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Old 08-12-2007, 05:31 AM   #1
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Default Advice for or from FFAs or “How to ‘Grow’ Your Own BHM”

Preliminary Note: I am sorry this topic is written with reference to FFAs “encouraging” gaining. I had originally drafted it for the BHM/FFA board, but then I read the “Gaining: For those looking to get fatter” sticky thread on that board, and decided this topic seems better suited for the “Weight Board.” I was lazy and decided not to re-write it to be “gender neutral,” but certainly, I encourage contributions from anyone with experience relating to this topic regardless of gender.

As a relative “newbie” here, I hesitated to create a new thread unless I could come up with a topic that did not appear to have been previously addressed. I think I have come up with one. I hope you all agree and find it worthwhile.

Of course, there have been threads begun by FFAs discussing how to best “show” a guy that they “appreciate” his size or even how to “show” a guy who is not yet large, but has been gaining a bit, that they appreciate his added girth and would even like to see him keep gaining. Similarly, there have been many discussions of how to not only show a guy such feelings, but how to actually come out and tell him about such preferences. That is not, of course, the intended subject of this thread.

My question is this, once an FFA has made her appreciation for her partner’s size clearly known and even indicated a preference for further gaining, perhaps also with her “assistance,” what “methods” have people used or experienced which have been effective in encouraging further weight-gain?

Of course, I do not mean tricks or anything dishonest and unethical. I mean, in the context of both parties agreeing upon further weight-gain, does anyone have experience with little methods (even just words) which had the effect of, sort of, helping along in the shared goal further weight-gain?

This is, of course, open to all. If you were the FFA in the relationship, was there anything that you did or said (beyond the obvious) to encourage weight-gain? Likewise, if you were the one gaining, was there anything that the FFA you were with did or said that encouraged you further?

I know this question may be a bit vague, so I will provide some examples of what I mean, and get the thread started, with a couple of postings describing things that my girlfriend did which had the effect of encouraging me to eat and gain more (or at least faster) than I might have otherwise.
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Old 08-12-2007, 07:58 AM   #2
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Default Measure Every Pound and Inch – Make it into a “Game”

Sorry I did not post this “kick-off” to my new thread sooner. I do have one question that, perhaps, someone can clarify for a “new guy.” The description for this board is “Erotic weight gain and fantasy issues.” That is a bit confusing because I am not sure if that means some people write “fantasy” that has not really happened. If so, I assume it would be clearly labeled as such. The reason I mention this is that, if you have read any of my few postings on other threads, I often include some description of my experience with my girlfriend (perhaps not always necessary). I do not mean to be repetitive, but it is my only such experience and I assume what we post here is supposed to be based on “real” experiences unless clearly identified as otherwise. I suppose I could take a crack at posting “fantasy” in order to be less repetitive, but for now, I have been writing about my experience with my girlfriend after she “discovered” she was an FFA and I gained weight with her “help.” Sorry to repeat myself a bit, but I confess, I very much enjoy recounting various aspects of my experiences with her in detail because it is like “re-living” them all over again.

Now, finally, here is my REAL posting in response to my own question for this thread:

When my girlfriend and I started dating a couple of years ago, I was rather lean and had been all my life (this is, of course, no longer the case). She too was, and still is, VERY lean and has remained very careful to stay that way even as I have gained quite a bit of weight. She was always into cooking, including many rather rich foods, but she was rarely able to cook that way for herself because such high-calorie foods did not fit with her strictly low-calorie diet. So she was thrilled to have me to cook for since she could be sure that I would eat most (or even all) of what she prepared thus leaving few, if any, leftovers that she might be tempted to eat herself.

As you probably already guessed, this caused me to gain a bit of weight quite unintentionally. To make a long story less long, she soon “discovered” that she was an FFA and told me of her “appreciation” for my newly gained “plumpness” as well as her desire for me to gain MUCH more. She asked if I would agree to do so with her “assistance” no less. Seeing how much she wanted to satisfy her newly discovered “FFA feelings,” and as I had also “discovered” that I did not mind having gained some weight, or the prospect of gaining much more, I happily agreed.

