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Old 08-29-2016, 11:12 PM   #26
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My $.02: The key word here in my mind is friendly. Friendly, no-pressure, actually reading the other person's cues. If they're not returning your glances, if they look like they want to be left alone -- leave em alone.

I was at a buffet recently a few times by myself and each time I happily ended up talking to other people sitting near me (in groups). (Buffets are diff from regular restaurants -- so much more getting up, etc. I'm not nearly as into talking to strangers at a regular restaurant, rather the opposite.)

HOWEVER, if a dude was really cheesing on me at a buffet / trying really obviously to pick me up and whatever...I'd dislike that and / or be wary and / or possibly run screaming. All about how you approach it. Treating someone like a human, no-pressure, curious about who they are vs. "picking up women."

p.s. Plus - make NO assumptions about her relationship with food / men / her size / sexuality based on what she's eating. Don't bring that up unless she does.

p.s.s. Depending on her size / mobility, she may not wanna talk "in line" (if she does want to flirt with you), as people keep mentioning here. Navigating that stuff as a SSBBW can take psychological/physical energy. Could only be if you happened to be sitting near each other or something.
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Old 09-08-2016, 04:52 PM   #27
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Red face As one who has done it....

I spend a lot of time at buffets. My experience is that there is ample opportunity to strike up a harmless conversation. Usually I will point to an item and ask "Have you tried these triple fried dumplings? Are they any good?" Most women will at least give you a polite response. Slightly more forward would be to make a recommendation "You must try the roast beef --it's extra juicy today!" Or if my plate is overloaded I might say "Ooops I better quit loading this plate up --it's going to cause an avalanche! It's just all so good I wanto to get it all now!"
I will do this to men too, just because I am a friendly guy.
I haven't gotten any phone numbers this way, but I probably could have.
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Old 09-10-2016, 04:27 AM   #28
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I've been considering doing it in the last few weeks. I haven't seen/met a bbw/ssbbw at the places I've been when I'm out. I've seen at least one at that buffet whenever I've gone there, as infrequent as that's been, and that's what gave me the idea to try to get one of their phone numbers there. I've wanted to go with a friend so that I could have company while I'm there but it's not easy to coordinate with him. Also, I've realized he can be a cockblocker and feel it best to limit the awkwardness. I might have to go it alone tonight. I'll be back with details!
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Old 09-14-2016, 10:43 AM   #29
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you can "pick up" anyone anywhere, as long as you don't come off as a creep and also respect that a person may wish to go about their business, may be married or dating someone and doesn't wish to interact with strangers more than a "Thanks, you too" and moving on.
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Old 09-18-2016, 12:25 AM   #30
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How about you writing a short little note on a small card (like one of those blank 3"x4" ones you'd find in a store by gift wrapping supplies) before you go to the buffet. Write something nice like "I just wanted to tell you that I think you are pretty. If you are single and would like to chat my phone number is..... or my e-mail is..... or my Facebook is.....
Hope to hear from you. and sign your first name.

Put the card in the envelope. Seal it. Try to just hand it to her in a casually non-creepy as possible way, so as not to embarass her if she is with others. A casual friendly smile would be nice, too.

You'll be prepared and not fumbling for words: won't have to interrupt: and you won't be putting her on the spot. The ball would then be in her court.

Just don't make up a bunch of cards and be passing them out to multiple women at the same buffet. The women will notice! And that way you won't have to remember which buffet beauty she was out of the many. One card per buffet visit!
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:12 AM   #31
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How about you writing a short little note on a small card (like one of those blank 3"x4" ones you'd find in a store by gift wrapping supplies) before you go to the buffet. Write something nice like "I just wanted to tell you that I think you are pretty. If you are single and would like to chat my phone number is..... or my e-mail is..... or my Facebook is.....
Hope to hear from you. and sign your first name.

Put the card in the envelope. Seal it. Try to just hand it to her in a casually non-creepy as possible way, so as not to embarass her if she is with others. A casual friendly smile would be nice, too.

You'll be prepared and not fumbling for words: won't have to interrupt: and you won't be putting her on the spot. The ball would then be in her court.

Just don't make up a bunch of cards and be passing them out to multiple women at the same buffet. The women will notice! And that way you won't have to remember which buffet beauty she was out of the many. One card per buffet visit!
Interesting idea, have you actually tried this? This could actually get it's own thread asking how people feel about this idea.
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Old 09-20-2016, 12:40 AM   #32
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Interesting idea, have you actually tried this? This could actually get it's own thread asking how people feel about this idea.
Na, I'm a female SSBBW. One time, though, when at a buffet, I kept noticing a nice looking man watching me eat, and I could tell it wasn't with disgust or simple curiosity. I was pretty sure he was admiring the view. Several times our eyes met, but I was with family. I wish he would have tried my idea of the note thing!
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Old 09-21-2016, 04:48 PM   #33
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Having a pre-printed note seems a bit creepy to me. I'd suggest writing a short spontaneous note on the back of a business card and handing it to her if the opportunity arises.

