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Old 12-01-2006, 12:54 PM   #1
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Default just out of curiosity..

i was just wondering when any of you knew you had a "fat fetish" or whatever you want to call it. i know this must sound really odd but i didnt realise until not so long ago..and until then i just couldnt understand why i wasnt really attracted to anyone. i hope i dont sound like a complete freak. anyone care to share your thoughts?
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Old 12-01-2006, 01:13 PM   #2
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A great number of people here may take some small offense in their attractions of bigger people as being terms a fetish rather than a preference. No, I'm not jumping on you in the slightest for this as it's just a term, but some may see that as a pejorative to a sensual and romantic inclination! ;-)

Now, what do you mean by "why i wasnt really attracted to anyone"? Could you explain a bit more?
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Old 12-01-2006, 01:51 PM   #3
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I don't know, the "why I wasn't attracted to anyone" is rather indicative of a genuine fetish. I suspect these boards are peopled by both camps - those who simply pefer squooshier body types, and those who actually require certain physical conditions to be met in order to be aroused at all.

I am definitely of the latter category. As to the OP's question:

I have memories as far back as the fourth grade (8-9 years old) of making "flip books" for myself of a little cartoon dude eating and eating as his body got fatter and fatter. And I used to bookmark all my Archie comics at the pages where Jughead ate a lot and got really stuffed. At the time I didn't understand at all why it was so fascinating or why it got me so excited. I finally interpreted the feeling as a sexual one when I was about 14 or 15 and my "boy fantasies" abruptly collided with my fascination with stuffing.

I still didn't understand that it was an actual FETISH until after I had dated several guys and found I had no ability or desire to have sex with them. The first big bellied guy I dated was the man I finally lost my virginity to. I didn't even like him much, but at least I got off. :P

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Old 12-01-2006, 04:56 PM   #4
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Default i vote for preference too

i dont know what the technical meaning is of fetish, but it has a connotation that i dont like.

i wonder how many people really realize how much their mindset has to being turned on versus thinking that the person they are with just doesnt do enough? i think that perhaps as much as 80% of being really attracted contributes to stimulation.

it is weird that we can find some people attractive but not stimulating. that makes things confusing.

perhaps that is why now that i have a big round gut women dont seem to be as attracted to me in general. theyre confused. yep, that must be it.

well, this gut isn't going away, in fact it seems to be growing bigger each week, so all i can hope for is that some women will stop being confused.

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Old 12-01-2006, 05:50 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachel
I don't know, the "why I wasn't attracted to anyone" is rather indicative of a genuine fetish. I suspect these boards are peopled by both camps - those who simply pefer squooshier body types, and those who actually require certain physical conditions to be met in order to be aroused at all.

I am definitely of the latter category. As to the OP's question:

I have memories as far back as the fourth grade (8-9 years old) of making "flip books" for myself of a little cartoon dude eating and eating as his body got fatter and fatter. And I used to bookmark all my Archie comics at the pages where Jughead ate a lot and got really stuffed. At the time I didn't understand at all why it was so fascinating or why it got me so excited. I finally interpreted the feeling as a sexual one when I was about 14 or 15 and my "boy fantasies" abruptly collided with my fascination with stuffing.

I still didn't understand that it was an actual FETISH until after I had dated several guys and found I had no ability or desire to have sex with them. The first big bellied guy I dated was the man I finally lost my virginity to. I didn't even like him much, but at least I got off. :P

rachel
Seconded. There are definitely members of moth camps--and some of us who're on both sides to some degree--on the boads. As for awareness of preference...I'd have to say that I was around six or seven when I caught on the difference in body types and began leaning. Obviously sexual interest didn't come to the forefront until I was older...I think I was probably about sixteen when it finally clicked. (What can I say? I'm slow.)
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Old 12-01-2006, 08:08 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AppreSheAte
i dont know what the technical meaning is of fetish, but it has a connotation that i dont like.
Technically, a fetishist is someone who can not get sexually aroused without the presense of their fetish. A fetish, then, is something which is the sexual "trigger point" for a fetishist.

It sucks that "fetish" has come to mean "fringe freak-thing", but that's not really what it means. :/

I'd also like to point out that fetishists don't choose to be fetishists, nor do we get to choose what our fetish will be. :/

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Old 12-01-2006, 08:50 PM   #7
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My mother has a story or two about me forcing food on people when I was four, which I think is when it all started. I can't remember *not* day dreaming about fat people. Interestingly I never actually met or saw a fat person until I was about nine or ten. I used to think your tummy just got longer and longer like a tube.

Also, yes, Jughead.
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:13 PM   #8
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I remember being embarrassed when anyone mentioned the word “belly” from when I was four. Plus I used to make-believe play Garfield, where he would get really, really fat. None of my friends got it.
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Old 12-02-2006, 01:58 AM   #9
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Hi Rachel

I think that another word is needed because for a lot of people the word fetish means a person that goes overboard with or is weird about a preference. An example is when a person is said to have a shoe fetish, most people do not mean that that person is masturbating with their shoes

William



Quote:
Originally Posted by rachel
Technically, a fetishist is someone who can not get sexually aroused without the presense of their fetish. A fetish, then, is something which is the sexual "trigger point" for a fetishist.