Always on-guard against any weight gain, something she did to help “maintain her very slender figure” (since long before meeting me) was to weigh and measure herself (with a tape-measure, of course) every couple of weeks. Once we had set-about our shared goal of “fattening me up,” she suggested that she also weigh and measure me in that manner in order to have some “objective indicator” of whether I was gaining as intended and, if so, how much and how fast.

The first time we did this was interesting for me in several ways. First, we did so in her living room with the window-curtains closed. She then asked that I, as she put it, “dress for” weighing and measuring so as to have no “excess clothing” to give false results (only my “boxers”). It was actually a bit embarrassing because I felt as if I was being “examined,” which of course, I was. It also somehow seemed odd to be doing this, dressed as I was, in her living-room rather than, say, her bathroom where the scale was located and where I would expect to be “weighed.” Additionally, she did not have me “measure” myself, but SHE wrapped the tape-measure around my middle herself, which was a rather fun experience in a strange way. I highly recommend it.

Even the experience of being weighed felt a bit odd. She brought her bathroom scale into her living-room and, when she was “ready,” she sort of “led me” to step onto the scale as if SHE was “actively” weighing me. Being dressed, measured, and weighed that way in her living-room felt a bit odd. It felt as if I was somehow “on-display.” I am not sure how else to describe it.

She wrote-down the results for future reference and, I am quite sure, she intended that such “tracking” of my size and weight would merely serve as a means to “quantify” the degree to which we were “succeeding,” and nothing more (at least, at first). But very soon, the actual affect came to be that her actions “contributed” to “encouraging” my further and more rapid weight-gain.

After a few such weighing and measuring “sessions,” her responses to the “changes” that had occurred began to shape my “attitude” regarding my own eating and weight-gain. When I had gained relatively little weight since the prior “session,” she would playfully frown and feign disappointment saying something like, “Looks like I’m not feeding you enough.” In contrast, on occasions when I had gained a significant amount of size and weight since the last “session,” her reaction was always very “enthusiastic” and she would say things like, “You’re fattening-up nicely.” Before long, I badly wanted to hear her praise and avoid her disappointment.

With my increasing weight and size being quantified, down to the last pound and inch, I always had a very clear set of “numbers” to “improve upon” over and over. As such, without intending it, my girlfriend had made it into a sort of a “game” for me. I would do my best to make certain that, when she next weighed and measured me, the results would be quite “pleasing” to her.

Like so may issues discussed on the Weight Board, matters related to one or both members of a couple’s weight also began to overlap into matters of “intimacy.” As I noted before, even at first, I felt as if I was “on display” for her and this feeling only increased with my size and weight, but in a way that became strangely “exciting” as if it was a form of “play.” Besides being “fun” for us both, this unexpected aspect of my being weighed and measured further “encouraged” me to gain.

Early on, even when I had only gained a bit of weight and was not really “large,” being dressed in my boxers as my girlfriend meticulously weighed and measured me was a strange experience. But as many months passed and I grew (in my girlfriend’s words) from “plump” to “chubby” to “fat” and even to what she described as “tubby” or “blimpy” (indicating my rather large, round belly), she soon took to poking, prodding, and pinching my newly gained girth as if to add a more “subjective” form of “measurement” to her “examination.” Why stop with size and weight?

By the time I had been gaining for well over a year, and had become fairly large (“tubby” or “blimpy” as she put it), our “sessions” felt, more than ever, as if I was “on display” for my “ever appreciative” girlfriend. After all, there I was, standing in her living room with her fully-dressed and I only in my boxers ready to be “examined.” And I was no longer standing there “on display” with only a few pounds of, as she had called it, “plumpness,” but I came to be standing there with my quite large, round, protruding, fat belly sticking well out in front of me which had also become rather wide. Of course, as she always pointed out, I had also become rather “puffy” and “rounded” over the rest of my body most of which was also clearly “on display” for her examination (dressed as I was). Of course, there was then much MORE of me to be on display.

