Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Library > Recent Additions



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-04-2017, 10:31 AM   #1
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default Hourglass

(~bhm, ~ffa, romance)

Hourglass
by Catalin



Part 1

Caroline drummed her fingertips on the counter top in front of her absentmindedly, her hands remembering all the old rhythms that her brain had long since forgotten. She smiled to herself, thinking of how nice it'd be to get behind a drumset again. Her smile quickly evaporated, however. She wasn't in college anymore- she didn't have time for such things.

"Uh, did you get that?" A low, cool voice jolted her back to her present setting. She looked up to inspect the thing that had interrupted her daydream. It was a pair of dark green eyes, accompanied by a mop of messy black hair, strong cheekbones, and a soft jawline. The eyes were questioning, but not unkind. She hadn't even noticed that someone had approached her station. Suddenly embarrassed to have not been paying attention, she lowered her eyes from his face. Her gaze settled instead on a wide round stomach encased in a smart button-down shirt. That wasn't any better.

Staring down at her own hands on the counter instead, she mumbled, "no, sorry, could you repeat that?" What was wrong with her? Sure, he was a big guy, but that was no reason to be so intimidated. She had a job to do. Recollecting her composure, she looks back up at him and listened attentively as he ordered his coffee for the second time. His attention shifted to the cafe's glass pastry display next to her station.

"I know that I probably shouldn't, but I have to ask- are those éclairs any good?" He inquired. She had to suppress a bubble of laughter; he had a look in his eyes akin to that of a child about to get into something they shouldn't.

"Yeah, actually, they're sort of a guilty pleasure of mine. Definitely worth every penny," she admitted, smiling.

"Well, you're not exactly doing a very good job of convincing me not to," he said, matching her smile, " I'll take one to go."

"Sure thing!" She rushed off to fetch him his drink and his pastry, and she sighed as she watched him exit with his order. She couldn't afford to let her manager catch her not paying attention like that. The rest of her shift passed without incident. The clock struck 4' o clock and get coworker walked in to take over her shift. Caroline grabbed her bag and rushed home.

---

She didn't gave much time- she started work at the local grocery store at 4:30. It had become her daily ritual to arrive home, change uniforms, check in on her mother, and then be back out the door. She'd graduated from the University of Miami two years ago with a degree in mechanical engineering. Immediately after graduation she had been excited and optimistic about employment prospects in her field. It had been around that time that she'd received news of her mother's multiple sclerosis diagnosis.

Caroline's two older brothers had already been deeply invested in their careers at that point and were not in positions to give everything up to support their mother. Caroline made the decision to put her professional life on hold and move back to her small hometown on the coast of Florida to look after her. It was a nice enough town, and Caroline had plenty of friends there leftover from highschool, but there was simply no demand for a mechanical engineer there.

So she took work wherever she could get it in an attempt to cover her mother's medical bills, which left her in the situation she was currently in, slipping out of her bland café uniform into her equally mundane grocery store outfit. She'd so much rather be in an engineering lab somewhere, designing something meaningful. Creating.

But she didn't have a choice. She stuck her head into her mother's room to find her fast asleep. It occurred to her how much easier things would be if her father were around. The thought only lasted a moment, however. She'd made it this far without him, she didn't need him now either.

She scooped up her bag again and was about ready to head out when the phone rang. It was the grocer. Or- it was his voice, at least. Caroline was having a hard time associating his person with the things he was saying to her. He was sorry. He hadn't wanted to. He just couldn't afford to keep her on anymore. She put the phone down. There were tears in her eyes.

She walked up to the closet in her room and pulled out a box of her old college things. Inside was a drum pad and an assortment of drumsticks. She dragged them out onto her bed and began to drum. She let her hands play without getting her mind too much involved; her heart was wanting for somewhere else.

She dreamt that night of big green eyes.
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-04-2017, 12:33 PM   #2
Clandy Caine
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 3
Clandy Caine has said some nice things
Default

This is a fantastic start: I love realistic, character-driven stories. I'm excited to read more!
Clandy Caine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2017, 07:53 PM   #3
rabbitislove
24 Carrot Magic
 
rabbitislove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Alberta
Posts: 1,410
rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!rabbitislove has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I like this a lot. Please continue!
__________________
"I am made from the dust of the stars and the oceans roll in my veins" - Neil Peart
rabbitislove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2017, 07:46 AM   #4
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default

Part 2

Caroline ran her fingers through her hair and sighed in aggravation. She had just gotten off the phone with Julia, her best friend from high school. The two of them had known each other since elementary school and had been more or less attached at the hip ever since. When Caroline had gone away for college, Julia had remained behind, working to advertise for her father's landscaping company.

