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Old 05-21-2009, 11:49 AM   #1
supersoup
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Default oy, it's letters to people and things, part deuce!

you know the drill, fine dimensioners!!

need to express something, but need a venue for it? have at it here!





dear refrigerator,

i love you. you make my water icy cold in under an hour, and i'll never be able to thank you enough. so in return, i feel it is my duty to keep you svelte, so i'll be digging into those macaroni leftovers here shortly...

in love of foodz,
soup

-------------------------------------------------------------------

dear maggie and dacey,

i miss you two turds something fierce. i'm beyond elated that i've moved to massachusetts finally, but i miss you fuzzballs. bother mama for me, and make sure josh stays on his toes. a poo or two in the house ought to do the trick...

love,
manda

--------------------------------------------------------------------

dear dimensions,

i love you. thanks for the family i've made, and the giggles you've given me.

-soupy

p.s. link to the original oy thread
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Last edited by Risible; 05-21-2009 at 12:19 PM.
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:32 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KHayes666 View Post
Dear Sony,

Congrats, you've finally made a virtually indestructable video game console and the games to go with it.

A few nights ago my uncle got piss drunk....literrally, he pissed all over my DVD/VCR player, PS3 and any un-opened DVD's that were nearby.

The Godfather 3 was totally discolored in the front and the back plus it still stinks, but I popped it in and it works just fine. Same with the console itself....not a skip or a glitch at all. I even tried a movie that was caught in the stream and the system played it no problem.

Its funny how a simple drop of water could fuck up a Sega Genesis game back in the day but a PS3 can be peed on and still work fine, god bless technology :-)

-
Hayes

This a direct result of Sony's hiring R. Kelly as quality control supervisor.
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Old 05-21-2009, 12:45 PM   #3
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Dear thread,

Subscribe

Love,

FLW
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls
I'd need to jump to get into a dumpster but that doesn't mean it's worth getting into one.
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Old 05-21-2009, 01:29 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vardon_grip View Post
This a direct result of Sony's hiring R. Kelly as quality control supervisor.
So right! so wrong!
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Old 05-21-2009, 01:36 PM   #5
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Dear Greek Restaurant

Thank you. Thank you. Souvlaki is just what I needed. Plus good conversation with a great friend.


Tina

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Old 05-21-2009, 02:57 PM   #6
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Dear New Guy I have started dating:

I effing love how you randomly text messaged me today because you want to see me

Your future kinky new GF
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Old 05-21-2009, 02:59 PM   #7
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Dear GEF,

Cheating on me again? However will our e-love survive this?

You've ruined my faith in women.

Signed,

FLW
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls
I'd need to jump to get into a dumpster but that doesn't mean it's worth getting into one.
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Old 05-21-2009, 03:00 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Famouslastwords View Post
Dear GEF,

Cheating on me again? However will our e-love survive this?

You've ruined my faith in women.

Signed,

FLW
Dear FLW

Be nice to me and do my eyes real good.....and maybe I will let you watch whenever I finally sleep with the guy

Lucky gal

Your Kinky Eye Fairy
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"The longing of my heart is a fairy portrait of myself: I want to be pretty; I want to eliminate facts and fill up the gap with charms."

"See these eyes so green, I can stare for a thousand years, Colder than the moon
It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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Old 05-21-2009, 04:49 PM   #9
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Dear Computer Power Supply,

How DARE you conk out on a night I have a fucking Naxx raid scheduled? Now I have to update the old clunker and hope that it won't take it 5 hours to install Wrath of the Lich King.

Or maybe I'll get a real life and GO OUTSIDE. SO THERE.

Sternly,

Addict

PS... oh shit, I really sound pathetic there. But not as pathetic as YOU, power supply!
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:00 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
Dear FLW

Be nice to me and do my eyes real good.....and maybe I will let you watch whenever I finally sleep with the guy

Lucky gal

Your Kinky Eye Fairy
Ok. I guess ._.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls
I'd need to jump to get into a dumpster but that doesn't mean it's worth getting into one.
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:44 PM   #11
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*does FLW in the eye real good when she's not looking....*


Feel better now?
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"The longing of my heart is a fairy portrait of myself: I want to be pretty; I want to eliminate facts and fill up the gap with charms."

