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Old 11-28-2017, 01:00 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by agouderia View Post
It is the element of getting off on and thus exploiting the vulnerability and insecurity caused by a lifetime of weight shaming.

Because deriving pleasure from someone else's suffering is not a positive trait - and a bad foundation for a relationship. Not least because it skewes the balance within the relationship: The partner feasting on the other's weakness will always have the upper hand, hold more power of the vulnerable other and smother the chance of overcoming the weakness.
I interpreted the idea of 'vulnerability' quite differently in the previous post. I took it to mean a person who easily gains weight, as in, is vulnerable to weight gain rather than being vulnerable as a person because of past experiences.

I derive pleasure from somebody being 'vulnerable' to weight gain; I like watching people gain weight. But I definitely don't get pleasure from a person feeling vulnerable/insecure. I suppose that works fine for me because I'm only interested in relationships with people that don't see gaining weight as a weakness.

On another tangent, the thoughts about whether or not people are more likely to enjoy being fat depending on their weight as a child is an interesting one. Thinking of the overweight people I know closely, the trend seems to be the opposite of the one most people are describing. Most of the people I know who grew up fat have ended up 'owning' it and being unashamed and confident, whereas the ones who were skinny as kids are constantly trying to go on crash diets to get back to where they were. I think it really does depend on the individual person more than anything.
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Old 11-30-2017, 03:03 AM   #27
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I am not 100% sure it is so much that they have gone from thin to fat for me as much as the commitment to the lifestyle that it takes for somebody to knowing gain weight and truly embrace being fat.
Do you know if there's a further commitment I can make that will help me get past the 280 mark I've been stuck at for most of my adult life?

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So many times, there is a self-loathing mentality when it comes to bbws and bhms and to be quite frank, it can be very offputting for an FA that admires those qualities. Especially when you consider that most FA's struggled with admitting what they found attractive to begin with.
These two things are very closely-connected because the first encourages the second. This is also why I say that the eradication of fat prejudice won't solve the problems of FAs. We are detested by fat women who we do not, and cannot, detest back.

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In a nutshell the explanation why many or most BBWs don't like FAs, especially not the born fatties who have had to deal with the issue their entire lives.

Because who would want a partner who gets off on something that causes you a lot of grief? Expecting you to suppress your true feelings and be upbeat about it?
I want a confidant, not just a body. If she doesn't really feel passionately delighted by fatness, there's no room to connect. That said, there is a special kind of irony to this, that a person who is already bound to have such a hard time finding someone will voluntarily seclude themselves with an attitude that says, essentially, "I can't love myself, so I don't want anyone else to either."
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Old 11-30-2017, 07:48 AM   #28
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I prefer people who are just naturally big. I am actually really into weight gain, but thin people gaining weight does nothing for me whatsoever. I just like naturally big people getting bigger as they come to accept themselves, heh.
This is exactly how I feel.
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Old 11-30-2017, 08:50 AM   #29
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I read several of the posts and it made me wonder where or how I fit in. I've been kind of in a range throughout my life and probably equate gaining and being big to feeling happier too. I've never been really skinny, but unless I feel big, it just didn't feel right. Gaining is exciting to me, and I also like seeing other people gain, as long as they are happy about it.

I wonder if being big or gaining has acceptable limits for all of us? I still want to get bigger. Do others feel this way too?
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Old 11-30-2017, 02:03 PM   #30
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"Hybrid fatso."
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Old 11-30-2017, 03:01 PM   #31
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Yup, it's entirely possible to be naturally physically inclined towards weight gain and also enjoy being fat and maintaining a higher weight/continuing to gain deliberately.
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Old 12-01-2017, 08:42 AM   #32
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I read several of the posts and it made me wonder where or how I fit in. I've been kind of in a range throughout my life and probably equate gaining and being big to feeling happier too. I've never been really skinny, but unless I feel big, it just didn't feel right. Gaining is exciting to me, and I also like seeing other people gain, as long as they are happy about it.

I wonder if being big or gaining has acceptable limits for all of us? I still want to get bigger. Do others feel this way too?
It's milestones that do it for me. I remember my eyes popping when I got on a scale and saw "191." Then I crossed the threshold to 200 and THAT was like "omg fat" for me. Then 209.

I would keep saying, "Ok, that's big enough." Then 221 and "HFS!!"