Julia's advice had been the same as always- she urged Caroline to relax, and to take some time to herself. She couldn't spend her whole life working- she should try to find fun, maybe even a little romance. What Julia didn't understand was the pressure of having to devote yourself to caring for someone you loved. That being said, a week had gone by since the grocer incident and Caroline had yet to make an effort to find a replacement job. She'd spent the extra time helping her mother, drumming, and wallowing in how stuck she felt. It wasn't exactly fun, and it certainly wasn't romance. She'd start looking for work tomorrow, she told herself, once again pulling out the drum pad.

Her shift the next morning at the café had brought her an unexpected surprise in the form of soft cheeks and pleasant green eyes. She'd recognized him instantly. She couldn't quite place why his face had stuck with her, but she supposed it had something to do with how he'd surprised her with his appearance.

He ordered a coffee, the same as the week previous, and then said, " You were right about that éclair, it was fantastic. I think I'm going to have to order another." He'd remembered her too. That wasn't that surprising, she decided- he'd only seen one barista that day most likely, while she'd seen what felt like hundreds of customers. Caroline was about to move to put together his coffee when his gaze fell to her hands. She froze; she'd been tapping again, and she hadn't even realized.

"You're a drummer, aren't you," he observed, "or you tap like one, at least."

"Yeah, I played a bit in college, but not so much anymore. The tapping habit just doesn't seem to want to die." She was blushing. She could feel it.

"Actually, my bands guitarist recently left us for a better gig. I'm usually on drumset, but I know all the guitar parts and the drum rhythms aren't that hard to learn if you'd like to give it a try." His deep smooth voice made the offer seem wildly appealing.

"Oh, I don't know, I haven't so much as touched a drumset in over two years now," she responded, caught off guard and unsure as to how to react.

"Music isn't something you just forget like that, I'm sure you'd be fine. We have a deal worked out with the bar down the street, so you might even get to see some money out of it." He was so level and so confident; there was no nervousness in his voice at all.

"I... I don't know, I guess I'll have to think about it," she said.

Caroline busied herself with preparing the coffee as he continued, "Well if you decide you want to, we have practice tonight at 6. I'm Garret, by the way." He was leaning over the counter towards her, and his broad belly pushing into the marbled counter edge kept catching her eye.

"Caroline," she said, gesturing at her name tag, "nice to meet you Garret." She handed him his drink and éclair, he gave her the address they were rehearsing at, and then he was on his way. For whatever reason, she couldn't keep herself from watching his plush behind as he moved back through the shop and out the door.

She blinked. She couldn't possibly- responsible adults don't take care of their families by performing at bars. What would her brother James, the lawyer, think? Or Simon, the doctor? They were contributing their shares of covering the medical bills, and she'd sworn to contribute hers as well while looking after their mother.

---

It was 5:30 and there she was, in her mother's old sedan with her drumsticks in her bag. She'd made her brother dinner and then her feet had led her right out the door. She couldn't quite justify it to herself so she tried not to think about it. It was simply, really- she couldn't stand sitting long hours behind a cashier's box. She needed to create, and music was her outlet.

The band welcomed her warmly, and introductions were quickly made before they began to warm up. There was David, the lead singer, a slim blonde-haired man who looked to be approximately Caroline's age. On the bass guitar was a somewhat younger girl named Kayla, and on the keyboard was a shy-looking guy named Shaun whom Caroline later learned to be gay. Then, of course, there was Garret on the electric guitar. This was the first time she had gotten to see him without the counter between them. He looked to be maybe two or three years older than Caroline. He was heavy, but he wasn't enormous, and he wasn't sloppy either. He was tall enough to be propionate; Caroline guessed him to be in the neighborhood of 6 feet tall and weighing maybe 250 lbs. He dressed well, and had his hair in that effortless messy-on-purpose style. And, of course, there were those deep green eyes of his.

Rehearsal ran smoothly, and Caroline surprised herself by picking up most of the rhythms fairly quickly. They had to break a few times to work with her or Garret on their new parts, but overall she felt pleased with herself at the rehearsal's conclusion. As the others began to pack up equipment and clear out, Caroline remained seated at the drums to work on a particularly tricky piece of the music that had been giving her trouble. She was dimly aware that someone was still in the room with her, but was startled anyway when Garret pulled up a chair next to her behind the drumset.

