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Old 10-11-2005, 09:08 AM   #1
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Default "...that fat cow, Kate Winslet."

It's a quote pulled from an article in the Sept 28 issue of The Onion.
It cracked me up not only in its satire on diet insanity but also in his "guyspeak" way of expressing it.

I'm new to link posting, so i hope this works.


http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40998
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Old 10-11-2005, 10:59 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Egbert Souse
It's a quote pulled from an article in the Sept 28 issue of The Onion.
It cracked me up not only in its satire on diet insanity but also in his "guyspeak" way of expressing it.
For some odd reason, Kate Winslet has always been in the crosshairs of the tabloid fat police even though she's hardly fat nor even plump. Same goes for another old favorite of mine, Kelly McGillis, who some of the tabloid press called "Kelly McBelly." Anyway, those who are Kate Winslet fans have probably seen that really weird movie of hers where she played a young woman who is being de-programmed from some religious obsession. Some scenes in that movie allow viewers to determine for themselves whether she is fat or not, anywhere.
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Old 10-11-2005, 11:12 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Webmaster
those who are Kate Winslet fans have probably seen that really weird movie of hers where she played a young woman who is being de-programmed from some religious obsession. Some scenes in that movie allow viewers to determine for themselves whether she is fat or not, anywhere.
not to mention, in Eternal Sunshine... (one of my all time favorites) in which she is obviously not fat. One scene has her going around the apartment, getting dressed, and her mid-section is slightly exposed. Unless it was digitally touched, (which i highly doubt) her stomach is as flat as the next hollywood starlet.

she just has a better ass than most.
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Old 10-11-2005, 12:06 PM   #4
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I'd consider The Onion "tabloid press" in the same sense that, say, Mad Magazine is and, consequently, i detected a big chunk of the author's tongue in his cheek with his discription of Kate.

Call it optimistic bliss but i prefer to think of the piece as semi-fat positive.
At the very least, his line, "Never get so thin that you lose your tits" will likely be plagiarized by this writer at some future point.
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Old 10-11-2005, 05:19 PM   #5
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Every time I hear about Kate Winslet's struggle with her weight, I get unjustifiably excited. I DO wish the media would stop hyping it...
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Old 10-13-2005, 12:36 AM   #6
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this is spectacular. i love the onion. this is really one of the best peices i've seen in the onion in months. "If your ass resembles your scapula, you are in the danger zone. That kind of thing is not attractive..."

beautiful!
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Old 10-13-2005, 05:21 AM   #7
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.
Thinking i might have misread the thing, i went back and reread it and still found it hilarious with a number of highly quotable lines.

I'm glad you got a laugh from it.
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Old 10-13-2005, 05:29 AM   #8
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Of course the Onion is funny, if far from reliable. Entertaining for a laugh.
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Old 10-13-2005, 05:37 AM   #9
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It's realllly frustrating that Hollywood pushes unrealistic ideals of feminine beauty, and probably always will, so we need to find our small victories where we can. Now it looks like Camryn Mannheim and Sarah Rue have lost a lot of weight. I only considered Sarah Rue (Less Than Perfect) an "honorary" BBW, because she wasn't fat fat at all, but Hollywood thought she was. Well, Sarah Rue is skinny as a rail now. Yikes!


Maybe it's only the camera angle, or maybe Camryn Mannheim temporarily lost weight for her role in Dark Water but she looks much thinner these days. She set such a positive example "for the fat girls" but I suppose if actresses even as talented as Camryn Mannheim want to stay in front of the camera, they are under tremendous pressure to fit in. Sigh.


One very talented actress who has transcended the Hollywood size barrier is Conchata Ferrell. She's usually in supporting roles, but she sure spices up everything she's in!


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Old 10-13-2005, 08:11 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Australian Lord
Of course the Onion is funny, if far from reliable. Entertaining for a laugh.
I dunno, A-Lord. If you find The Onion funny, I'd say it's quite reliable in serving its purpose.

(It's a parody paper.) (And a good one.) (Better than Landover Baptist Church, even.)

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Old 10-13-2005, 10:25 AM   #11
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Lighten up, BB.

It took me 52 minutes to get to work this morning, a trip that should take about 20 minutes.
Every time i felt the Rush Hour Crabbies starting to descend upon me, though, i'd think of the Onion being "far from reliable" and i'd go all hysterical again.

A wonderful way to start the day and a great way to survive rush hour.
Thanks, A.L.!
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Old 10-13-2005, 11:51 AM   #12
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far from reliable?

the onion is america's finest news source.
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Old 10-13-2005, 01:38 PM   #13
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The only Onion article to get me really laughing lately was the "Rumsfeld makes a suprise vist to his wife's vagina" story. But the historical ones always get me laughing
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Old 10-13-2005, 03:44 PM   #14
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I get most of my news right here.
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Old 10-13-2005, 04:36 PM   #15
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CNN or BBC. Now thats hardcore news.
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Old 10-13-2005, 04:46 PM   #16
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It really isn't worth it to get hung up about the guy's rhetoric regarding Kate Winslet. The author's article is about how being slightly round is better than being anorexic. Kate Winslet's name only comes up in one sentence at the end of the story. Besides, the publication is The Onion, which is meant to be funny and not something for people to take seriously.
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Old 10-13-2005, 05:27 PM   #17
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Camryn Manheim went on a diet several years ago. She's not someone to look to as a fat acceptance role model anymore.
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Old 10-13-2005, 06:53 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NFA
Camryn Manheim went on a diet several years ago. She's not someone to look to as a fat acceptance role model anymore.
Camryn Manheim is a vibrant, productive, articulate human being who also happens to be fat. She quietly lost a few pounds for whatever private reasons there may have been and then simply went on with her life sans the ususal "I-was-miserable" hoopla. Camryn's still very much a role model for me as a fat woman, regardless of her dieting history.
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Old 10-13-2005, 10:15 PM   #19
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Read my post. I said she wasn't a fat acceptance role model. I'm sure all the fat women who hate their bodies are happy to have another "role model" for the team, but that wasn't what I was talking about.
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