Each milestone was both horrifying and exciting...now I have the thought, "Ok, if I ever get to 240, I'll stop." But that's what I said at 191.
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Old 12-01-2017, 09:03 AM   #33
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It's milestones that do it for me. I remember my eyes popping when I got on a scale and saw "191." Then I crossed the threshold to 200 and THAT was like "omg fat" for me. Then 209.

I would keep saying, "Ok, that's big enough." Then 221 and "HFS!!"

Each milestone was both horrifying and exciting...now I have the thought, "Ok, if I ever get to 240, I'll stop." But that's what I said at 191.
It can be addictive
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Old 12-01-2017, 11:45 AM   #34
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It can be addictive
Yes, and part of me goes "I'd like to know what it feels like to be (this much) and then I'll just lose it." Only the "losing" thing never seems to happen!
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Old 12-01-2017, 11:48 AM   #35
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Yes, and part of me goes "I'd like to know what it feels like to be (this much) and then I'll just lose it." Only the "losing" thing never seems to happen!
Nope, it just makes you wonder what it feels like to be bigger
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Old 12-01-2017, 12:52 PM   #36
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There is more than one way that one can 'naturally' end up fat, that sort of attitude being one of them!
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:14 PM   #37
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Theres a Fetlife group devoted to the process of thin ppl putting on weight and becoming BBW/BHM, seems that whole transformation is a big turn on for many. Which I get but personally I'm most attracted to ppl who are "naturally fat". Like, tell me you just can't seem to stop eating and gaining weight no matter what you do, that you've been overweight all your life and have fat genes from your rotund relatives,
and I get all excited. Not to say you can't be a sort of hybrid fatso, I became overweight by accident but I pushed myself over the line into obesity semi-intentionally.
I found that your statement about people getting fat sounds utterly discriminatory in a negative way: I mean from an objectivist viewpoint you clearly classify people "naturally" born to be fat like better than people who "won't" . There are a plethora of elements, circumstances, sometimes choices which stems to developp a lot of extra weight, genetic reasons underlies factually amongst the totality of the human race because our protohistorical ancestors were used to live straving periods and to stock food in order to survive. Simple.


There's aren't "naturally fat vs thin getting BBW/BHM" peoples, nor any genetic offshoot/subspecies of Homo Adiposis Sapiens Sapiens: this dichotomy you describe is nothing but mere Pseudoscience and delusional social-Darwinist bias speculations based onto an apparent form of intimate resentment you got against thin people and especially those who willingly aspire to become fatter, strikingly similar in term of demagogy to what society used (and still use) to hear about so-called Scientific racism.
Unless we hear someday about people experiencing some kind of overall-bodied lipofilling process in order to effortlessly blimp out their trim physique into somebody twice or three time their size, that somebody suffers of extreme water retention or whatsoever which kind of medical condition with gaining-adipose side effects or that you consume magical pills, everybody get fat more-or-less naturally.
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Old 12-02-2017, 08:34 AM   #38
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Nope, it just makes you wonder what it feels like to be bigger