He laid a hand on hers gently, and she handed him the drumsticks. He began to gracefully demonstrate the part without saying a word to her. For the first time, he seemed almost shy. He was so close she thought she could feel his body heat in the air conditioned practice room, although she may have been imagining it. They continued that way- with him demonstrating parts and her repeating them- for maybe twenty minutes before beginning to pack up. He responded to her 'thank you' with a small, soft smile, and then they parted ways.
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2017, 06:28 AM   #5
Anjula
miss wonderfulamazing
 
Anjula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 1,035
Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Such a cute romance
__________________
www.biijacz.tumblr.com
Anjula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2017, 06:48 AM   #6
ashblonde
Busy writing
 
ashblonde's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 236
ashblonde never has a post go unnoticedashblonde never has a post go unnoticedashblonde never has a post go unnoticedashblonde never has a post go unnoticedashblonde never has a post go unnoticedashblonde never has a post go unnoticedashblonde never has a post go unnoticed
Default

A new romance from a new(?) FFA writer? Be still my heart
ashblonde is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2017, 08:40 AM   #7
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashblonde View Post
A new romance from a new(?) FFA writer? Be still my heart
I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it! I'm completely new to this type of writing and I have to admit I was a little nervous to put it up here Hate to say the next part is going to be a little delayed (I may or may not have dropped my writing device and shattered the screen) but I'm hoping to have it up sometime next week!
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2017, 08:28 AM   #8
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,569
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

I hope you've been able to repair or replace your writing advice, because I'm sure I'm not the only one waiting to hear more about those green eyes, etc
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2017, 12:05 PM   #9
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default

Part 3
One of the greatest parts of living in a coastal Florida town is the access to the ocean it provides, free of the obnoxious crowds of tourists you would find in the bigger cities. Caroline's mother loved the ocean, a trait Caroline herself had also inherited, but the muscle spasms and fatigue that resulted from her mother's ailment prevented her from being able to drive herself anywhere. Caroline often brought her mother to the local beach where she could keep an eye on her while she went for a swim. Today was to be one of those days - and she was meeting Julia at the beach as well, which always put her in a good mood.

The smell of salt was brought to Caroline by an ocean wind as she set up a towel and umbrella for her mother in the sand. Julia ran up to greet her and assist in getting her mother settled.

"Hey Caroline!" she called, "and hello, Natalie. How are you today?" Julia smiled respectfully at Caroline's mother.

"As good as ever, maybe even a little better now that I'm in the fresh air. It’s always so good to see you Julia, I swear you're the only thing keeping me from driving my poor Caroline here completely insane," Natalie responded, smiling up at her daughter from her chair in the sand.

"Oh, you know that's not true. I love you, mama," Caroline laughed. Seeing her mother's happiness written so clearly on her face gave her a rush of warmth. She'd made the right choice in deciding to stay with her- even if it meant putting her aspirations on hold.

Julia and Caroline made their way to the ocean together, laughing and talking. Spending time with Julia always made Caroline feel like she was still in high school. Julia was so fun, and so carefree, and she always acted from the belief that the whole world was still open to her. They talked about the local gossip, about Julia's latest advertising project, and about their love lives (or Caroline's lack thereof) for what felt like hours. Julia had a new boyfriend *again* and she absolutely swore that he was ‘the one’ - *again*. Caroline had always been envious of her petite brown-haired friend’s ability to maintain optimism in the face of repeated rejection. Julia would date a man for a week or maybe two, before she either wore them out with her relentless energy or grew bored of them. And Julia channeled that energy into playing matchmaker for Caroline as well. She sent a constant stream of guys in Caroline’s direction, and Caroline spent a considerable amount of effort in dodging them.

At some point, clouds had begun to gather overhead, and now the sky was threatening rain. With concern for her mother, Caroline was about to say farewell to her friend when she heard a new voice calling her name.

“Caroline! Hi! Funny seeing you here.” Caroline turned to identify the source of the voice. It was David. David the Singer.

“And this is… ?” he asked, his gaze shifting to Caroline’s friend.

“Oh, this is Julia, she’s been my best friend since forever,” Caroline responded. Introductions were made, with Julia grinning wickedly and glancing back and forth between Caroline and David through the whole thing.

“Hey- since we don’t have practice tonight, the guys and I were going to get drinks at the bar we usually perform at. Would you like to come along?” David asked. Caroline knew that he was flirting with her; it was obvious enough in the tone of his voice and the smile that was invading his features. Caroline looked into his thin fair-skinned face and big blue eyes and felt … nothing.

