You may be a fat boy if...

[hommecreux]

You may be a fat boy if it takes more energy to keep your fat from bouncing while you walk, than it does to keep you moving forward.

[Jerry Thomas]

The manager at the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet calls in additional staff when you waddle through the door.

[hommecreux]

Originally Posted by Jerry Thomas

The manager at the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet calls in additional staff when you waddle through the door.

YOU PAY FOR WAN, YOU EAT FOR FOR! YOU MUS LEVE!!!!!
Cracking me up over here.

[Jerry Thomas]

Your girlfriend is jealous because your breasts are bigger than hers.

[hommecreux]

Originally Posted by Jerry Thomas

Your girlfriend is jealous because your breasts are bigger than hers.

I'm not sure if I should feel ashamed, or proud and sexy.... either way I'm crackin the fuck up again. haha!!!

[loopytheone]

Originally Posted by Jerry Thomas

Your girlfriend is jealous because your breasts are bigger than hers.

I like SSBHM but I can't say I've ever had that issue myself.

[hommecreux]

Originally Posted by loopytheone

I like SSBHM but I can't say I've ever had that issue myself.

That's a good problem to have?

[Jerry Thomas]

I have a whole list of these "You may be a fat boy if . . ." things, but I'm not sure if I dare to post some of them.

[agouderia]

Originally Posted by Jerry Thomas

I have a whole list of these "You may be a fat boy if . . ." things, but I'm not sure if I dare to post some of them.

This actually sounds really interesting...

[Jerry Thomas]

Here are a few more. I didn't read through the whole thread, so apologies if any are repeats.

You may be a fat boy if . . .

Your mother-in-law steers you away from her antique furniture when you visit.

You haven't seen your toes (or whatever) in 14 years.

You could be a sumo wrestler if you lost 100 pounds or so.

You always have the seat all to yourself when you ride the bus.

The airlines have you tagged in their computer as a "customer of size."

Teenage girls take your photo so they can post it on Facebook.

Friends wonder how you and your girlfriend "do it."

You have to wear surgical scrubs even though you don't work in a hospital.

Well-meaning strangers remove food from your cart at the supermarket.

Children hide behind you when they play hide-and-seek.

You always get caught in the middle of the crosswalk when the light changes.

You have cleavage when you put your hands together.

You wear a t-shirt when you go swimming at the beach.

You need help putting on your shoes and socks.

Your health insurance company sends you unsolicited material about bariatric surgery.

Little kids point at you at the beach and say, "Look mommy, he's got boobies just like yours!"

You're in big trouble if you drop something on the floor.

People spread their arms and puff out their cheeks when they see you.

Your stretch marks have stretch marks.

[Tad]

When you start exercising more, you proactively start eating more to make sure you don't get too hungry.

[fat hiker]

When your hands are full leaving the mall, you can use your gut to open the door for you...

[LarryTheNoodleGuy]

When you walk to the kitchen and stop at the fridge - but your fat hasn't gotten the message yet and it keeps moving.

When cats gather on your abdomen when you're on your back.

When there is extra food and people naturally assume you're the one who will eat it or take it home. And they're right!

When friendly women approach you at malls wearing buttons saying "Lose Weight! Ask Me How!"

When you walk into a weight-loss center and get rushed.

When the lower part of your belly forms a lil upside-down heart.

When your GF calls you her sweet bear. (Nice way of saying you're fat!)

[hommecreux]

You might be a fat boy if....
your belly gets in the way of typing on a keyboard.
you graze both nipples whenever you reach across your body.
scratching a fat roll involves lifting up other rolls to get at the itchy part.
doctors have to put you on the "cattle" size scale that accepts wheelchairs just to weigh your fat ass. lol
people are amazed that you fit in a full size sedan, and getting out of it is like watching clowns getting out of a clown car....

[fat hiker]

Originally Posted by hommecreux

You might be a fat boy if....
your belly gets in the way of typing on a keyboard.

We had an IT guy in the office the other day, dealing with a malfunctioning PC, who was approaching this state.

I thought of the FFAs here, when he got down on his knees under a desk to check whether a cable was plugged in.

[hommecreux]

Originally Posted by fat hiker

We had an IT guy in the office the other day, dealing with a malfunctioning PC, who was approaching this state.

I thought of the FFAs here, when he got down on his knees under a desk to check whether a cable was plugged in.

Haha... well that's just about me at this point. Just invested in a 500lb rated office chair that reclines so I can lean back and put the keyboard on my belly when I get tired of keeping perfect posture.
Fortunately I have a big desk so I keep the desktop on my desk to avoid having to crawl around lol.

[Jerry Thomas]

You might be a fat boy if . . .

You have to use deodorant on the fold under your belly roll to keep from getting a skin irritation. (Not making this up! )

Worse: You have to ask someone else to do it for you because you can't reach under there.

[LarryTheNoodleGuy]

You're riding with a partner on an airplane at night, you bend down looking for something under the seat in front of you, your t-shirt slides up in the back, and you feel a hand slowly running itself over your love handle, then gently squeezing. You freeze as the hand mashes, pulls and then wiggles the handle from the left to the right.

[fat hiker]

Originally Posted by LarryTheNoodleGuy

You're riding with a partner on an airplane at night, you bend down looking for something under the seat in front of you,

and you can't make this move because your gut and chest get in the way on the tiny airplane seats, so your partner has to retrieve whatever you've dropped.