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Old 05-02-2008, 06:53 PM   #1
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Default What does DIMs and the BHM/FFA Board Mean to you?

Ok so, what does this place/board mean to you? Where do you feel you fit into this community as a whole?

Alrighty I'll start off first. This board means a lot to me. It allowed me to connect with women who have the same preferences I do and interact with the men I find attractive. I've had many different feelings about where I fit into the community as a whole over the years. I've felt that I was hanging around on the fringe, however, now I see that there are many areas of the community as a whole that I can contribute to, however, the BHM/FFA board will always be home base.
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Old 05-02-2008, 07:03 PM   #2
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First off, I think this is a great thread and I would like to recommend it become a "sticky".

Second, what does the BHM/FFA Board in the community of DIMs mean to me?

Its acceptance of a fat community of men. Talking as a BHM outside of this board on DIMs is like yelling "Hello" in a stadium of FAs and BBWs, it's just background noise and no one really hears you. It's not intentional but the result is the same, you feel like you just don't fit in.

So this place gives me a place to contribute to the DIMs community.

Thanks =)
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Old 05-02-2008, 07:10 PM   #3
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And there ya go, it's a sticky...

I think it'll be a good thing.
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Old 05-02-2008, 07:13 PM   #4
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Hoooooray!
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Old 05-02-2008, 08:00 PM   #5
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I'm terrible at putting things like this into words, but here goes.........

Dims...the boards and chat...have been my sanity maintenance device for the last 6 years or so. It is my link to the rest of the world. It not only gives me a chance to interact with people...it gives me the chance to interact with people who "get" the issues that people of size face...and a place where I can express myself with out my thoughts and opinions immediately being discounted due to my size. I'd be farther off the deep end than I am without it.

Like I said, I'm terrible at this stuff.
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Old 05-02-2008, 08:03 PM   #6
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Not terrible at all, in fact I think it's great to be able to get these feelings out in the open.
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Old 05-02-2008, 08:11 PM   #7
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I have to say I agree with Chris2, with me not roaming the earth all the time anymore, this is a nice place to chat with like minded folks.
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Old 05-02-2008, 09:16 PM   #8
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Default Bhm/ffa

I think ChrisVersion2 has a good point about
BHM/FA not even being noticed if it were not
a separate board. I also enjoy reading about
what the FFA gals are thinking.
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Old 05-02-2008, 10:15 PM   #9
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When I first stumbled on Dimensions it meant I wasn't alone. It meant there wasn't something wrong with me when I got butterflies in my stomach every time a handsome 400 lb guy crossed my path.

When I lurked for years I think I benefitted from reading other people's experiences and opinions, and it prepared me to have a better understanding of what I was getting myself into by dating a SSBHM. I continued to feel like I wasn't alone. I didn't think I needed to post until a big issue was on my mind, and in a way I regret not posting sooner.

Now that I've started posting, I feel a sense of community here. We all share something in common that outsiders would not readily be able to understand (and many of us did not understand coming into this either I'm sure). I feel like this is a place for me to learn and grow as an FFA. And the more I engage, read and think here, the better I understand myself and the guy I plan on spending my life with. And of course sometimes it's just fun to be here and talk about things like how much I love his chunky thighs.