The point is that we came to make the experience of “tracking my weight-gain” not only into a “game” which “encouraged" me to gain, but also into a form of “play” and “intimacy” that we had never expected. It was fun for us both and further encouraged my weight-gain. To any couples looking for one or both members to gain, as I said before, I highly recommend it.

(I apologize for the posting having become a bit lengthy. I will try to keep my next one “tighter.”)

Last edited by newlylarge; 08-12-2007 at 08:04 AM. Reason: Typo
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Old 08-12-2007, 09:51 AM   #3
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Here's my advice. Use a light mulch, water him twice a day, and keep him in a spot where he gets lots of indirect sunlight. He should be growing like anything by late june.
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Old 08-12-2007, 10:10 AM   #4
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Default That's the reason I haven't posted anything on this board...

...for years....he read and followed the rules, he posted to the right board...he asked for some serious input and the first answer out is pure smart-aleck. His only mistake was not having the history that there has been serious negativity and even prejudice on this board toward anything gainer/feeding related for as long as the board has been here and I am including the old boards. This is why people go underground...this is anything but a safe haven.

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Here's my advice. Use a light mulch, water him twice a day, and keep him in a spot where he gets lots of indirect sunlight. He should be growing like anything by late june.
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Old 08-12-2007, 10:31 AM   #5
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Eek. ._.

I wasn't trying to be obnoxious or anything, I just thought it might be amusing.

Seriously, I don't imagine methods of growing bhms would be any different than ways to encourage or help gain occur in bbws, yah know?
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 08-12-2007, 10:54 AM   #6
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Hey, I thought it was a reasonably well-thought out post(s) that unfortunately I don't have advice for, except maybe to ease up on the quotation marks; we "get" what you're "talking about" without them.
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Old 08-12-2007, 02:49 PM   #7
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Anyway, back to the OP, do you want people's different experiences with this kind of thing? Because your original response seems to show you're already having a lot of success with this, which is great.
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Old 08-14-2007, 12:31 AM   #8
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Default Original Guy is Finally Back

Sorry to have started this thread and then disappeared for two days. I simply became busy with work-related matters (even on Sunday). Also, let me say that I took no offense to anything posted here and I found the attempts at humor, well, humorous. I knew when I started this thread that is was rather silly and that is as I intended it.

Just a bit of goofy fun.

One quick note regarding BHMs and BBWs and which recieve too much or too little attention or whether there are any sexist elements to focusing on either. All postings made here related to those issues are appreciated and well taken, but please do not mistake the title of the thread as an indication of gender-bias. I had simply intended the thread for the BHM/FFA board and had thus posed the topic as FFAs "growing" BHMs. But I then saw that any matters related to gaining are supposed to be posted on the Weight Board. I did not take the time to re-write the text I had already written to be gender-neutral. I should have done so. Sorry for any confusion it may have caused.

I was gratified to see the volume of responses to this, my very first, newly created thread. And I was also surprised to see the nerve that the subject seems to have touched. For my part, I suppose I did not regard this topic as one of feeder/feedee per se, although clearly the issue of intentional gaining is at the heart of it. After all, my girlfriend was not actually feeding me, but merely cooking meals for me with the shared intention (on both our parts) of me gaining weight. I found it funny that the seemingly innocuous act of weighing and measuring me to track my progress became an encouragement for me to gain and later even became a form of intimate play that we shared.

Additionally, my intention was to invite people to share experiences related to the encouragement of weight gain that were beyond the obvious or usual which, I suppose, would include any basic feeder/feedee activity. The example I posted was intended to illustrate an unintended and unexpected effect of something that seemed rather mundane. After all, when someone is trying to lose weight, they generally weigh or even measure themselves to track their progress and my girlfriend had long been doing so as a means to maintain her slender frame. We simply applied the common practice to the less-usual goal of gaining, rather than losing or maintaining, weight.

