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Old 08-13-2007, 02:24 PM   #1
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Default Being in my 30s

You always hear that women hit their sexual peaks in their 30s. I never really gave it much thought, but, then again, I'd never been in my 30s. So, now I'm 31, which, granted, isn't too far into my 30s, but it freaking counts. It has to. I've been a very sexual person my whole life--not always active, but always in touch with my sexuality (no pun intended) and always open to and aware of it as well. Hyper-aware, really.

I'll be more frank, I have a very active fantasy life and wherever those fantasies have been possible, I have gotten the chance to actually live them. Of course, I can't fulfill some of them--some aren't humanly possible , but those that are, I have. Every single one. I'm not bragging, just admitting that my sex drive and sexual awareness have ALWAYS been a big part of my life.

But...(you knew there had to be one, right) since I've been 31, my sex drive, sexuality, sensuality, etc etc etc have been...insane. I don't mind it in some ways, because, frankly, it's given me a lot of energy and drive in general. I've written more, drawn more, socialized more, BEEN more, and that's awesome. On the other hand, sometimes it'd downright distracting.

That's how it's been in the last couple of weeks. I've been on vacation from work, so I've had a lot of extra time to fill and that could be part of it, but even so...it's killing me. I'll be walking along doing whatever--grocery shopping, browsing the library, etc--and a flash of something so over-the-top hot will go through my head and my knees will just about buckle.

In particular, and the reason I'm putting this here, I've been having visions of rapid/instant extreme weight gain (my own, natch). I've had these fantasies before, of course; they aren't coming out of no where. However, recently, they just pop up unexpectedly and unconnected to whatever else I'm doing. It's getting to be a problem, because they make my eyes glaze over and cause me to zone out of whatever is going on.

I don't really mind so much, other than making me look a bit silly when I totally drop out of a conversation, it hasn't done me any harm. I'm just wondering if it is because I've entered my 30s and whether I can expect more the further into my 30s I move.

I also wonder why it's these fantasies in particular that are popping up. As I mentioned, my fantasy life is active and varied, so why weight gain fantasies (visions) in particular? I wonder if, combined with my advancing age, it has to do with the fact that I was diagnosed with diabetes and told I must lose weight. Such extreme and rapid weight gain as I've been envisioning isn't humanly possible anyway, but now with that damned diagnosis I'm really not likely to ever gain as much as I'd like. I wonder if my mind is rebelling in a way.

I don't know. What I do know is that it's both intensely gratifying and intensely distracting. Anyone dealing with me should make note: I'm not trying to zone out and I do care about what you're saying, even if I don't look it.
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Old 08-13-2007, 02:30 PM   #2
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It's not a hard and fast rule, but generally speaking, I've really had a better time with partners into their 30's/40's. I think part of it is just getting comfortable with yourself and expressing desire and fantasies more openly.
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Old 08-13-2007, 03:09 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by TheSadeianLinguist View Post
It's not a hard and fast rule, but generally speaking, I've really had a better time with partners into their 30's/40's. I think part of it is just getting comfortable with yourself and expressing desire and fantasies more openly.
I have to agree there... and that it's not a hard and fast rule, but it is in general the case. The more you grow and come to a peace with who you are, what you want, your body, what turns you on, the more confident you are, the more confident a lover you can be knowing what you want, what you want to do, who you want to be with, etc.

And Rebecca, I'm sorry... lol, don't know what to tell you there.

Maybe you should build yourself a really small replica room that you can go into and pretend you just grew out of it. It's a guess though, not really my area... lol
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Old 08-13-2007, 03:23 PM   #4
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Default The Trough

I've heard it referred to as The Trough, an age from 28 to 34 where a lot of weightgain happens... if we were in a more traditional society, all this production of hormones and flesh would be going into a yearly baby; instead it gets recycled into wilder and wilder ultracurvaceousness, the body putting forth powerful visual and scent cues to surrounding males begging for insemination... whereas the intellectual faculties try to concern themselves with others matters... thus the simmering white-hot sexy-librarian gaze...
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Old 08-13-2007, 05:05 PM   #5
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...Maybe you should build yourself a really small replica room that you can go into and pretend you just grew out of it. It's a guess though, not really my area... lol
OMG this is effing hilarious. I wish I could rep you! (it won't let me).


Rebecca, excellent post. And I admire your desire to share something so personal (and, let's face it - erotic!)

