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Old 05-13-2017, 05:01 PM   #51
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Then remembered I'd be passing a Harvey's (fast food burger chain) and they have quite good salads, decided a salad would actually be OK.

Get inside and see the sign saying that right now you can get two burger combos for $9.99, whereas one combo is $7.99. So despite having been thinking about how full I was not long before I had a fry, two burgers (their burgers are about the size of a whopper), two soft-drinks .... and half a salad (I ended up saving the other half for my wife), and it all went down just fine

For sure made me feel delightfully naughty.[/QUOTE]

Has anyone ever been seriously tempted to get the family combos fast food chains offer for themselves..and actually eaten them?
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Old 08-16-2017, 07:46 PM   #52
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Maybe he has a simulation model on his favorite Dims members and every time they report their consumption he plugs in an estimated calorie count and and hit's "refresh" on the data and it spits out an updated image of you!

Does anyone here like Costco cheesecake? My wife can't resist. Maybe I'll pick one up tomorrow...
Keep telling yourself you're "not a feeder".
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Old 08-19-2017, 05:12 AM   #53
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Keep telling yourself you're "not a feeder".
Eh...not really. I like the idea of my wife gaining weight and sometimes I do enjoy watching her eat. It can be erotic. If she ever asked me to actually feed her I'd do it. Feeding itself though for the most part doesn't do anything for me. It doesn't jump out as something that I have a strong desire to do and it's not something she isn't into and that I have strong desire for her to chance her mind on it.

Not sure if we have a formal definition of "feeder" around here but I doubt I'd meet admission requirements if we did.
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:27 AM   #54
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Eh...not really. I like the idea of my wife gaining weight and sometimes I do enjoy watching her eat. It can be erotic. If she ever asked me to actually feed her I'd do it. Feeding itself though for the most part doesn't do anything for me. It doesn't jump out as something that I have a strong desire to do and it's not something she isn't into and that I have strong desire for her to chance her mind on it.

Not sure if we have a formal definition of "feeder" around here but I doubt I'd meet admission requirements if we did.
Maybe somewhat of an "encourager" then? I think some people identify more with that than actually literally feeding someone but still call themselves "feeders".
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Old 08-19-2017, 11:45 AM   #55
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Maybe somewhat of an "encourager" then? I think some people identify more with that than actually literally feeding someone but still call themselves "feeders".
Definitely this. I want my wife to be the person she wants to be. When she was losing weight I encouraged her and supported her. As she's gained it all back and continues to gain, while I don't actively encourage her to gain, I support her and love what I'm seeing. If she told he she wanted to gain more weight and wanted verbal support from me I'd do it.

So in that regard "encourager" is just me trying to be a good husband. If she hit the breaks on gaining today and started losing again I'd encourage her. If she's not going to do that but won't vocally embrace gaining, I'll quietly encourage her. If she goes all in so will I. Does that make sense?
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Old 08-19-2017, 11:58 AM   #56
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^ I understand what you are saying and would say you are "supportive" of your wife's choices/decisions but what I was talking about was more of a subcategory of feederism. Someone who encourages another to eat and/or gain but doesn't necessarily do it vocally and/or obviously.
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Old 08-19-2017, 12:23 PM   #57
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^ I understand what you are saying and would say you are "supportive" of your wife's choices/decisions but what I was talking about was more of a subcategory of feederism. Someone who encourages another to eat and/or gain but doesn't necessarily do it vocally and/or obviously.
I see what you're saying. Honestly I just follow her lead. If she's been eating more than usual/gaining weight and not making an effort to stem that tide, I'll "support" by coming home with things I've seen her eating. So in that sense I guess one can say I'm a passive feeder. Again though, I don't have a strong desire for feeding as an end. I do think it's hot watching her have her way with half a dozen donuts but it's more knowing and loving her as a plus size woman as whole than the physical act of actually eating.
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Old 08-26-2017, 12:17 PM   #58
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oops, wrong thread
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Old 08-26-2017, 02:04 PM   #59
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Like so many posts, I am agreeing with HM.

If you are in a caring relationship with a fat partner, but are not slapping food out of their hand, you probably qualify for “supportive” or “encourager.” Depending on how you want to look at it. If my girlfriend gains weight, the FA in me is like awesome! But I don’t really fantasize about it.

Intentional weight gain is not really my thing. I don’t find eating to be erotic. It can be made erotic by actions, moaning or acting like it’s a turn on. But then it’s not really the eating that’s the turn on then. A lot of the side fetishes related to fat can be fun.