As such, my example posting was, I hope, written to be (at least a bit) amusing. The silly aspect of what we did formed the basis of how my girlfriend and I came to treat, what started-off as, a purely practical tracking of my weight-gain as also a form of intimate play. In fact, if everyone will forgive me posting another reply soon after this one, I will recount another example of how my girlfriend and I even used our weighing and measuring "sessions" to turn some fairly unkind comments made by her friends into an additional source of humor, fun, and intimate play that we came to share. I will try to explain further in a subsequent posting.

But the point of all this droning-on is simply this, I hope that everyone takes this thread in its intended spirit. As a light-hearted exercise in silly fun. Even if you find any form of intentional gaining off-putting, I hope you can find the humor in postings like my initial example as well as the one I intend to post next. I also hope others can describe some similar experiences they have had.

Or am I and my girlfriend bigger weirdos than I had realized for doing such things?

Last edited by newlylarge; 08-14-2007 at 12:45 AM. Reason: Additions
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Old 08-14-2007, 08:29 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newlylarge View Post
Sorry to have started this thread and then disappeared for two days. I simply became busy with work-related matters (even on Sunday). Also, let me say that I took no offense to anything posted here and I found the attempts at humor, well, humorous. I knew when I started this thread that is was rather silly and that is as I intended it.

Just a bit of goofy fun.

One quick note regarding BHMs and BBWs and which recieve too much or too little attention or whether there are any sexist elements to focusing on either. All postings made here related to those issues are appreciated and well taken, but please do not mistake the title of the thread as an indication of gender-bias. I had simply intended the thread for the BHM/FFA board and had thus posed the topic as FFAs "growing" BHMs. But I then saw that any matters related to gaining are supposed to be posted on the Weight Board. I did not take the time to re-write the text I had already written to be gender-neutral. I should have done so. Sorry for any confusion it may have caused.

I was gratified to see the volume of responses to this, my very first, newly created thread. And I was also surprised to see the nerve that the subject seems to have touched. For my part, I suppose I did not regard this topic as one of feeder/feedee per se, although clearly the issue of intentional gaining is at the heart of it. After all, my girlfriend was not actually feeding me, but merely cooking meals for me with the shared intention (on both our parts) of me gaining weight. I found it funny that the seemingly innocuous act of weighing and measuring me to track my progress became an encouragement for me to gain and later even became a form of intimate play that we shared.

Additionally, my intention was to invite people to share experiences related to the encouragement of weight gain that were beyond the obvious or usual which, I suppose, would include any basic feeder/feedee activity. The example I posted was intended to illustrate an unintended and unexpected effect of something that seemed rather mundane. After all, when someone is trying to lose weight, they generally weigh or even measure themselves to track their progress and my girlfriend had long been doing so as a means to maintain her slender frame. We simply applied the common practice to the less-usual goal of gaining, rather than losing or maintaining, weight.

As such, my example posting was, I hope, written to be (at least a bit) amusing. The silly aspect of what we did formed the basis of how my girlfriend and I came to treat, what started-off as, a purely practical tracking of my weight-gain as also a form of intimate play. In fact, if everyone will forgive me posting another reply soon after this one, I will recount another example of how my girlfriend and I even used our weighing and measuring "sessions" to turn some fairly unkind comments made by her friends into an additional source of humor, fun, and intimate play that we came to share. I will try to explain further in a subsequent posting.

But the point of all this droning-on is simply this, I hope that everyone takes this thread in its intended spirit. As a light-hearted exercise in silly fun. Even if you find any form of intentional gaining off-putting, I hope you can find the humor in postings like my initial example as well as the one I intend to post next. I also hope others can describe some similar experiences they have had.