"See these eyes so green, I can stare for a thousand years, Colder than the moon
It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:51 PM   #12
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I'm missing an eye now!
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"Larry, like most Australians, has spent some time in prison..."-Bruce Wallaby's World of Wonder
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls
I'd need to jump to get into a dumpster but that doesn't mean it's worth getting into one.
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Old 05-21-2009, 05:53 PM   #13
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Dear FLW,


You know as well as I do that an extra orifice is every man's dream.....


Lovingly Yours that did you a HUGE favor,
Moi
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"The longing of my heart is a fairy portrait of myself: I want to be pretty; I want to eliminate facts and fill up the gap with charms."

"See these eyes so green, I can stare for a thousand years, Colder than the moon
It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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Old 05-22-2009, 06:40 AM   #14
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Dear Creepy Cafeteria Guy-

Um... Thanks for the offer to be my "toad boy". I don't really know how to respond to that. So yeah. I'm kinda glad the cafeteria closes early on the weekends so I can go elsewhere for my late night lunch.

- Samantha

PS- Thanks for the free desserts. That's pretty much the only reason I haven't completely shot you down and ignore you.

-----

Dear Favorite Person-

Hope work doesn't suck completely today. Miss you like crazy.

- Samantha

PS- I'm thinking August. Thoughts?
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Old 05-22-2009, 07:00 AM   #15
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Dear sponsor

I'm just so happy to find people who believe in me, you just boost up my self-confidence. I know it should be a hard decision because with many back injuries I could stop surfing a any moment so thank you, I was down with this annoying back injury and confidence issues and you helped me to stand up again.

Thank you
Romain
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Old 05-22-2009, 01:52 PM   #16
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Dear Wal-Mart:

Please take note that the size and color of your Equate Brand Anti-Gas Medicine softgels bears remarkable similarity to your brand of stimulant laxatives. Apparently at 5am in the morning under less than optimal lighting, my desire to relieve myself of the previous day's HealthyChoice Tortilla Soup (which should actually be called "One Dorito and 300 Beans") discomfort led to a rather splattacular event later that morning.

I will never again take that medication's patented Shitmaself(tm) technology for granted. Although the walk from my desk to the bathroom is a scant 50 steps, it may as well be the Bataan Death March when the Admiral is fixing to fire his rectal trebuchet, if you get my meaning.

This public service message brought to you by the number 2.
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Old 05-22-2009, 01:55 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Admiral_Snackbar View Post
Dear Wal-Mart:

Please take note that the size and color of your Equate Brand Anti-Gas Medicine softgels bears remarkable similarity to your brand of stimulant laxatives. Apparently at 5am in the morning under less than optimal lighting, my desire to relieve myself of the previous day's HealthyChoice Tortilla Soup (which should actually be called "One Dorito and 300 Beans") discomfort led to a rather splattacular event later that morning.

I will never again take that medication's patented Shitmaself(tm) technology for granted. Although the walk from my desk to the bathroom is a scant 50 steps, it may as well be the Bataan Death March when the Admiral is fixing to fire his rectal trebuchet, if you get my meaning.

This public service message brought to you by the number 2.

You're an ass (har har)
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Old 05-22-2009, 02:00 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Surlysomething View Post
You're an ass (har har)
If nothing else, that event earned me my own private work bathroom
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Old 05-22-2009, 02:16 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Admiral_Snackbar View Post
Dear Wal-Mart:

Please take note that the size and color of your Equate Brand Anti-Gas Medicine softgels bears remarkable similarity to your brand of stimulant laxatives. Apparently at 5am in the morning under less than optimal lighting, my desire to relieve myself of the previous day's HealthyChoice Tortilla Soup (which should actually be called "One Dorito and 300 Beans") discomfort led to a rather splattacular event later that morning.