I could date a gainer, but the turn on for me would be getting the gainer turned on. I do find the confidence a huge turn on. I would assume if you want to gain weight you like how it looks. My girlfriend doing things in public that draw attention to her being fat, and sexy as hell, gives me a rush. For example, at a restaurant we were told we could sit at any table. We walked over to one where the chairs had arms. She looked around and saw a table that had chairs without arms. Then at a very audible volume she said, “Let’s go to that table, my ass is to big for these chairs.” Two table with people at them turned to look. Of course I smiled, I had to put my hand on her butt to escort her over.
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Old 08-27-2017, 04:36 AM   #60
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Like so many posts, I am agreeing with HM.

If you are in a caring relationship with a fat partner, but are not slapping food out of their hand, you probably qualify for “supportive” or “encourager.” Depending on how you want to look at it. If my girlfriend gains weight, the FA in me is like awesome! But I don’t really fantasize about it.

Intentional weight gain is not really my thing. I don’t find eating to be erotic. It can be made erotic by actions, moaning or acting like it’s a turn on. But then it’s not really the eating that’s the turn on then. A lot of the side fetishes related to fat can be fun.

I could date a gainer, but the turn on for me would be getting the gainer turned on. I do find the confidence a huge turn on. I would assume if you want to gain weight you like how it looks. My girlfriend doing things in public that draw attention to her being fat, and sexy as hell, gives me a rush. For example, at a restaurant we were told we could sit at any table. We walked over to one where the chairs had arms. She looked around and saw a table that had chairs without arms. Then at a very audible volume she said, “Let’s go to that table, my ass is to big for these chairs.” Two table with people at them turned to look. Of course I smiled, I had to put my hand on her butt to escort her over.
Yeah, people are going to start thinking we're the same guy using different accounts! As usual you have described something nicely where I have failed to do so.

Now your girlfriend sounds awesome and I love it when a plus size woman is confident enough to not only embrace but openly flaunt herself. I think my wife is slowly, tentatively reaching the "acceptance" of herself. Next will come embracing and we'll see, maybe she'll reach the flaunting phase too!

Your restaurant story reminded me of an incident a few months ago where we were eating on the patio of a restaurant and when she stood up her butt was so big she took the chair with her. I had to discreetly push down on the chair while she stood up a second time. A pair of women nearby noticed. They both looked pretty in shape and a bit on the judgy side and smirked at my wife's predicament. Fortunately she didn't notice them.
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Old 08-27-2017, 08:27 AM   #61
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The body positivity isn’t an everyday thing. Like everyone, you don’t always feel sexy.

It can be a grey area for how she feels about it too. In my above post, she new what she said was very likely to draw attention. So it was playful, and some sort of response could be expected from people near by.

In your thread about contrasting couples I mentioned when she and I went to a brewery, and a BBW was giving me disapproving looks for no reason. So I started pushing PDA in her face as a response. After we left the brewery I told my girlfriend what had happened. She was upset and apologized to me. I quickly told her that she shouldn’t, and that it was that girls problem not ours. My girlfriend completely agreed with me then.

Your wife’s chair issue, is also something that my gf keeps in mind when she stands up from armed chairs. There is a part of me that see how tight the chair is and thinks HOT! But then the other part of me realizes that it’s not comfortable, less hot. As that was an accident, I wouldn’t have said anything about the on lookers either. I do like to pair mild PDA immediately following when accidents like that. I think it helps take away some of the embarrassment.
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Old 08-29-2017, 12:08 PM   #62
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Hmmm, it sounds a bit like that river in Egypt to me.

To clarify, when I was talking about being supportive, I meant in general. Whether it's changing hair color, losing weight, etc. Every day life things.

Encourager, I meant solely about feederism. Someone who gets pleasure from helping another get fat/more fat. I don't think they necessarily "get off" on food/eating per se, more of what the eating and food will accomplish. They can choose to be open about it to the world, their partner, etc (which I think is awesome) but they can also choose to hide it in which case I don't know if "helping" would be the right word, so maybe someone who hides it would just be a closet feeder?

Perhaps some open feeders (or gainers, feedees) can add something, shed some light and/or correct me if they choose or feel I have said anything in error.

I personally don't have a problem with feederism. In fact, I am very intrigued by it and have dabbled in *self* gaining/feeding/stuffing a bit (yes, all by my lonesome)

I might be opening a can of worms and honestly, I hope to. I think it gets a bad rap but there are actual good honest people who are open to it, like and enjoy it.
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Old 08-29-2017, 01:47 PM   #63
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I feel that this is kind of ‘you know it when you experience it’ kind of things. It is kind of hard to describe in detail or draw the line, but here is a metaphor I use (some of you will have seen me bring this one up before, sorry for the repetition).