Or am I and my girlfriend bigger weirdos than I had realized for doing such things?
Hey man, you wrote a good thread and a good response, no need to apologize! I think it's great that you and your girlfriend are able to do stuff that's usually only in things like WG stories; it's sounds like a lot of fun.


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Originally Posted by troubadours View Post
(again Dan ex Machina, not troubadours here)

No, that's not it at all. It's that people who don't have the fetish or interest in it believe they're somehow qualified to express an opinion on it, which is akin to a straight person going to a gay board and making snarky jokes from a clear psychological distance. I'd be okay with the sense of humor here, as I said, if it wasn't completely obvious that only newbs ever post on-topic queries anymore, and they quickly learn how frustrating it is to be open about your fetish when the only people responding to your posts are like "I don't have this fetish or anything relevant to say, but here's my snarky-ass two cents." Those are really the ONLY posts that ever come out anymore, otherwise I wouldn't take issue.
Firstly, not knowing Fuzzy, I'd presume he'd have some interest if he was on the Weight Board at all. Second, if one snarky comment like that offends you so deeply, why don't you ignore it and post something relevant? This argument is about as off-topic for this thread as I can imagine. And thirdly, the OP said he didn't care about it in the first place, so can we please stop hijacking this poor man's thread?
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Old 08-14-2007, 12:11 PM   #10
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Most feedees are instigators in their own weight gain. I don't know many people who became gainers because their SO liked it and they didn't mind. For the most part the gain is something that would be happening even without a partner though admittedly it is infinitley more enjoyable with an appreciative partner/encourager in the picture.

Of the few that were in situations similar to yours, eventually a day came when they were no longer interested in gaining. Without exception the day came when they began to feel the effects, dislike their new appearance or got tired of spending money on clothes all the time that could be better used elsewhere. Upon their decision to stop and take off the weight they gained, problems began to arise that threatened the relationship even though it was a strong one previously. Once their partner experienced the joys of being in a mutual feeder/feedee relationship it was hard for them to return to status quo and food became a loaded gun, especially in relationships where the feeder does the cooking. Not trying to be a wet blanket, just sharing what I know.

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Originally Posted by newlylarge View Post
Sorry I did not post this “kick-off” to my new thread sooner. I do have one question that, perhaps, someone can clarify for a “new guy.” The description for this board is “Erotic weight gain and fantasy issues.” That is a bit confusing because I am not sure if that means some people write “fantasy” that has not really happened. If so, I assume it would be clearly labeled as such. The reason I mention this is that, if you have read any of my few postings on other threads, I often include some description of my experience with my girlfriend (perhaps not always necessary). I do not mean to be repetitive, but it is my only such experience and I assume what we post here is supposed to be based on “real” experiences unless clearly identified as otherwise. I suppose I could take a crack at posting “fantasy” in order to be less repetitive, but for now, I have been writing about my experience with my girlfriend after she “discovered” she was an FFA and I gained weight with her “help.” Sorry to repeat myself a bit, but I confess, I very much enjoy recounting various aspects of my experiences with her in detail because it is like “re-living” them all over again.

Now, finally, here is my REAL posting in response to my own question for this thread:

When my girlfriend and I started dating a couple of years ago, I was rather lean and had been all my life (this is, of course, no longer the case). She too was, and still is, VERY lean and has remained very careful to stay that way even as I have gained quite a bit of weight. She was always into cooking, including many rather rich foods, but she was rarely able to cook that way for herself because such high-calorie foods did not fit with her strictly low-calorie diet. So she was thrilled to have me to cook for since she could be sure that I would eat most (or even all) of what she prepared thus leaving few, if any, leftovers that she might be tempted to eat herself.

As you probably already guessed, this caused me to gain a bit of weight quite unintentionally. To make a long story less long, she soon “discovered” that she was an FFA and told me of her “appreciation” for my newly gained “plumpness” as well as her desire for me to gain MUCH more. She asked if I would agree to do so with her “assistance” no less. Seeing how much she wanted to satisfy her newly discovered “FFA feelings,” and as I had also “discovered” that I did not mind having gained some weight, or the prospect of gaining much more, I happily agreed.