I've often thought of doing this but have never actually field tested this plan.
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Old 09-22-2016, 10:38 AM   #34
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Since my last post, I went to another Chinese buffet that was closer to home and cheaper. Unfortunately there weren't a lot of people there that night. There were no ssbbw there either probably because it was central downtown. The closest woman to my type was a plumper with 2 friends. They sat at the complete opposite end of the buffet from me. At the end of our time there, they caught up to me at the intersection. I noticed she had a nice bulging belly.
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Old 09-23-2016, 11:08 AM   #35
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I'm doing the simpler thing. I'm taking a pretty SSBBW to the Chinese buffet today.
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Old 09-23-2016, 04:43 PM   #36
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I'm doing the simpler thing. I'm taking a pretty SSBBW to the Chinese buffet today.
Trust a lawyer to find the loophole!
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Old 09-30-2016, 01:30 PM   #37
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Make sure you try before eating. I could barely pick myself up after the Chinese buffet today.
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Old 10-08-2016, 08:12 PM   #38
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My girl's torturing me -- she's at a buffet 850 miles away and texting me about it.
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Old 10-08-2016, 08:50 PM   #39
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That's unfair! LOL
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Old 10-09-2016, 05:35 AM   #40
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My girl's torturing me -- she's at a buffet 850 miles away and texting me about it.
Could have been worse. She could have been sending you pics of her plate(s) of food and pics of her eating that yummy food!
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Old 10-09-2016, 10:44 AM   #41
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Could have been worse. She could have been sending you pics of her plate(s) of food and pics of her eating that yummy food!
Might explain why she wants me to trade in my trusty old flip-phone for a smart phone with a decent sized screen.
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Old 10-10-2016, 04:20 PM   #42
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I'm just gonna slide on in here to say that that note would be a wonderful idea! Certainly wouldn't come off creepy to me~
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Old 10-10-2016, 10:29 PM   #43
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At the risk of being accused of bumping a post I made - I wanted to share a post I made here several years ago that is completely on topic (vs rewriting it). The short answer is - go ahead. Ask if they've tried the dumplings, tell them the roast beef is good, tell them they're lovely or you like their outfit or that's a lovely necklace they're wearing etc. As long as you're being sweet and polite, and respect their verbal and nonverbal cues about if they're interested or not. I wasn't available when I got approached at the local Chinese Buffet, but trust me when I say I was sending all my BBW friends there for months afterwards in hope they'd run into the same guy.

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Old 10-13-2016, 11:50 AM   #44
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Years ago at college I was in the dining hall grabbing a quick bite before my next class. I had just finished eating and had maybe 15 minutes 'till said class when a cute girl sat down opposite me. The nature of the dining hall was such that this was not especially weird, although I made a point of finding unoccupied tables when I came in as I was/am a loner. I ate alone my senior year of HS, too, even when a group of girls asked me to come sit at their table with them (I did the once, realized I had absolutely nothing to contribute to their conversations, and went back to my norm the next day).

So yeah, cute girl sits opposite me. Says hi, I say hi back. I'm in the middle of having an anxiety attack because this situation has only ever happened once before (high school, senior year, again) and the first time was not a romantic approach (friend of a girl I was interested in trying to help - ultimately failed but not her fault). Girl notices and points out that I've finished eating... and I tucked my tail and ran as best I could without actually running, practically sweating bullets.

Actually paused for several long seconds outside the hall debating whether or not to go back in, hating myself for my cowardice. I still dwell on it from time to time and vow never to do it again... but the chance hasn't even occurred since so... *shrugs*.

Obviously, I'm replying to this from the opposite side of the gender discussion, but, speaking for myself, I would love to be approached... pretty much anywhere. Because I don't have the stones to make an approach myself...
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Old 11-30-2016, 09:00 PM   #45
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Can you? Should you? How skillful are you at picking up strangers in other circumstances? How is your self-confidence? (Who uses a wingman? Sorry. Foreign concept to me personally).
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Old 12-14-2016, 02:12 PM   #46
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You know.... if some intrepid FFA were to come up to me at the Chinese buffet and be like; "You know, I noticed that's your 4th serving of dumplings..." I don't know whether I would be mortified beyond words or totally turned on.

For the record, I don't typically do buffets, I feel they a little unsanitary, but you know noticing my 3rd serving of sliders at 1 2 3 Burger Shot Beer would probably have the same effect.
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Old 12-14-2016, 06:34 PM   #47
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I tried picking up large lovely ladies at the Chinese buffet with varying degrees of success and failure. After my second hernia surgery I gave that up. I've had better success at the Supermarket.
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