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Old 03-25-2017, 04:57 PM   #1
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Cool Anyone else involved in BDSM?

I see a lot of information about fat fetishes, or fetishes having to do with fat, but not a lot about fat people with fetishes.

I'm involved in BDSM. I identify as a lifestyle slave and a masochist.

For those unfamiliar BDSM is bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism.

Personally, I'm involved publicly and I enjoy things like spanking, play piercings, fire play, caning, hair pulling, biting, and a ton of other things in play situations.


Is there anyone else involved? If so, where are your interests?
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Old 03-26-2017, 06:31 PM   #2
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I am! I met my boyfriend through Dims/being into BHMs and luckily enough it turned out we were both into BDSM. He's a dominant and Im a submissive, so it worked out great.

Im kind of a wussy sub so Im into lighter stuff. (Flogging, spanking, being tied up ect). Ive done some shibari and would like to try more.
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Old 03-26-2017, 06:40 PM   #3
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It's nice to know I'm not alone in that. It's tough to find lifestyle folks within the FA/BBW arena. And when you search "bbw" and "fetish" together, you rarely get fat people into BDSM or bondage.

I don't care for Fetlife's plus size groups much either.

Oh, and there are no "wussy" people who do this. Everyone likes different stuff at different levels, lol.
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Old 03-26-2017, 10:36 PM   #4
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Well, I forced a gal to listen to Nickleback once.
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Old 03-28-2017, 12:14 AM   #5
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Well, I forced a gal to listen to Nickleback once.
That is not bdsm: that is just torture.



That being chuckled, I too am a bdsm lover and practitioner.
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Old 04-25-2017, 11:46 AM   #6
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I am sort of a bdsm wannabe. I've had a kinky orientation and a submissive mindset throughout my life but have rarely been able to practice these things.
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Old 04-25-2017, 12:15 PM   #7
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I don't know that I could go through life not "practicing" I hope you find an outlet for your inclinations at some point.
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Old 04-25-2017, 12:20 PM   #8
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I don't know that I could go through life not "practicing" I hope you find an outlet for your inclinations at some point.
Thanks. There are always outlets even if there may not be ideal situation to practice with a partner.

And my current relationship is actually still pretty close. We do have a sort of agreement on a power exchange even though there aren't any disciplining or punishments involved.
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Old 05-16-2017, 11:45 AM   #9
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This past Saturday at our book and literature club, the subject of BDSM came up again. One of the younger members - she's a recent Masters of Education recipient - asked why are there so many novellas on Amazon with BDSM themes, where the Dominant is a rich man.

We told her: It's because writers are trying to attach themselves to the 50 Shades success. A few gave her some authors she should read, ones who know the lifestyle.

There are far too many frustrated housewives out there who think sexual abuse is acceptable in the lifestyle because of EL James
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Old 05-17-2017, 07:02 PM   #10
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First off whats a nickleback? Change for a dime?
Torture yes it would be.
I have never understood the whole BDSM thing.It all seems so sorted and gross/brutal.
Why would one want to be slapped and beaten and tied up? I have a phobia about being restrained so if someone tried to tie me up it would be the last thing they do.LOL.
Anyway I do find it interesting as to why people are into it. What is it about it you like?
I have one GF who is into spanking but its more a tease thing I guess.
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Old 05-18-2017, 02:53 AM   #11
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I'm a playful dominant, but not active at this point in my life. No play partner and just not well enough right now. And almost every potential play partner I meet just wants casual fat sex or a full time lifestyle slave arrangement.

I like squashing, wrestling, tickling, playful teasing, light spanking and other minor physical pain inflicting, restraining someone and lightly tormenting them like with ice or bristles of a boar bristle hairbrush, having them do frustrating tasks, using them as furniture, etc... I'm more into fucking with someone than inflicting intense pain or humiliation. I enjoy other fetishes that aren't related to BDSM too. But again, more playful and light ones.
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Old 05-18-2017, 03:41 AM   #12
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Not gonna pretend to respect and tolerate punishers and torturers. Because that what this dirtyness is. Grotesque.

Profoundly wrong to associate pain with pleasure. What sort of nightmarish treatment did such people suffer as children to cause them to substitute cruelty, real or simulated, for love as adults?

How disrespectful. Please just masturbate and stop trying to share your abusive disease. That somebody fucked you up so bad is no reason to replay such sordidness with others.