Always on-guard against any weight gain, something she did to help “maintain her very slender figure” (since long before meeting me) was to weigh and measure herself (with a tape-measure, of course) every couple of weeks. Once we had set-about our shared goal of “fattening me up,” she suggested that she also weigh and measure me in that manner in order to have some “objective indicator” of whether I was gaining as intended and, if so, how much and how fast.

The first time we did this was interesting for me in several ways. First, we did so in her living room with the window-curtains closed. She then asked that I, as she put it, “dress for” weighing and measuring so as to have no “excess clothing” to give false results (only my “boxers”). It was actually a bit embarrassing because I felt as if I was being “examined,” which of course, I was. It also somehow seemed odd to be doing this, dressed as I was, in her living-room rather than, say, her bathroom where the scale was located and where I would expect to be “weighed.” Additionally, she did not have me “measure” myself, but SHE wrapped the tape-measure around my middle herself, which was a rather fun experience in a strange way. I highly recommend it.

Even the experience of being weighed felt a bit odd. She brought her bathroom scale into her living-room and, when she was “ready,” she sort of “led me” to step onto the scale as if SHE was “actively” weighing me. Being dressed, measured, and weighed that way in her living-room felt a bit odd. It felt as if I was somehow “on-display.” I am not sure how else to describe it.

She wrote-down the results for future reference and, I am quite sure, she intended that such “tracking” of my size and weight would merely serve as a means to “quantify” the degree to which we were “succeeding,” and nothing more (at least, at first). But very soon, the actual affect came to be that her actions “contributed” to “encouraging” my further and more rapid weight-gain.

After a few such weighing and measuring “sessions,” her responses to the “changes” that had occurred began to shape my “attitude” regarding my own eating and weight-gain. When I had gained relatively little weight since the prior “session,” she would playfully frown and feign disappointment saying something like, “Looks like I’m not feeding you enough.” In contrast, on occasions when I had gained a significant amount of size and weight since the last “session,” her reaction was always very “enthusiastic” and she would say things like, “You’re fattening-up nicely.” Before long, I badly wanted to hear her praise and avoid her disappointment.

With my increasing weight and size being quantified, down to the last pound and inch, I always had a very clear set of “numbers” to “improve upon” over and over. As such, without intending it, my girlfriend had made it into a sort of a “game” for me. I would do my best to make certain that, when she next weighed and measured me, the results would be quite “pleasing” to her.

Like so may issues discussed on the Weight Board, matters related to one or both members of a couple’s weight also began to overlap into matters of “intimacy.” As I noted before, even at first, I felt as if I was “on display” for her and this feeling only increased with my size and weight, but in a way that became strangely “exciting” as if it was a form of “play.” Besides being “fun” for us both, this unexpected aspect of my being weighed and measured further “encouraged” me to gain.

Early on, even when I had only gained a bit of weight and was not really “large,” being dressed in my boxers as my girlfriend meticulously weighed and measured me was a strange experience. But as many months passed and I grew (in my girlfriend’s words) from “plump” to “chubby” to “fat” and even to what she described as “tubby” or “blimpy” (indicating my rather large, round belly), she soon took to poking, prodding, and pinching my newly gained girth as if to add a more “subjective” form of “measurement” to her “examination.” Why stop with size and weight?

By the time I had been gaining for well over a year, and had become fairly large (“tubby” or “blimpy” as she put it), our “sessions” felt, more than ever, as if I was “on display” for my “ever appreciative” girlfriend. After all, there I was, standing in her living room with her fully-dressed and I only in my boxers ready to be “examined.” And I was no longer standing there “on display” with only a few pounds of, as she had called it, “plumpness,” but I came to be standing there with my quite large, round, protruding, fat belly sticking well out in front of me which had also become rather wide. Of course, as she always pointed out, I had also become rather “puffy” and “rounded” over the rest of my body most of which was also clearly “on display” for her examination (dressed as I was). Of course, there was then much MORE of me to be on display.