I changed a lot in my 30s but that's when I discovered FAs - so I can't say if that was a big part of the reason. I also started socializing online in my late 30s and because of that (constant) attention I found myself in a 24/7 aroused state which was a constant distraction. At least you zone in and out.
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Old 08-13-2007, 10:50 PM   #6
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Try being 19 and in your freshman year of college, and the all-you-can eat buffet is making BBW's out of every visible co-ed....now concentrate on your structural dynamics lecture!

Oh the agony!
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Old 08-13-2007, 11:04 PM   #7
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Try being 19 and in your freshman year of college, and the all-you-can eat buffet is making BBW's out of every visible co-ed....now concentrate on your structural dynamics lecture!

Oh the agony!
It isn't my fault you didn't wait for me to turn 30!
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Old 08-14-2007, 06:14 AM   #8
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Its a beautiful thing especially knowing you are truly free to live out your life, your own decisions, desires, wants and needs all playing a factor.
Sensing, knowing only your opinions matter first and foremost.
It's a welcome distraction to me when I zone out from time to time as well.
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Old 08-14-2007, 07:51 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Rebecca View Post
You always hear that women hit their sexual peaks in their 30s.
Well I turned 50 a few months ago, and my husband is a mere youth of 48, but so far it's never been better. Art had a physical exam earlier this year and he said that among the many questions the doctor asked him, one was about any signs of erectile disfunction. I almost spit out my coffee when Art said he told the doctor matter-of-factly, "None at all, thanks to the woman I married." Woo hoo! I've always been very sensual and had a high sex drive, especially where foreplay is concerned, and I can count on at least a full-body massage every night. If I'm indication, the 30s were good, but it just keep getting better. Purrrrr.
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Old 08-16-2007, 08:02 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Jay West Coast View Post
Try being 19 and in your freshman year of college, and the all-you-can eat buffet is making BBW's out of every visible co-ed....now concentrate on your structural dynamics lecture!

Oh the agony!
preach it brother, it's worse in a cooking school, over half the female student body omg but alas I stay loyal and look from a distance ^_^
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Old 08-17-2007, 06:11 PM   #11
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Default i agree

i agree with Sue, wait til you hit your 40s, i aways had a good sex drive, but man, i hit 40 and the stupid hormones...welll, just stupid you know...lol
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Old 08-19-2007, 03:20 PM   #12
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I always tell younger women that complain about not enjoying sex..... just wait until your thirties. Sex takes on a whole new meaning then....
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Old 08-19-2007, 04:12 PM   #13
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Or they can wait as long as it takes to say, "Hey, Jackhammer, how about we go about it this way?" Communicado = happy vaginas.
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Old 08-19-2007, 04:42 PM   #14
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I've had good and bad sexual experiences over the years. I've found it easier to communicate with some of my lovers than others. But that really isn't what I meant with this thread.

It isn't the quality I'm talking about (and to be honest, given my record I've had a suspiciously good number of wonderful lovers), it's the sudden upswing in my sex drive. It's always been high but lately I've been pretty insatiable.

Again, I'm not complaining .

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Or they can wait as long as it takes to say, "Hey, Jackhammer, how about we go about it this way?" Communicado = happy vaginas.
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Old 08-19-2007, 09:27 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Rebecca View Post
I've had good and bad sexual experiences over the years. I've found it easier to communicate with some of my lovers than others. But that really isn't what I meant with this thread.

It isn't the quality I'm talking about (and to be honest, given my record I've had a suspiciously good number of wonderful lovers), it's the sudden upswing in my sex drive. It's always been high but lately I've been pretty insatiable.

Again, I'm not complaining .
Wanna lend some of that sexdrive to me? Much like my old Chevy, my sexdrive has crapped out lately. :[
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It seems rather elitist to me for people who may have degrees in this field feel that they, because they've studied it, they somehow know better than the parents.
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Originally Posted by Jon Stewart
Yes, in the Brownback family we teach that boys have a god stick and girls have a shame cave.
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Old 08-21-2007, 05:02 PM   #16
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I really hope this is a myth because I'm going to implode in a few years if not.

I've never been satiated. Ever. So unless more there's more incoming, I really don't need more outgoing, you know?

Btw, I'm IN LOVE with AnnMarie's little house idea. OMG, too fun. Would be an incredible photoset actually...
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