Make the victim cycle stop with YOU.
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:16 AM   #13
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@ Tracy: you sound amazing! I've had partners who were dominant but a fun playful type of dominant. In fact, that's pretty close to the way my wife is.

@ Finallyfat: I have to say, it's a little disappointing to see such a judgmental post. If it's consensual then what's the harm? I've had partners literally relieve themselves on me. No harm done: I consented to it. BDSM may not be your thing, but that doesn't make it inherently bad. To each his/her own. Keep in mind, there are a lot of people who consider intentionally gaining weight to be grotesque. I encourage you to show a little more respect for others and their preferences.
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Old 05-18-2017, 04:55 PM   #14
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@ finallyfat, for a lot of people into receiving pain, it's all about the endorphins and the adrenaline. It's the same reason why I enjoy exercising so much. It doesn't feel good until the endorphin rush hits, but after that it's pure lingering bliss. You know the floaty kind of "all is right and good in the world" euphoric feeling after a really good orgasm? Endorphins and adrenaline do that. Some of us are able to experience it through intense exercise, others through pain. For some people it is powerful enough to be transcendental.

There are people who are mentally re-living abuse through BDSM, and I don't know enough about that kind of psychology to say whether it's not a good idea or not. Although in some cases it might be theraputic, because you're re-living a trauma in a controlled way with a trusted partner.

But for most, it's about the endorphins and adrenaline. There is a pleasure payoff. Think of BDSM as sometimes when you cross the wires, you get a spark.
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Old 05-19-2017, 10:59 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by finallyfat View Post
Not gonna pretend to respect and tolerate punishers and torturers. Because that what this dirtyness is. Grotesque.

Profoundly wrong to associate pain with pleasure. What sort of nightmarish treatment did such people suffer as children to cause them to substitute cruelty, real or simulated, for love as adults?

How disrespectful. Please just masturbate and stop trying to share your abusive disease. That somebody fucked you up so bad is no reason to replay such sordidness with others.

Make the victim cycle stop with YOU.
You appear to not grasp the concept of consent. When proper BDSM play is done, it's all approved by both/all parties involved. There's something called a "BDSM Checklist" which the submissive fills out and the Dominant MUST follow at all times. And the submissive holds the power, able to end play at any time they want.

In BDSM, No means NO! There are NO exceptions. 50 Shades has twisted what it really is. 50 Shades is actual sexual abuse.

If a submissive or bottom wants pain, so be it. It's not for us to judge.
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Old 05-19-2017, 12:35 PM   #16
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Not saying there aren't those who like pain, cruelty, slavery, degradation & humiliation. I am saying such behavior is unhealthy. Any attempt to normalize these regressive and anti-social behaviors is wrong.

Whoever performs these acts upon another should be shunned as undesireables. Like bullies, racists and haters.

Do not tolerate sadists- condemn them. They have no place above ground.
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Old 05-19-2017, 12:53 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by finallyfat View Post
Not saying there aren't those who like pain, cruelty, slavery, degradation & humiliation. I am saying such behavior is unhealthy. Any attempt to normalize these regressive and anti-social behaviors is wrong.

Whoever performs these acts upon another should be shunned as undesireables. Like bullies, racists and haters.

Do not tolerate sadists- condemn them. They have no place above ground.

Again, why are you judging? It's not for you, move on. Are you being FORCED to watch, to participate? Are you able to walk away, able to not read this subgenre of literature? Yes, yes you are.

Racism is akin to this "behavior"? Um, as someone who's subjected to racism in sports constantly, you're off, way off. It is NOT.
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Old 05-19-2017, 01:35 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by finallyfat View Post
Not saying there aren't those who like pain, cruelty, slavery, degradation & humiliation. I am saying such behavior is unhealthy. Any attempt to normalize these regressive and anti-social behaviors is wrong.

Whoever performs these acts upon another should be shunned as undesireables. Like bullies, racists and haters.

Do not tolerate sadists- condemn them. They have no place above ground.
A LOT of people out there feel this way about intentional weight gain. What's your position on that?
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Old 05-19-2017, 04:34 PM   #19
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Again, why are you judging? It's not for you, move on. Are you being FORCED to watch, to participate? Are you able to walk away, able to not read this subgenre of literature? Yes, yes you are.