The point is that we came to make the experience of “tracking my weight-gain” not only into a “game” which “encouraged" me to gain, but also into a form of “play” and “intimacy” that we had never expected. It was fun for us both and further encouraged my weight-gain. To any couples looking for one or both members to gain, as I said before, I highly recommend it.

(I apologize for the posting having become a bit lengthy. I will try to keep my next one “tighter.”)
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Old 08-14-2007, 04:37 PM   #11
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Just a note - I pulled the posts that were derailing this thread and gave them a thread of their own. Most were moved, but some were only copied, to help keep the continuity of this thread.

The new thread is here: The Weight Board: Is it a safe haven or...?
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:52 AM   #12
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Thanks for your comments, Ekim. As I said, the interesting thing was that we had not expected our weighing and measuring "sessions" to become either a form of encouragement or of intimate play. I guess you could say that it was an unintended and pleasant surprise.


LillyBBBW, thanks for the words of warning. I suppose you are correct that my gaining occurred in the reverse of the usual order in which my weight-gain arose from an already existing relationship rather than beginning as a feedee/gainer finding a feedee and, thus, becoming a couple. I suppose that is why I did not, and do not, think of myself as a gainer nor my girlfriend and I as feeder/feedee. Please see my recent posting on the newly created thread for details.

As you said, "...it is infinitely more enjoyable with an appreciative partner/encourager in the picture." And as Ekim commented, "I think it's great that you and your girlfriend are able to do stuff that's usually only in things like WG stories; it's sounds like a lot of fun." Of course, you both are quite correct. In fact, when I first started reading about gainers on the forum (again, I intend no offense to gainers), I was a bit surprised that, as you said LillyBBBW, the more usual case is for someone to want to gain independent of an existing relationship. Again, without questioning the desires of others, I suppose I was surprised to find that people had an interest in intentionally gaining for its own sake. But to each their own.

But for me, and (I hope) without getting too personal here, our interest in my gaining was, well let's be frank, primarily sexual. My girlfriend was surprised to have discovered that she found my slight, initial, and unintentional weight-gain to be VERY attractive and exciting. She was even more surprised that her attraction grew as I did (still unintentionally) and, I am sure, she was REALLY surprised to find herself asking me to gain even more.

So, as I said, it was all in the context of our relationship and what she found that she greatly enjoyed. Of course, I enjoyed it to, but mostly my enjoyment was vicarious through her. As you can imagine, being able to do something for my girlfriend that fulfilled her desires (and fantasies?) was also a real "turn-on" for me. The more she came to enjoy my increasing girth, the more I "enjoyed her enjoyment."

Regarding your other "warnings," LillyBBBW, I hope that I did not give the wrong impression about my decision to agree to gain weight, but I suppose that I did. My posting was already a bit lengthy, so I did not address the issue in detail. But reading it again, I suppose I did create the impression that I was thinking, "My girlfriend would like me to get fat. I don't really care one way or the other. So what the heck? Let's make me get fat!"

In fact, I did consider the implications. One factor was that I was rather lean to begin with, so gaining even quite a bit of weight was not going to get me to the point where health (and certainly mobility) was an issue. As I have said, I did gain (what seemed to my girlfriend and I) quite a bit of weight especially compared with where I started. I became what (again to me and my girlfriend) seemed quite large. I became soft, puffy, rounded, plump (even chubby), all over which is exactly what my girlfriend enjoyed.

I also "grew" a rather round and fairly large belly. But again, this is all relative. When we began, I had a completely flat, firm, somewhat muscular stomach. So when I say I grew a large, round belly, I mean that it came to protrude rather considerably, became quite wide (a BIG spare-tire), and generally took on a very round shape. It grew by enough that I had to buy new, lager clothes (mainly pants) a few times. More on that below.

