to them as a whole is okay too; it doesn't make my love for them and their charm and their heart and their beauty any less valid and real. This realisation, combined with looking back at pictures of myself, made me realise something else.

I have always been fixated on fat, even as a little kid, and that is okay. That is why, growing up, I always saw myself as fat and huge even though, looking at photos etc... I was a very scrawny child and teenager. I was just super focused on what little softness I did have, ever since I was a kid. And now I understand that I can come to accept that I like being bigger, that I like being soft and full and round. I don't have to beat myself up about it or hate myself for liking it anymore. I am fat, and I like fat, I like my partners to be fat and I love people, fat or thin, for being who they are on the inside, nothing else. Cliche though that might be. And once I love you, as a person... it doesn't matter what you look like, you will be gorgeous to me. And I damn well expect that if you are my partner, you find my fat-ass self every bit as gorgeous as well.
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Old 05-19-2016, 11:18 AM   #9
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I was always a hungry kid probably why I was over thirty pounds at my one year old check-up. My parents did a pretty good job of getting me to eat fairly reasonably, with a mix of how much they gave me and constant coaching on what wed now call EQ delaying snacks, having just a small snack, etc. Ive sometimes summarized the main message I got growing up as You can have as many cookies as you want; but you should only want one. (and wanting approval, Id just have one, even though I so desperately wanted more)

Sometimes I wonder if my path to FA-ness was simply seeking someone who would only go with the first part of that sentence You can have as many cookies as you want. By this line of reasoning, I thought that the only people who would value being fat and indulging a large appetite were others who were fat and indulged a large appetite, so clearly I should look for another fat person. Supporting evidence for this line of reasoning was that my first pseudo-sexual fantasies were about myself, the chubby neighbor boy, and the two heaviest girls in my grade six class having a sort of weight gain club, and Id map out how over the years wed learn to gain faster and faster, and when we finished high-school the fattest boy would get to date the fattest girl (my romantic/sexual imagination was not well developed back then and may have been mostly inspired by Archie comics).

Im not at all sure that this is why I like what I like, but it would make a nice convenient explanation. (Im usually suspicious of simple explanations for any human behavior/preferences, which is why Im not convinced).
Yep, this. It's interesting to hear a man's perspective on growing up as a chubby child with a strong appetite, I always felt a lot of the stuff I went through with that was gender-related, you know, "good girls don't...". When I was really little I bugged my parents for food all the time (when I was still a baby, about 1.5, I somehow managed to get into the refrigerator, Mom says she found me stuffing wee baby handfuls of cherry tomatoes into my mouth and giggling hysterically), but once I got to be 5-ish and started realizing what was expected of me, I couldn't bring myself to utter the words "I'm hungry" even though I was more often than not. Didn't want to bother Mommy with having to stop what she was doing to feed me all the time, didn't want ppl to think I was a fat, greedy, little hungry piggy.

Still whenever I got the chance away from my parents I'd stuff myself, parties and the vending machines at school (thank God I finished secondary school pre-Obamas) were like manna from heaven. We had these knock-off Oreo things, that came in round tubes about the size of one sleeve in a standard Oreo package, abut 8" long, I would eat a couple of those plus a little bag of Doritos plus 3-4 candies plus my lunch (in the good old days when pizza and french fries were plentiful and ketchup counted as a veggie ). When my parents were away I'd raid the kitchen and scarf up cheese by the block and peanut butter by the spoonful. Nothing makes you question the meaning of life and your own existence quite like sucking pancake syrup and salad dressing straight from their respective bottles all whilst keeping your ears cocked for the imminent arrival of the familial food police, or panicking when you come home from school and realize your mom cleaned your room while you were gone, because she might have found your sweets stash. I'm surprised I hardly ever got caught, idk if I was just that good at being sneaky or if my parents knew but didn't say anything or what.