It sucks that "fetish" has come to mean "fringe freak-thing", but that's not really what it means. :/

I'd also like to point out that fetishists don't choose to be fetishists, nor do we get to choose what our fetish will be. :/

rachel
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Old 12-02-2006, 08:47 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by William
Hi Rachel

I think that another word is needed because for a lot of people the word fetish means a person that goes overboard with or is weird about a preference. An example is when a person is said to have a shoe fetish, most people do not mean that that person is masturbating with their shoes

William
Actually, Rachel's right. Psychologically, a fetishist is tied to their fetish object--they cannot, or they have very intense difficulty, becoming aroused with its presence.

Unless you're asking for us to create another word that means quasi-fetish. IN which case...let the games begin! I love making up words!
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Old 12-02-2006, 09:12 AM   #11
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Hi Laina

Yes a new word that could used for people who take interests and preferences too far, to the point of obsession.

Something like a grown man with and his model train sets and the dedicated wing to his house to hold his train sets

William


Quote:
Originally Posted by Laina
Actually, Rachel's right. Psychologically, a fetishist is tied to their fetish object--they cannot, or they have very intense difficulty, becoming aroused with its presence.

Unless you're asking for us to create another word that means quasi-fetish. IN which case...let the games begin! I love making up words!
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Old 12-02-2006, 10:05 AM   #12
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Default Paraphilias vs Preferences

From ALLPsych Online

"Paraphilias and Sexual Disorders

Common Characteristics
Paraphilias all have in common distressing and repetitive sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors. These fantasies, urges, or behaviors must occur for a significant period of time and must interfere with either satisfactory sexual relations or everyday functioning if the diagnosis is to be made. There is also a sense of distress within these individuals. In other words, they typically recognize the symptoms as negatively impacting their life but feel as if they are unable to control them.

Disorders in this Category
Exhibitionism
Fetishism
Frotteurism
Pedophilia
Sexual Masochism
Sexual Sadism
Transvestic Fetishism
Voyeurism"

True paraphilias are very rare and are best assessed and diagnosed by a Psychologist or Psychiatrist...the key idea is that the obsessive and compulsive throughts and behaviors hamper functionality in a relationship or in daily life to the point where there are serious impacts on the ability to hold a job, engage in regular social discourse or exist safely in the community. Many of these people cross the line into criminal behavior and are brought to the attention of Mental Health professionals as sexual offenders.

Again, this is a very small percentage of people, and there is a vast difference between a consciously held preference which can be expressed safely in social life and a dangerous and obsessive pattern of thought and behavior which cripples the individual and can threaten the community. The problem is that an individual with a predisposition to obsessive throught patterns can slowly drift from preference to paraphiliac behaviors. There is no clean and easy break there. In the clinic where I work, we have some clients who express paraphilias as parts of larger mental health problems. It is very rare to find paraphilia as a stand-alone diagnosis, but it happens and it is a very sad thing.


http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/index.html

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Old 12-02-2006, 10:50 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by William
Hi Laina

Yes a new word that could used for people who take interests and preferences too far, to the point of obsession.

Something like a grown man with and his model train sets and the dedicated wing to his house to hold his train sets

William
We can't just call it Model Train Syndrome? C'mon, it's not like any of the other names make sense.

As a side note, surface earthquake waves? They're called "Love Waves". For no reason at all, that entertains me. (It was...kinda related to the naming things thing...)
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Old 12-02-2006, 10:46 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by estrata
I remember being embarrassed when anyone mentioned the word “belly” from when I was four. Plus I used to make-believe play Garfield, where he would get really, really fat. None of my friends got it.
Oh god me too.
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Old 12-12-2006, 07:39 AM   #15
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I have a problem with the word "fetish" when it is used to describe liking a particular type of person, for example I think it would be taking it too far to say I have a "female fetish" although a female has to be there that doesn't automatically make it a fetish, lots of people have a type, some are VERY strict about that type, that doesn't necessarily make it a fetish, once knew a girl who wouldn't contemplate going out with anything other than a black guy, saying she had a fetish is offensive to her and her boyfriends.

If it is about objects, circumstances, external stimuli other than another person themselves THEN I think it is fair enough to say fetish, otherwise something tamer, more "polite", more general would be preferable.

Anyway, just my two penneth worth!

Rich
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Old 12-12-2006, 09:31 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CartmanUK26
I have a problem with the word "fetish" when it is used to describe liking a particular type of person, for example I think it would be taking it too far to say I have a "female fetish" although a female has to be there that doesn't automatically make it a fetish, lots of people have a type, some are VERY strict about that type, that doesn't necessarily make it a fetish, once knew a girl who wouldn't contemplate going out with anything other than a black guy, saying she had a fetish is offensive to her and her boyfriends.

If it is about objects, circumstances, external stimuli other than another person themselves THEN I think it is fair enough to say fetish, otherwise something tamer, more "polite", more general would be preferable.

Anyway, just my two penneth worth!

Rich
I think the difference lies in the nature of the obsession: a fetish, IIRC, is sexualizing a non-sexual object or body part (shoes, feet, etc.) as opposed to taking a person as a whole.
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