Even so, I somewhat doubt that my belly would be considered very large by the standards of many on the forum. So while it was a BIG change for me, it was not so dramatic that I feared thinking that I had made a huge mistake. Also, one reason that I had always been rather lean was that when I did, from time to time, gain some weight over the years, I always had no problem losing it at will. So I did not have concerns that, if I became fat, it would be an irreversible decision. In fact, I have recently begun losing some weight and have done so with little difficulty as I had expected. I am just glad that my expectations on this point have, apparently, proven to be correct.

It is funny, however, that you mention buying new clothes. I had not really thought that through and I did, of course, have to buy larger clothes more than once. Oh well, I guess one can't think of everything.

Finally, you make a good point that, "Upon their decision to stop and take off the weight they gained, problems began to arise that threatened the relationship even though it was a strong one previously. Once their partner experienced the joys of being in a mutual feeder/feedee relationship it was hard for them to return to status quo and food became a loaded gun."

Fortunately, my girlfriend and I entered our "endeavor" together with the understanding that there would be limits and it would not go on indefinitely. After about two years of my gaining, we did stop and were content with what we regarded as a reasonable, ideal weight for me which was (as intended) well suited to satisfy my girlfriend's unexpected attraction for me as a "fat guy." She appreciated that I had gained as much as I did and, after I stopped gaining and instead maintained my added weight, she never lost interest in or appreciation for it. She had more than enough fatness to "play with" to satisfy her newly discovered FFA desires.

She has since returned home to Japan as her H1B visa had expired. That is why I decided it was time to lose, some if not all, of the weight. With us separated by the Pacific Ocean, the "purpose" for my weight gain no longer exists. We still keep in touch, by email mostly, and she has visited once already to complete her move back to Tokyo. She knows I am losing weight and, of course, is completely supportive of it. We still joke about me being fat and she starts her emails with her pet name for me, "Tubby," but we know that it is now all talk and that Tubby will not be so tubby forever.

Finally, food never became a "loaded gun" for us because, as I said, we were never really feeder/feedee as far as I am concerned. The role that food played in our relationship was limited to the fact that she loved to cook but, because of her own desire to remain VERY lean (she explained that is the norm in Japan), she could not do much cooking for herself especially because the foods she most loved to cook were rather rich. So she loved having me to cook for (which is why I gained a bit of unintended weight to begin with) and an added benefit of my agreeing to gain weight was that she was able to cook for me much more often and in larger quantities. She also got the chance to "experiment" with VERY rich foods such as pastries and other sweets which she NEVER dared prepare for her own consumption.

So her interest in cooking for me was not as a feeder, but as a cook. A subtle difference perhaps, but an important one with respect to the point you made. Even when I stopped gaining, she still cooked for me, just not nearly as much. I assume that she now has, at least, some people in Tokyo (friends and family) for whom she is able to cook, at least, occasionally.

Thanks again to you both for your kind comments.

-Newlylarge
(Or as my girlfriend playfully calls me, "Tubby")
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Old 08-15-2007, 01:09 PM   #13
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Somehow this got cut off, but

This article has a lot of useful advice.

FFAs: remember to appear in public with the guy, and don't skirt the issue or make excuses if somebody remarks up on him gaining. This should really be a granted, but it's amazing the extent to which people can be publicly unsupportive.

Make sure any ambivalence and hesitancy is settled before you progress with the whole gaining experiment. If he feels uncertain, don't try to go ahead with it.

It may sound cliche, but try footing the whole bill at restaurants. It's helpful, it shows support, and it's romantic. n.n Take him out to his favorite places to eat, and point out good calorically enhanced food on the menu.
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:59 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
Somehow this got cut off, but

This article has a lot of useful advice....

Sorry, Fuzz. I moved the posts around really quickly - I knew I'd goof up one or two!
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