Since I've come to live with my godparents it's gotten worse, they are health-food junkies, but weirdly I find they've started loosening up with me food-wise in the past few days, there was an incident where I felt sick from getting too hungry (bizarre I know but it happens to me) that they witnessed which may be part of it (I still can't bring myself to ask for food outside of mealtimes but I know I really should have on this day). I know when I start college I'm gonna go nuts at first with my new-found food freedom, I'm really looking forward to it but also the idea of completely losing control scares me just a little. Just a few days ago I was watching a YouTube documentary about "half-ton man" Patrick Deuel and I was just floored when one of the obesity doctors said most ppl can go 6-8 hours between meals (http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...6&postcount=44), cause I am usually either still hungry after eating or hungry again within an hour or two after a "normal size meal". Even when I was very young restricting what/how much I ate felt like holding my breath and being able to eat without restrictions felt like finally coming up for air. That is how I've felt my whole life, like I'm holding my breath 24/7 for other's approval, bt when I'm alone I can finally breathe (binge) which comes with great relief and pleasure, but also some guilt and shame and fear of being discovered, of everyone knowing I'm not the good little girl who is never hungry after all, that I am just a big, fat, greedy pig. Is this just me, anybody else (Tad?) feel this way? Wow, I feel like I've just had a therapy session or something, hope my insurance covers this, lol.
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Old 05-19-2016, 11:26 AM   #10
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I'm a BBW and an FFA.
I can't seem to get the BBW label to stick when I try to apply it to myself. I don't feel fat enough. Wonder if the label will get stickier 14 pounds from now when I'm officially obese?
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Old 05-20-2016, 04:55 PM   #11
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HM nicely states the old paradigm. However, I believe there has been a paradigm shift. IMHO it is now women who value looks more. At the higher end of the socioeconomic spectrum women are now financially much more independent and grow up being told they can have everything. Everything of course includes a hot guy. At the low end the number of guys who can actually support a family (or even make a meaningful contribution) continues to decrease. Women in this sphere of society can reason that if a guys not going to be useful he damn well better be decorative.
You make some solid points and it's tough to argue against them. If that is indeed the direction things are heading I still think it'll take a long time to "re-norm." Women have always been valued for their appearance far more than men have, and it'll take more than just contemporary economic trends to shift that toward center or outright reverse it. Still, it's a well-stated support of your position. You don't see that every day on internet forums!
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Old 05-21-2016, 06:53 AM   #12
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I have had nonFAs tell me they noticed "guys who are into fat chicks are usually either fat themselves, which 'makes sense because they have given up' or they are really thin" followed by some derogatory remark. They didn't realize I was an FA, a long time ago. I have always wonder how many where actually FA/FFAs. When I was a kid I use to wish that I realized that fat couple where part of some sort of secret society and none of them were settling. They just knew what they liked and ignored social norms.

I would expect more of a stigma against thin FAs (I am biased though being a thinner weightlifting FA). So many people have said in front of me that I don't care about looks... I am not shallow but in my eyes I only date beautiful women. I have tried to respond to this in many ways but really haven't found the best way to do so. I have always wanted to just shou out, "you are fing blind!"

I am sure BHMs who are FAs also receive Stigma too.
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Old 05-21-2016, 07:20 AM   #13
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I have had nonFAs tell me they noticed "guys who are into fat chicks are usually either fat themselves, which 'makes sense because they have given up' or they are really thin" followed by some derogatory remark. They didn't realize I was an FA, a long time ago. I have always wonder how many where actually FA/FFAs. When I was a kid I use to wish that I realized that fat couple where part of some sort of secret society and none of them were settling. They just knew what they liked and ignored social norms.

I would expect more of a stigma against thin FAs (I am biased though being a thinner weightlifting FA). So many people have said in front of me that I don't care about looks... I am not shallow but in my eyes I only date beautiful women. I have tried to respond to this in many ways but really haven't found the best way to do so. I have always wanted to just shou out, "you are fing blind!"

I am sure BHMs who are FAs also receive Stigma too.
As a pretty fit/athletic FA myself I can relate and completely agree with this post.

First, I've heard it many times: "Guys who like fat chicks are themselves fat, sickly thin/weak, unemployed or underemployed, uneducated, lack self confidence and otherwise entirely undesirable." Obviously I don't agree with this and defy just about every one of those descriptions but I've learned once people make up their minds about something no amount of real evidence otherwise will make them change their minds.