Being an FFA is an important part of who I am, and it has been, since long before I even came here or knew that term. But of course it's not the only thing that defines me or takes up my time or commitment. My hope is that this place holds at least a little meaning for everyone who needs it to, but that we also make sure not to put "all our eggs in one basket" and get out there and enjoy the "real world" and the other aspects of our lives too.
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Old 05-03-2008, 12:36 AM   #10
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I've expressed some of these sentiments in other threads at other times, but it's on topic here so here goes. I was always an FFA at heart, but it took me a long time (too long) to fully understand that and to learn what it meant and even that I had a "label." Before finding Dimensions, I was aware of my feelings for big men, but I was confused a lot of the time. I have struggled with guilt and some other issues and for me, finding Dimensions in general and the BHM/FFA board was a truly important moment for me. It took me a while to join and then to actively participate, but just knowing there were other women like me meant a lot to me. Once I started looking around, I began to feel better about being an FFA. And the more I've participated on the boards, the better I feel. I owe that to the other FFAs and FAs that make me feel like I am in good company by being women and men I admire and for making me see that no matter what society would have me believe, loving, caring thoughtful people often prefer partners of a larger size. And to the BHM and BBW of the boards, they have made me feel good because they are so often supportive and glad that we are here. I get really touched any time I see a BHM or BBW say they are glad there are F/FAs in the world, I really do. It has helped me with my guilt issues more than any of you can imagine. I still have work to do sometimes, but still, it really has helped me. I have really felt more like myself since finding this place, and more relaxed with myself than I have at any other time in my life. While Dims is not the end all be all of my experience, it is very much my second home. Sometimes, it is more of a home than my real one. And as for the BHM board in particular, I think it is nice to have a place where we can discuss the topics from our perspective. I get a lot out of the discussion on the main boards, but sometimes there are things that are a little different in the BHM/FFA world and it is nice to have this place to discuss them. Also, it is just nice to have camaraderie with other FFAs and with the BHM. Since we are a smaller sub group, I feel even more like this is something like a family here. Although, there are definitely FAs and BBWs from the other boards I personally feel that way about as well, it is nice to have this small, close knit BHM/FFA community too.
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Old 05-03-2008, 08:30 AM   #11
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See post below--------
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Old 05-03-2008, 08:30 AM   #12
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Hi

I think of this board as clubhouse inside a clubhouse called Dimensions. I think what I like is the mix of BHMs, FFAs and BBWs on this board focusing on the thoughts and issues of BHMs and FFAs.

There are Fat Acceptance blogs out there that could publish articles for months and never even mention Fat Men in their Fat Acceptance conversation.

This board is a safe haven

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Old 05-03-2008, 10:10 AM   #13
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I can defenitely say *DITTO* to everything the good *DR MARSHALL* has said..I always KNEW I dug fat guys, and had no one to talk to about it, I have shared about this extensively in various places on the DIMS boards. I got clean in sober in April 1996 and got into motorcycle culture, there I fell for a very handsome guy with a great big furry gorgeous gut that felt very comfortable with just a leather VEST ON yes.....just a vest and his perfect huge beer gut out for the world to see. We did stuff like go to Daytona Bike Week where they had the biggest Beer Belly contests I was so aroused, but so fearful of sharing it with anyone or even him for that matter. Cutting to the chase, I am currently dating a SSBHM and all he knows is I like to rub his belly, feel amazing in his arms, I have no desire for him to grow at all, in fact he is on the far extreme size wise for me, but I accept him as he is. His son is only 16 and also a new term i made up SSBHB (boy)..and I am kinda concerned about his size as he can barely fit in my car had trouble with mobility already/ out of breathlessness etc, ...it worries me, as does my bf, with high blood pressure and other issue. THIS IS THE place to discuss that stuff, I have talked to men on DIMS that relate to these issues as well as women that date men like I do...in other words, it is home for me and it is allllllll GOOD


as a ps...I realize I have been dating my new BF for just around 8 weeks and hardly anyone I know has met him yet, I know my birth family will freak out when they see how huge he is, and even worse how big his son is, my siblings KNOW I dig BIG GUYS, and seriously DO NOT GET IT, not my concern really, but I do know my sister put on another 50# recently and is just 5'2 and probably 180 or more, and they all talked about her behind her back to me, and I was like wow I think she looks good and is happy... ...I am glad i have a place to do that today
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Old 05-03-2008, 10:43 AM   #14
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Not as eloquently-stated as some of the others above, but Dims was the first place where I was able to freely explore/express my interest in BHM without fear of ridicule or misunderstanding.

It has also taught me a lot about size acceptance, which I never knew even existed prior to joining this site. I now speak up in many instances where, before, I likely would have remained silent. I feel stronger for having interacted in a community with most of you people.
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Old 05-04-2008, 02:10 PM   #15
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Me? I just came for the punch and pie. I was told there would be punch and pie.












