children and the spectacle that is me.

[MissToodles]

I am currently enrolled in an education class where I tutor a child once a week. Today was my first day on the job. I'm having a problem with the kids. They can't get past my size. Now I'm not upset that they giggle or laugh because children like to make fun of what is considered different. I had a job last year working with the same age group and I didn't really have this issue. This is affecting the ability to tutor properly because they seem to be distracted by me and there isn't really any other supervision in the place. I feel my presence is a distraction to them and I cannot effectively tutor. Any suggestions are most welcomed!

[AnnMarie]

Wow, I don't think I have much experience here, but my first thought may be obvious and you probably already tried it.

I would just take the time to bring it up with them, let them ask some questions, and get it out of the way so it's not such a "giggle" issue. I realize this may cause some embarassing questions, or tension (for sure), but it seems to me that once they know that you KNOW you are different, and that it's ok that you're different - maybe it just won't be such a big deal to them? Seems that a good way to diffuse issues with kids is to make it into a non-issue by embracing the issue.

Good luck with it, and whatever tool you use, I'm sure it will come in handy in the future as well... I can imagine this won't be the last time you're faced with a similar thing, and I admire you GREATLY for throwing yourself into the middle of what many fatties consider a scary ground - kids! LOL

[Boteroesque Babe]

AnnMarie has said it better than I could.

I tutored grade-schoolers for a semester in '99, and while giving a lesson around a crowded table, I'd occasionally look down to find a kid poking my hip exploratorily. If it didn't make me feel violated, I'd let it happen. It helps to let them know you're okay with your body. Sometimes all you need to do is demystify it.

Any idea what was different about the situation last year?

[Aliena]

I think Ann Marie has a great idea...take a few minutes before the class and talk about it. Maybe a five-minute-little-kid-lesson-on-diversity type thing would get them back into the program. It's ashame that parents can't do this in and on their own time/home, but what can one do, but their jobs for them?

I am sorry that your having these problems, but like the above poster, I admire your strength and valour to teach our youth of today and tomorrow. It's not a job that I could do, so I admire those who can!

[BBW Betty]

Originally Posted by MissToodles

I am currently enrolled in an education class where I tutor a child once a week. Today was my first day on the job. I'm having a problem with the kids. They can't get past my size. Now I'm not upset that they giggle or laugh because children like to make fun of what is considered different. I had a job last year working with the same age group and I didn't really have this issue. This is affecting the ability to tutor properly because they seem to be distracted by me and there isn't really any other supervision in the place. I feel my presence is a distraction to them and I cannot effectively tutor. Any suggestions are most welcomed!

How old are these kids? I spent 13 years working with kids: six years substitute teaching in public schools, and another seven years teaching in residential treatment facilities for kids with behavior disorders and/ or legal troubles. Very few kids ever even mentioned my weight. Those that did had significant insecurity issues, and a few were just curious. I think most of them just accepted it was part of me, and you move on. My high schoolers even knew when I was trying to diet, because I was required to eat lunch with them.

I can't really put into words how I addressed it, except to make it a non-issue; be honest about questions they have, as long as you don't cross important "boundaries." I even used weight-related issues in Social Skills discussions a few time, just to role model the idea that everyone has issues, and to show that it's how you deal that counts. Good luck, and hope this helps.

[MissToodles]

We're tutoring grade school children but in less than a year, I'm teaching middle or high school students. I did not want to tutor kids so young, but my professor is forcing us to do this age group. I forgot to mention my hair is a really bright unnatural red.

My job last year was a lot more structured and they were constantly occupied. This year, they have each other to distract and less adult supervision. This was my first time and I am an unknown. I didn't make an issue out of it. I was going to make a joke about myself in my rudimentary Spanish to lighten the mood. I decide aganist it.

I feel like I cannot connect to children so young and I'm trying but it just doesn't work for me. I jibe better with the older ones. Nevertheless, it's a class requirement and I want to do the best I can.

I found the older kids will make fun of you but they see your size as a flaw. This "flaw" can be an asset, it calms them down because you seem more human and less of a drone.

[Jes]

i've never been in this situation, but I think everyone's ideas are good. I'd add, if you have the time to devote to it, maybe after talking about YOU, you can turn this back on the kids. Mention how great diversity is, and why, and then have every kid, or a sampling of them, come up with a reason why he/she is different, and how that adds to the group.

(keep in mind, however, that my few experiences with group teaching--at the college level-- were disastrous. Like a ship that was sinking, but BURNING while it was sinking)

[MissToodles]

Originally Posted by Jes

i've never been in this situation, but I think everyone's ideas are good. I'd add, if you have the time to devote to it, maybe after talking about YOU, you can turn this back on the kids. Mention how great diversity is, and why, and then have every kid, or a sampling of them, come up with a reason why he/she is different, and how that adds to the group.