It worried her sometimes- guys would ask her out all the time and she would even go on dates with some of them. And she’d enjoy the dates, she really would, but they always felt like an outing between friends to her. They failed to evoke any form of a physical response. Even sex felt boring and awkward to her. Julia always insisted she just needed to find the right guy, but Caroline wasn’t so sure.

Back in reality, David was waiting for an answer, and Caroline pulled herself back out of her thoughts to give it to him- and under Julia’s expectant gaze there was only one correct answer to give.

“Um, I’m not working today, sure” she conceded.

“Great! I’ll see you there, then.” David grinned. He seemed like a nice enough person; maybe she should give him a chance.

They were back on the sand, and Julia’s devious smile had yet to fade.

“He liiiiiked youuuu,” she cooed, nearly dancing about Caroline mother as she helped in folding up the beach umbrella. Caroline didn’t quite share in her excitement. She really did like the band, and she wanted to avoid the inevitable awkwardness when things didn’t work out with David. She really didn’t want to have to go back to working another counter.
---
Caroline wasn’t usually one for bars. She liked focus and direction, and bars are places entirely void of either. The only direction, as far as she could tell, was to drink to get drunk, which was something she never did alone and only occasionally did with friends. She felt comfortable with the guys from the band, however, and found herself enjoying herself quite a bit. David was obviously trying quite hard to capture her attention, and as the conversation progressed she began to find the true personalities and backgrounds behind the faces of her fellow band members.

Shaun was married to a man named Jackson, and together they had adopted two children. After how quiet and uncertain he’d seemed through the couple of practices that she had seen him at, Caroline was surprised to see how much Shaun opened up when the topic of conversation was his family. He seemed very pleased with his life, and radiated the subtle confidence of a man who’d attained his most important life aspiration.

Garret, on the other hand, remained smooth and steady throughout the conversation. He had no peaks of excitement or valleys of hesitation that came and went with the conversation’s focus the way Shaun did. He was a powerful and level presence, but it seemed to Caroline that his cool demeanor was underlied by a very careful effort to keep up some form of guard. When he wasn’t playing with the band he was a freelance programmer that worked from home. Caroline was vaguely envious that his career choice allowed him to dodge the obstacle of their town’s remoteness that was preventing her from similarly establishing herself professionally.

He seemed so perfect, like he had everything in his life together- he had his music and his career and he always dressed so nice and everything about him seemed so effortlessly calculated. He looked so soft and so round and so comfortable and she so much wanted to break down that guard he’d put up because he was so---

What? Caroline snapped herself out of her thoughts abruptly. Where had that come from? How had she gotten so distracted? David was looking at her, triumphantly; clearly he had just said something that she was supposed to be impressed by. Caroline blinked at him as she realized she had no idea what he’d just said, or even what the current subject of the conversation was. Panicked, she faked a smile and nodded politely at him.

And so the conversation continued, and David seemed not to have noticed her momentary lapse in attention as he continued to tell of the time that he’d apparently spent a week learning to fish with the residents of a small village somewhere in Brazil. Caroline did her best to pay attention and not to let her eyes wander back to Garret, who was sitting beside him. She felt awful- she’d been invited there by David, and he was clearly putting on a show for her, and she’d practically been ignoring him.

Her brain’s need to create a logical understanding of the situation was coming up blank. David was charismatic and very traditionally good looking, and yet the only person who was really capturing her interest was Garrett, who was neither of those things. There was something about Garret, which Caroline for the life of her could not identify, that made everything else seem to fade to the background of her mind when he was around.

Caroline didn’t have much experience with attraction. She’d never felt attraction to any of the lean and confident guys who had asked her out in the past. She couldn’t be attracted to Garret, could she be? Garret was nothing like the chiseled and muscular guys that all of her college friends had gone crazy for. He was so much- bigger. Big wasn’t supposed to be attractive, right? None of the guys that were “so so hot” that Julia had tried to set her up with were big.

But when she looked into those dark green eyes of his she felt … something. Something where she’d felt always felt nothing before. It confused her.

And that’s how she felt still as she lie in bed that night trying to find sleep- confused.
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2017, 03:29 PM   #10
clockworklove
 
clockworklove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: floor-eye-duh
Posts: 42
clockworklove can now change their title
Default

I'm really enjoying this! Your authorial voice is very natural and relatable, and the plot itself feels very real and well fleshed out. You're obviously a super skilled writer-- I can't wait to see where you take this story!
clockworklove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2017, 03:42 PM   #11
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default


Part 4

A week had gone by since Caroline's first rehearsal with the band, and tonight was to be her first performance. As she stood behind the cafe counter waiting for her shift to come to a close, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Even in her college days she had never quite grown used to performing in front of an audience, and now, after a two year hiatus from drumming of any kind, her apprehension was only intensified.