I've also encountered the argument that guys like you and I make things harder for guys who don't want to date fat girls. :roll eyes: Really. While it would seem to me I've made it easier for them by removing myself from the pool of men who want to date "hot" girls and keeping myself exclusively for overweight women, I am no longer competing with them for the women they want. However that logic doesn't translate in their minds. Their reasoning is that by dating an "unworthy fat woman" I am sending a message to other women that it is okay to be fat and they will let themselves go. Forget that women are independent thinkers and may not want to gain weight purely out of a desire to be in a certain kind of physical shape. Apparently their "logic" makes more sense to them than my own.

I can also relate to the "shallow" arguments. I don't deserve a pat on the back for not being shallow because I date fat women. (Or dated. I'm married now.) I date the women I find attractive, just like anyone. Now as it happens, I don't think I am shallow because I do value more than just appearance. But preferring fat women doesn't make me not shallow. It makes me a guy who values the way a fat woman looks the same way some other guy may value the way a cheerleader's body looks.

I've encountered a lot of different reactions over the years, and honestly not all of it is negative. In fact, recently I had a co-worker who is for all intents and purposes mainstream "hot" respond extremely favorably when she learned I like bigger girls. I've been meaning to share that story on another thread. But it is incredible to me how badly being an FA can ruin someone else's day. There is definitely a stigma associated with it, but honestly I've come to embrace it. Despite all the body positive movements out there, BBWs are still soundly mocked in our society, and if being married to one means sharing in that humiliation, then so be it. It is a small price to pay for being with the person I want to be with.
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Old 05-21-2016, 08:49 AM   #14
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I've been fat most of my life (i.e. only kid im my 1st grade class who weighed more than 100 pounds). However, on three occassions I have managed to loose enough weight to qualify as "normal" on weight charts. Each time I was able to maintain for a few years but eventually the weight found its way back. This morning I weight 298 pounds (I'm 6'4").

Some personal observations:

The one time I weighted over 320 pounds I started to encounter looks of disgust from women during the course of everyday activities (very disconcerting).

When I weight between about 270 and 310 pound I'm pretty much invisible. When dealing with people in ordinary situations the interactions are pretty much perfunctory.

When I weighed less than 270 pounds it wasn't at all uncommon for women to initiate conversations or to respond in very positive ways if I initiated.

What I glean from my experiences over many decades in many locations is that there are very very few women willing to engage with let alone date a fat guy. This is quantitatively different than the situation fat women live. While fat women certainly face challenges they at least have a significant constituency of admirers. Bottom line is that there are far more guys attracted to fat women than there a women attracted to fat guys.
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Old 05-21-2016, 09:57 AM   #15
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I've been fat most of my life (i.e. only kid im my 1st grade class who weighed more than 100 pounds). However, on three occassions I have managed to loose enough weight to qualify as "normal" on weight charts. Each time I was able to maintain for a few years but eventually the weight found its way back. This morning I weight 298 pounds (I'm 6'4").

Some personal observations:

The one time I weighted over 320 pounds I started to encounter looks of disgust from women during the course of everyday activities (very disconcerting).

When I weight between about 270 and 310 pound I'm pretty much invisible. When dealing with people in ordinary situations the interactions are pretty much perfunctory.

When I weighed less than 270 pounds it wasn't at all uncommon for women to initiate conversations or to respond in very positive ways if I initiated.

What I glean from my experiences over many decades in many locations is that there are very very few women willing to engage with let alone date a fat guy. This is quantitatively different than the situation fat women live. While fat women certainly face challenges they at least have a significant constituency of admirers. Bottom line is that there are far more guys attracted to fat women than there a women attracted to fat guys.
Is that why fat guys are always nice to me, cause I'm the only woman who treats them like humans? That's sad.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:09 AM   #16
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Bigmac, I certainly don't want to suggest your experiences are not valid. I've just observed plenty in the opposite direction: Including many fit women who prefer big men.