omg you've been reading my journals!
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Old 12-02-2017, 05:23 PM   #39
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omg you've been reading my journals!
Nope! You must have been reading my mind
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:20 AM   #40
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I think that the question of naturally fat vs. thin to fat conversions is a bit unfair. For example, I used to be an athlete and just kept the diet and lost the exercise and before I knew it four years had passed and 160lbs were added to my frame that turned me from a fairly soild guy (I played ball, lifted daily, and wrestled), to a kushy guy well over 400lbs, in addition to the loss of a lot of muscle mass. Is 4 years a long time? Could that be considered a transformation? I've always been on the husky side, but until I stopped playing sports I wouldn't have considered myself as seriously overweight. Even now at over 450 it seems hard to consider that a transformation. Is it a time thing? Is transformation something that has to be taken part in with a second party? Idk....
All I know is that regardless of if transformation is a part of someone's kink in being attracted to me, or if they just like big guys in general, it's a nice change of pace from what I get from most people.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:19 AM   #41
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I think that the question of naturally fat vs. thin to fat conversions is a bit unfair. For example, I used to be an athlete and just kept the diet and lost the exercise and before I knew it four years had passed and 160lbs were added to my frame that turned me from a fairly soild guy (I played ball, lifted daily, and wrestled), to a kushy guy well over 400lbs, in addition to the loss of a lot of muscle mass. Is 4 years a long time? Could that be considered a transformation? I've always been on the husky side, but until I stopped playing sports I wouldn't have considered myself as seriously overweight. Even now at over 450 it seems hard to consider that a transformation. Is it a time thing? Is transformation something that has to be taken part in with a second party? Idk....
All I know is that regardless of if transformation is a part of someone's kink in being attracted to me, or if they just like big guys in general, it's a nice change of pace from what I get from most people.
You're the definition of what I call a natural fatty. A person that is big built that, without making an intentional effort, is fat. It sounds like you had to be really into your diet and exercise in order not to be fat.
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:46 AM   #42
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I think I might fit the definition of someone who is a natural fatty. Starting around second grade I began to gain weight and I was a chubby grammer school kid. In high school I grew fatter reaching a high of 205 lbs., which by today standards is considered pretty normal, but back then was considered fat. I have always had large soft moobs. Between junior and senior year I lost all of my excess weight and pretty much kept it off until I was in my mid-30's when I slowly started gaining weight again even though I was working out 3 times a week and fairly active. I take after my German maternal grandfather and Italian fraternal grandmother, both of whom were fat most of their lives. When I went over 200 lbs. again in my late 30's, I decided to just eat what I wanted and enjoy my life. I steadily gained over 100 lbs. during a 12 year period, topping out at 305 lbs. I am now in the 275 to 285 range, love to eat and cannot lose weight even if wanted to. So I am enjoying my life as a natural fatty and BHM.
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Old 12-08-2017, 01:18 AM   #43
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You're the definition of what I call a natural fatty. A person that is big built that, without making an intentional effort, is fat. It sounds like you had to be really into your diet and exercise in order not to be fat.
Ya know. I've never really thought of it that way. It does count I suppose that I've always been a bit heavier, but the thing that killed me was that wrestling 11 months of the year for 8 years I got really used to being able to eat 5-10k calories a day without putting on a single ounce of fat due to 4 hour workouts 6 days a week. So I think I just liked and was so used to eating so much I couldn't help it? I guess I did have to put in some effort, but that still doesn't define the transformation part of it. hmmm...
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Old 12-08-2017, 10:00 AM   #44
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I want a confidant, not just a body. If she doesn't really feel passionately delighted by fatness, there's no room to connect.
This.

I had a lover, once, who would GRAB my fat the way some ladies grab a guy's chest or biceps. She would grab anything she could find, and knead it, poke it, push it, pull it, making a mess of me.

You need that...a person who knows that drives you insane, and will do it like it's her idea.
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Old 12-10-2017, 01:20 PM   #45
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I love being around a woman that has 'extra curves'. I love it even more when that woman enjoys life in general, and that includes when she sits down for a meal or a snack (those that pick at their food, don't know the joy they are missing out on). And when I am with someone like that, say out for dinner, I can feel better about enjoying more of my meal as well. But, it can get really exciting for me to be around a woman that not only enjoys her meals, but is letting herself expand the curves she already has. I would want to spoil her with occasional treats, but I would never want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do.
So, to answer the question, I love women on both ends of the spectrum, but I would really love to watch the transformation as a woman goes through the changes in her figure.
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Old 12-20-2017, 03:51 PM   #46
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This.

I had a lover, once, who would GRAB my fat the way some ladies grab a guy's chest or biceps. She would grab anything she could find, and knead it, poke it, push it, pull it, making a mess of me.

You need that...a person who knows that drives you insane, and will do it like it's her idea.
That does sound like fun, especially if we could talk about it too. As I said, a confidant.
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Old 02-04-2018, 01:07 AM   #47
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I've seen some thin women get quite fat and it looks natural and if you didn't know it you would think they had always been fat.

With men when a skinny guy gets fat you can tell it's a fat skinny guy. Especially if it's mostly belly weight. There's no natural fatness.
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:07 AM   #48
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That does sound like fun, especially if we could talk about it too. As I said, a confidant.
It is always gratifying to have a lover that WANTS you. Like an animal...pouncing on you in the middle of the night, or when you get home, or such.
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:38 AM   #49
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AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmyJo1976 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kilo riley View Post
I've seen some thin women get quite fat and it looks natural and if you didn't know it you would think they had always been fat.

With men when a skinny guy gets fat you can tell it's a fat skinny guy. Especially if it's mostly belly weight. There's no natural fatness.
I'll have to disagree with that second part. I've seen guys who were formally skinny fill out nicely
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Old 02-04-2018, 11:51 AM   #50
Tracii
 
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Location: Commonwealth of Ky
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Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Those are the guys that look like a tooth pick with an olive stuck on it. LOL
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