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Old 07-14-2008, 10:33 AM   #1
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Default Issues that BHM that are also FA have

I'd like to ask what unique challenges this brings for you.

I for one get sick of the "I know you're fat too, but you can do better than THAT" attitude or when even your own partner asks if you are just "settling for what you can get" even though you have let them know in no uncertain terms you like their body.
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Old 07-14-2008, 10:51 AM   #2
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Oh I know exactly what you're talking about. There have been several big girls I've been with that thought that I only pretended to like there body because I'm big myself. But often it was connected with a general low self-esteem. It can be pretty hard if you can't convince a woman that you love her body...
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Old 07-14-2008, 11:01 AM   #3
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I think probably one of the more common issues is that as an FA we like BBW's. That doesn't necessarily correlate into BBW's liking FA's who are BHM.

Everyone has their own set of kinks and the stars sometimes don't align as we would like at times.
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Old 07-14-2008, 01:39 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Durin View Post
I think probably one of the more common issues is that as an FA we like BBW's. That doesn't necessarily correlate into BBW's liking FA's who are BHM.

Everyone has their own set of kinks and the stars sometimes don't align as we would like at times.
Very true....I certainly experienced some of this during adolescence. If fact some fat people specifically don't want to hang around other fat people, as they don't want to be categorized as a fatty (somehow they think if they hang around thin folk they'll instead be seen as a fat thin person, or something, I guess). Maybe also contributing to this attitude is thinking that if they are friends or partners with a fat person they'll never get thin (if that is their goal).

I also had the issue with people thinking that I was settling in the first couple of years that I was dating my wife. Eventually people realized that I was very happy with her and was not settling and gave it up, but a few people really ticked me off before then.

Also, if you were both fat growing up, the odds are good that neither of you did a lot of dating, or maybe even flirting, so the odds of one of you having the romantic skills to get the two of you together in the first place may be lower.
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Old 07-14-2008, 02:05 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Victim View Post
I'd like to ask what unique challenges this brings for you.

I for one get sick of the "I know you're fat too, but you can do better than THAT" attitude or when even your own partner asks if you are just "settling for what you can get" even though you have let them know in no uncertain terms you like their body.
I have personally been very fortuitious in this regard more recently
but i did get a bit of this when i was younger,
though it seems like i had more of an issue with the girls I was attracted to wanting to be with skinny men or skinny black men.
now that i'm older I find BBW's gravitate to me because of my height (6'5)
which is fine by me.
I do however have a much easier time picking up on skinny women because it's what I'm used to from my younger days.
But because im equally attracted to women 130-330 i have a very broad dating spectrum and have had any issues meeting women for casual encounters.
I just have had a miserable time meeting a women to fall in love with.
bah...... sorry for my rambling :P
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Old 07-14-2008, 02:18 PM   #6
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But because im equally attracted to women 130-330 i have a very broad dating spectrum and have had any issues meeting women for casual encounters.
I just have had a miserable time meeting a women to fall in love with.
bah...... sorry for my rambling :P

ditto...i have no problem with random and ongoing hookups....but the real deal.....ouch,

ya offtopic..but had to toss in my 2 cents
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Old 07-14-2008, 06:24 PM   #7
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Old 07-14-2008, 08:07 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by edx View Post
Very true....I certainly experienced some of this during adolescence. If fact some fat people specifically don't want to hang around other fat people, as they don't want to be categorized as a fatty (somehow they think if they hang around thin folk they'll instead be seen as a fat thin person, or something, I guess). Maybe also contributing to this attitude is thinking that if they are friends or partners with a fat person they'll never get thin (if that is their goal).

I also had the issue with people thinking that I was settling in the first couple of years that I was dating my wife. Eventually people realized that I was very happy with her and was not settling and gave it up, but a few people really ticked me off before then.

Also, if you were both fat growing up, the odds are good that neither of you did a lot of dating, or maybe even flirting, so the odds of one of you having the romantic skills to get the two of you together in the first place may be lower.
Yes. I had that problem dating a bhm in college. He couldn't deal with us both being fat and worried endlessly about people seeing us together in public. He didn't want people to think we were forming some sort of weird fat cabal...
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