She shifted her posture as she stood at her station, drumming on the counter with her fingertip and fidgeting slightly. She looked up as the next customer approached and then smiled as her eyes fell upon a familiar face. Garrett. Immediately she felt her restlessness melt away as he returned her friendly smile.

"Coffee and a pastry?" she asked him before he was able to give the order himself.

His eyes widened in mock surprise, "How did you know?"

With a light giggle to herself Caroline whirled away to put together his order once again. There was something about his smooth and seemingly unbreakable confidence that made her own nervousness evaporate. She sure could use that superpower of his to keep her calm over the next couple of hours. Maybe she should-

"My shift ends in twenty minutes, would you like to get some dinner together before the show?" the words escaped her lips before her mind had time to fully process the thought.

Caroline could have sworn that there had been a chatter of quiet talk among the other people in the cafe as she asked the question, but now all she could hear through the silence left by Garrett was the sound of her own heart pounding. She watched his face, waiting for an answer. She watched as the smile on his soft lips dropped. She watched as the shine in his green eyes disappeared, only to be replaced by a brooding darkness. She watched as he pulled his shoulders back and into himself, as though he was trying to make himself smaller.

"Why?" His lips barely seemed to move as he delivered the curt single-word question. His voiced was crackling and barbed- almost accusatory.

All the breath was sucked out of Caroline's chest, and for a moment she couldn't put together any words to form a cohesive response out of. Inviting him to dinner had been to her a natural extension of the warmth that she thought they'd been sharing. Why did he look now like she had said something unforgivable?

She swallowed, and forced herself to speak. Barely. "I thought... I wanted... had to get dinner anyway... was nervous about the show... thought it would be a good way to pass the time ... with you ..."

"Oh."

Silence reigned for a moment, before he continued, "I suppose I'm not that busy that I couldn't go to dinner with you. If that's really what you want. "

There wasn't any warmth left in the air. All that was left was a nervous anxiety- the same as what Caroline had been feeling before he'd entered the shop.

So she shook her head. "No, if its a bother to you, then I don't want to take up your time," she said quietly.

The expression on his face changed again to something she didn't quite recognize. Certainly softer, and certainly less afraid and angry, but still uncertain, and still slightly dark.

Silently, he took his order from her and handed her a wad of bills. He turned to leave before she could so much as count out his change.

Caroline blinked. This is what she got for being impulsive. Cold, hard rejection. How did Julia do it? She was always so confident, so persistent.


And what was with Garrett? She had never seen him break so dramatically from his typical cool, confident character before. Had she really been so out of line with her question? The image of his face as it had looked as he rejected her returned to her mind. It still seemed so alien to her. he normally looked so warm, and so at peace with himself, she'd almost felt drawn to reach out and touch his soft cheek to try and tap into that energy of his. Or go lower, and wrap her arms around his waist, and pull herself into that soft body of his...

Caroline shook her head, pulling herself back out of the fantasy. Clearly, he wasn't interested. And even if he had been, those kinds of things never ended well for her. It wasn't worth the pain.

She mad a promise to herself to do her best to put him out of her mind and to enjoy her relationships with her bandmates for what they were. If she pushed things, she'd ruin it. That's how it always went.

---

Caroline scoured the bar crowd apprehensively with her eyes as she arranged her percussion equipment in front of her. She had no real reason to be nervous - there was only one song that she was still having trouble with, and David had promised her not to start that song without checking with her first.

But there was something about the bar setting that unsettled her - with the constant dull but droning chatter produced by the patrons and the casually expectant looks they kept shooting towards the band.

And, of course, there was Garrett. His expression gave away noting - not so much as the slightest hint that the exchange between them earlier that day had even happened. He hadn't said so much as a word to her since arriving at the bar, or even glanced in her direction. It was as though she didn't exist to him.

David was standing beside her. She hadn't noticed him before that moment, and he hadn't said anything to her yet, but she could tell by the inquisitive look on his face that he'd noticed her staring at Garrett.

"So what's his deal?" she asked David, nodding her head towards Garrett in what she hoped was a casual manner.

David looked at her with an odd expression on his face for a moment, but then responded, " He's a good enough guy- sociable when you drag him out somewhere but otherwise keeps mostly to himself. I met him in college, the year before he graduated, and we've kept this band going together ever since. I get the feeling you're referring to something slightly more specific here though, so you're going to have to help me out a little if you want a better answer."