Consider your partner a sailboat. Encouragement is a wind blowing in a particular direction (in this case: Fatland). Sailboats can cut across a wind, even sail against a wind with more work, but it is easiest and fastest to go with the wind, and if they do nothing at all they’ll drift in the direction the wind is blowing. You provide the wind, but they decide where they are going all the same.

To me feeding is more like taking control of the tiller and steering towards Fatland; that could be entirely consensual and appreciated or it could be by coercion or it could be a back and forth battle of wills or your partner could even be telling you exactly how to steer things. (In some cases it could also involve powering up an engine to get the boat there faster, in the case of more extreme feeding measures). Now, it could be kept pointed there continually, or maybe you just dabble, both getting a thrill in occasionally pointing things there briefly then steering away again -- there are all sorts of variations – but the essential difference is taking direct measures to steer things there, rather than setting an environment in which your partner chooses how to steer.

You can argue about which is more ethical – certainly my take on encouragement is probably easier to do in a hidden way, so could be viewed as sneakier, and it may also be almost unavoidable when one partner is an FA (much like the encouragement towards appreciating a sports team if married to a super-fan, or encouragement to be outdoorsy if married to someone who lives for hiking and camping, etc).
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Old 08-29-2017, 03:42 PM   #64
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IMO, it’s kind of a blurry line, unless feederism is what you normally/mostly focus on. Or at least is not summed up well in a sentence or two.

Fat9276, I don’t know that I can change your mind about it being denial. I wouldn’t say I was a feeder any more a than any of the many other fat-porn related categories. The only thing that is consistent for me is a fat woman. It’s not meant as a judgment on feederism or any fetish. It is my understanding feeders are predominately interested in feeding and weight gain.

When dating I look for a fat partner because I want a fat partner. I am a firm believer, date someone for who they are, not who you want them to be. Before I came out, 20 or 21, I dated girls on the cross-country/swimming/track girls. I did have fantasies about these women gaining, because I was with the wrong partner, and I wouldn’t have to come out of the closet if they just gained weight. I wanted to be with fat women, but wasn’t.

Women giving into their cravings, is very hot. If my girlfriend told me she was in the mood from cheese cake. Got one, and ate half of it, and told me about it. Yes it’s arousing, but I am not imagining where I can measure it on her ass.

So if you wanted an extreme possible example: Say I was single. I just met the most interesting woman in the world, who so happens to adore me. She perfectly fits every category of what I want in a partner. However she is less than 200lbs, truth be told I don’t really know where my cut off is. So if I was going to start a relationship with her, she would be aware that I prefer partners that north of 250 lbs (guessing, I don’t go around asking women their weights). This would be a situation where I would qualify as a feeder, and would be vocal about it. I know this varies by FA, but I don’t find thin women attractive.

However, I see this scenario being equal to this: Non-FA meets SSBBW. “You are the perfect girl, to bad you are fat” She then should proceed in slapping him in the face. Granted there is no sexualization in this guy wishing this woman was thin.

Could I date a gainer/feedee? The answer is yes. I am assuming, this person thinks they are attractive and are becoming more attractive as they gain. I love confidence in a woman. If my partner was a feedee, I would act the part for her, not like it would be a huge stretch. I would be worried about what her desired end game would be. I don’t really have an ideal size, but more of an acceptable range. But I would be concerned about possible health consequences of continued gaining. I don’t know how a feedee would feel about reaching a point when they realize they need to stop gaining. I would feel guilty if my partner started having quality of life issues. I don’t know if most feedees are satisfied just gaining some weight. Maybe I haven’t explored it, but I don’t feel I am missing out.
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Old 08-29-2017, 07:39 PM   #65
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@fat9276, I'm definitely not going to argue because despite never considering myself a feeder or actively pursuing that, I have been excited lately at my wife's weight gain. There's probably enough overlap of interests there to make it unimportant to insist there's a distinction.

Even though I don't actually feed her I've enjoyed her recent abandonment of any effort to keep weight off and enjoy eating what she wants to eat and how much. Obviously weight gain has been a natural byproduct. While this is happening I've been more assertive in how I praise her body. That's unrelated to the weight gain itself and more a product of learning a few things about how she wants to receive affection. Still the timing has coincided closely with some recent weight gain and even though I know she hasn't fully embraced herself she seems to be responding positively.
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