So the idea here is not to be argumentative but to point out that it does not work universally in one direction. I know plenty more BBWs who are single than I do men. I've witnessed plenty of BBWs being openly made fun of in public but never have witnessed the same toward BHM. Granted, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen just that from my observation it is not as wide spread.

Lastly I don't see the stigma that I and fueling fire have mentioned applied toward fit women who date BHM. In fact, in many cases some of the BHM my wife and I know seem to be very popular among women.

Our experiences will always shape how we see something. However I think it is vital to recognize our experiences are not universally right. Seems that for every experience there is an equal and opposite experience out there somewhere.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:29 AM   #17
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I completely agree with happily married. I didn't want to speak for BHMs because I really can only guess what you go through. I through in my last sentence hoping to relay that. I also left out stuff about the thin guys being basically stereotypical rednecks. I get told so often I don't look like a guy who is into "fat chick" by BBWs. I realize it's meant as a compliment but doesn't feel like one.

I love it when there is a new interesting thread in the FA/FFA forum!
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Old 05-21-2016, 12:00 PM   #18
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There is also a difference between how fat ppl get treated online where more F/FA's are "out" vs how they get treated in day-to-day meatspace. I think maybe the idea of BBWs having all these admirers throwing themselves at them is mostly an internet phenomenon, next time you are at the mall count how many slim couples vs BBW/BHM couples vs BBW/slim guy couples vs BHM/slim lady couples you see. It's also worth noting that women tend to gain weight with childbearing, so just because you see a BBW with a man, doesn't mean he initially hooked up with a fat girl.
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Old 05-21-2016, 01:43 PM   #19
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There is also a difference between how fat ppl get treated online where more F/FA's are "out" vs how they get treated in day-to-day meatspace. I think maybe the idea of BBWs having all these admirers throwing themselves at them is mostly an internet phenomenon...
I definitely agree to a great extent. It's a lot easier to get online and behind the protection of anonymity "come out" as a chubby chaser. It's another thing entirely to follow through in the public arena. I know when I first starting dating fat women I was very nervous about who would see me. Even in places I felt reasonably certain I'd not bump into anyone I knew, I was nervous about what others would think. It wasn't like one day I decided, "I know what kind of women I REALLY like so that's what I'm actually going to pursue and public perception be damned!" Not even close. It was a process and little by little I reached a point where I was comfortable being seen in public with my fat partners.

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...next time you are at the mall count how many slim couples vs BBW/BHM couples vs BBW/slim guy couples vs BHM/slim lady couples you see. It's also worth noting that women tend to gain weight with childbearing, so just because you see a BBW with a man, doesn't mean he initially hooked up with a fat girl.
I honestly see it all. I am a people watcher and notice things about others, couples included. You literally see it all if you are looking. It's a good observation about women and weight gain after childbirth though. I know a lot of guys struggle with this. There is a group of BBWs who work in the building I work in, and I get along well with a couple of them well enough to have had some personal conversations. At one point I shared with one my preferences and she told her friends. About a week later one of them approached me and poured out her heart about how luck my wife was and how badly she wished her husband wouldn't constantly hint his displeasure with her weight. Especially (she said) since she wasn't really skinny to begin with.
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Old 05-22-2016, 05:57 AM   #20
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There is also a difference between how fat ppl get treated online where more F/FA's are "out" vs how they get treated in day-to-day meatspace. I think maybe the idea of BBWs having all these admirers throwing themselves at them is mostly an internet phenomenon, next time you are at the mall count how many slim couples vs BBW/BHM couples vs BBW/slim guy couples vs BHM/slim lady couples you see. It's also worth noting that women tend to gain weight with childbearing, so just because you see a BBW with a man, doesn't mean he initially hooked up with a fat girl.

I think there just aren't as many FAs/FFAs as I would like there to be, rather than how out FAs are. At Dims I am sure it sounds like we are obsessed with chasing fat people. But go to a mainstream website and almost all comments about fat people will be condemning them or sound like jokes. It is now much more common to see couple with a fat person than ever. Though probably because the population is becoming overweight. Most BBWs I have talked to in real life either have never met a FA or only met a few that they know of.