Racism is akin to this "behavior"? Um, as someone who's subjected to racism in sports constantly, you're off, way off. It is NOT.
No, you are deluded.

I judge because peer pressure works. They should be embarrassed publicly by their inhuman behavior. Shame is powerful.

Inflicting pain, violence, torture & cruelty on others is surely worse than the soft bigotry of racism.

Racism can be ignored. Scars and ligatures can't.

And stop the caps. Grow up.
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Old 05-19-2017, 04:38 PM   #20
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A LOT of people out there feel this way about intentional weight gain. What's your position on that?
No equivalence.

Why bother to argue with someone who admits to having been defecated on?

Would you tell your parents that? Your kids? Your co-workers or boss? No, you'd be ashamed and you should be.
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Old 05-19-2017, 06:22 PM   #21
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No equivalence.
How convenient. So you'll basically make exceptions based on how you personally value your thing vs someone else's. In other words you seem to lack the capacity to see how something is to one person what something else is to you.

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Why bother to argue with someone who admits to having been defecated on?

Would you tell your parents that? Your kids? Your co-workers or boss? No, you'd be ashamed and you should be.
Actually I have to some extent. I don't usually talk sexual exploits with coworkers (definitely not with parents or kids) but I have never denied and even openly admitted to my deviant side with those few coworkers/friends who are close enough with me to have these sorts of conversations.

So your assumptions about me are flawed. Maybe you can take a stab at proving flawed my assumption about you being unable to respect something you don't understand?
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Old 05-19-2017, 06:28 PM   #22
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Finallyfat, if you arent willing to read up on the BDSM subculture and are going to criticize happilymarried for doing other kinky things at home, nothing will change your mind. You may not agree, but I believe that what happens between two consenting adults is none of my business. Someone got peed on? Not my thing, but I wont tell them not to engage. Its not my business to place moral judgement on others with fetishes when I have kinks of my own.

Recent studies have shown those who engage in BDSM actually have a better understanding of boundaries and consent (not to toot our own horns).

Article linked below: https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/topic/bdsm-consent

Rodoji and happilymarried have made an excellent point that your current attitude and criticisms are the same way others outside of Dims regard preferences for fat lovers, as well as feederism and gaining. I cant change anyones mind. Furthermore, I dont know if you've had a bad experience with BDSM and are coming from a place of pain and hurt (not the good kind). Any fetish can go south with an uncaring or abusive partner (Im sure sadly there are BHM/BBWs/feedees ect who have sadly had bad experiences).

With any fetish, mutual respect and communication are key. (Djudex and I have many a conversation about BHM/FFA and BDSM stuff) Respect your partners do's and donts, provide snacks and cuddles after playtime and have fun
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Old 05-19-2017, 10:21 PM   #23
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No, you are deluded.

I judge because peer pressure works. They should be embarrassed publicly by their inhuman behavior. Shame is powerful.

Inflicting pain, violence, torture & cruelty on others is surely worse than the soft bigotry of racism.

Racism can be ignored. Scars and ligatures can't.

And stop the caps. Grow up.
Peer pressure works only if you fall for it. I am not one who follows. I lead, I am my own person.

As someone with a moniker of finallyfat, you should be cognizant of peer pressured humiliation . Society today deems fat as repulsive and undesirable . Are we going to take you in public and shame you for your choice? No.

I feel you've had been taught incorrectly on BDSM. Though there are people who do like defication/scat, it's not essential , nor is pain. Read, educate yourself.
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Old 05-20-2017, 03:33 AM   #24
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...
Actually I have to some extent. I don't usually talk sexual exploits with coworkers (definitely not with parents or kids) but I have never denied and even openly admitted to my deviant side with those few coworkers/friends who are close enough with me to have these sorts of conversations.
...
Told them you get pooped on for fun? Imagine what they say about you once you've left the room.
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Old 05-20-2017, 03:52 AM   #25
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...
I feel you've had been taught incorrectly on BDSM. Though there are people who do like defication/scat, it's not essential , nor is pain. Read, educate yourself.
That deviant behavior is as much "play" for the captive governed one as abortion is "choice" for the baby.

You do something for which dressing like, and acting like, a Nazi is the norm.

Study Nazi sex for enlightenment? Bully someone until I come?

Masturbate in private. For the sake of the others.
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