... aaand more seriously - I use the forum to kill time while between other things. I like a forum that would make me feel comfortable for who I am - a reet big fat nerd.

I actually came across Fantasy Feeder first via Google (can't recall what I was searching for - being a man, probably porn(!)) and didn't like it overmuch. Found a link over here and lurked for a good while before commiting an account
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Old 05-04-2008, 06:44 PM   #16
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I come to Dims because it's like "Hot or Not" except without the materialism.


Just joking.

I come to DIMs because it's a great community in general, and offers more than just BHM/FFA stuff!!!
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Old 05-04-2008, 06:49 PM   #17
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that was a fun post to read.
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Old 05-05-2008, 11:30 AM   #18
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Dimensions, as a whole, means a lot to me in all sorts of ways. The BHM/FFA board also has some special meaning to me, but for me it is a much more limited thing.

It gets complex for me, because Iím simultaneously someone who: is attracted to fat people, has general warm fuzzy feelings about fat people, is somewhere on the scale of chubby to fat, has always felt like he was a fat person, has always felt like he was meant to be a fat person, is turned on by weight gain in myself and others, loves food, and is married to a smallish-BBW but not an admirer of fat.

Overall, Dimensions has been an oasis in my life, the place I come to relax and to revel in my fat preferences, where I can talk with others who like fat or like being fat or who are fat and would like to like or at least accept being fat. It has helped me understand my preferences, and what other people will grasp and what they wonít, and helped me grapple with some of my moral issues with being an FA. It also gives me a place where I can safely be an FA and express my appreciation for fat women, something that can be a bit fraught for me in regular life due to my wifeís feelings.

Out of all of the fat facets I have, only being chubby-to-fat really pushes me to this board. Having always felt like a fat person and always having felt like I was meant to be a fat person sort of push me this way too, but at the same time those issues are not so gender specific, they are feelings towards fat and about identity that are not really all that BHM related. Having warm and fuzzy feelings towards fat doesnít hurt my coming here, even if I were thin I might have dropped in occasionally just to lend moral support. Being married to a non-FA, in some ways says I should stay away from this board: maybe it would be easier to see myself through her eyes if I wasnít seeing BHM through FFA eyes at times. In other words, my motivation for coming to this specific board is more limited than my reasons for coming to Dimensions as a whole.

As to what this board means to me, as much as anything I find it to be a calm oasis. There does not seem to be as many emotional tempests, trollings, and emotional high-wire acts on this board. It feels a bit like going to a cinema on a hot and sticky summer day, where what is showing might be secondary to simply having somewhere cool and calm to relax for a couple of hours. What is showing may be secondary, but I still pay attention, and care, and hope that it is good.

I totally recognize that a lot of other people will have much stronger attachments to this board, and that for a lot of BHM and FFA this will be the primary place where they can explore or express their sexuality. I expect this board to mean quite a lot to many of the posters. Iím just being honest that to me it is nice, but kind of secondary to the general fat acceptance oasis that is Dimensions.
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Old 05-05-2008, 02:40 PM   #19
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Dimensions gave me the confidence to be who I am... and for that one thing, I am truly grateful. Everything else is just an added bonus
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Old 05-07-2008, 06:45 PM   #20
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Oh geez, where do I begin?
I'm going to try my hardest not to ramble on about this; short and sweet is my goal.

I've known I love fat guys my entire life, since I was probably about 3 years old. It wasn't like, a sexual attraction, I just paid more attention to guys with big bellies than I did to skinny guys. I never had the balls[proverbial balls, that is] to admit this to anyone--and I hated that I was ashamed of it. But as I've gotten older, and it turned into a definet sexual attraction, it started toreally bother me that I might never get to act out my fantasies because I was too much of a chicken-shit to admit it to anyone.

