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Old 07-08-2008, 03:11 PM   #1
altered states
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Default cupcake o.d. at Crumbs

"Crumbs" bakeries have been popping up here in NYC for a while now, but as someone loyal to Cupcake Cafe, I've avoided them. A coworker dragged me in there today finally after lunch and I bought an "Artie Lange," appropriately named after the sugar-addicted BHM sidekick on Howard Stern.

It was a vanilla cupcake covered in chocolate ice cream, with, as it turned out, mixed marshmallow/chocolate filling inside. I guess I was craving carbs, because I swallowed the entire thing in a half dozen bites during a boring phone meeting, washing it down with the morning's cold coffee. The aftermath wasn't pretty. I immediately became lightheaded and nauseous, my breathing got weird, and even my gums hurt. I think I'm over it now, but jesus christ, how much sugar are IN those damn things? Worst thing is, I just printed out an invite to a work-related party thing for tonight and the refreshments are rum punch and... cupcakes. Wonderful.

And really, it wasn't that good. Cupcake Cafe cupcakes have dense cake and buttery, rich but not-too-sweet frosting. You feel like you've had a decadent treat without wanting to vomit and check into rehab. Crumbs versions have sugary, fluffy cake that doesn't really hold up to the frosting, even though the frosting itself is light and whipped up with god knows what. Thumbs down for Crumbs.
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:14 PM   #2
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Maybe it would have been better with a Hawaiian punch.

I would always pass Crumbs during the walk to my last job. But the prices made me run away. I did discover a boston cream cupcake from Zaro's. It helped comfort me during the boring parts of that job.
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Last edited by MissToodles; 07-08-2008 at 03:22 PM. Reason: wrong place! memory lapse, old age and stuff. all the z's seem the same
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:20 PM   #3
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Maybe it would have been better with a Hawaiian punch.
And a Subutex.

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I would always pass Crumbs during the walk to my last job. But the prices made me run away.
Yeah, I thought it was a little stiff too, for basically low-quality stuff. Cupcake Cafe charges an arm and a leg, but at least you feel like you're eating something gourmetish.

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I did discover a boston cream cupcake from Zabar's. It helped comfort me during the boring parts of that job.
You worked at Zabar's? Probably my number-1 dream/nightmare job of all time!
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:24 PM   #4
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And a Subutex.



Yeah, I thought it was a little stiff too, for basically low-quality stuff. Cupcake Cafe charges an arm and a leg, but at least you feel like you're eating something gourmetish.



You worked at Zabar's? Probably my number-1 dream/nightmare job of all time!
No, I worked near a Zaro's. Okay, I edited the old post, I'm tired, I need to pay attention to grammar. Anyway, a bakery, appetizing shop slash bakery all the same thing to me.
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Old 07-08-2008, 11:41 PM   #5
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Sounds to me like some people here are fans of Artie Lange! Or at least listen to him on The Howard Stern show. (To see if I like Artie check out my profile pic)
Sorry you weren't a fan of the cupcake though!




*I just noticed that this was my 666th post! Creepy!
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Last edited by JerseyGirl07093; 07-08-2008 at 11:49 PM. Reason: 666th post!
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Old 07-09-2008, 12:46 PM   #6
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Sounds to me like some people here are fans of Artie Lange! Or at least listen to him on The Howard Stern show. (To see if I like Artie check out my profile pic)
Sorry you weren't a fan of the cupcake though!

*I just noticed that this was my 666th post! Creepy!
FIIIRE!

Yeah, I'm a Stern fanatic, listening since I was 10 and he was on NBC. I think it's totally appropriate that Artie is your 666th post. I look like a thin(ner) cousin of his, maybe. Good thing my girlfriend thinks he's cute - means I have room for lots more cupcakes before she kicks me out!
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Old 07-12-2008, 10:00 PM   #7
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I've been listening for 20+ years myself. I think Artie is the best thing to happen to the show. I thought about starting a thread about it, but since some people have such strong feelings about Howard I thought maybe it was too controversial. Hyde Park, maybe?
If I ever get the chance I'm still going to try that cupcake!
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Old 07-14-2008, 01:24 PM   #8
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I've been listening for 20+ years myself. I think Artie is the best thing to happen to the show. I thought about starting a thread about it, but since some people have such strong feelings about Howard I thought maybe it was too controversial. Hyde Park, maybe?
If I ever get the chance I'm still going to try that cupcake!
The proceeds of the Artie Lange go to various AIDS charities, so I can't really tell you not to buy it. But do yourself a favor and split it with someone, or eat half at a time. It was so sweet my mouth still puckers just thinking about it.

Howard is frighteningly fat-phobic, so I've never dared bring him up around here. One of the many reasons I dig Artie is that he's not quite as taken with scary-skinny women as Howard is.
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Old 07-14-2008, 09:51 PM   #9
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Howard is frighteningly fat-phobic, so I've never dared bring him up around here. One of the many reasons I dig Artie is that he's not quite as taken with scary-skinny women as Howard is.
That is exactly one of the main reasons I have been quiet about it around here. That aspect of him really annoys me but all in all the show has made me laugh so many times over the years.
I know there have to be more of us out there (on here). Maybe one day we can all have a Dims meet up at Crumbs for an Artie Lange cupcake!
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