Artical: 50 Things She Wishes You Knew

[BlondeAmbition]

50 Things She Wishes You Knew Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand
By: Lisa Jones

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

(Actual artical: http://www.menshealth.com/cda/articl...s%20You%20Knew )


For the most, part it's all very true true truuuuue. However, I strongly disagree with #2 (hey, I don't judge), #19 (I do not, have not and will never own a Debbie Gibson CD. EVER.) and #30 (there are far cooler people out there to envy than Madonna).

[JMCGB]

So glad to hear you dont and wont ever own a Debbie Gibson cd!!!

[Dr. Feelgood]

I'm not sure about # 39, either. Once, during that blissful afterglow, my wife asked me what I was thinking about. I answered (truthfully), "Etruscan pottery." I should, of course, have said, "How much I love you," but I was much younger then.

[southernfa]

7a. If you are going to say "You look fantastic"; remember to actually look first...
7b. There is no right answer to "Does this make me look fat?"

[southernfa]

Originally Posted by Dr. Feelgood

I'm not sure about # 39, either. Once, during that blissful afterglow, my wife asked me what I was thinking about. I answered (truthfully), "Etruscan pottery." I should, of course, have said, "How much I love you," but I was much younger then.

Oh that's bad...

[mottiemushroom]

I love this list so much i am gonna print it out & give it to my sons, so they know how to treat their partners

[BlondeAmbition]

Originally Posted by Dr. Feelgood

I'm not sure about # 39, either. Once, during that blissful afterglow, my wife asked me what I was thinking about. I answered (truthfully), "Etruscan pottery." I should, of course, have said, "How much I love you," but I was much younger then.

Either way, according to #1, it still doesn't count.

[k1009]

Very few things on that list apply to me. Hand holding, sweaty mean, Debbie Gibson, Madonna envy? I could go on.

If I wrote my own list it would be short and to the point:

1. Try weird foods with me.
2. Don't sneer when I tell you I want to travel to Syria.
3. Let me pay for dinner if I say I want to pay. Disagree with me once and then let it go, don't make a show and dance about it.
4. Buy me flowers, interesting flowers, look for kangaroo paw and unusual orchards.
5. Hog the bed and die.

[AnnMarie]

Only 14 of them apply to me - with my own edits in bold.

1. I may leave if you lie.
2. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
3. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
4. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you. (well, happy... not turned on)
5. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
6. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
7. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
8. I need to hear how you feel about me. (not often, but occasionally is nice.)
9. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
10. I like some porn.
11. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
12. It's cheating if you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
13. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
14. I remember (almost) everything about our relationship.

[activistfatgirl]

For a moment, I find lists like this cute, and then I usually end up seething in RAGE. I can't stand the human experience--or the feelings of all members of one gender summed up this way. It's fun but also has this edge of "this is the norm for female behavior, all women are like this" that makes me feel trapped in the ole gender binary.

These lists have always, always, always, made me feel even more like the unique little snowflake woman I am, so I guess that's good.

Now, I need a puking smiley.


P.S. BlondeA, I'm not knocking you in the least. I think it's cute, glad you posted it. Just wanted to throw out my reaction.

P.P.S. Debbie Gibson is nothing. It's all about Tiffany.

[furious styles]

Originally Posted by activistfatgirl

For a moment, I find lists like this cute, and then I usually end up seething in RAGE. I can't stand the human experience--or the feelings of all members of one gender summed up this way. It's fun but also has this edge of "this is the norm for female behavior, all women are like this" that makes me feel trapped in the ole gender binary.

These lists have always, always, always, made me feel even more like the unique little snowflake woman I am, so I guess that's good.

Now, I need a puking smiley.


P.S. BlondeA, I'm not knocking you in the least. I think it's cute, glad you posted it. Just wanted to throw out my reaction.

P.P.S. Debbie Gibson is nothing. It's all about Tiffany.

.

[BlondeAmbition]

Originally Posted by activistfatgirl

P.S. BlondeA, I'm not knocking you in the least. I think it's cute, glad you posted it. Just wanted to throw out my reaction.

P.P.S. Debbie Gibson is nothing. It's all about Tiffany.

No worries AFT. I know that I have a Tiffany tape hidden away somewhere...

[furious styles]

"play artist tiffany"

....

"play artist michael bolton"

[cold comfort]

Originally Posted by mfdoom

"play artist tiffany"

....