"I saw him earlier today and he... kind of freaked out on me," she admitted.

"Well, what did you say to him?"

"Nothing crazy, I just asked hi if he wanted to get something to eat together before we performed tonight."

The same odd look returned to David's face as he asked, " Why would you ask him that? "

She snapped. "Maybe I enjoy his company? I don't get why that's such a hard concept for the both of you to understand.

It came out louder than she'd intended- Garrett was looking at her with an expression of shock inhabiting his soft features. Caroline wondered briefly how much of their conversation he'd overheard. David blinked at her with a similar expression of surprise before retreating to his mic stand.

Caroline moved to hide behind her drums as she regained her composure. The performance passed her by in a blur, her hands keeping the beat largely without her notice. It seemed to go well enough, and the bar patrons gave them the expected polite applause between songs. It wasn't long before the night had drawn to a close, and even then Caroline found herself still unable to take her mind off the situation with Garrett.
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2017, 12:27 AM   #12
agouderia
Library Girl
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,156
agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Interesting!

Can't wait to find out which turns this story will take.
agouderia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2017, 01:59 PM   #13
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by clockworklove View Post
I'm really enjoying this! Your authorial voice is very natural and relatable, and the plot itself feels very real and well fleshed out. You're obviously a super skilled writer-- I can't wait to see where you take this story!
Quote:
Originally Posted by agouderia View Post
Interesting!

Can't wait to find out which turns this story will take.
Thanks guys! As a new writer, it really means a lot to know that you all are enjoying this
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2017, 02:10 AM   #14
Erestor
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 3
Erestor has said some nice things
Default

This is great! Really love your writing style and characterisation
Erestor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2017, 05:58 PM   #15
Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,680
Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.Xyantha Reborn has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Really enjoying this!
Xyantha Reborn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2017, 02:00 PM   #16
ALS Again
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 56
ALS Again can now change their title
Default

Please, more!
ALS Again is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2017, 07:19 AM   #17
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,569
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

I hope you haven't lost the rhythm of this story; still hoping for another installment!
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2017, 03:32 PM   #18
Kahlan_FFA
 
Kahlan_FFA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northern Ca
Posts: 33
Kahlan_FFA can now change their title
Default

This is so much fun!
Kahlan_FFA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-19-2017, 02:14 PM   #19
Observer
Editor/Writer/Commentator
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,349
Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Observer has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

For what its worth, I agree with Tad - this tale is too interesting to be left in Danglesville.
Observer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2018, 03:18 PM   #20
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default

Very very sorry to have left this in the air for so long, I was on such a roll over the summer but then when university started it somehow got away from me. I will have a new part up tonight, or tomorrow at the latest, I promise!
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2018, 06:31 AM   #21
growinluvhandles
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 72
growinluvhandles can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catalin View Post
Very very sorry to have left this in the air for so long, I was on such a roll over the summer but then when university started it somehow got away from me. I will have a new part up tonight, or tomorrow at the latest, I promise!
It's all fine, Catalin. What you have written is such a compelling tale that we can wait until you get it just right.

In the past, I have left readers hanging for a long time, and I felt bad about it, but once I finished, they were appreciative.

I still have one major story "Kandy is So Fattening" that I have yet to finish, and it is one of my most popular. Maybe you will inspire me to finish it with your own determination.

Best to you in writing a beautiful "ending" to this story.
growinluvhandles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2018, 02:07 AM   #22
Island Girl
 
Island Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 38
Island Girl has said some nice things
Default

Oh, this is just fantastic! How in the world did I miss this over the summer? I look forward to hearing the rest of the story!
Island Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2018, 04:10 PM   #23
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default

Part 5

Caroline pulled up to the café the next morning in her mother’s old sedan and sighed to herself. She switched the engine off and looked through the car’s window, but for a moment made no move to get out of the car. A little childish hope had been flitting at the back of her mind that as she opened up the shop she’d see Garret there waiting for her arrival. The logical part of her was slightly irritated that she couldn’t shake such a ridiculous fantasy.

It didn’t truly matter, however, because as she walked up to the storefront she was very quickly confronted with the reality of his absence. She tried to justify to herself that she’d known all along it was nonsensical to expect he’d be waiting for her, but felt disappointed nonetheless. Bitterness set in as she realized how easy it would be for him to change his habits to the coffee shop down the street to avoid awkward confrontation with her. Her shift felt even longer than it ever had before; the ticking of the clock was simply far too slow a tempo for her mind to keep a beat to.