Kind of a funny observation, since I have started dating since my divorce, when I post pictures of the girl I am dating on social media, it's mostly BBWs who have been liking the pictures, of the people on my friends list. Some of them know I am a FA from outright asking me, others I think guess. I, in general, don't flirt with other women while in a relationship, but went I am present with a group of people I do go out of my way to be chatty with BBWs. That or they notice my ex-wife and girlfriend BBWs and the people I know guess or assume I am a FA.
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Old 05-22-2016, 07:01 AM   #21
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I definitely agree to a great extent. It's a lot easier to get online and behind the protection of anonymity "come out" as a chubby chaser. It's another thing entirely to follow through in the public arena. I know when I first starting dating fat women I was very nervous about who would see me. Even in places I felt reasonably certain I'd not bump into anyone I knew, I was nervous about what others would think. It wasn't like one day I decided, "I know what kind of women I REALLY like so that's what I'm actually going to pursue and public perception be damned!" Not even close. It was a process and little by little I reached a point where I was comfortable being seen in public with my fat partners.



I honestly see it all. I am a people watcher and notice things about others, couples included. You literally see it all if you are looking. It's a good observation about women and weight gain after childbirth though. I know a lot of guys struggle with this. There is a group of BBWs who work in the building I work in, and I get along well with a couple of them well enough to have had some personal conversations. At one point I shared with one my preferences and she told her friends. About a week later one of them approached me and poured out her heart about how luck my wife was and how badly she wished her husband wouldn't constantly hint his displeasure with her weight. Especially (she said) since she wasn't really skinny to begin with.
I like to think the posts on Dims are honest. Including about being out. I definitely agree. In high school, I buried my FAs feelings. I dated athletic girls because I was supposed to. I was constantly wishing I was dating BBWs. I was bullied as a kid, so I hated standing out in high school. But once I graduated, I wasn't around people I disliked anymore. I went to college and played guitar/sang in band, dressed like a rocker. I felt I stood out like a sore thumb anyways. As I was focusing on what I wanted, which included dating beautiful women(BBWs). So when I came out, it was only with my newer friends who where not as judgemental as people from my smaller home town. For me it was a boiling point where I felt I needed to get out. I can't pinpoint an exact day. I have a few times gotten on looks from people, but is rather rare especially as I have gotten older.

In high school I would try to predict which girls would eventually become BBWs. I was often correct. Now I wonder who would gain weight after childbirth birth. Not that weight gain is my thing but I noticed a lot more women with kids are BBWs, and I want kids. the dating pool seems a little larger if I include the plus-size women into the BBW category.

I always feel that people should not expect change from a person on a relationship. Doesn't matter if it's looks, weight or personality. You are with the wrong person and it's unfair to pressure someone to change.
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Old 05-22-2016, 03:10 PM   #22
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I think there are big geographic differences in how fat people are treated. Out here on the west coast people tend to keep their anti-fat biases to themselves in public situations. Fat people become invisible as opposed to openly bullied.

From my experiences living on the east coast and from talking to people from the midwest it seems to me that in the east (south of New England) and in the midwest haters are much more open about their biases.
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Old 05-24-2016, 11:21 AM   #23
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I think bigmac is onto something with the specific point that 'beauty standards' in general are significantly higher for men than they used to be. You only need to consider the contrast between what were considered hunky men on television and movies in the 1960s, compared to today. All that was needed back then, for Sean Connory or William Shatner or whoever, was to be reasonably fit. Nowadays the standard is Daniel Craig - a ridiculous level of sculpted muscularity that requires considerable effort and training. This rebounds against all men. But of course it would affect fat men more, because they're now further from the 'ideal' than they ever were before, historically.

But I really don't think that things have gotten much better for BBWs. Women in general remain massively more objectified than men, and 'thin-to-emaciated' remains very much the dominant norm. True, the internet provides some relief, but I doubt it's that much help in day-to-day life for most BBWs. (Of course, this is just a guess on my part, since I'm not a BBW.)

