My Fiance Doesn't Understand the Attraction of Fat Women

Iannathedriveress · 10-06-2017, 08:52 AM

I know a post of like this has been put out many times but my fiance doesn't understand my attraction to fat women at all. She is a plus size transwoman like me. I try to explain why I have such an attraction towards plus size women and thinks it's more of a fetish than preference. Can anyone help me out with simple explanations?

waldo · 10-06-2017, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iannathedriveress

I know a post of like this has been put out many times but my fiance doesn't understand my attraction to fat women at all. She is a plus size transwoman like me. I try to explain why I have such an attraction towards plus size women and thinks it's more of a fetish than preference. Can anyone help me out with simple explanations?

Check out this guy. I think his explanations about how exaggerated curves of a plus-size woman's body can be appealing/mesmerizing are quite thought provoking.https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_c...&v=Q4B_yY8BgPw

jakub · 10-17-2017, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iannathedriveress

...thinks it's more of a fetish than preference

Why does it matter? Fetish or preference - whatever. You are what you are.

BBW MeganLynn44DD · 10-17-2017, 02:43 PM

When I first met my husband I was thin,yes believe it or not.We were friends but not at all dating or anything.As I began to gain he asked me out.I was frustrated and I’d diet,lose some and than gain even more back.Yep,the vicious cycle.As he was more open and honest i thought he was really odd.As I’ve gottten bigger I have learned to accept my weight,even like it.So I see where he is coming from and I understand his preferences.Everyone is different.

**FreeThinker** · 10-21-2017, 11:38 AM

Does your fianceé understand her attraction to you?

Tad · 11-29-2017, 08:30 AM

I don't think my wife has ever really understood my attraction per se, but she settled into viewing that as something like 'benignly quirky' and appreciates that I appreciate her body.

Over the years she's relaxed somewhat -- used to be I'd avoid her tummy altogether because she's tensed up, but she'd come to enjoy light kisses and stroking there (but I still avoid emphasizing the fatness of her tummy -- don't grope it, jiggle it, or all that sort of fatty-fun stuff).

All of which is to say even if you can never convert her to your fat-is-beautiful view of things, hopefully you can reach a point where you can get along well enough on the topic.

extra_m13 · 11-29-2017, 12:21 PM

i dont think there is an easier way to explain it that just saying it as it is. i mean, people have a taste for things. colors, cars, flavours, meals, places to visit, and of course shapes and sizes of the opposite sex. therefore my dear, i like fat woman, others may enjoy a particular skin color or style of hair or shape or height in her partner, i enjoy fat woman, preferably the pear type for example

quantumbits · 12-17-2017, 05:24 PM

I tihnk we need to turn more often to the musle attraction for clarity. A woman might not understand why a man would like fat. She strives to get rid of it. She likes how her body looks when there's less fat. It's the same but in reverse for a body builder. They like how muscle looks on their body. They want more. But many woman don't like lots of muscle. Tell the woman who doesn't understand fat attraction it's the same as her not liking huge muscle men. The distaste she has for huge muscle men is about the same distaste a fat admirer might have for thin people.

This wouldn't work for everyone. For a transwoman who's attracted to woman and doesn't like fat, you'd need to find another way to get the idea across. Perhaps if she doesn't liike fat woman you could use that. Just tell her the distaste she has for fat woman is the same you have for thin woman. Or, conversely, if she likes muscle on woman and has a distaste for no muscle, use that in your effort to communicate the idea.

Another way to do it for straight woman is it's popular for woman to like tall men. Use that. Tell her the distaste she has for short men is similar to the distaste a fat admirer has for thin people. Or if she's aroused by confident men, tell her the distaste is like the distaste she has for men lacking confidence.

Some people are only weakly sexual, or even asexual. I guess for them you have to use another matter entirely to communicate it. For example, if they like football, but don't like basketball. But how much other things can apply to sexual desire is debatable how much it'll add to understanding.

quantumbits · 12-17-2017, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreeThinker

Does your fianceé understand her attraction to you?

I like this one!

10-06-2017, 08:52 AM	#1
Iannathedriveress Random Heroine Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Southern Illinois Posts: 5,056	My Fiance Doesn't Understand the Attraction of Fat Women I know a post of like this has been put out many times but my fiance doesn't understand my attraction to fat women at all. She is a plus size transwoman like me. I try to explain why I have such an attraction towards plus size women and thinks it's more of a fetish than preference. Can anyone help me out with simple explanations?

11-29-2017, 08:30 AM	#6
Tad mostly harmless Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 12,608	I don't think my wife has ever really understood my attraction per se, but she settled into viewing that as something like 'benignly quirky' and appreciates that I appreciate her body. Over the years she's relaxed somewhat -- used to be I'd avoid her tummy altogether because she's tensed up, but she'd come to enjoy light kisses and stroking there (but I still avoid emphasizing the fatness of her tummy -- don't grope it, jiggle it, or all that sort of fatty-fun stuff). All of which is to say even if you can never convert her to your fat-is-beautiful view of things, hopefully you can reach a point where you can get along well enough on the topic. __________________ Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure. -Djuna Barnes, writer and artist

11-29-2017, 12:21 PM	#7
extra_m13 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Mexico Posts: 10,605	women i dont think there is an easier way to explain it that just saying it as it is. i mean, people have a taste for things. colors, cars, flavours, meals, places to visit, and of course shapes and sizes of the opposite sex. therefore my dear, i like fat woman, others may enjoy a particular skin color or style of hair or shape or height in her partner, i enjoy fat woman, preferably the pear type for example

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10-17-2017, 02:43 PM	#4
BBW MeganLynn44DD Perfectly Round Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: East Coast Posts: 570	When I first met my husband I was thin,yes believe it or not.We were friends but not at all dating or anything.As I began to gain he asked me out.I was frustrated and I’d diet,lose some and than gain even more back.Yep,the vicious cycle.As he was more open and honest i thought he was really odd.As I’ve gottten bigger I have learned to accept my weight,even like it.So I see where he is coming from and I understand his preferences.Everyone is different.

10-21-2017, 11:38 AM	#5
FreeThinker Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Upper Canada Posts: 4,496	Does your fianceé understand her attraction to you?

12-17-2017, 05:24 PM	#8
quantumbits Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: US, OR Posts: 55	I tihnk we need to turn more often to the musle attraction for clarity. A woman might not understand why a man would like fat. She strives to get rid of it. She likes how her body looks when there's less fat. It's the same but in reverse for a body builder. They like how muscle looks on their body. They want more. But many woman don't like lots of muscle. Tell the woman who doesn't understand fat attraction it's the same as her not liking huge muscle men. The distaste she has for huge muscle men is about the same distaste a fat admirer might have for thin people. This wouldn't work for everyone. For a transwoman who's attracted to woman and doesn't like fat, you'd need to find another way to get the idea across. Perhaps if she doesn't liike fat woman you could use that. Just tell her the distaste she has for fat woman is the same you have for thin woman. Or, conversely, if she likes muscle on woman and has a distaste for no muscle, use that in your effort to communicate the idea. Another way to do it for straight woman is it's popular for woman to like tall men. Use that. Tell her the distaste she has for short men is similar to the distaste a fat admirer has for thin people. Or if she's aroused by confident men, tell her the distaste is like the distaste she has for men lacking confidence. Some people are only weakly sexual, or even asexual. I guess for them you have to use another matter entirely to communicate it. For example, if they like football, but don't like basketball. But how much other things can apply to sexual desire is debatable how much it'll add to understanding.