I will never again take that medication's patented Shitmaself(tm) technology for granted. Although the walk from my desk to the bathroom is a scant 50 steps, it may as well be the Bataan Death March when the Admiral is fixing to fire his rectal trebuchet, if you get my meaning.

This public service message brought to you by the number 2.

Oh my goodness this made me laugh out loud at work and I got shushed lol
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Old 05-22-2009, 02:24 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Rowan View Post
Oh my goodness this made me laugh out loud at work and I got shushed lol
This is why I am glad I have my own office with a door and mini blinds so I can laugh ala Desi Arnaz and not get the shushment.
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Old 05-22-2009, 02:25 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Admiral_Snackbar View Post
Dear Wal-Mart:

Please take note that the size and color of your Equate Brand Anti-Gas Medicine softgels bears remarkable similarity to your brand of stimulant laxatives. Apparently at 5am in the morning under less than optimal lighting, my desire to relieve myself of the previous day's HealthyChoice Tortilla Soup (which should actually be called "One Dorito and 300 Beans") discomfort led to a rather splattacular event later that morning.

I will never again take that medication's patented Shitmaself(tm) technology for granted. Although the walk from my desk to the bathroom is a scant 50 steps, it may as well be the Bataan Death March when the Admiral is fixing to fire his rectal trebuchet, if you get my meaning.

This public service message brought to you by the number 2.
Jesus, this is hilarious shit.

Pun intended!
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"And I never wanted anything from you except everything you ever had and what was left after that too."

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Originally Posted by CastingPearls
I'd need to jump to get into a dumpster but that doesn't mean it's worth getting into one.
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Old 05-22-2009, 03:53 PM   #22
A Bolder Boulder FA
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Dear work -

Nobody works in the wine industry past 3 PM, particularly on upcoming Memorial Day weekend.

I think I'm gonna just go home already.

-C
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Old 05-22-2009, 07:16 PM   #23
Lovelyone
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Dear Friend

Friendship...look that word up in the dictionary cos I don't think you really know what that word means. I feel like you wasted my time. People warned me about you. I didn't listen to the rumors because I wanted to know you for YOU--not for the rumors that people spread about you. I accepted you into my life thinking that you were sincere and honest. I shared stories about my family and myself with you. I gave you the benefit of doubt and we became friends. We shared commonalities a had a kinship. The fact that you could so easily throw away a meaningful friendship speaks volumes about you. I was a good friend to you. I gave you comfort, encouragement, and friendship when you needed it because that is what friends do. I am sad that you decided to take that away. I do miss talking to you and I hope that life is treating you kind. Whatever it is that you are looking for, I hope that you find it (cos I think you've been looking for a very long time) Peace love and happiness to you my friend.
Take care of you,
Terri
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Old 05-22-2009, 07:27 PM   #24
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Dear House,

Please unpack yourself, hang all your own pictures...etc.

Thanks!

One damn tired fat girl
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Old 05-22-2009, 07:58 PM   #25
OneWickedAngel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Admiral_Snackbar View Post
Dear Wal-Mart:

Please take note that the size and color of your Equate Brand Anti-Gas Medicine softgels bears remarkable similarity to your brand of stimulant laxatives. Apparently at 5am in the morning under less than optimal lighting, my desire to relieve myself of the previous day's HealthyChoice Tortilla Soup (which should actually be called "One Dorito and 300 Beans") discomfort led to a rather splattacular event later that morning.

I will never again take that medication's patented Shitmaself(tm) technology for granted. Although the walk from my desk to the bathroom is a scant 50 steps, it may as well be the Bataan Death March when the Admiral is fixing to fire his rectal trebuchet, if you get my meaning.

This public service message brought to you by the number 2.
"...fixing to fire his rectal trebuchet..." The visuals! O.M.G! The visuals!

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