When I found Dims, I was about 12. And I think I cried. Because I wasn't the only one. My entire life, I felt like I was the only person on the planet who liked fat guys. And I'm not. And that was the most amazing rush I've ever felt; I still get it sometimes when I log on, just knowing that there's actually a community out there JUST FOR ME.
And to be celebrated as an FFA, and to be able to express my desires and thoughts on the matter; wow. I never thought I could do that, and now I get to do it whenever I feel the urge.
I am now an out and proud FFA, and all of my friends know that I love fat guys. I've got a BHM of my very own, and I can admit my love for bellies almost without blushing [almost. I still get pink].

I'm not the only one!!!! It still gets me.
This place is my joy, my acceptance, my sanity, my laughter, my relief, my fun and my family.
I've gone and rambled. Dang.

<3
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Old 05-07-2008, 07:15 PM   #21
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What I love about the BHM/FFA is the mixture of people\genders that hang out here and of course the FFAs.

I think that some real communication happens here

William




Quote:
Originally Posted by Love.Metal View Post
Oh geez, where do I begin?
I'm going to try my hardest not to ramble on about this; short and sweet is my goal.

I've known I love fat guys my entire life, since I was probably about 3 years old. It wasn't like, a sexual attraction, I just paid more attention to guys with big bellies than I did to skinny guys. I never had the balls[proverbial balls, that is] to admit this to anyone--and I hated that I was ashamed of it. But as I've gotten older, and it turned into a definet sexual attraction, it started toreally bother me that I might never get to act out my fantasies because I was too much of a chicken-shit to admit it to anyone.

When I found Dims, I was about 12. And I think I cried. Because I wasn't the only one. My entire life, I felt like I was the only person on the planet who liked fat guys. And I'm not. And that was the most amazing rush I've ever felt; I still get it sometimes when I log on, just knowing that there's actually a community out there JUST FOR ME.
And to be celebrated as an FFA, and to be able to express my desires and thoughts on the matter; wow. I never thought I could do that, and now I get to do it whenever I feel the urge.
I am now an out and proud FFA, and all of my friends know that I love fat guys. I've got a BHM of my very own, and I can admit my love for bellies almost without blushing [almost. I still get pink].

I'm not the only one!!!! It still gets me.
This place is my joy, my acceptance, my sanity, my laughter, my relief, my fun and my family.
I've gone and rambled. Dang.

<3
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Old 05-08-2008, 01:59 PM   #22
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DIMS - specifically the BHM/FFA board, has enlightened me in several ways. The best being the realization that I'm not the only FFA on the planet. I understand when the guys say they believe we are mythical creatures, for I too haven't met another FFA in the flesh. Another is helping me to make my preference known to my husband, clearly and convincingly. And, its just damn fun sometimes to hang out here.
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Old 05-11-2008, 01:33 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cammy View Post
DIMS - specifically the BHM/FFA board, has enlightened me in several ways. The best being the realization that I'm not the only FFA on the planet. I understand when the guys say they believe we are mythical creatures, for I too haven't met another FFA in the flesh. Another is helping me to make my preference known to my husband, clearly and convincingly. And, its just damn fun sometimes to hang out here.
Ditto...eloquently stated, Cammy.
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Old 05-18-2008, 09:55 PM   #24
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Talking hi

well what does it mean to me... hmmm ...welll.... i dont post much in the boards but I'm in the chat room alot (when its up.. Hurry Conrad.... Chat Addict in dire need) its helped me communicate my feelings and problems as a big man. trying to find love is hard but I have made alot of friends. I havent met many people... but the ones I have in R/L mean alot to me...


if i seem intresting.. hit me up... you wont regret it..


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"Fat" is not a four-letter word. It is an adjective, like short, tall, thin, or blonde. While society has given it a derogatory meaning, we find that identifying ourselves as "fat" is an important step in casting off the shame we have been taught to feel about our bodies. * www.naafa.org * :D
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Old 06-07-2008, 03:04 AM   #25
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To me, DIMs means acceptance, regardless of age, size or preference. BBW, BHM, FFA, FA and whatever other letter combinations there are. No judgment, no blame, no shame or explanations. You are who you are based on actions not on clothing size or lifestyle. Everyone is treated as a person not a label or a stereotype. Dimensions is an oasis.
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