Finally, the final ten minutes of her shift arrived and with them a wave of irritated frustration was brought over Caroline. For the first time someone had caught her attentions and she’d blown her chances with him after knowing him for barely a week. The shop was entirely empty, so she went into the back to sit on the ground and collect her composure. It took her a few moments of reflection to calm herself. All in all, her life was looking more up than it had in some time- she finally had a job that suited her creative spirit and she was making nearly as much with the band as she had with the grocer. She’d never had much of a love life in the past, so her current situation couldn’t really be called much worse. There was a customer ringing the bell at her counter now, so she inhaled deeply and returned to her feet.

Garret looked almost as surprised to see her as she was to see him. She watched as the expression on his face changed from shock to relief and then back to his typical cool confidence.

“I’ve never come so late before; thought for a moment that I’d missed you,” he said

“Another five minutes and you would have,” Caroline responded, glancing at the clock. She watched as his composure changed slightly. It was as though a subtle nervousness was infecting his calm.

“I want to apologize for the other day,” he started, “it was wrong of me to imply you had bad intentions in asking me to dinner.” He broke eye contact with her, instead focusing on the counter between them. “I guess I’m just not used to people being interested in me for any good reasons.”

The last part was said so quietly that Caroline wasn’t quite certain she had heard him right. His words seemed so far removed from his typical character, and she had a hard time believing their meaning to be true.

Before Caroline had a chance to react, however, Garret brought his eyes back to meet hers and continued, “I’d like to get dinner with you tonight, if you’re still interested.”

Too caught off guard by the situation to fully process it, Caroline responded with her first impulse instead, “Yeah, of course. Here, I’ll give you my phone number so we can make plans.” She penned out her number on a slip of paper, put together his order for him, and before long they were walking out the door together and heading their separate ways home.

A few hours later she found herself seated across from Garret in a nice Italian restaurant just outside of town. Conversation flowed easily between them, and Caroline found herself to be much more relaxed alone in his presence than she did at the bar with the rest of the band. She learned quite a bit about him in the process -he’d grown up in New Jersey but went to university in Florida, where he’d decided to stay after meeting David and starting up the band. Caroline couldn’t help but consider the irony in the fact that Garett, who had the ability to go wherever he pleased, had chosen to come to this small Florida town that she so desperately wanted to get out of.

When the waiter came to take their order, Caroline was struck with a mild frustration upon realizing she’d been too distracted by the conversation to remember to so much as open up the menu. Caroline had been plagued by ADHD since she’d been in grade school, and she had by this point in her life come to terms with it as a permanent component of her character. That didn’t stop her from being irritated by all the little forgetful incidents such as this one, however. She indicated for the waiter to start with Garett’s order as she attempted to quickly skim the menu for something that caught her eye. Upon hearing Garett’s order of a fettuccini alfredo, however, she decide to save herself the trouble and to match his order. The conversation continued to meander for some time before Garett suddenly refocused it.

“So what is your goal here exactly?” he asked abruptly, “you looking to date the whole band?” His tone was nonchalant- almost flippant- but it still caused Caroline to freeze in surprise. Fortunately, she was saved from answering immediately by the waiter returning to set two very large but good looking portions of fettuccini alfredo in front of them.

After the waiter had left Caroline responded with as cool of a disposition as she could manage, “I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

“David practically talked my ear off bragging about how you had come out to the bar with us on his invitation, and then just a couple of days later you’re asking me to a private dinner. Why?” Garrets green eyes seemed to burn into her as he asked the question.

It irked Caroline slightly to think that David saw her as some form of commodity to be won over, and her next response carried a slightly defensive tone, “It isn’t like that with David. I accepted his invitation because I wanted to spend time with the band, not because I have some particular interest in him. To be entirely honest, I’d rather spend my time with you than with him.”

Caroline’s eyes shot down to her hands awkwardly. She hadn’t meant to say that last part; it was too blunt and too forward for her comfort, but the words had just sort of tumbled out of her mouth.

Garret’s eyes continued to burn.

“Really? It seems quite unnatural that lead singer would be passed up in favor of the guitarist,” he said. There was an edge to his voice that implied that their respective roles in the band weren’t the real cause for his suspicion. Caroline fumbled with her silverware uncertainly, not sure how to respond or how to break down the wall he seemed to be putting up around him.

Then he sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m being accusatory again, and that isn’t fair to you; you’ve done nothing to warrant it. Let’s just enjoy our dinner and conversation, yeah?” There was a heartfelt-ness to his voice that Caroline hadn’t heard from him before.