As for the topic of 'fat couples,' I'll admit that I do NOT generally assume that fat couples are both FAs. My assumption, rather, is that the partners were drawn together by mutual fat acceptance rather than fat admiration. 'Here is someone who shared my love of food, can relate to the challenges I face as a fat person, and who will not judge me because I'm fat.'

How about a couple where only one partner is fat? If they're young, then I generally assume that the thin one is an FA. (This is always sort of fascinating to me, for some reason). If they're long married, etc., then I don't necessarily assume that - especially if they first came together when both were thin - although you never know.
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Old 05-24-2016, 02:19 PM   #24
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I think over the last couple of years it seems that the trend is that women carrying more weight is definitely more acceptable than say 10-15 years ago. With that said there is also a certain point that a lot of us Fa's who love weight gain are kind of in denial.....when I see a pretty women she can be 200 Lbs., and much more like 300, 350 Lbs. and I consider them Beautiful because of their extra weight....where as others would think 200 Lbs. is pretty fat and they would only be accepting of them...even today as I feel the swing with people being more accepting of more weight on women they would still probably frown on a woman weighing over 250 lbs. and definitely 300 or 350 Lbs.. My blinders are up because I think Fat is beautiful and in most cases so much sexier with the roundness, softness and flowing curves then sharp bone structure and hip bones etc. A women that has such beauty and carries her Fat so beautifully is like a 12 on a scale of 10.

As far as men go....I am not to sure all I can say is I think age has a lot to do with the maturation of things. I know it seemed that my wife always liked me fit and cut up but many years later when I gained a bunch of weight and had fun Intentionally gaining ...I developed a pretty big Gut and she seemed completely turned on by her fatter husband....especially in the sack. No I know this was not during the dating stage which may have a much different result....but she sure didn't seem ashamed of her newly Fattened up husband ....in fact she constantly was feeding me fattening dinners and much bigger portions. I guess she was happy to be the good wife who fattened up her husband. Also, I kind of thought that while I was so much bigger that other women would not be interested but maybe it was me....but during this time so many women would strike up conversation with me as opposed to before. I think there are a good amount of women in a particular age range that actually prefer men who are bigger and that even have a pronounced belly on them......obviously hygiene, grooming and confidence have a lot to do with it.

my 2 cents with my extra 40+ Lbs.
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Old 05-24-2016, 11:56 PM   #25
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Generally I think preference is independent of one's own body type. I'm sure there are people out there who prefer BBW/BHM because they themselves fit that description same as there are fit people who will only date for people. This is by no means universal. In my years as an FA I've learned that a lot of BBWs prefer thin/lean/athletic guys like myself. and of course as a fit guy who prefers fat women I am nowhere close to being unique: plenty of fit people (men and women alike) prefer bigger partners.



To Bigmac's point, I think how you view that is a matter of perspective. My wife would shake her head and give an emphatic "not true" to those points. It is true that women value appearance (and I don't think anyone would ever try to deny that) a man's "worth" is not as closely tied to his appearance as is a woman's. In today's society, being a fat woman may just be the single most egregious and wide spread social faux pax one can commit. You don't see women driving around with "no fat guys" bumper stickers. Some of the world's strongest power lifters look like fat guys but they get the benefit of the doubt because they can DL 1000+ pounds raw. Or think about guys built like offensive linemen on a football team. No such benefit of the doubt exists for a fat woman. On a societal level she has less "value" because her appearance is is less pereferred.

Just an opinion, of course. People's opinions will vary based on experiences.
Are fit men just a lot more hesitant to admit their attraction to fat women and actually openly date them? I don't believe there are that many fit dudes who are attracted to big ladies and date them in public but maybe that's because of what I mentioned above.

Thin guys, though? It may be easier with them. Still, I wonder
I have a conventionally attractive, super fit step-brother, and my god can he rarely go even one conversation without the talk veering towards what he is doing exercise-wise, foods he is eating, what you "shouldn't" eat, etc.

I highly doubt he's a secret lover of fatties but it's sure an interesting concept.
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