"play artist michael bolton"

PLAY ARTIST KORN!

[BlondeAmbition]

Originally Posted by mfdoom

"play artist tiffany"

....

"play artist michael bolton"

Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.

Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?

Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

[furious styles]

Originally Posted by cold comfort

PLAY ARTIST KORN!

buahahaha

Originally Posted by BlondeAmbition

Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.

Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?

Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

mmm. one of the greatest works of comedy in the history of the universe.

i told those fudgepackers i liked michael bolton's music.

[bmann0413]

Hey, I'm young and inexpericenced... How am I supposed to know this stuff?! lol

[Suze]

Stuff like this makes me feel like a weirdo because I seldom can relate to any of it. It's a lot on that list I'm fine without. I'm pretty unromantic!

[Ernest Nagel]

Originally Posted by activistfatgirl

For a moment, I find lists like this cute, and then I usually end up seething in RAGE. I can't stand the human experience--or the feelings of all members of one gender summed up this way. It's fun but also has this edge of "this is the norm for female behavior, all women are like this" that makes me feel trapped in the ole gender binary.

These lists have always, always, always, made me feel even more like the unique little snowflake woman I am, so I guess that's good.

Now, I need a puking smiley.


P.S. BlondeA, I'm not knocking you in the least. I think it's cute, glad you posted it. Just wanted to throw out my reaction.

P.P.S. Debbie Gibson is nothing. It's all about Tiffany.

Well said, AFG! I think lists and labels are nature's way of reining in our thoughts; you know, so our minds don't become too broad or accepting. Easy definitions and short answers are perfect for shutting down inquiry, too. We don't really NEED to know anything. We just need to THINK we know everything that's important.

The list is cute, Blonde. Living with somebody that could exist exclusively inside of it, or any other static description for that matter? Um, no thanks!

[Tooz]

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

Yes.

Also, the lying thing. Actually, a lot of these apply.

[Ample Pie]

3. I will leave if you lie. (Fool me once....etc)

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I smile simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me. (Sometimes)

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants. (rock stars and my Latin professor)

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies. (from time to time, sure)

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do. (well, it's all in HOW you do it)

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand. (so long as it doesn't get too sweaty or uncomfortable)

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving. (well, surprises are fun and bring a lot of joy; they tell me you're thinking of me. I dunno about the rest)

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points. (meh, months nothing, but do try to remember important dates. I'll buy you a calendar.)

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship. (well, I think I do)

[Blackjack_Jeeves]

50 Retorts from a Male's Perspective

1. But Honey, that's when I mean it most!

2. Real women still don't know how.

3. I will leave if you lie still.

4. You are CUTER in the same raglan-sleeved t-shirt.

5. As long as it's mine...

~~Just some examples of possible male responses. Some deserve a slap or a night on a sofa, I'm sure. I thought it would be fun to have someone respond to them, but, I doubt my creativity would last all 50.

[AnnMarie]

Originally Posted by activistfatgirl

For a moment, I find lists like this cute, and then I usually end up seething in RAGE. I can't stand the human experience--or the feelings of all members of one gender summed up this way. It's fun but also has this edge of "this is the norm for female behavior, all women are like this" that makes me feel trapped in the ole gender binary.

These lists have always, always, always, made me feel even more like the unique little snowflake woman I am, so I guess that's good.

Now, I need a puking smiley.


P.S. BlondeA, I'm not knocking you in the least. I think it's cute, glad you posted it. Just wanted to throw out my reaction.

P.P.S. Debbie Gibson is nothing. It's all about Tiffany.

Yup, I feel exactly the same - the reason I pulled out the fraction that would actually apply to me in some sense. It makes my skin crawl that men read these and could think that's how all of us operate at all times. Eep.

And same regards to BA - no problem with the post, just that general feeling about the way the dynamic is established.

Originally Posted by bmann0413

Hey, I'm young and inexperienced... How am I supposed to know this stuff?! lol

See man, that's the thing I'm tellin' ya. You're supposed to know already somehow!
Like if you ever ask what you've done wrong you get the standard: "Oh, you know what you did!" You're just supposed to be clairvoyant or something...
.
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JUUUUST KIDDING EVERYONE!

*slowly backs away, turns around, and flees in terror*

[CleverBomb]

...is relevant to your interests:
50 Ways

-Rusty