(keep in mind, however, that my few experiences with group teaching--at the college level-- were disastrous. Like a ship that was sinking, but BURNING while it was sinking)

I forgot to mention I work with the same kid week after week. But his peers are running amok everywhere! I know if they don't behave, I can sit on them (JOKE)

[Tad]

Sounds like a tough job!

To me it has always seemed to me that teaching (or tutoring) young children must be rather like herding cats. As the parent of a seven year old I can attest that kids that age have not, for the most part, developed much goal orientation. That is they have a very hard time remembering the long term goal that should guide their short term actions.

On the other hand, by this age they have usually internalized fairly well the basic rules of conduct and that they should be following them. Part of that is that they like to be recognized for what they can do. Also they can focus very intently on what they are doing, once they are doing it.

It is almost impossible to drive a cat to a particular place. But you can pretty reliably tempt them there by dragging a string along the floor for them to chase. It seems to me that you might need the same strategy. That is, distract them from goofing around and chatting, then lead them to what you want them to do.

I don’t know what you are tutoring them in, but from what you wrote it sounds like they are probably native Spanish speakers, so I’m going to guess that you are supposed to be helping them with English. If this is the case, maybe you can start by focusing their attention on you, by asking them to answer questions about you in English. “Who can tell me, in english, what color my hair is? Very good. Now, can someone tell me if it is bright red, or more brown-red. Great! Now, can you write down in english the names of five other things that are bright red?” or (draw some shapes on the board) “Which of these shapes do I look most like? Remember, hands up! This one? Do you remember what we call this shape? Good, now who can give me the name of this shape? How about that one? Who can tell me a few things that have these shapes, I’ll write the suggestions down under the shapes. Now I want you to draw each of these shapes, write its name in english, then draw a picture of something that uses that shape, and write down its name too.”

Or something like that. Since you are a distraction, use that to your advantage to bring their attention onto you, then from their try to guide them onto their work.

Of course, if it is more like they all have their homework and you have to go around to them one by one, that does not work so well. But perhaps you could still do the same sort of beginning, let them focus on you, give you some answers, get some recognition—then send them to their work and you can walk around.

I don’t know if any of this makes any sense given your actual reality, but I hope if nothing else it will spark some ideas of your own.

Regards;

-Ed

[BBW Betty]

Originally Posted by MissToodles

. I was going to make a joke about myself in my rudimentary Spanish to lighten the mood. I decide aganist it.

I feel like I cannot connect to children so young and I'm trying but it just doesn't work for me. I jibe better with the older ones. Nevertheless, it's a class requirement and I want to do the best I can.

I found the older kids will make fun of you but they see your size as a flaw. This "flaw" can be an asset, it calms them down because you seem more human and less of a drone.

I agree with your stragety so far. It sounds like it's more a problem of the general atmosphere. Is there a teacher or other authority in the room?

BTW, younger kids are always tougher, IMO. Needier, shorter attention spans, etc. I've always had a lot of respect for elementary teachers. Hang in there, you'll make it.

Betty

[missaf]

I've found that answering questions, getting them to expose their curiousity to the air, so to speak, and letting the fascination have an answer is the best way to work with kids. When I put kids in front of their parents to sing in a choir setting, letting them wave and say him to mom and dad before they try to concentrate on singing always works. That way they've had theirconcern addressed (Look at me, Mom!) and can get down to business

[MissToodles]

They were short staffed on Monday, so I hope things will get better.

I tutor one person but my professor expects us to tutor them in reading, the children want us to help them with homework. It's not very well organized and I'm under the gun. I figure they will get used to me, become another fixture. There is a woman who works there whom is around my size, if they can accept her, they can certainly accept me or at least tolerate me.

I can't wait for this experience to be over because there are many reasons I don't want to teach elementary school!

[waitingforsuperman]

i'm sure at least one of these kids has a mom your size. if it's mostly confined to giggling, and they aren't openly making fun of you for being fat, it seems likely to me that your hair would be creating most of the giggles...

[MissToodles]

Nope, it was open season on my body. What can you do? I ignored it as I felt it was the best thing to do at the time. I've passed by the Salvation Army other days at pick up hour. There were some pretty hefty size mommas milling about, that's for sure.

[BBW Betty]

Well, Miss Toodles, it's in small Wisconson towns, too. I was substitue teaching for a kindergarten teacher today, and had recess duty. One little girl looked at me and said, "You're fat!" I told her yes, and that's just part of what makes me, me. And then we started listing ways she and I are different: hair length, skin tone, clothes, nail polish. She went back to the swing, and not another word was said.

Don't let them get you down. It's a really tough age to work with. Maybe you can be the size positive role model they need; maybe there are some future FAs among those kids.