Their conversation reverted back to a much more pleasant state as they ate, but it wasn’t quite as natural as it had been initially. The food was very good, but also very filling and Caroline initially wasn’t certain she’d be able to finish it. She looked over to Garret, noticing the way his broad belly filled out his button-down shirt so perfectly when he was seated. She wondered how many extra pastries had gone into that stomach of his as a result of their coffee shop interactions. It made her shiver slightly to think that she could take credit for some of his indulgences.

What? Caroline pulled herself out of this train of thought with a start. Why would she even think of that? Feeling confused and slightly perverted, Caroline tore her eyes away from Garret’s stomach and focused on her plate of pasta instead. There was about a third remaining, and while she was feeling satisfied she probably could finish it if she wanted to. Garett, on the other hand, had finished his plate already and was waiting patiently for her.

“Hey, I’m pretty full, would you be interested in the rest of this?” she asked him.

He gave her a slightly incredulous look and placed his hands over his stomach before saying “No, that’s alright, I’m pretty full already. And to be frank, I really don’t need it.”

“Oh, but it won’t keep well for leftovers, and it feels wrong to let such good food go to waste, “she said, softening her eyes as she looked at him.

“I suppose you have a point there,” he responded with a sigh, pulling her plate towards him.

Caroline had to make a conscious effort to keep her eyes from wandering to his belly as he filled it up with more pasta, but for the life of her she couldn’t understand why.

After the meal was finished and the check was paid, they rose to exit the restaurant together. As Garett turned to make his way back to his car, however, Caroline reached out to take his hand and stop him.

“Really?” she asked, “is that it?”

His eyes narrowed in confusion, but before he had time to respond, Caroline pulled him in for a hug. The embrace was warm and soft and had a certain electricity to it that Caroline had never experienced in the many goodbye hugs she had given to failed dates in the past.

Awake in her bed later that night, Caroline reflected on the events of their dinner. She couldn’t explain to herself the emotional response she was having to Garett. There was something about his size that drew her interest, but it didn’t make any sense to her. Surely she must be broken somehow if the only trait to ever cause her to experience attraction is the one trait that most people collectively agree to be unattractive.

Suddenly, a particular phrase surfaced in Caroline’s mind.

‘Chubby chaser’.

She didn’t quite identify with the term as a label for herself, as it sounded uncomfortably predatory. But that didn’t really matter. The simple fact that the term exited implied something much deeper.

It meant she wasn’t broken, and she wasn’t alone.

It meant there were other people out there that had experienced the same things that she was feeling currently.

And that was all she needed to know.
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2018, 09:46 PM   #24
Catalin
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 12
Catalin has said some nice things
Default

So, I’m kind of torn on this currently. On the one hand I feel very invested in the characters at this point and would love to give the story a real plot and continue expanding upon it for for all eternity (or until everyone is thoroughly sick of it). On the other hand, I kind of like it the way it stands currently as a short and sweet tale of self-discovery and am considering giving it one more chapter to wrap it up solidly. (And then maybe trying my hand at writing a longer piece that isn’t quite so generic as this). Feedback would be much appreciated, I’m very interested in hearing what you all think about this!
Catalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2018, 06:24 AM   #25
agouderia
Library Girl
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,156
agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!agouderia keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

I was actually happy to see a new installment of this story - and now am slightly disappointed that it is supposed to be over.

From my perspective as a fellow writer, this ending would leave the characters with their story in limbo.

Because it has progressed too far to be a real short story, just painting a brief impressionist tableau of the characters with their life situation.
On the other hand, there still are too many open threads, hints at various character aspects that would be disappointing if they are now unresolved.

From how I read the story, it does not need to go on endlessly, but a little unraveling of how Caroline comes to terms with being a chubby chaser and what Garret's true back story is would most likely be highly appreciated by your readership.
agouderia is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Does the true hourglass female body shape exist? wagnerstrauss Weight Board 141 11-19-2009 10:42 AM
Dangerous Hourglass curves PlumpPEARS Plus-Size Paysites & Photo Shoots - Censored 2 03-11-2009 02:58 PM
Amazon Hourglass PlumpPEARS Plus-Size Paysites & Photo Shoots - Censored 2 02-12-2009 02:24 PM
The Hourglass Changer Parts I-II - by Umbroboyum (~BBWs, Magic Spell, Romance) UMBROBOYUM Fantasy/Science Fiction Archive 5 06-22-2008 07:34 PM
Would I be considered a Pear or Hourglass? Curvylady Weight Board 42 06-14-2006 04:23 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:58 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.